Chapter Text
Stede triumphantly walked into Spanish Jackie’s bar, a large box under his arm. “Good morning, Jackie dear! I’ve fetched that parcel you asked for!”
Jackie chuckled as she looked up from her glass, shaking her head at Stede. He was always so adorably dramatic, and today was no different. “Good job, baby girl!” She cooed, “Lets see it then!”
Jackie let out a squeal of delight as Stede opened the box. Inside were dozens of bottles of tinctures, powders, and make up, all fresh from France. The box smelled heavenly, like a garden of roses, and Jackie was delighted to pull out a small jar of face cream.
“And what’s more, we raided a French Ship last week, so I’ve got an even larger supply on the “Revenge!”” Stede grinned at her.
“Honey, you sure know how to make a lady feel loved!” She gave him a side hug, pulling out another few bottles from the box. “Speaking of, how’s your lady doing? Her paintings are selling like hot-cakes out here!”
“Mary? Oh, she’s doing wonderfully! I got the invite for her elopement with Doug for next month!” Stede beamed, tugging on his lapels.
“I’ll have to send her flowers!” Jackie replied with a grin. “Where your boys at? I think this calls for a spa day!”
Stede chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, I dont know if they’d enjoy it. Ed, probably, but-”
“No, you’re right. I’ll have to bring the Spa to them, wont I?” Jackie grinned at Stede, closing the box and pushing past him with it. “C’mon fancy man, we’ve got a spa day to get to!”
Soon enough, Jackie had set up a small spa on the bay where the Revenge set up mooring. She had called a few of her girlfriends and savvy husbands from the port to help set up, and soon, Astrid’s Bluff was a right proper spa, with a masseuse and everything!
*
The crew had never seen such a sight. There were a few small areas for each kind of treatment, from manicures and pedicures, to a right proper massage bench. There were even tubs of warm, bubbly water for soaking in, which how Jackie had managed to get them to the beach the crew would never know.
Jackie herself had settled into one of the tubs, her long hair pulled up into a turban, and wearing not but a long red soaking shirt. Wee John sat in the tub next to her, his feet dangling over the edge as he sank to his nose in the warm water.
“Mm, this is the life, Baby Girl!” Jackie cooed, bringing a glass of champagne to her lips.
“Aye, I reckon I could get used to this.” Wee John replied, sitting up just enough to tuck his feet back into the tub, sloshing water and bubbles over the side. “Whats in yer fancy drink?”
“Champagne, baby.” Jackie raised an eyebrow. “You ever had any?”
“No? Cant say I have.”
Jackie pulled the bottle up from the bucket of cool water it sat in. She poured a second glass, then handed it to Wee John, who took it as daintily as he could.
“Why’s it all bubbly?” He asked, peering at the drink before sniffing it. Smelled of fruit, and the fizz tingled against his whiskers.
“I dont know how the fuck the French do it, but its good shit!” Jackie chuckled, holding her glass up. “Cheers!” Wee John carefully clinked their glasses together, then took a cautious sip. It was the sweetest drink he’d ever tasted, and the bubbles tingled across his tongue. He took another sip, letting out a low hum of approval.
“Cheers!”
*
Lucius sighed as he sank into the warm water of a tide pool, cucumber slices over his eyes and a cold-cream all over his face. “Been a long time since I’ve gotten to relax like this!” He muttered, a smile tugging at his lips. Black Pete dropped into the water next to him, resting his elbows on the edge of the pool with a happy little chuckle. “You’re so cute when you’re all dolled up, babe.”
“Mm, if we get to keep any of those supplies, you’ll have a boyfriend who looks brand new by the end of the week!” Lucius teased, “Cuter than hell!” He smiled.
The smile dropped as someone grabbed one of the cucumber slices off his eye. He peeked his free eye open to see The Swede standing over him, chewing on the slice.
“Are you gonna eat this one too?” The Swede asked in his slow drawl. Lucius pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yes. And I want another slice for the one you just stole!”
“Okay, sorry.” The Swede replied, and delicately replaced the half-chewed slice to Lucius’s eye. Black Pete couldn’t help but howl with laughter, swatting at Lucius’s arm playfully.
“Well I *WAS* Relaxed!” Lucius huffed, peeling the cucumber slices off his eyes and tossing them into the water.
**
“Well, what about the massage line?” Oluwande asked, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice. He’d asked Jim about just about everything at the Spa day, from lounging in a tide pool, to getting their hair done, to even getting a manicure.
“Nah.” Jim replied, just as bored as they had been for damn near everything else.
Olu sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yknow, Captain did order us to have fun and relax today. Is there something you’d rather do?”
Jim shrugged, kicking a shell by their boot.
“Jim-?” Olu started, taking their hand.
“I dont Nevermind, its stupid.”
“Jim, come on. Talk to me.”
