Work Text:
Roach didn’t get to choose his name. When he was small, a man had seen him begging for coins on the side of the road and called him a roach. A cockroach, a pest, fit only to be stepped on.
When he was Briar, he learned more about roaches. Tris learned of his past and told him that cockroaches would inherit the world.
“Maybe that’s what you really are. A cockroach.”
He didn’t tell her how much that hurt.
Roach fit, the other kids told him. He could fit into things, and he always ran away. If you tried to get rid of him, he always came back.
He tried to pretend it was a compliment.
Learning languages was fun. It was always more useful, though. If a Bag thought no one understood him, he’d say more than he should.
The Traders felt like kin to him. They were detested by everyone, but they still made a life. They had more money than him, but what was that worth if people trusted them even less than him?
When he met Daja, he said that Tradertalk could break someone’s teeth. Mostly, though, he just wanted to get away.
Becoming Briar was the best change in his life. He reinvented himself, a little at a time, and a name was the first step. Back in Hajra, it’d be called a girl’s name, but here, it was just his.
Having to change his name, though, was hard. He’d been Roach for forever but now he was Briar. The context probably made it much worse.
It took a while to respond to Briar but every time it felt good. Moss was good, too, an homage to his friend in the prison cell, but Briar was always more. Briar was him, not just a friend.
Tris taught him to read and he hated it. He didn’t need to know what the scribbles said when he could talk just fine. He didn’t say how good it felt to write his own name.
Rosethorn called him “boy,” and it felt good, and it felt right. It wasn’t personal, but it was him; he was Rosethorn’s boy. It was like when he called Daja “Daj.” It was good.
When he taught Evvy to read he felt like he was passing on a gift. Reading and writing made his world so much bigger and now he did the same for his student. Just like with Tris, it made him feel closer to her, and when she fought him he knew he did the same.
Evvy’s stone alphabet was magic. It was like holding her whole world.
Being called a mage was new, but not too bad. He still preferred Briar, but that was okay. It was part of who he was, so he shouldn’t deny it. It certainly made sense.
Evvy called him “pahan,” sometimes. So did the other Chammuri kids. It was weird to be called a teacher, but it felt strong. These kids looked up to him and he was doing something right.
Sandry called Briar her brother and he almost cried.
Tris gave him her books.
Daja corrected his Tradertalk.
Evvy asked him to read from her book.
Lark called him “dear” and Rosethorn called him “boy.”
Niko called him Briar, and everything changed.