Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey, so,” says Kaminari, strolling into the common room and jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “Does anyone know what’s with the gigantic magical vine forest way over on the other side of campus?”

“Shut the fuck up, moron, magic isn’t real,” says Katsuki, just for something to say and also because Dunce Face is a dunce face and magic isn’t fucking real, dunce face.

Kaminari shrugs, flopping down to sit next to Kirishima on the couch. “You’re telling me something that looks that much like a picture from a fairy tale isn’t magic? Do I look like an idiot?”

Katsuki opens his mouth to tell Kaminari just exactly how much of an idiot he looks like, but Kirishima beats him to it – not to telling Dunce Face he’s a dumbass, because Kirishima is a fucking amazing person who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and yet somehow is friends with Katsuki anyway, but just to, you know, saying something.

“I’ve seen that place, too!” he says, looking enthused. Not that that means much, since Kirishima could get enthused over the opening of a paper bag, but still, apparently people care more about the weird fucking landscaping situation in the north-east corner of campus than Katsuki realised. “It does look kinda creepy.”

“Oooh, are you guys talking about the magic forest?” Ashido says, bouncing over from whatever chaos she’s been creating on the other side of the common room.

“Magic isn’t fucking real!”

“I heard from Hagakure that she heard from one of the girls on the business course that one of the third years said that the teachers don’t even know how it got there!”

“Whoa,” says Kirishima, like she’s just presented him with solid statistical evidence of fucking fairies or some shit.

“That’s fucking bullshit,” Katsuki says. Like, normally he wouldn’t even lower himself to be involved in a dumbass conversation like this, but he was fucking sitting here first and the conversation happened around him, and he’s not fucking moving but he’s also not letting these idiots act like what they’re saying isn’t incredibly stupid. “It’s a landscaped fucking campus, what, it just fucking appeared one day?”

“No, no, I heard that too!”

Fucking great. The one person who probably could produce solid statistical evidence of fucking fairies. Katsuki’s lip curls as Deku hurries over, clutching one of his stupid notebooks, eyes wide and earnest.

“Apparently it just appeared about ten years ago, just grew up overnight, and the groundskeepers have never been able to get rid of it!”

He’s flipping through his notebook and Katsuki is feeling a headache coming on. The dumbass nerd opens a page and shows them all a sketch of the weird vine thicket, surrounded by notes in his unreadable handwriting.

“What do you mean, can’t get rid of it?” Ashido asks. “Can’t they just cut it down?”

“No, that’s the thing!” Deku says, working himself up into that state of nerd-excitement that never fails to set Katsuki’s teeth on edge. “Nothing seems to have any effect on it! Not weedkiller, axes, chainsaws, quirks – and the vines are so thick and thorny that no-one can get inside to see if there’s anything more to it. Present Mic told me they think it’s a quirk but they have no idea what the point of it is!”

“Sounds kinda like this conversation,” says Katsuki.

“Oh, come on, Blasty, you’re telling me you’re not even a little interested in a mysterious unkillable forest?” Ashido says, punching him in the arm.

“It’s just fucking plants, who the fuck cares.”

“Plants that nothing can destroy,” says Kaminari. “Magic plants.”

“Magic doesn’t fucking--”

“I bet even you couldn’t blow your way in there,” says Ashido.

And suddenly, Katsuki’s interested.

****

It’s not that Katsuki hasn’t noticed the giant, ugly pile of vines before, but it’s a full two kilometres away in a part of campus he doesn’t have reason to go to very often, so he hasn’t really looked at it before. Now that he is looking at it, he has to admit (though not out loud, obviously) that Dunce Face has a point. It is fucking weird and creepy-looking. It’s as tall as a three-storey house, maybe a hundred metres wide, and you’d think that there should be trees or something there for the vines to hang off, but there’s just – vines. Grey green, thick as All Might’s thighs, with thorns the size of your hand, fucking – just a fucking gigantic pile of vines.

“That’s pretty fucked up,” Katsuki says. Nature is fucking weird sometimes.

“Magic!” Dunce Face says, with the kind of shit-eating grin that lets Katsuki know he’s saying it just to piss him off. Which, fine, Katsuki’s happy to oblige. Being pissed off at Dunce Face is one of the reassuring constants in his life.

“Shut the fuck up,” he says.

“OK, I’m gonna--” Kirishima says, and hardens up, heading over to try and force his way through the outermost vines. He shoves at one of them, trying to push it far enough away from the next to create some kind of opening, but the vine doesn’t move an inch, like Kirishima’s not even there. Kirishima gets his shoulder underneath and heaves, with the same result, i.e. fuck all. Eventually, he steps back, sweat standing out on his forehead.

“Yeah, those things are tough, bro,” he says.

“OK, my turn!” Ashido claps her hands together in excitement, then directs a jet of acid onto the vines. It drips down onto the ground, the grass immediately surrounding the thicket shrivelling and dying. The vine, though, looks exactly the same. Well, a little wetter.

“All right, all right,” Kaminari says, rolling up his sleeves and stepping forward. “This seems like a job for some electricity.”

And that’s how it goes. Dunce Face succeeds only in blowing his own mind, Ponytail creates a machete and then a chainsaw and then a machine gun and gets absolutely nowhere, Deku’s Detroit Smash might as well be tickling the fucking vines with a feather, all the rest of the extras are even more fucking useless. The only actually helpful ones are Ears, who plugs her jacks into the ground and informs them that it’s like there’s a cone of fucking silence around the vines, like there’s nothing in there at all, and Round Face, who floats herself over the top and confirms that it’s just as tangled up there as it is down here.

So that’s where they’re at: a big fucking pile of fucking indestructible fucking vines. What the fuck?

“Must be a quirk,” Deku’s mumbling, scribbling in his notebook. “But why? Who would--?”

“Fucking fine, you fuckers are all fucking useless,” Katsuki says, and steps forward, flexing his fingers. Kaminari cheers like an asshole, Kirishima slaps him on the back, and Katsuki ignores them all, because fuck it, this is a challenge and therefore he is going to fucking win. He sets off a few minor explosions as a warm up, takes a few steps back, and then takes off at a run, sprinting forward until he’s in exactly the right place, then throwing his palms forward and pushing everything he has into them.

BOOM

Katsuki uses the blowback to somersault back from the edge, landing with bent knees, eyes trained on the dissipating cloud of smoke. As it clears, he sees what’s under it: a smoking hole in the tangle of vines, edges still smouldering. Inside, there are more vines. But there’s the fucking answer: not indestructible.

“Whoa,” says Kirishima. “Good job, dude.”

“Hope the rest of you extras are taking notes,” Katsuki says, and slouches over to the hole, pushing his way through to where the wall of vines begins again. He considers the best way forward. Predictably, the best way forward is to blow some more shit up. So that’s what Katsuki does.

BOOM

BOOM

BOOM

Katsuki’s fully inside the vines now, and every explosion lengthens the tunnel he’s making for himself. It’s kinda dark, though. And then – it’s very dark.

“Bakugou!” yells Kirishima behind him, weirdly muffled. Katsuki turns to see – nothing. It’s fucking dark. The light that was coming in through the hole Katsuki made to the outside world is gone.

Because the hole is gone.

Shit.

“Hey!” Katsuki yells. He pulls out his phone and flicks on the flashlight. Most of the tunnel’s still there, it’s just the entrance where the vines have somehow instantly regrown. That doesn’t mean it’s gonna end there, though, and Katsuki hastily stumbles back over the uneven floor of the tunnel, tripping over the rough-edged ends of vines and almost impaling himself more than once on a giant fucking thorn. “What the fuck, fuck off, asshole plants!”

“Kacchan!”

“I’m fucking fine!” Katsuki reaches a wall of vines where the way out used to be. “Stand back, extras, I’m coming out!”

He shoves his phone back in his pocket flexes his fingers, and calculates an explosion that should KO the vines without blowing him to hell in this wonderful fucking enclosed space.

BOOM

And – daylight. Katsuki stumbles out, snarls at all his dumbass classmates who are giving him worried looks from a safe distance away, then turns and kicks the nearest vine.

“Fuck you, vegetative bastards!”

The vines don’t have a comeback for that (hah!), and Katsuki folds his arms and waits for the hole he made to seal up. Everyone else gathers, watching nervously. But the hole doesn’t seal up. It’s just – still there.

“What’s it like in there?” Deku asks.

“Dark. Lots of fucking plants.”

“It was weird, they just – suddenly regrew. We thought they might have – tangled you up--”

Fucking Deku. “It was fine. It was only the ones over the entrance that regrew, the rest were fine.”

“So then – maybe there’s like a time-limit,” Round Face says. “Maybe the ones you blasted inside are regrowing now.”

Katsuki goes to the entrance and gets out his phone again, peering inside without getting too close. It still looks as deep as it was when he got out. It doesn’t seem like anything’s regrowing.

Deku comes to stand next to him. “Maybe--” he says, and takes a step towards the entrance.

And then it’s gone. It’s almost too fast to see, the vines regrowing over the tunnel, huge and grey and thorny, like they’re a hundred years old even though Katsuki literally just saw them grow before his eyes.

Deku jumps back. “Oh!”

Katsuki snarls. “Fuck you,” he says, and blows the entrance open again. Inside, the tunnel is still intact. It’s just the entrance that’s regrown. Maybe it’s a time limit, like Round Face said. Or maybe--

“Hey, did one of you dumbasses try and follow me?”

“Huh? Oh, I did,” Kirishima says. “But then the vines did that thing.”

Katsuki nods, glaring at the smouldering entrance. So Kirishima tried to go in and the entrance sealed up. And Deku tried to go in and the entrance sealed up. But when Katsuki went in--

He steps inside.

“Bro!”

Katsuki gives Kirishima the finger without looking back. These fucking plants think they can fucking beat him, but that’s their dumbass mistake. Katsuki knows a challenge when he sees one, and he’s fucking accepting it. He’s gonna blast his way all the way through this stupid thicket, one way or another.

“Don’t follow me,” he says. “That’s what sets them off.” Fucking magic vines. Katsuki has no idea why they let him in but not any of the extras. Maybe they just recognise greatness when they see it. Whatever, now that Katsuki knows they’re trying to keep people out, he definitely needs to know if there’s anything worthwhile hidden inside.