“I dont like being touched by strangers, okay?” Jim finally admitted, shoving their hands in their jacket pockets.
Olu couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. “Love, you really think I’d let any of them hurt you?”
“Its not about that-!” Jim frowned, tipping their hat down to hide their face. “I dont.. I’ve never liked people I dont know touching me. You and Nana are the only exceptions, and with Nana, its… Not as intimate.``
Olu didn’t have to see Jim’s face to know they were blushing. He smiled, closing the gap between them with a gentle press of his hand to their shoulder. “As much as being-” It was Olu’s turn to blush. “Intimate with you is, this isn't really the place for it. How about this? We do something where it’s just me touching you then? Or just, not touching at all? Would that be alright?”
Jim considered for a long moment, then nodded. “Si. I can do that.”
Olu looked around, trying to find something, anything, that would work under that condition. Finally, he spotted something that might just work. “Come on, this way!”
And that is how Olu and Jim ended up sitting together, their feet in barrels of warm water, their backs against a warm sand dune. The water was scented with orange blossom salts, a request from Jim. Olu was gently stroking Jim’s back, the two watching the water before them in a comfortable silence. Jim had finally relaxed enough to put their head on Olu’s shoulder.
“See? This isn’t so bad.” Oluwande murmured, giving Jim a gentle smile.
“Si, but only because you’re here.” Jim replied, sighing heavily as if they were about to sleep. It was the most relaxed Olu had ever seen Jim be outside of their quarters. It was a nice feeling, just being able to relax with them, and watch the sky fade from light to dark blue.
Olu sighed, gently reaching over and stroking Jim’s hair, carding his fingers through the long locks. “Love you.” He murmured softly, tilting his head to kiss the top of Jim’s head.
Jim smiled to themselves, sighing gently.
“Yo también te amo, siempre“
*
Ed let out a deep groan, which made the masseuse, a tiny but powerful latina woman, laugh. “Found the knot then, yeah?” She asked, digging her elbow into Ed’s shoulder. He was sitting fully dressed on a low bench, his arms supported by a barrel as he leaned forward. Zee, the woman in question, grabbed his shoulder and pulled back lightly. “Aaand breathe out- Perfect!” Ed let out a deep, pleased noise as the knot that had pulled at his shoulder finally released. He heard a popping noise from his shoulder, and let out the breath he’d been holding as it clicked back into place.
“Fuuck, damn girl that elbow is fuckin’ gnarly!”
“Oh, you love it!” Zee teased, grinning at him. She then worked at the shoulder muscles with the heel of her hand. “Shit, when was the last time you got a massage? You’re stiff as your fuckin’ boyfriend over there!”
Ed’s face turned pink as he looked over at Stede instinctively. “Uh-! Well, Never.”
Zee moved to face him, raising a pierced brow at him. “Your man never fuckin’ gave you a massage? Shit!”
“Dont think he knows how-!” Frenchie piped up from the small line that had formed for the massage. Zee gave him, and the line, a stern look. “Alright, fuckin’ take notes. Only use your elbow if it’s a deep knot, otherwise the heel of your hand works just fine. Dont use your thumbs all the time, or you’ll wear them out. And don’t press too hard on the kidneys or spine.” She pressed the heel of her hand at the base of Ed’s neck, then dragged it across his other shoulder. He was, as far as he could focus on, taking notes, because Stede deserved this kind of treatment too. He was jostled from the thought of running his hands across Stede’s back by Zee’s voice. “Yknow, if you get him alone, you can use lotion and shit too.” She said with a wink.
Ed hadn’t thought of that. That was a thought that was going to fester.
Zee smirked as she drove the heel of her palm into Ed’s trapezius muscles along his neck, moving around to the front of him to further press against his shoulders. “These muscles are where you store your tension most often, so for fucks sake, relax your goddamn shoulders!”
Ed let out a loud groan, his hands flopping limp against the barrel as she pressed. “Yep, you’ve been carrying a shitton of stress. Breath out, slow-! There you go-!” Zee smirked as Ed’s shoulders relaxed, nodding at her work. “Alright, you’re good! Next!” She helped him off the bench, signaling for Frenching to step up.
“Where’d you learn all this, mate?” Ed asked, rolling his shoulder as he watched Zee start to work over Frenchie’s back.
“There was an academy I joined after I got out of the Navy.” Zee smirked, “Messed up my back while I was in, and needed to get it fixed. I Found this school, and they taught me how to fix it, and how to fix others.”
“You- oof- you give lessons?” Frenchie piped up, letting out a high pitched whine as she worked on his arm.
“Maybe, if the pay’s right!” She grinned at him, then back at Ed. “I’ll take a day on the ship if y’all let me!”
“I think we can afford that, yeah.” Ed grinned back at her. This was going to be fun.
*
“Could you at least *try* to relax?” Stede asked, impatience creeping into his voice as he stood infront of Izzy.
