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The end of their senior year had been a complete whirlwind for the tripod. Danielle's arrival had changed all of their lives, not just Matt's. Yeah, sure, maybe Matt was the one with the smoking hot pornstar girlfriend, but Klitz got to have his dick touched, Eli got to make his directing debut, they all had more money than they really knew what to do with, and technically , they'd all had their first kiss now.
Sure, Klitz's and Eli's were each other, which was… kind of gay. But if Eli didn't think too hard about it, he could still see it as a win. Plus, Klitz was kind of pretty like a girl. The details didn't matter anyway. What did matter was that graduation had been a few hours ago, Danielle had convinced the three boys to go to a party one of their classmates was throwing, and Eli should have felt fucking fantastic , but there he was, feeling like a giant steaming pile of absolute shit.
He knew why, too, which made it worse. Well, he mostly knew why. Guilt. He felt guilty because he should've felt happy for his friends, but in reality, he was angry. Angry that they were both moving across the country for school, angry that they were abandoning him. Sure, he was supposed to be going to school in New York, where they'd at least be closer to each other, but when he changed his mind about film school, that went out the window. Another feeling he was guilty about was Jealousy. Matt was dating a porn star, Klitz basically was a porn star, and Eli was doomed to just his own hands and the memory of a totally not gay kiss with one of his best friends. There were other feelings, one that Eli tried very hard not to think about. Those ones were about Klitz. It didn't matter anyway, all the bad feelings were stacking up into one colossal shit show in his brain, and it was a nightmare. Thank god for the party because Eli was more than ready to drown out his problems with shitty weed and cheap booze.
Eli knew his friends could tell something was up. Still, neither of them had pressed him about it directly, so he was content to let it go entirely unaddressed forever. He could ignore the worried glances for the next three months until they abandoned him.
The party was loud, and typically, Eli would be overwhelmed by the noise, but he was too drunk to care (Of course, in Eli's case, it only took about two drinks). Unfortunately for his friends, that also meant that he was too drunk to care about their personal space, too. He had draped across all three of their laps, with his feet propped on Danielle's thighs and his head on Klitz's. They were having a conversation about something, but Eli wasn't honestly sure what it was about. Instead, he was still wallowing in his own guilt, this time with another layer of anger at himself for not having fun with his friends while he still could. Soon they'd be gone forever, and he was too busy being sad about it to enjoy their time while it lasted.
"Right, Eli?" Klitz's voice breaks him out of his internal spiral for a moment.
"Huh? Sure. Whatever, dude." He replies, and he hears Klitz sigh. He looked up at his friend, seeing a concerned look on his face.
"What has been up with you lately, man? Seriously, you've been super weird." Klitz asked him. Eli shrugged. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Eli actually gave Klitz an actual response.
"I don't know, dude. Guess I'm just not so happy that my friends are out here like, banging hot chicks and leaving me forever while I'm gonna be stuck in the same shitty town, as the same shitty virgin, forever." It came out a little meaner than he meant, and a fresh wave of guilt immediately hit him. He sat up, getting off Matt's lap and refusing to look at his friends. "Fuck. Sorry. I don't know." He felt like he might cry, honestly. So much for alcohol helping his stress.
None of his friends said anything for a minute before Matt finally said something. "... dude, we aren't like, abandoning you. We're coming back during breaks and shit… you were gonna be closer to us, remember? You were the one who changed your mind."
That was really not what Eli wanted to hear. Obviously, he knew that, and he knew he was being stupid. He just shrugged. "...Well. Yeah, I'm not stupid , Matt. I'm just upset. Look, can we forget it? We're at a party. It's supposed to be fun." He could hear how forced it sounded, but he really didn't want to have this conversation while drunk. He sat back down, next to Klitz this time instead of on his friends, and luckily, nobody brought it up again.
The party was mostly painless after that, just a little awkward. When they finally left, Matt was practically falling asleep on Danielle. "You boys okay on your own if I take him home?" She asked, holding Matt with one arm and swinging her car keys in her other hand.
Eli knew that Klitz would confront him again as soon as they were alone, but before he could object, he felt Klitz's hand squeeze his shoulder and heard his voice, "Yep! We're good. Bye guys." Eli sighed at that in defeat and waved at Danielle.
"...Yeah. Bye." He said. Danielle waved at them and half-carried Matt towards her car. Klitz spoke again.
"You wanna just sleep over at my place?" He asked. Eli wanted to say no, but he also didn't want to miss out on any Klitz time. He ignored the other feeling bubbling inside him. The one he didn't want to think about. Instead of answering with words, he just nodded. "Great." Klitz took him by the hand, pulling him towards Klitz's car.
They were both silent until Klitz pulled onto the road, when he spoke up. "... Seriously, what the fuck was all that earlier? It's just me now. You don't have an excuse not to talk about it." Was that what Klitz thought the problem was earlier?! The other people around? He had a point, though. Eli didn't have a real excuse. Especially when whatever was going on in his head involved Klitz, too. He sighed.
"I really don't know, Klitz. Everything I said earlier is basically all of it. I'm just pissy, and I'm gonna fuckin' miss you guys, and I don't know how to deal with it." Klitz nodded but didn't say anything else right away. There was a beat of silence, Eli's stomach twisting in knots. Was Klitz mad at him now..? "Klitz?"
"... Obviously, I'm going to miss you too, Eli. Matt too. And he was right. We're not the ones who changed our plans last minute. It's not really fair to be pissy at us..."
"...Yeah, dude, I know," Eli interjects. Klitz sighs, and then he continues to talk.