BOOM

BOOM

BOOM

In between booms, Katsuki can hear Deku in the distance, explaining what’s going on with the entrance to the rest of them. Figured the fucking nerd would figure it out. He works his way deeper, the light getting dimmer as the tunnel to the entrance gets longer. There’s just – more vines. Always more fucking vines. He keeps the explosions as low-key as he can while still strong enough to blast through, but he’s still getting kinda tired. It’s warm, too – warmer than outside. It’s – fucking weird is what it is.

It’s been maybe twenty-five minutes of constant effort, and Katsuki’s starting to wonder if he’s just gonna make a hole all the way through and find that there really is nothing in here but fucking vines, when he sets off yet another explosion and suddenly – things get a little lighter. He blinks, wafting the smoke out of the way. Instead of more vines in front of him, there’s – space. And light. It’s not daylight, but something low and flickering, like firelight. He stares for a moment, then steps forward, into the space.

It’s almost like a room, a domed space within the vines, about the same size as the 1-A classroom, but walled by tangled vines and with that flickering light that has no source that Katsuki can see. There’s no furniture, nothing in the chamber at all except one thing, right in the middle: a long, stone platform, about a metre tall, and lying on it, a person.

“Holy shit,” Katsuki mutters. There’s a fucking person in here. He stumbles over to the platform. “Hey! Who the fuck are you?”

The person doesn’t answer. It’s a guy, about Katsuki’s age, dressed in something that looks like cosplay from a shitty movie about the Heian period or some shit. He has weird fucking hair, half of it red, the other half white, and an angry red scar that covers his left eye. The overall effect is extremely fucking bizarre, but also – somehow – pretty fucking hot. He’s also fucking sleeping, which, considering how much noise Katsuki’s been making seems pretty fucking impossible. Or – fuck, dead, maybe? Shit.

“Hey!” Katsuki says again, and shakes the guy by the shoulder. It’s cold. Fuck, maybe he is fucking dead. Katsuki leans over, putting his ear up close to the guy’s mouth, and after a second or two of holding his own breath, he feels a puff of warm air, slow and quiet. Katsuki swallows, mouth dry. Not that he really gives a shit if there’s a dead guy in the middle of the vines, but still. He’s a fucking hero, most of the time it’s better if people aren’t fucking dead.

“Wake up, asshole,” Katsuki says, grabbing both shoulders now and shaking. The right shoulder is still cold, but the left is – warm? Fuck, who the fuck is this guy? “Wake the fuck up, come on, I’m not carrying you out of here, asshole!”

The shaking just sets the guy’s head lolling on his neck and thumping against the stone, and giving the guy a brain injury (assuming he doesn’t have one already) is not on Katsuki’s to-do list, so he stops and opts for glaring instead. “The fuck is wrong with you?” he asks.

The guy doesn’t answer, just lies there sleeping. And hot. Not that Katsuki really gives a shit about how hot some comatose stranger is, but he really is fucking ridiculously hot. It kinda pisses Katsuki off.

Katsuki’s contemplating just hauling the guy out of there when his phone rings, startling in the thick, green air of the weird magic chamber or what the fuck ever. Not that magic exists, but this is definitely – weird.

“Bro!” Kirishima says when Katsuki answers. “You OK? You stopped exploding.”

“Yeah, just found the middle,” Katsuki says. “There’s some dumbass sleeping in here.”

“Huh? Sleeping?”

Katsuki snaps a picture and sends it to Kirishima. “Can’t wake him up. I’m gonna bring him out.”

“Sleeping Beauty, huh?” For some reason Dunce Face is now on the line, which, fucking Kirishima, what a fucking traitor. “Have you tried laying one on him?”

“Fuck off,” Katsuki says, and ends the call, shoving the phone in his pocket. “Fine, asshole,” he says to the half-and-half bastard. “Have it your fucking way.”

He gets his arms underneath the asshole’s back and knees and lifts. There’s definitely something screwy going on with this guy’s temperature, hot on one side, cold on the other, but the weight of him is solid in Katsuki’s arms and he’s breathing slow and steady, so it’s all good. He’s heavier than he looks – stupid kimono probably weighs a ton – but Katsuki’s fucking strong so no problems there.

There is a problem somewhere else, though, which Katsuki discovers as soon as he turns away from the platform and starts heading towards the tunnel. It’s fine for a couple of steps, but then Sleeping Asshole makes this slightly choked noise in Katsuki’s arms and – without any fucking warning, fucking hell – stops breathing.

“Hah?” says Katsuki. He shakes the asshole. “The fuck, breathe, idiot!”

The halfie does not breathe. His head’s lolling back, mouth slack and open. He looks – a lot paler than he did a second ago, like suddenly he’s getting sick. Or dying. Shit, or dead. Did Katsuki kill him by moving him? Shit, shit shit shit.

Katsuki turns back and lays the halfie on the platform again, ready to start CPR. But the moment he sets him down, the guy’s body kind of jerks and then he sucks in a breath, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. And then – back to nothing. Slow, steady breaths, no other sign of life, skin back to a colour a few shades more healthy than corpse white.

“Shit,” Katsuki says. His heart’s thundering in his chest, shit. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

But the guy doesn’t answer.

****

Bakugou Katsuki is all about solutions to fucking problems. Lucky for him, most problems that he actually gives a shit about can be solved by blowing something up and/or punching someone in the face, so overall he’s pretty well suited for the job.

Sleeping Asshole, on the other hand, is a fucking issue.

Katsuki tries yelling. He tries shaking. He tries knuckles on the sternum, pinching the ear, pulling off the bastard’s geta and poking the soles of his feet. He tries playing death metal from his phone. He tries Kaminari’s truly terrible singing. Nothing makes the slightest bit of difference. This stupid, hot, sleeping asshole just carries right on fucking sleeping like Katsuki’s not even there. And if there’s one thing Katsuki can’t stand, it’s being fucking ignored.

Katsuki also tries twice more to carry the guy out, but each time, he stops breathing a few seconds after Katsuki lifts him off the platform and starts again as soon as Katsuki puts him back. All of this is just – incredibly fucking frustrating.

“I fucking hate you,” he says to the half-n-half bastard, not for the first fucking time. Then his phone rings again, because the extras apparently need a constant running commentary of all the amazing fucking success Katsuki is having.

When he answers the phone, though, it’s Aizawa.

“Bakugou,” he says. “Midoriya’s told me what’s going on. It’s getting dark. Time to call it a night.”

“Hah?” Katsuki takes the phone away from his ear and stares at it. “What, and just leave this idiot here?”

“That’s right.” Aizawa might as well be directing traffic for all the interest in his voice. “I’ve been discussing with the faculty and it seems likely he’s been there for at least ten years. We’ll need to do some research, but I don’t think another night will make things any worse.”

Katsuki’s lip curls. There’s no way he’s gonna let these stupid plants win this one, no way. “I--”

“Bakugou. Get out here.”

“Fucking – fine!”

Katsuki shoves the phone back in his pocket and glares at Sleeping Asshole. “Don’t think this means you’ve won, Halfie.”

But the halfie doesn’t answer.

****

That night, Katsuki can’t sleep.

In the evening, all anyone can talk about is the weird guy sleeping in the weird vine forest (“magic vine forest”, says Dunce Face whenever he’s out of Katsuki’s reach). Deku’s feverishly doing research, muttering and scribbling, announcing his results to the room in general whenever he gets something, most of which seems to be fairy tale bullshit. Ashido’s somehow got hold of the picture Katsuki sent to Kirishima and is giggling about how hot the guy is – which, she’s not fucking wrong but it’s still fucking annoying. Glasses keeps making solemn pronouncements that Katsuki doesn’t listen to because fuck solemn pronouncements, the guy’s just a fucking asshole who won’t fucking wake up. And so even if he wanted to forget all about it – which he doesn’t, because it’s unfinished business and Katsuki is definitely going to fucking finish it – Katsuki wouldn’t have a hope in hell.

“You said Heian period?” says Deku for the fourteenth time. “Do you think--”

“No!” Katsuki says. “No, I do not think! I don’t think it’s magic, or time travel, or whatever the fuck you’re going to say next! It’s just some kind of shitty quirk and tomorrow I’m gonna un-shit it and then you can all shut the fuck up!”

“Oh, OK!” Deku says, starting to sweat a little. “Sorry!”

“Fuck’s sake,” Katsuki growls, then shoves his chair back. “I’m going to bed.”

But he can’t sleep.

It’s fucking – annoying, is what it is. Katsuki beat the bastard plants, so that should have been it. He already fucking won. But now – he can’t wake the stupid guy up, can’t get him out of there, no-one else can get in to help. And what Aizawa said keeps echoing in his head. It seems likely he’s been there for at least ten years. Like, what the fuck? How is he still alive? Why is he wearing that shitty outfit? What kind of ridiculous fucking quirk produces a situation like this?

It’s two a.m. before Katsuki finally dozes off, and he’s awake again before six, glaring at the dim light falling through his window as the sky starts to lighten in the east. This is so – fucking annoying.

Fuck it.

****

Katsuki makes it to the north-east corner of campus before the sun has fully cleared the horizon. The giant pile of asshole vegetation is still there, the tunnel Katsuki made still open. And the guy? Katsuki taps his fingers against his thigh, wondering if he’ll still be there. Maybe he woke up and fucked off in the night. Maybe he just vanished. Maybe he fucking died. Fuck.

“Fuck,” says Katsuki, and steps inside.

He needs the phone flashlight to guide him, with it not yet being full light outside, but after a few minutes of walking he starts to see the flickering glow up ahead. He feels – weird, like he’s nervous or something. Which he obviously is not, because why the fuck would he be? He’s not fucking Deku. He just needs to – wake this guy up. He needs to finish this fucking business.

Katsuki steps out into the chamber in the middle of the vines and everything’s – the same. The flickering light, the close, green air, the asshole sleeping in the middle of it all. Something kind of loosens in his chest, and he coughs. Must be the weird change in humidity or some shit.

“Wake up, asshole,” he says, approaching the platform.

The asshole does not wake up. Katsuki stares at him – the slow, almost imperceptible rise and fall of his chest; the eyelashes outlined against his cheek, one set white, the other red; the fall of hair across his forehead. Fuck, he fucking hates this guy. What is his fucking problem?

“Wake up!” he says again, grabbing the halfie’s shoulders and shaking him hard. There’s a thump as the asshole’s head hits the platform and Katsuki snarls. “Fucking wake up! What is wrong with you, you lazy fucking bastard!”

No response. Katsuki stands, fists clenched at his sides. He feels – helpless. And he fucking hates that. Fucking hates it.