“No.” Izzy stubbornly crossed his arms. He sat on an overturned palm tree, sweating bullets in his leathers. There was no way in hell that Izzy would allow anyone to make him all frou-frou like the rest of the crew. He’d already been forced to be barefoot on the sands from Jackie’s silly “No Shoes Rule!” she’d implemented, and he’d been trying to hide his missing toe all morning. No reason to add insult to injury.
Stede puffed air from his nose, then got an idea. He walked away for a moment, making a show of it. “Fine, fine, stay here and sweat then!” He picked up a box as he left, looking back at Izzy a few times.
Izzy watched him go, knowing the look on his face. He was planning something. Either he could sit here and wonder, or…
When he caught up to Stede, he found him in a small, quiet copse of palms. They were close enough to the group that the din of their conversations was soft, but far enough away to have just a bit of quiet. Izzy crossed his arms again, watching Stede as he opened a small box.
“If you’re not going to try to relax, I’m going to have to order you.” Stede was half teasing as he said it, but the way Izzy’s back straightened told him he didn’t see the humor in it. He took a blanket out of the box, and laid it out on the soft sand. “Israel, I order you to sit down and relax!”
Izzy snarled. His nails dug into his arms, but then, surprising even himself, he sat on the blanket. “If you fucking touch me, I swear to fuck-!”
“Oh, hush!” Stede snapped, harsher than he meant to. The man was infuriating, but dammit, Stede was trying to like him, at least a little bit. For Ed’s sake. He drew a heavy sigh, then pulled out a few bottles from the box, setting them in front of Izzy. He sat, cross-legged in front of him, and held up each bottle. “This one is a cold cream, made of lavender, rose-water, and fats. It helps your skin, especially after sun-damage. This one is-”
“I dont have time for your fancy shit.” Izzy grumbled. Though, if truth be told, he did, kind of, sort of, maybe, definitely want to try some of it.
“I was going to let you pick-!” Stede frowned. Izzy huffed for a moment, then waved vaguely at the last tin. “Fine. That one. Whatever.”
“Ah! Conditioner! Perfect!” Stede grinned, then stood up again. “This is going into your hair, alright?”
Izzy made a non-commital noise. Fuck. The dandy man was going to be playing with his hair, whoop-dee-do- oh wait that felt amazing.
Stede’s fingers were soft against his scalp, his short nails just gently scratching at the skin. Izzy let out a breath, and a noise he didn’t know he could make, as Stede’s fingers gently smoothed the potion into his hair. Stede, thankfully, didn’t mention the noise. He continued to speak, rambling as he did, in a low voice. “This is one of my favorite things too, getting my hair conditioned.” Izzy could smell something floral coming from the oil, but for once he didn’t mind the scent. For once, all he could think about was how… nice, this all felt. To have someone gently scratching his scalp, murmuring in such a low tone, and just.. Taking care of him. His shoulders finally dropped from their high position around his ears, and his body gently swayed with the motion of Stede’s fingertips. Stede smirked to himself. This was working!
When Stede’s hands left his scalp, Izzy almost mewled, almost. He looked back, frowning at the loss of that comfort. Stede caught the look, but decided not to speak on it too much.
“Here, we’ve got to style it some.” Stede pulled a boar’s hair brush from the box, and used it to carefully brush back Izzy’s hair. Izzy settled again at the touch, though not as much as he did with Stede’s fingertips.
“You have lovely hair, Iz.” Stede murmured.
“Mm?” Izzy peeked an eye open, expecting Stede to be grinning as if it was a joke. Instead, he saw the beach before him.
“It’s got such a lovely curl to it, and such a pretty color.” Stede continued, brushing his hair back towards the nape of his neck.
Izzy mumbled something, but Stede couldn’t quite hear it. It sounded positive though. This was progress. This was the quietest Stede had ever heard Izzy and to be perfectly honest, he quite liked the feeling of Izzy’s scalp in his hands. The little noises he made were lovely, and once he relaxed, he was quite handsome.
Stede and Izzy looked up as Ed came barreling through the space. “Stede, man, you gotta get one of them Massag- oh. Hey Iz-!”
Izzy’s frown came back to his face, nearly undoing all the quiet progress Stede had made. Stede sighed, moving both the brush and himself from Izzy’s scalp. He was about to say something to Ed when Izzy grabbed his wrist. “....”
“Yes?” Stede asked after a moment.
“...Can.. you do that again? Later?” Izzy had his head twisted in such a way that to Ed, it looked like it was an insult.
Stede hid a smirk as he nodded. “As often as you need, Izzy.”
Ed looked between Izzy’s retreating form and Stede. “What was that about?” He asked with a quirked brow.
“Oh, I just got to introduce him to hair oils.” Stede smirked, then leaned up and kissed Ed’s cheek. “Which, I hear you’re in need of as well? We’ll probably need to spend some time on it.”