"...You can still move, y'know. Be kinda close to us still." Klitz hesitated. "Close to me." The car was quiet for a moment, and Eli felt his face heat up at Klit'z words as another wave of infuriating and hard to ignore feelings about Klitz hit him. Instead of answering, he looked out the window, resting his forehead against the glass. He heard Klitz sigh. "Or I guess you could ignore me…." Eli decided that maybe he would ignore Klitz for the moment. It would be easier than trying to talk, honestly…
A few moments passed in silence. It was enough time for Eli to get a little bit of a grip on himself, at least, before Klitz started to talk again. "...What was the whole virgin thing about anyway? You know I'm still a virgin, too. It's not like you're the only one." Eli cringed internally, looking over at Klitz.
"...That part might've been a little dramatic, sure, but April-" Klitz cut him off.
"April put a condom on me . That absolutely doesn't count." He rolled his eyes. "There was like, barely anything sexual about it. I think watching porn with you has been more sexual."
…Now, what the fuck was that supposed to mean. Eli looked away again as he blushed. "...Whatever, dude. That's fucking gay."
"Yeah, because making your friend watch porn with you is usually such a straight thing to do. You're fucking gay," Klitz retorted. Eli tried to shove down those feelings again, but the tension that filled the car made it difficult. After an awkward pause, Klitz continued. "... I'm joking, Eli."
"Yeah, I know." Eli glanced over at Klitz. Those stupid fucking feelings were getting more and more difficult to ignore. Why was he still bothering at this point anyway? Maybe it was the leftover effects from the booze, or maybe Eli just wanted an excuse to stop being a fucking idiot. "...Would you be freaked out, though? If like. I was a little?" Klitz's expression was unreadable, but Eli saw his grip on the wheel tighten.
"You're one of my best friends, Eli. If you're into guys, that's fine." Klitz glanced over at Eli, and their eyes met for a moment before Klitz returned his focus to driving. They pulled onto his street. "...Are you?" he asked.
Eli took a deep breath, waiting until Klitz was pulled into the driveway to answer. The two boys locked eyes again, and Eli finally replied. "...I think I'm definitely into at least one guy."
The car was quiet. Klitz looked concerned, then confused, before he finally seemed to put it together and stared at Eli, mouth open in surprise. Eli felt ready to combust. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to get out of Klitz's car and just run until he hit the ocean and then keep on running directly into the sea. "That's… That's okay, Eli." Klitz said Finally.
"...What the fuck does that mean?" Eli asked. It's okay? Huh?
"It means maybe I do too." Oh.
"Oh." Eli wasn't sure what else to say. He and Klitz just stared at one another for another moment, and Eli tried to gather his thoughts. He started to speak before he could lose his courage. "Can I-"
At the same time, Klitz said, "Do you-" They both laughed before Klitz continued. "Sorry, you go first."
Eli ignored the anxiety bubbling inside him, and he tried again. "Can I kiss you..?" he asked. He watched Klitz's eyes go wide and his face flush. He nodded, and in an instant, Eli had unbuckled his seatbelt and lunged across the center console, grabbing Klitz's face and pressing their lips together.
It only lasted a second before Eli pulled away. He and Klitz were both grinning, and Eli let out a soft laugh. "Holy shit, dude." He said. Klitz laughed too.
"Yeah. Uh. D'you want to go inside…? That's what I was going to ask before." He said. Eli nodded.
They held hands as they hurried into the house and up to Klitz's room, giggling and smiling at each other. Luckily, Klitz's parents seemed to be asleep, so they didn't have any interruptions as they made their way into his room. Eli kicked off his shoes and then flopped onto the bed as Klitz shut the door. He turned and looked at Eli after, his eyes sweeping over the smaller boy's frame. He blushed lightly, and Eli couldn't help but feel a little bit proud that he could make Klitz blush. It definitely gave him a confidence boost.
"...Klitzy, can we kiss some more?" He asked. Klitz's blush deepened, and Eli grinned.
Klitz responded to him, "...Yeah. That sounds really great." Eli sat up on Klitz's bed and held his arms out for his friend. Klitz hurried over, wasting no time wrapping his arms around Eli and kissing him again. Obviously, it was better than their first kiss before the conference, and it was better than their kiss in the car. After a moment, they broke apart, and Eli rested his forehead against Klitz's. This was really nice. "Eli, do you wanna talk about this..?" Klitz asked. Eli shrugged.
"I mean, I guess that depends. Is talking about it gonna get me in your pants?" Eli asked, and Klitz laughed.
"Dude, shut up! I don't know. Maybe eventually. Do you… wanna make this a thing ?" Klitz sounded nervous, which was insane considering they had been kissing less than a minute ago.
"...Are you asking to be my boyfriend, Klitzy?" It was meant to come off light-hearted and break the tension, but the question seemed to hang between them for a silent moment before Klitz finally responded.
"Is that… Okay? Do you want that?" He asked. Instead of answering, Eli just kissed Klitz again. Klitz kissed him back before pushing him gently away. "...Is that a yes, Eli?" Eli rolled his eyes, grinning.
"Yes. Obviously, Klitz. I would love for you to be my boyfriend." Eli said. "...Hey. D'you still want me to come to Connecticut with you..?" now, he was the one who sounded nervous. Still, the anxiety was quickly squished by Klitz kissing him again before breaking away to grin at him and nod.
" Yes . That would be perfect." He said, still grinning. Eli couldn't help but smile back. He felt giddy. Maybe his life wouldn't end now that high school was over after all.