For some reason, at that moment, Dunce Face’s voice pops into his head. Have you tried laying one on him? He wouldn’t even think about it except for all Deku’s stupid research last night, the one story that kept coming up over and over. A fucking fairy tale, fucking bullshit for kids and idiots, fuck’s sake. But Katsuki’s out of ideas and – fuck it, it’s not like anyone would ever know anyway.

“This is stupid,” he growls.

Then he leans over and presses his lips to the halfie’s.

Nothing happens. Well, nothing except that Katsuki notices how soft the bastard’s lips are, so fucking weird, partly warm, partly cool. He closes his eyes a second, just – not really thinking about anything except that, the weird sensation. It’s not bad, it’s just – weird.

Then he realises what he’s doing and pulls back, staring at the halfie’s face. Still sleeping. Still, it was worth a--

The halfie’s eyelashes flutter slightly and Katsuki pauses in the act of pulling back, staring, his face only inches away. Another flutter. And then: the asshole opens his eyes and Katsuki thinks huh. One of them’s blue and the other’s grey. The guy really is a half-n-half bastard. And – he really is awake, awake and staring up at Katsuki. Also, fuck, he’s even hotter with his eyes open.

Then the halfie punches him in the face, and after that Katsuki has other shit to worry about.

Chapter Text

“Holy fuck,” says Katsuki, staggering back with his hand pressed to his nose. “The fuck are you doing, asshole?”

The asshole in question shoves Katsuki back another step, throws himself off the stone platform, lands in a fighting stance, and produces a really fucking sharp sword from the scabbard at his side.

“Fucking bring it,” Katsuki says, squaring up, palms popping.

Then the half and half bastard chokes slightly, opens and closes his mouth a couple times, and collapses, eyes rolling upwards in his head. He hits the floor hard, thankfully managing not to fall on his fucking sword, and Katsuki jumps forward, kicks the sword away, and gets his knees onto the asshole’s elbows, ready for him to come back up swinging.

He doesn’t come back up swinging, though. He doesn’t come back up at all. He’s also not fucking breathing. What an asshole.

“Fucking seriously?” Katsuki says. He waits another second in case it’s a trick, but Halfie’s face is turning dead white, and even if he did just fucking punch Katsuki for no fucking reason, it’s probably not OK to just let him die.

“Shit,” mutters Katsuki. He climbs off the dumbass, grabs him none too gently, and hauls him back onto the platform. A second later, Halfie sucks in a breath, and then--

--nothing. Fucking nothing. The halfie’s breathing again, which Katsuki supposes is an improvement, but he’s not waking up, and that is fucking – annoying, what the fuck? Katsuki literally just woke him up! And yet now, here he is again, sprawled untidily across the platform where Katsuki dumped him, blue and gold kimono trailing, eyes closed, fucking asleep. Again.

“You asshole,” Katsuki says, shaking the stupid halfie by the shoulders. “What the fuck, wake up, bastard!”

But the bastard doesn’t wake up. If it wasn’t for the pain in his fucking nose, Katsuki would be starting to wonder if he just dreamed the part where the guy was getting ready to attack Katsuki with a fucking sword. Fuck, he fucking hates this guy.

“Wake up!” he yells, getting right up into Halfie’s space, their faces inches apart. “Wake up, wake up wake up wake up you ornery motherfucking bastard!”

The asshole does not wake up. Katsuki sucks in a furious breath and smashes his lips into the halfie’s, shoving his tongue into his mouth while he’s at it because fuck, he fucking hates this guy.

For a second, it’s just Katsuki kissing a sleeping dumbass. Then there’s a twitch under Katsuki’s lips, and he pulls back, jumps back out of range, because like fuck is he letting this guy punch him a second time. The halfie twitches again, then his eyes blink open. He stares at nothing for a second, then gasps and sits sharply upright, eyes wide and furious, scrabbling at his empty scabbard.

“Calm the fuck down,” Katsuki says. “You’re under some kind of stupid dumbass quirk and you-- No, don’t get off the platform you incredible fucking moron--”

The halfie takes a step towards his sword, gleaming in the flickering light a few feet away, then sucks in a breath and crumples.

Katsuki closes his eyes and counts to three. He would have made it ten, but he doesn’t want the halfie to suffocate. Much.

“You are seriously so stupid,” he says, hauling the idiot up and shoving him back onto the platform. “I should’ve just let you fucking fall on your fucking sword, fuck.”

He puts his hands on the idiot’s shoulders and stares at him. He’s breathing again now, eyes closed, chest rising and falling gently like nothing ever happened. Fuck, this guy is so fucking annoying.

OK, fine. Katsuki needs a plan, because round three of the exact same fucking thing will seriously make him blow one or both of them up, and his other option is to do nothing and let the teachers try and deal with it, which, fuck that, Katsuki’s not a do nothing kind of guy. He stares at the sleeping idiot for a minute or two, thinking. He knows how to wake him up, he knows that when he wakes him up he’s probably gonna come up fighting, and he knows that as soon as he gets off the platform they’ll be back to square one. So – what?

Finally, Katsuki shoves the halfie properly onto the platform, climbs onto it himself, and straddles the bastard’s chest, kneeling on his elbows. He tests the position for stability. Halfie’s legs are still free, which is a problem, but Katsuki can’t exactly bring reinforcements if the entrance won’t let anyone else in, so this is pretty much as good as it’s gonna get. He takes a deep breath, grabs the halfie’s face with one hand, and kisses him firmly.

A second passes. Two. Then those stupid mismatched eyes open, blink, and widen. The halfie’s whole body tenses under Katsuki, and Katsuki leans forward.

“Listen, moron,” Katsuki says, keeping his grip tight on the idiot’s face. “Stop fucking around. I’m trying to fucking help you. You’ve been under a quirk or some shit and you’ve been asleep, and if you get off this fucking platform you’re just gonna fall asleep again and it’s fucking annoying as shit, so fucking – stop being such an asshole or I’ll blow your fucking face off, got me?”

The halfie stares up at him. He looks pretty pissed, but he’s not struggling. So – message received? Katsuki fucking hopes so. It’s not even 6 a.m. and this is already a shitty fucking day.

“I’m gonna get off you,” he says. “Don’t get off the fucking platform. Got it?”

Halfie makes the slightest nod – probably can’t do much else with how tightly Katsuki’s holding his chin – and Katsuki takes a deep breath then lets go, scrambling off the platform – off the half-n-half bastard – without taking his eyes off him. Once he’s safely a couple steps away, out of reach, he straightens up and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“How the fuck did you get in here, anyway?”

Halfie sits up, cross-legged on the platform. Despite the fact that the last twenty minutes have included Katsuki kissing the fuck out of him three times and him passing out like a moron twice, he somehow manages to look extremely fucking elegant. He frowns at Katsuki. Still looks pissed. Whatever.

“I asked you a question, dumbass.”

Halfie’s frown deepens, then he opens his mouth. And says – something. It’s something deep and rich and full of sh sounds that make Katsuki feel – kind of weird. What it is not is anything resembling Japanese.

“Hah?” Katsuki says. “Speak Japanese, idiot, I don’t speak – whatever the fuck that is.”

Halfie’s face darkens. He speaks again, but it’s just the same – some other language, fucking weird sounding, nothing Katsuki can understand. And Katsuki starts to think – shit.

“You understood me before,” he says. “You nodded. You telling me you don’t speak Japanese at all?”

Halfie stares at him, gestures, a weird kind of shrug.

Well, fuck.

****

After maybe five minutes of frustration, it’s pretty damn clear: Halfie does not speak Japanese. He’s at least managed to grasp enough of what Katsuki’s said to stay on the platform, and he hasn’t tried to kick the shit out of Katsuki again – although Katsuki hasn’t come within arm’s reach of him, either – but that’s all the fucking progress they’ve made. Well, that and Halfie’s been awake for more than ten seconds, which is a fucking miracle.

The problem is, Katsuki doesn’t have the first clue how to get him out of here.

He’s leaning against the wall, staring at the halfie and trying to figure shit out – and the halfie’s staring right back, which is fucking distracting because his eyes are weird and his face is weird and he’s just fucking weird – when his phone rings. Halfie starts, looking around with a frown, and Katsuki pulls the phone out of his pocket, waves it at Halfie in explanation, and answers the call. It’s Kirishima.

“Bro, aren’t we running?” he says. “It’s 6.30. You’re not answering your door.”

Ah, shit. “I’m in the stupid forest,” he says. “Wanted to get this shit done.”

“Huh? You went there on your own? Man, you should have woken me up! What if something happened to you?”

“Whatever.” Katsuki’s frowning at Halfie, who is staring at him with his head tilted to one side. He looks like a confused fucking puppy. Fucking annoying. “Listen, the idiot woke up, but I can’t get him out of here.”

“He woke up? Who is he? What’d he say?”

“Fuck if I know, he doesn’t speak Japanese. Fucking dumbass, too.” Katsuki glares at Halfie, who’s still staring like he’s never seen someone talk on the fucking phone before.

“Whoa.”

“Annoying as shit,” says Katsuki. “Every time his feet touch the ground he fucking passes out. I can’t figure out how to get him the fuck out of here.”

“Can you get him out without his feet touching the ground?”

“Tried that yesterday.”

“Hey, man, I don’t think you should be in there without any backup outside. I’m coming over, sit tight.”

Katsuki sighs. Fucking Kirishima and his stupid giant heart. “Fine, but don’t bring the idiot crew with you. It’s too early in the morning for that shit.”

He ends the call and stalks over to the platform, glaring at Halfie. Halfie looks back, and then, when Katsuki’s within arm’s reach, suddenly his hand darts out and grabs the phone, jerking it out of Katsuki’s grasp.

“Hah?” Katsuki snatches after it, but Halfie shoves him in the middle of the chest, not even looking at him, staring at the phone like it’s fucking gold-plated or something.

“Asshole!” OK, fine, the stupid halfie’s shove took him by surprise and he stumbled back a couple steps, but they had a fucking truce, dammit! Katsuki could definitely take this fucking bastard. He’s a fucking idiot! Like right now, he’s shaking Katsuki’s fucking phone like he thinks there’s something inside it. What the fuck?

“That’s mine, you candy-striped bastard,” Katsuki says, advancing on the platform.

Halfie presses the phone to his cheek and raises a finger like he wants Katsuki to wait. Like he thinks Katsuki’s just gonna – do whatever the fuck he wants.

“What the fuck,” says Katsuki, and snatches the phone out of Halfie’s hand.

Halfie glares at him and says something in that earthy language. It sounds kind of rude.

“My fucking phone,” Katsuki says, pointing at it and then at himself. “Get your own, asshole.” Then he shoves the phone in his pocket and scowls.

Halfie scowls back. There’s a scowl-off for, like, two minutes (which Katsuki fucking wins, he can scowl for fucking Japan), and then Katsuki growls.

“How do I get you out of this fucking place and out of my fucking life?”

Can you get him out without his feet touching the ground?

No. Katsuki fucking can’t, because he tried that yesterday and the bastard stopped breathing every time. But then – he was asleep then, and he’s awake now, so circumstances have changed. So maybe--

--ugh, fuck, no. Katsuki is not princess-carrying this bastard all the way out of this stupid fucking magic fucking forest.

Halfie says something. It’s a complete monotone. You’d think he could at least manage to work up some fucking emotions about – all this shit.

“OK, listen,” Katsuki says, pointing at Halfie. “I’m gonna try this, and if you pass out, then fucking – we’ll deal. But you kick me or struggle or do anything that pisses me off, I’m leaving you here for another ten years, get it?”

Halfie stares at him, face blank. Obviously, he does not get it. Katsuki snarls.

“Fine,” he says, then takes a step closer, keeping one hand in the pocket with his phone in case this thieving asshole decides to go for it again. Closer. Closer. He’s standing right next to the platform. Halfie’s looking at him, head on one side.

“I’m gonna pick you up, now,” Katsuki says. He grits his teeth, forces himself to move slowly, and slides a hand under Halfie’s knees. Halfie tenses up, fists clenching, but doesn’t make any moves. Katsuki puts his other hand behind Halfie’s back and lifts.

Halfie makes a noise of surprise, grabbing at Katsuki.

“Stay still, asshole,” Katsuki says, and turns towards the exit. Halfie’s annoyingly tense, which makes him more difficult to hold, but Katsuki’s always up for a challenge. He takes a step, then another. Before, Halfie would have stopped breathing by now. But he hasn’t. He’s still very much warm and breathing in Katsuki’s arms, eyes a little too wide, hand clenched in the front of Katsuki’s t-shirt. Shit. This might even work.

“OK,” Katsuki says. Then he starts moving, as fast as he can, because now that there’s maybe a way out of here, he wants to get the fuck away from this weird fucking place without wasting a fucking moment. He plunges into the tunnel through the vines, blinking to adjust his eyes to the light. It’s too dim to see if Halfie’s breathing, but the hand’s still wrapped in Katsuki’s shirt, so he must be. Katsuki can’t move too fast in here, with the ground uneven and littered with fragments of vine – if he falls, fuck, if he drops this annoying bastard, who the fuck knows what will happen? As he gets closer to the entrance, he starts calculating how long it would take him to get back to the platform, how long it might be before the halfie died of oxygen starvation. Fuck, maybe this was a terrible fucking idea.

And then he bursts out into the early morning light, sucking in a lungful of air, and meeting Kirishima’s wide-eyed look of surprise.

“Whoa,” Kirishima says, staring at Katsuki, then at Halfie, then at Katsuki again. “Awesome!”

****

Katsuki can think of a lot of words to describe the situation he’s in right now, but awesome is not one of them. He’s pretty hot on dealing with dilemmas – especially ones that can be solved by blowing something up – but the sheer number he’s been fucking faced with before 7 am today is really fucking pushing it. As if having to wrestle this half-n-half idiot into letting him pick him up wasn’t bad enough, now Katsuki has to decide whether or not to put him down. Fucking fuck.

“Maybe you should just carry him back to the dorm,” Kirishima says.

“Great. And then what? I just stand around holding him for the rest of my fucking life?”

“You could put him down when we get there.”

“Fuck’s sake.” Katsuki really wants to facepalm right now, but he’s got an idiot halfie in his arms so he settles for growling, which is really not as satisfying. “If I put him down at the dorms and he stops breathing, he’s gonna be toast by the time I can get him back here.”

Kirishima chews his lip, looking at Halfie. Halfie looks back, silent, blank. “We could take turns holding him?” Kirishima offers at last.

“What, forever?”

“Yeah, it’s--” Kirishima shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t know, bro.”

There’s really only one thing to do. Katsuki thinks hard about the tunnel, how long it would take him to run along it. About how long someone can survive without breathing. He turns back to the entrance, goes as close as he can. Then he looks down at the halfie.

“OK, dumbass,” he says. “I need you to take a deep breath. Like this.” He breathes in deeply, then holds it, and stares at Halfie.

Halfie stares back like the goddamn idiot he is. He does not take a deep breath.

Katsuki lets his own breath out in a frustrated sigh. “Fuck’s sake, work with me here, asshole.”

Kirishima takes a few steps towards them, then stops when Katsuki glares at him, still far enough away that the entrance doesn’t grow shut. He points at himself, takes a deep breath and holds it, then points at Halfie and produces an encouraging smile.

Halfie stares at Kirishima, then looks up at Katsuki. Katsuki takes a deep breath, too, then nods. He does not produce an encouraging fucking smile. But it fucking works anyway, because Halfie takes a breath, holds it, then raises his eyebrows.

“Fucking finally,” says Katsuki. Here goes fucking nothing.

He puts the halfie down.

There’s absolute stillness for a moment or two, Katsuki and Kirishima both with their eyes glued to Halfie, looking for any sign that he’s about to pass out.

A second passes. Two. Halfie looks from one of them to the other. Then he points at his own chest and raises his eyebrows. He does not pass out.

Kirishima lets out his breath in a whoosh. “Awesome!” he says. “It’s OK!”

“Thank fuck,” says Katsuki. “OK, breathe, asshole.” He blows out and points at Halfie, and Halfie lets his breath go.

“This is super cool,” says Kirishima. “What’s his name, man?”

“Halfie,” says Katsuki, shoving his hands in his pockets and starting to walk towards the dorm.

“Hey!” comes Kirishima’s voice behind him, and he turns, only to see the stupid fucking stupid fucking halfie start to head back towards the tunnel.

“What the fuck!”

Katsuki flings himself after him and grabs him by the arm, dragging him back before he can step inside and probably fucking drop dead on the spot like the gigantic fucking moron he is. “What part of can’t breathe in there don’t you understand?”

Halfie frowns at him like he doesn’t understand a single part of can’t breathe in there, which, fine, he doesn’t speak Japanese or what the fuck ever, but Katsuki feels like he’s made it pretty fucking clear. He points into the tunnel and then draws his finger across his throat as graphically as he can (which is pretty fucking graphically, thank you, he’s been practising since he was four). “You. Will. Fucking. Die.”

Halfie’s expression goes from confused to pissed off, and he draws himself up, squaring up to Katsuki. Fuck, he’s taller than him, that is so fucking annoying. Literally everything about this asshole is fucking annoying, shit.

“Not me!” Katsuki says. “I’m not gonna fucking kill you, idiot, I just fucking saved you! It’s that – place!” He stabs a finger in the direction of the vines again. “You go in there, you’re toast, got me? Toast!”

“I don’t think he knows what toast is,” Kirishima puts in.

“Fucking thanks for your help, Shitty Hair!”

“Listen, bro,” Kirishima says, touching the asshole’s arm. He points at the tunnel. “Why do you even want to go in there anyway? Is it your home?”

Katsuki grinds his teeth. “There’s nothing fucking in there! It’s not a fucking fairyland, it’s a room with a fucking stone coffin in it!”

Halfie glares at Katsuki for a couple more seconds, then turns to look at Kirishima. Kirishima makes a face like a quizzical puppy, then points at Halfie, at the tunnel, and makes a huh? gesture. He looks like a fucking mime, what a fucking idiot.

Halfie stares at him for a moment, then raises his empty scabbard and points at it. He points back at the tunnel.

“A sword?” Kirishima says.

“Fuck.” Katsuki smacks his palm over his face. “I left his stupid sword in there.”

“Oh, got it.” Kirishima nods. “That’s cool that you have a sword, bro. Very Kurosawa of you. We’ll get that for you and then we’ll head off, OK?”

“Hah? I’m not getting his fucking sword. He tried to stab me with that thing!”

Kirishima looks worried. “Maybe we can--” He starts tugging on the bastard’s kimono, but Halfie scowls at him then turns back towards the tunnel. “Uh, bro, I don’t think--”

“Holy fucking shit,” says Katsuki. He shoves Halfie away from the tunnel entrance and then jabs him in the chest with his forefinger. “You are a fucking pain in the ass and I should have just let you fucking rot in there.”

Then he goes to get the sword.

****

When Katsuki finally makes it out of the stupid vine forest, he shoves the sword at Halfie and starts walking back to the dorm without pausing to look back. Fuck that idiot, Katsuki got him out of whatever quirk bullshit he was trapped in and now he is no longer Katsuki’s responsibility.

Unfortunately, Halfie starts walking right beside Katsuki, like he has a fucking invitation or something. Apparently, along with not speaking Japanese and being the most frustrating person Katsuki has ever met – which is a high fucking bar – he can’t take a fucking hint.

“I’m Kirishima,” Kirishima says, falling into step beside the halfie. He points at himself. “Kirishima.”

Halfie looks at him and frowns. “Kiri-shi-ma,” he says, the name sounding weird in his whispering accent. Then he points at himself. “Todoroki.”

“Todoroki! Nice to meet ya, bro!”

Kirishima slaps Halfie on the back and Halfie kinda glares at him, but if there’s one thing Katsuki’s learned about Kirishima it’s that he’s completely immune to being glared at. Then Halfie points at Katsuki and raises an eyebrow.

Katsuki curls his lip. “Whatever,” he says.

“Wot-evuh,” says Halfie, then frowns and says something else, like he thinks Katsuki will be able to understand.

“Man, that sounds so cool,” says Kirishima. “What language is that, like, Vietnamese?”

Halfie stares at him, lips moving like he’s trying to follow what he’s saying. Because he’s an idiot, he then trips over a tree root and stumbles, reaching out to stop himself. A jet of ice shoots out of his right hand, cushioning him from the fall and glittering in the early morning sun.

“Whoa,” Kirishima breathes, stopping to stare. “That’s a super awesome quirk, dude!”

Katsuki sneers. Ice quirks generally aren’t worth a whole lot. Weak-ass shit, good for cocktail bars or whatever.

Halfie stands bolt upright, staring at the ice. He looks at his hand. He looks back at the ice. Then he holds his hand out and suddenly there’s – a lot of ice. Like, blocking their entire pathway amounts of ice.

“Holy shit,” says Kirishima. “Bakugou, man, he’s really strong!”

Katsuki stares at the ice and has to admit, that’s definitely not weak-ass shit.

He is having a really fucking annoying day.

Chapter Text

“Great job, dumbass, now we gotta walk round,” says Katsuki, glaring at the giant glittering glacier and then glaring at Halfie. Halfie is also looking at the glacier like he’s never fucking seen ice before, despite having a (fucking irritatingly strong) ice quirk, the bastard. Maybe he’s got, like, brain-damage from sleeping for ten years or whatever.

Then Halfie turns sharply to him and jabs a finger at the glacier, speaking quickly in that stupid language that makes his voice sound really fucking deep and smooth. He stares at Katsuki then repeats what he just said, slightly louder.

“The fuck? I don’t understand you, asshole,” Katsuki says.

Halfie goes from staring to scowling, and he grabs the front of Katsuki’s shirt and pulls him close, speaking again, something different now. He sounds pissed, in a monotone kinda way. Katsuki knows the feeling. Also, man, the asshole is way too close.

“I. Don’t. Understand. You.” Katsuki shoves Halfie’s hands away. “Fucking. Asshole.”

“Hey, hey,” Kirishima says, jumping in between them and putting a hand on Halfie’s shoulder. “OK, bro, let’s chill, OK? Haha, no pun intended. You OK?”

Halfie keeps glaring at Katsuki for a moment, then turns and glares at Kirishima instead. He speaks, short and whispering. Then he says whatever, jabs a finger in Katsuki’s direction, and says something else.

“OK, well – I actually don’t understand you either, but that’s cool,” Kirishima says. “It’s all good! Guess this is a little freaky for you, huh? Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” He pats Halfie’s shoulder and beams at him.

Halfie looks pretty fucking unsatisfied with that, but before he has a chance to go through the whole song and dance again, who should come hurrying round the edge of Iceberg Halfie than the fucking nerd, looking wide-eyed and a little out of breath.

“Kacchan! Kirishima!” he says. “Why is there-- Oh!”

The nerd stops dead, staring at Halfie. If anything, his eyes get even wider. Fucking Bambi asshole, shit.

“Um,” the nerd says.

Kirishima looks expectantly at Katsuki for some fucking reason. Katsuki pointedly ignores both him and the nerd. Kirishima sighs quietly, then smiles at Deku.

“This is Half– um, Todoroki!” he says. “He was asleep in the forest, but Bakugou woke him up. Todoroki, this is Midoriya.”

Halfie completely ignores Deku, repeating some of what he said earlier to Kirishima and waving his hand at him like he thinks that’s somehow going to help with the whole we don’t speak your fucking language, idiot problem.

“Oh! In the forest?” Deku says. “I was just going there to see – But you already figured out a way to – Kacchan, how did you…?”

“Shut up, nerd,” Katsuki says, basically on autopilot, because it’s just now occurred to him that everyone’s gonna want to know the same thing: how did he wake the stupid halfie up? And Katsuki is definitely fucking never ever going to tell them, because – it’s just none of their fucking business, and they’d never shut up about it, like there was anything more to it than Katsuki doing what was necessary to solve the fucking problem. But then – Halfie might tell them, shit. Fuck, he should have fucking – killed Halfie and buried him in the woods or some shit.

Halfie says something else to Kirishima, and Katsuki realises that yeah, Halfie’s not telling anyone shit. Maybe Halfie doesn’t even remember – he didn’t wake up until a few seconds after the whole mouth-to-mouth action each time. Yeah, that’s probably it. And even if he does remember, he can’t even manage can you please direct me to the railway station, so Bakugou sucked face with me multiple times is gonna be way beyond him. So, whatever, these nosy assholes can just fuck off and no-one ever has to know.

“But what about the--” Deku starts, and then Halfie, nostrils flared, raises a hand and produces a shower of ice crystals, shaking them at Kirishima like he wants to start a fucking snowball fight or something.

“Oh,” breathes Deku, then glances back at the giant iceberg. “Oh, you made that? Oh, Todoroki, that’s amazing! You have an amazing quirk!”

“Shut up, it ain’t all that,” says Katsuki.

Meanwhile, Halfie is now staring at Deku like he has two heads. He shakes the handful of ice in his palm again, says something that sounds pretty incredulous, then lifts his other hand and it--

--goes up in flames, like – what the fuck?

“What the fuck?” says Katsuki. He literally just watched this bastard make ice and now he’s making fucking fire? What the actual fuck, who the fuck has two quirks? Shit, how is Katsuki supposed to compete with--

Then Katsuki doesn’t have time to think about it any more, because if he’s surprised (and pissed) by the appearance of a second fucking quirk what the fuck, Halfie is fucking – if Katsuki didn’t know better, he’d use the word terrified. All the colour’s drained from his face, and he stares at his flaming hand for a second, then staggers backwards, closing both fists, dousing the flames and sending ice crystals scattering. He falls on his ass, eyes wide, staring at his upraised hands like he’s never seen them before.

“Shit, bro, you OK?” Kirishima asks, and Deku drops down beside Halfie, looking worried.

“Todoroki, are you all right? Do you feel faint?”

Katsuki frowns down at the stupid halfie, who’s ignoring both Deku and Kirishima and just staring at his hands like he’s seen a ghost. “He can’t understand you, morons.”

“Todoroki,” Deku says, patting him on the shoulder until Halfie turns to look at him. Deku points a finger at him, then mimes fainting. “Do you need some water?” he asks, miming drinking from a glass.

Halfie just stares at him for a moment. Then he holds his hands up, fists still closed, and shakes them, saying something that sounds pretty freaked out.

“Your quirks are amazing!” Deku says. “I’ve never seen anyone with two before, that’s really wonderful!”

Halfie just stares at him like he’s an idiot (which, fair), and something starts to niggle in Katsuki’s mind. Like, this guy’s either auditioning for the latest historical drama or he’s been asleep for – a really long time. And quirks only started to evolve pretty recently, so--

“He doesn’t know what a fucking quirk is,” he says. What a fucking irony, guy doesn’t even know about quirks, gets two, and at least one of them is pretty fucking strong. That really grinds Katsuki’s gears.

“Huh?” says Kirishima, but the nerd looks like he’s just had a revelation.

“Oh!” he says. “Of course, because – but that doesn’t make sense, because if he—” He starts groping in his pocket for his notebook, and Katsuki sneers and then drops down to a crouch in front of Halfie.

“Listen, dumbass,” he says, jabbing his finger into Halfie’s chest. “You got a quirk. We all have them, it’s nothing fucking special.” He lifts his own hand and sets off a couple tiny explosions. Halfie stares at his palm, eyes wide.

“Yeah, bro, hey,” Kirishima says, and hardens himself up. “See?”

Halfie turns to look at Kirishima, then looks back at Katsuki. Katsuki points at his own palm, then at Halfie’s hands.

“Same thing,” he says. “Most of us aren’t fucking greedy assholes with two, though.”

Halfie kind of scowls at him, which is weird since he has no idea what Katsuki’s saying, but maybe he just hates him on principle or something. Katsuki can roll with that – he feels the same way, after all. Then Halfie turns to Deku and raises an eyebrow. Deku’s scribbling in his stupid notebook, but he looks up when he feels Halfie’s eyes on him and smiles encouragingly.

“Your quirk is really amazing!” he says.

“Idiot, he wants to see yours.”

“Oh!” Deku shoves the notebook in his pocket and stands up, putting on that I am concentrating really hard like a fucking nerd face he does whenever he’s doing stuff with his annoyingly amazing quirk. The green lightning runs over his body and then he jumps up into the treetops, bounces from one tree to another a couple times, then jumps back down.

“He kicks stuff really hard, too,” says Kirishima.

Halfie stares at Deku, then looks around at all of them and back at his own hands.

“Did you really not know about your quirk before?” Deku asks. He pats Halfie’s shoulder. “It’s really great!”

Halfie scowls at Deku, which is fair because Deku is fucking annoying. Deku’s smile doesn’t falter, though. He points at Halfie’s hands.

“Quirk,” he says.

Halfie’s scowl deepens, but then he takes a breath.

“Kw-irrk,” he says.

“Yeah, bro!” says Kirishima, beaming and holding out his fist. Halfie jerks back slightly, hand coming up to block, then blinks at the fist when it doesn’t come any closer. Kirishima reaches out and takes Halfie’s hand, still clenched, and bumps it into his own. “Cool!” he says.

Halfie just stares at him for a long moment. Kirishima doesn’t stop smiling.

“Anyway, we should get you back to the dorms,” says Deku. “You must be tired! Oh, I mean – sorry, that was probably insensitive--”

“He can’t understand you, fuck’s sake,” growls Katsuki, levering himself to his feet. Halfie’s attention comes back to him, and the scowl makes a reappearance. Well, fine, Katsuki doesn’t like this asshole either, even if he is hot and also the first person Katsuki’s kissed. Nobody needs to know that except Katsuki, anyway.

Kirishima reaches out a hand and Halfie ignores it and rises to his feet smoothly like he’s in a fucking action movie or something. He frowns at the giant iceberg for a few seconds, until Deku touches his arm.

“We’ll go around,” he says, then points and makes a walking motion with his fingers. “Go.”

“Go,” says Halfie. Then he jabs Deku in the chest with his finger and says something.

“Um,” says Deku, rubbing his chest. “Sorry?”

“Sorr-ee,” says Halfie and nods, then points. “Go.”

“Go,” Deku says, nodding and beaming. He touches Halfie’s arm and then starts walking. Halfie falls in beside him like a fucking – puppy dog or something. Katsuki glares at them.

“You OK, dude?” says Kirishima.

“Hah? Why the fuck wouldn’t I be OK?”

Kirishima shrugs. “Just asking. You look kinda mad.”

“Fuck off, Shitty Hair.” Katsuki shoves his hands in his pockets and starts stalking back to the dorms, watching Halfie’s kimono catch the early morning light as he walks next to the nerd. At least now Deku’s adopted him Katsuki won’t need to be involved in any of that shit any more. Which is fucking great.

Fucking great.

****

It’s still early when they get to the dorms, and no-one’s around yet. Halfie pauses when the building comes into sight, staring.

“That’s where we live,” Deku says. Halfie looks at him, tilting his head like a fucking puppy, and Deku smiles encouragingly and points at himself, Katsuki, and Kirishima, then makes a sleeping gesture with his hands under his head. “Home,” he says.

Halfie just stares. Then he points at the top of the building and makes a gesture with his hands, holding his palm flat above his head.

“Um, hm,” Deku says. “I don’t-- I’m afraid I don’t understand--”

Halfie makes the gesture again, then looks at Kirishima and makes the gesture. He doesn’t look at Katsuki, which is – fucking fine, Katsuki doesn’t want to be looked at, but also fucking irritating because unlike these two idiots, Katsuki actually gets what he’s trying to say.

“It’s tall,” he says. All three of them look at him. Halfie scowls. Katsuki scowls back. “Yeah, it’s a fucking tall building, shit’s moved on since your lazy ass has been sleeping,” he says. “Made of fucking steel girders, you gonna do the gormless hick act with that, too? Gonna be a long fucking day.”

“Dude, kinda harsh,” says Kirishima.

“Who the fuck cares, he can’t understand me.” Katsuki points at the dorm, then repeats Halfie’s gesture. “Tall.”

Halfie stares at him, then turns to look at the nerd, like somehow he doesn’t believe what Katsuki said.

“Tall,” Deku says with a nod.

“Tall,” says Halfie, like a fucking icy-hot asshole.

“Whatever,” growls Katsuki, and pushes past them into the dorm.

****

Deku sits Halfie down at one of the tables. “You must be hungry,” he says. “When’s the last time you ate anything? Oh, haha, I guess it was a really long time ago! I’ll make you something!”

“Idiot,” mutters Katsuki, glaring at Deku as he hurries into the kitchen. Kirishima sits down next to Halfie. Halfie looks around the room like he’s fascinated, but then his gaze lands on Katsuki – slumped on one of the couches – and he scowls.

“Fuck you, too,” says Katsuki, giving him the finger.

Halfie tilts his head on one side and returns the gesture, then turns to Kirishima and shows it to him, too.

“Heh, OK, let’s not do that,” Kirishima says, pushing Halfie’s finger back down. “Bakugou, come on, dude.”

“Whatever.”

“Would you like some tea?” Deku calls from inside the kitchen.

“Tea,” says Kirishima, and points at Halfie then mimes drinking. “Tea?”

Halfie stares at him in silence, then gets to his feet and goes into the kitchen.

“Oh, hi!” comes Deku’s voice. “That’s – oh, I wouldn’t touch that, it can – no that’s – don’t--”

“Fuck’s sake!” Katsuki gets to his feet and stomps over there before Halfie can fuck up the kitchen entirely. “What the fuck are you two doing?”

“Um? Making tea?” squeaks Deku. Halfie has his head in the microwave. Fucking dumbass. Katsuki grabs him by the back of the kimono and hauls him out.

“That’s a death machine, moron,” he says. He’s pretty sure the thing can’t be switched on with the door open, but on the other hand if someone was gonna find a way to microwave his own head, it’d be Doesn’t-even-know-he-has-a-quirk-sama here.

Halfie glares at him and says something short and clipped in his stupid language. Katsuki points at the microwave and draws his finger across his throat. “Death,” he says. “Got it?”

Halfie’s face darkens and Katsuki rolls his eyes. “A-fucking-gain, seriously? I’m not saying I’m gonna kill you, idiot! The fucking microwave-- Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He grabs Halfie’s head, shoves it in the microwave, and says, “This is dangerous! Death! Got it?”

The idiot starts under his hands, jerks back out of the microwave, shoving Katsuki away from him, then staring at him, eyes wide and furious. Then he says something that’s completely incomprehensible but sounds really pissed.

“Agh.” Katsuki throws his hands in the air. “Why don’t you fucking get it? I don’t understand you!”

Halfie’s looking murderous now, fists clenched at his sides. His voice is low and growling and Katsuki’s actually a little distracted because-- Anyway, the point is, he’s pissed, apparently because Katsuki won’t let him microwave his head, which, fuck it, maybe Katsuki actually doesn’t give a shit if he microwaves his head or not. Maybe Katsuki’s done trying to be nice to this growling, glaring, annoyingly hot asshole who can’t even be grateful for five fucking minutes about how Katsuki rescued him from being asleep in a fucking treehouse for the rest of fucking time.

“Fuck you, then,” Katsuki says, shoving past Halfie and out of the kitchen. He doesn’t know what Halfie says in response, but it definitely has the ring of fuck you, too. Then there’s a kind of heavy thud and Deku gasps.

“Oh, are you OK?” he says.

Katsuki curls his lips and keeps stomping away. He doesn’t care about the stupid halfie and his stupid histrionics.

“Shit,” says Kirishima behind him, then, “Bakugou!”

Katsuki pauses. “What?”

“Kinda – need your help here, man.”

Katsuki grits his teeth, takes a deep breath, and turns back to the kitchen. Only to find the halfie on the floor, head in Deku’s lap. Sleeping.

Fucking asshole.

****

The problem is – one of the problems, because fuck knows Katsuki has enough of them – the only way he knows to wake the halfie up is by kissing him. Which would be fine if he was alone – OK, it wouldn’t be fine, it would be fucking annoying, but the point is, if he was alone, he could just kiss the fucker and get it over with and no-one would be any the wiser. But stupid Deku is here, and Kirishima, and Katsuki absolutely is not going to let either of them know what it is that wakes Halfie up, so – they’re stuck.

“He just fucking woke up last time,” he says, standing in the kitchen doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets. At least Halfie’s breathing, which is a big advance on every other time he’s passed out since Katsuki’s known him, which is a lot of times considering he’s known him maybe three hours.

“You didn’t – touch him or something?” Kirishima says. “Maybe you gotta touch him, bro.”

“Deku’s touching him,” Katsuki says. Fucking patting his hair like an asshole. “It’s not doing anything.”

“Maybe we should take him to the nurse.”

Huh. That’s actually not a bad plan. The old hag’ll kiss Halfie, he’ll wake up, and Katsuki can pretend it’s because of her quirk and not because of the kissing. Problem fucking solved.

“Fucking – yeah,” he says, and crouches to pick Halfie up. “Let’s go.”

“Oh, I can take him,” says Deku.

Katsuki shrugs. “I already got him, whatever,” he says, standing up. Halfie’s fucking heavy. Fucking annoying.

“Then let’s go, bro!”

So they go.

****

“You went out to the forest on your own, without telling any adults where you were going.”

Aizawa’s looking bleary, which is pretty fucking standard, and also pissed, which is – actually also fucking standard. Katsuki shrugs.

“I was out anyway,” he says. “Just wanted to check he hadn’t kicked it in the night.”

“And if something had happened to you?”

Katsuki shoves his hands in his pockets. It actually was kind of a stupid stunt, now he thinks about it. “I mean, it was fine,” he mutters.

“Hmph.” Aizawa turns away from him, frowning down at Halfie sleeping on the cot in Recovery Girl’s office. “And the only thing you’ve learned about him is his name?”

“Oh, and his quirk!” says Deku. “Ice and fire!”

Aizawa raises an eyebrow. “Ice and fire?”

Deku looks like he’s about to explode with how excited he is to spill all the details, but then Recovery Girl comes waddling in, peering at Halfie with her head on one side.

“Hm, a sleeping quirk?”

“We’re not sure,” says Aizawa.

“Well!” Recovery Girl pats Halfie’s shoulder, then leans down and kisses him. And…

...nothing happens.

Katsuki waits, because the last few times it’s taken a while for it to work. But Halfie just – keeps on sleeping.

“Hm,” says Recovery Girl.

“What did you do last time?” Aizawa asks.

“Nothing,” Katsuki says. “I didn’t do anything, he just woke up.”

“Maybe we need to take him back into the forest,” says Deku.

“No, fuck that.” Katsuki shudders, thinking about the thick green air and the way Halfie stopped breathing every time his feet touched the floor.

Aizawa sighs and pinches the top of his nose. “Well, he’s fine here for now, anyway. You should all get back to the dorms and get changed before class.”

“Yes, sensei.”

****

“Hey, go on without me,” Katsuki says to Kirishima as they’re passing the toilets near Recovery Girl’s office. “I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

“I can wait,” Kirishima replies.

“Fuck you, like I need an escort,” says Katsuki, which is enough to have Kirishima smiling and shrugging.

“Sure thing, man, see you later!”

Katsuki ducks inside the bathroom, waits until Kirishima’s footsteps have faded outside, then slips out and heads back to Recovery Girl’s office. The old biddy’s just leaving, and Katsuki hides behind the door till she’s gone, then slides inside and closes it behind him.

Halfie’s where they left him, sleeping peacefully on the bed, chest rising and falling slowly. Katsuki stands there for a second, feeling a little winded, like he’s been running, which makes no fucking sense. Then he shakes himself – fuck knows how long before Recovery Girl comes back. He takes a breath and leans down, pressing his lips to the halfie’s. His lips are soft, just like before, half-warm, half-cold, which kinda makes more sense now that Katsuki knows about his stupid overpowered quirk. Katsuki puts his hand on Halfie’s cheek without really thinking about it, pressing a little deeper into the kiss, not really thinking about much except how it feels – definitely not thinking about the fact that Halfie generally wakes up a few seconds after he kisses him. Not, that is, until Halfie shifts under his hands.

Katsuki starts and pulls back. Halfie’s eyes are open, blinking up at Katsuki in confusion. Then his hand goes to his cheek and Katsuki realises – shit – he’s still touching him.

“Shit,” he says, pulling his hand away, but the halfie grabs it and stares at him. “Fuck off, asshole,” says Katsuki. “I was just – whatever.” He snatches his hand away and turns to get the fuck out of there. But the Halfie throws himself forward, grabbing at Katsuki’s arm.

“Hey,” Halfie says, voice deep and angry. “Why do you keep doing this?”

Katsuki pauses, half-turned away, blinking at the doorway. Then he turns back to Halfie and stares at him.

“What – the fuck did you just say?”

Halfie looks – furious, grip tight on Katsuki’s arm. “Is this a joke to you?”

“Hah?” Katsuki says. “What? You – What, you could fucking speak Japanese this whole time? What the fuck?”

“What?” Halfie shakes his head angrily. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Wow, you really are a fucking asshole,” Katsuki says.

“Why can’t you just--” Halfie starts, and then Katsuki wrenches his arm out of Halfie’s grip and suddenly Halfie’s just talking nonsense again.

“Hah?” says Katsuki. “Go back to Japanese, fuck’s sake.”

Halfie makes this kind of frustrated growl and gestures angrily at Katsuki like he’s the one who’s just switched languages for no motherfucking reason.

And then – Katsuki suddenly thinks that maybe – Shit. Maybe he gets it.

“Wait,” he says. He’s thinking back, thinking about – shit. He grabs Halfie’s hand, and Halfie starts to pull it away, but Katsuki tightens his grip.

“You understand this?” he says.

Halfie scowls. “Yeah, of course.”

Katsuki lets go of his hand. “How about now?”

Halfie’s scowl deepens. Then he looks down at Katsuki’s hand. At his own hand. Katsuki sees understanding start to dawn on his face.

“Shit,” says Katsuki. “This is fucking fucked up.”

And Halfie looks like he agrees.

Chapter Text

“OK, this is--” Katsuki starts, but then Halfie grabs his hand and glares at him like somehow it’s his fault that this – stupid fucking thing is happening.

“So you are a wizard,” he says. He sounds kinda pissed, which makes his voice deeper, which – pisses Katsuki off, and it’s annoying enough that it takes Katsuki a couple of seconds of thinking about how annoying Halfie’s voice is before he realises how annoying what he just said is.

“Hah?” Katsuki says. “A what?”

“A wizard,” Halfie says, grip tight on Katsuki’s hand. “I thought you were before but I wasn’t sure.”

“That is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Katsuki says. “A fucking wizard, seriously? This ain’t Dungeons and Dragons, moron.”

Halfie frowns slightly. “Dragons?” he says, and looks around like he thinks a dragon’s gonna jump out from the closet or what the fuck ever.

“Shut up,” Katsuki says. “You’re too stupid to talk.”

Halfie does not shut up. “What kingdom is this?” he says. “Ilkhani? Beyond the desert?”

Katsuki stares at him. “It’s Japan,” he says.

“Shapan?”

OK, this conversation is fucking – ridiculous. “J, idiot, Japan. You know, fucking – Yamato? What’s that old name – Wa? Fucking Japan!”

Halfie stares at him, then looks around, forehead creasing. “How – did I get here?”

“You travelled in your own fucking private bramble thicket, that’s not fucking important,” Katsuki says, even though actually it is kinda important. “You seriously telling me you’ve never heard of Japan?” Even if this guy is somehow from Heian or whatever, he would still know about Japan. Even if he’s from ancient China.

“It must be – a small kingdom,” Halfie says. “Beyond the desert.”

What the fuck is Katsuki supposed to say to something like that? “There’s no fucking desert, Halfie.” But he’s thinking fast, because – OK. Halfie is wearing kimono and geta, so he can’t be from, like, Central Asia or some shit. But whatever language he speaks sure as shit doesn’t sound like Classical Japanese, and Katsuki’s not that hot on Chinese or Korean but it doesn’t sound much like them, either. And then there’s the fucking wizards--

“Sorry,” Halfie says, then turns towards the door, tugging at Katsuki’s hand for him to follow.

“You should be fucking sorry.” Katsuki wrenches his hand out of Halfie’s. Halfie turns sharply and scowls at him. “We’re not fucking holding hands, asshole,” says Katsuki, and then grabs Halfie’s wrist.

“OK, listen,” he says. “Wherever it is you’re from – your fucking kingdom or whatever – shit’s different here. So cool your fucking jets until we can figure this shit out, OK, asshole?”

Halfie stares at him. “Jets?” he says.

“Fuck’s sake,” says Katsuki.

It’s time for reinforcements.

****

When Katsuki and Halfie arrive back at the dorm, Deku’s just entering the common room, dressed in his uniform now. Katsuki’s gonna be late for class, but fuck it, he thinks he has a pretty good excuse.

“Oh, Kacchan! Todoroki!” Deku says. “You woke up!”

“Here,” Katsuki says, letting go of Halfie and shoving him at Deku. “He can understand you if you’re touching him. Not clothes, though, gotta be skin.” He feels a little warm, suddenly, which is weird.

“Oh!” says Deku, and grabs Todoroki’s hand in both of his, beaming up at him. “That’s wonderful! Todoroki, I’ve been thinking – it’s so strange that you have a quirk if you’re from the past, because quirks didn’t evolve until recently, so I thought maybe if we could do a DNA test on you we could figure out--”

“Sorry,” says Halfie.

Deku pauses mid-babble. “What are you sorry about? Oh – if you don’t want to do a DNA test that’s OK. If it’s – against your religion or something.”

“He doesn’t know what a DNA test is, dumbass,” says Katsuki.

Halfie looks from Deku to Katsuki and back, frowning a little. Then he says something in his own language. It’s a little weird, but Katsuki figures that only the person who’s touching him can understand him.

“Oh,” Deku says, and then glances at Katsuki. “How do I understand him?” He turns back to Halfie. “Could you say that again?”

Halfie frowns, says something that includes the word whatever but is otherwise smooth-sounding nonsense, then extracts his hand from Deku’s grip and comes back over to Katsuki, grabbing his hand and interlacing their fingers like an asshole.

“I don’t understand, sorry,” he says, and points at Deku.

“The fuck,” Katsuki says, pulling his hand out of Halfie’s grip and grabbing his wrist instead. “You were touching him, weren’t you?”

“It only works with you,” Halfie says, which is stating the fucking obvious but also Katsuki is not fucking OK with that.

“Shut up,” he says, then looks at Deku, who’s watching them with a worried expression. “Can you understand him when I’m talking to him?”

Deku shakes his head. “Um – I can understand you, but not him. Can – Can you understand him?”

Katsuki glares down at his hand, holding Halfie’s wrist. “Yeah,” he says.

“That’s so interesting,” Deku breathes.

“Fuck off, stupid nerd. Why can’t you understand him?”

“Whatever,” Halfie says.

“Fuck off,” says Katsuki, still glaring at Deku.

Deku pulls out his shitty notebook and starts scribbling. “You were the only one who could go into the vine forest, as well,” he says. “And he only wakes up when you’re with him--”

“Bullshit,” Katsuki says, even though it’s not bullshit, but fuck, he really does not want Deku using his ridiculous nerd powers to figure out what it is that wakes Halfie up.

“Whatever,” says Halfie.

“—so maybe there’s some kind of connection!” Deku says. “Spiritual! A spiritual connection!”

“What the fuck, Deku! I don’t do spiritual, shut the fuck up!”

“Sorry,” says Halfie, and Katsuki turns to him.

“Shut up, what are you even talking about?”

Halfie shoots him a cool glance – not even glaring now, what a fucker – then turns back towards Deku. “Sorry,” he says. “Can you transfer this spell? I think it would work better with you.”

“Hah?” says Katsuki.

“What did he say?” Deku asks. “I only heard sorry.”

“There’s no fucking spell, the fuck are you talking about?”

Halfie turns back to him. “Oh. It’s not your spell? Then another wizard cast it on us?”

“There’s no such thing as fucking wizards!”

“Wizards?”

Well, shit. It being almost time to head to class, the common room is suddenly filling up with extras, and all of them are staring at this goddamn lunatic who’s standing there in his kimono and geta with a fucking sword at his side talking about wizards. Katsuki is having the worst fucking day.

“Oh em gee!” squeals Horns. “The hot guy woke up!”

“Oh, are you OK? I’m Uraraka!”

“Your kimono, it’s truly superbe!”

“Is that a sword?” says Four-Eyes. “Weapons aren’t permitted in the dorms!”

Katsuki’s attention snaps back to Halfie to see he’s dropped into a defensive stance, one hand on the hilt of his sword, scanning the crowd of extras warily.

“Fuck’s sake.” Katsuki tightens his grip on Halfie’s wrist. “They’re harmless. Loud and fucking annoying, but harmless.” He turns to the rest of them. “You fucking extras shut the fuck up, he can’t understand what the fuck you’re saying.”

“They’re your friends?” Halfie asks.

“Fuck, no. Classmates, or whatever.”

Halfie stares at him, then around at the extras, who’ve quietened down and stepped back a little, giving them more space. “You’re their leader?”

Katsuki decides he cannot be fucked to explain the concept of classmates to this idiot. “Fucking – yeah, whatever,” he says. He did stop the chaos, after all. That was pretty fucking leaderly.

“Todoroki is from another dimension!” Deku announces.

And the chaos comes back.

****

“OK, what the fuck,” says Katsuki.

He’s sitting on the couch, Halfie next to him, Katsuki’s hand still wrapped round his wrist. Deku’s opposite, clutching his notebook and practically fucking vibrating. The rest of the extras are hovering, except Kirishima, who was the only person who could get Halfie to let go of his sword hilt during that second round of chaos, and is now sitting next to Deku and smiling encouragingly.

“I was wondering how come he had a quirk,” Deku says, leafing through his notebook, “because if he’s from the past then he shouldn’t have one – they’re a recent evolution. And he didn’t know about them, either, so that was strange. And then--” he taps on the notebook page. “—the magic vines, and the fact that only you can understand him, and the thing about wizards--”

“Magic is bullshit, it’s gotta be some kind of quirk,” says Katsuki.

“Wait, only Kacchan can understand him?” Kaminari says. “Ooh, they have a spiritual connection!”

“Whatever,” says Halfie.

Katsuki – mouth open to tear some strips off fucking Dunce Face – turns to look at him. “What, is that your favourite word?”

“I don’t understand why you keep saying magic doesn’t exist,” Halfie says, blank-faced. “If you’re a wizard, then—”

“I’m not a fucking wizard!”

“Ooh, is he from a dimension with wizards?!? That’s so cool!”

“I think so. You see, with the magic vines--”

“They’re not magic!”

“Whatever, what did sorry say?”

“Hah?” Katsuki turns back to Halfie again, then shakes his head. “This fucking translation thing’s kinda janky.” He shifts his grip on Halfie’s wrist. Maybe that’ll fix the weird grammar.

“Kacchan,” says Dunce Face, “why are you holding Todoroki’s hand?”

Actually, Katsuki is gonna tear some strips off that dumbass after all.

****

That’s about as much progress as they make before Aizawa comes stalking through the main doors.

“Did you all forget you have class?” he says.

Well, fuck. Actually, Katsuki did kinda forget, and it seems like the extras did, too – even Four-Eyes, wow – because there’s a sudden intake of breath and a lot of looking at watches and phones. Aizawa, though, is staring at Halfie.

“He woke up,” he says.

“Sensei! We’re sorry about class, but this is an emergency!” says Four-Eyes.

“Hmph.” Aizawa glares at Halfie, then narrows his eyes, looking at Katsuki’s grip on Halfie’s wrist.

“We can explain,” says Deku.

Aizawa glances around the room. “How many of you?”

“Um.” Deku looks across at Katsuki. Katsuki sneers. Aizawa sighs.

“No surprises there,” he says. “Everybody else, get to class.”

There’s a general flurry, the extras scatter, and Aizawa sits down in the place where Kirishima was before and stares at Halfie. Halfie stares back. Neither of them look very happy.

“So explain,” Aizawa says.

“Well, Todoroki woke up again and he’s talking about wizards, apparently, and I think--”

“Stop,” Aizawa says, holding up a hand. He scowls at Halfie. “So you speak Japanese?”

Halfie looks at Katsuki. Katsuki grits his teeth. Deku looks at Katsuki for a moment, then apparently decides to explain, which is good because it’s fucking hard to talk when your teeth are gritted.

“Um, actually, he can only understand Kacchan,” he says. “And – um, only when Kacchan is touching him. Skin-to-skin.”

Katsuki blows out his breath and drops Halfie’s wrist. “Fuck’s sake, Deku, did you have to say it like that?”

“Oh, sorry! Um, but maybe it’s – skin magic?”

Katsuki feels his eyes start to bulge, but Aizawa raises a hand.

“Magic?”

“Well, he and Kacchan were talking about wizards and a spell--”

“That’s fucking bullshit, I was not talking about that shit! I was just saying it doesn’t exist!”

“—so I think maybe in his dimension magic exists but quirks don’t,” finishes Deku.

There’s a stunned silence.

Halfie grabs Katsuki’s hand. “What did sorry say?”

“Hah? Talk properly! And don’t fucking--” How has this asshole still not got the memo that they’re not fucking holding hands? Katsuki rips his hand away, and Halfie looks mildly perturbed and then puts his hand on the back of Katsuki’s neck, which, what the actual fuck?!?

“I think we need to discuss this with Todoroki,” Aizawa says. “Bakugou, you’ll have to translate.”

And like, Katsuki really wants to fucking refuse, because what the fuck, seriously? But on the other hand, it’s Aizawa, so he can’t exactly tell him to fuck off and die, and he has to admit that it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of other options. But this fucking handsy thing is stopping right fucking now.

“Fucking – fine,” he growls, grabbing Halfie’s wrist and pulling his hand off his neck. “Like this, Halfie, got it? Nothing else.”

“Where are you from?” asks Aizawa.

Katsuki repeats the question, and Halfie says a word that he absolutely cannot pronounce and that makes something in his belly feel kinda weird. Fuck, Halfie’s language is weird. Katsuki kinda wants to let go of his wrist just to hear him say more shit. Which – fuck, that’s stupid, he absolutely does not want to listen to Halfie babbling nonsense, fucking hell.

“He just said the name,” Katsuki says, then clears his throat. “Anyway, some place we’ve never heard of.”

Deku starts scribbling in his notebook. Aizawa nods. “And the language isn’t any I’ve heard before.” He rubs his forehead. “And there are no quirks?”

Katsuki turns to Halfie. “This shit,” he says, popping some tiny explosions. “You don’t have this in – that place where you’re from, right?”

Halfie stares at his palm and frowns. “We have wizards,” he says. “But--” He frowns again, then looks at his own free hand. “I’m not a wizard,” he says. “But my hand caught fire and it didn’t hurt.”

“It’s called a quirk, genius. Everyone has one here.” Katsuki glances sideways at Deku, who flushes slightly. “Almost everyone, anyway. But we don’t have fucking wizards.”

Halfie’s brow creases. “Then how did you cast this spell?” he asks, gesturing at his wrist where Katsuki’s holding it. “Is that – a quirk?”

“Whatever it is, I didn’t fucking do it and when I figure out who did I’m gonna kick their fucking ass,” Katsuki says.

Halfie cocks his head on one side, still staring at where Katsuki’s holding his wrist. “I see.” Then he looks at Aizawa. “This is your king?”

Katsuki chokes a little. “He’s our teacher.”

“Oh.”

“Bakugou,” Aizawa says. “You’re supposed to be translating.”

“Yeah, they have wizards and he doesn’t know what a quirk is.” Which they’d already figured out anyway, so.

“What year is it?” Aizawa asks Halfie.

“The thirteenth year of Asshaajuwa,” says Halfie after Katsuki’s translated, or at least, the last word sounds something like that.

“Some stupid calendar I’ve never fucking heard of,” says Katsuki.

“You’re not very good at translating,” says Halfie.

“You’re not very good at shutting the fuck up.”

Aizawa sighs. “Who’s the ruler of your country?”

Halfie’s face suddenly darkens. “My father, Todoroki Enji,” he says, and now Katsuki chokes a lot.

“The fuck?” he says. This guy’s a literal fucking prince? Katsuki is seriously fucking sick of this fairy-tale bullshit.

“Bakugou?” says Aizawa.

“His fucking dad,” says Katsuki.

Deku looks up, eyes wide, then starts scribbling with even more intensity. Aizawa looks like his already shitty day just got entirely ruined. He pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closes his eyes.

“I’m going to call the police and ask them to check with local mental health services,” he says. “Don’t translate that.”

Deku looks up and frowns. “But sensei, the magic vines--”

Aizawa holds up a hand. “We need to cover all our bases. I’m also going to check with the Musutafu University Quirk Research Department to see if they’ve ever heard of – dimensional travel from – wizardland.” He stares at Halfie, then nods like he’s made a decision. “We can’t just – leave him to wander round campus,” he says. “Bakugou, bring him to class. But he needs to leave the sword behind.”

“Wait, why do I have to babysit him?”

Aizawa raises an eyebrow then looks down at Katsuki’s hand on Halfie’s wrist. Katsuki clenches his jaw.

“Fucking – fine. Halfie, Sensei says you gotta leave the sword.”

Halfie scowls and puts his free hand on the hilt. “How will I defend myself?”

“You don’t need to fucking defend yourself, fuck’s sake.”

“You can tell him that we take good care to protect our students and their – guests.”

“Oh, tell him about the wall around campus!”

Katsuki rolls his eyes. “Did you forget you can set your fucking hand on fire?”

Halfie blinks.

Then he takes off the sword.

****

Katsuki goes upstairs to change and Halfie follows him up, which is fucking annoying, but whatever, at least he isn’t following Deku round like a fucking puppy any more. Not that Katsuki gave a shit about that.

“Stay the fuck outside, weirdo,” Katsuki says when Halfie tries to follow him into his bedroom. He slams the door in Halfie’s face, which is pretty fucking satisfying, then has the quickest shower known to man. He’s halfway through dressing when he hears an annoyingly familiar thud on the other side of the door.

“For fuck’s--” Katsuki says, and flings open the door to reveal: Halfie, lying in a somehow-elegant heap on the floor, sleeping.

“You are such a pain in my ass,” Katsuki says. He checks to make sure no-one’s around, then gets down on his knees. Halfie’s kind of tucked up, face partially buried in the sleeve of his kimono, so Katsuki straddles him and wrestles him round, lifting up his head with one hand on the back. Then he kisses him. He doesn’t even really think about it until he’s doing it, but once he is doing it, he kinda forgets to think about anything else. Halfie’s lips are soft, warm and cool, and Katsuki closes his eyes and opens his mouth a little, flicking his tongue along Halfie’s lips and wondering what it would be like to--

Halfie shifts underneath him and opens his mouth, too, and Katsuki isn’t thinking about anything except Halfie and his soft lips and how much he wants to slip his tongue between them, so he just – does. He meets an answering movement: Halfie’s tongue sliding against his own lips, hot as fucking hell, and then he feels Halfie’s hand, cool on his chest, and then he realises that he’s shirtless, straddling Halfie on the floor in the fucking dorm hallway with his tongue down his throat and fucking holy fuck.

Katsuki lets go of Halfie and shoves him away, lurching to his feet. Halfie blinks up at him, looking a little dazed, which is fucking – fuck, it’s really fucking hot--

Katsuki bolts into his room and slams the door. He puts his back against it for a moment, breathing hard. Then he grabs his shirt and drags it on, buttoning it as fast as possible. He even finds his fucking tie buried in one of his drawers and hastily knots it round his neck. He’s shrugging on his blazer when the door opens and Halfie walks in.

“Who the fuck said you could come in here?” Katsuki croaks – the fuck is wrong with his voice? – and he’s about to kick the bastard the fuck out when Halfie grabs him by the tie and presses his lips over Katsuki’s.

Katsuki’s head is buzzing, vision full of red and white, and when Halfie backs Katsuki up against the wall and grabs his face, Katsuki feels – fuck, he feels so overheated – and also like –

“The fuck, who said you were in charge?” Katsuki says, and spins them round, shoving Halfie up against the wall and grabbing the back of his head, bringing him down that infuriating couple of inches and kissing the fuck out of him and--

Shit.

Katsuki pulls back, pushes Halfie against the wall and stumbles back. Halfie frowns at him and says something in that language that just make Katsuki feel even more like he’s burning up, and Katsuki thinks fuck it and turns, leaving the room as fast as he can while still maintaining some fucking dignity. He hears Halfie coming after him, but he doesn’t look back until Halfie catches up with him on the stairs and grabs his hand.

“What happened?” Halfie asks, voice a little hoarse. “Did I do something wrong?”

Katsuki turns to stare at him. “Wrong?” he says. “You stuck your fucking tongue down my throat!” OK, so it was technically Katsuki who started the tongue-sticking, but he was just trying to break the fucking spell or what the fuck ever, not his fucking fault!

Halfie looks confused. “Yeah,” he says. “You’re attractive. I like kissing you. Although you do shout a lot.”

Katsuki splutters and then just stares. What the fuck is he supposed to say to that?

“So when can we kiss more?” asks Halfie.

“Are you fucking – Never! We’re not – fucking kissing!”

Halfie’s brow creases. “But you kissed me first.”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Yes,” says Halfie, frowning deeper now. “You did.”

“OK – fucking yeah, but that’s just because it’s the only way to get you to wake up!”

Halfie opens his mouth, then stops, mouth half open, staring at Katsuki. Katsuki grinds his teeth.

“You keep passing out like an asshole and nothing wakes you up except me kissing you, so I gotta fucking – kiss you, not like I fucking want to,” he says, trying not to think about how soft Halfie’s lips look right now. “Tell anyone and I'll blast you in the fucking face.”

“Oh,” Halfie says. His expression goes blank. “I see.”

“Yeah, so fucking – never talk to me about this again.”

Halfie doesn’t answer.

But he lets go of Katsuki’s hand.