Work Text:
UPPERMOON CHAT:
Gyokko created - Uppermoon Chat
Gyokko added - Daki, Gyutaro, Hantengu, Akaza, Douma, and Kokushibo
Gyokko gave Kokushibo - Admin
Gyokko left - bye bye!
Akaza: The fuck
Akaza: He did not just make this chat then leave
Douma changed their name to - Vanilla Ice Ice
Vanilla Ice Ice: I don't know Akaza-Dono, I think this chat is a fantastic idea!
Akaza: That's not why I'm mad
Akaza: He literally left without explaining
Akaza: Change your name back
Vanilla Ice Ice: Sorry Akaza-Dono, but I like this name *pouts*
Akaza: EW EW YOU DID NOT JUST USE ASTERISKS
Vanilla Ice Ice: What's wrong, Akaza-Dono?
Akaza: I hate your grammar
Hantengu: me too
Vanilla Ice Ice: That's rude. *cries*
Vanilla Ice Ice: Oh! Hello Hantengu-Dono!
Hantengu: fuck you
Daki: looks like rage has da phone 2day
Hantengu left - Bye bye!
Daki: oop
Daki changed their name to - Takis
Takis: hehe
Akaza: Good lord not you too
Akaza: Kokushibo save me
Vanilla Ice Ice: I don't think Kokushibo-Dono is online, Akaza-Dono.
Akaza: No shit, Sherlock
Vanilla Ice Ice: Who is Sherlock?
Takis: lol rip ur an idiot
Akaza: You're no better
Gyutaro: shut up
Akaza: Fight me if you're angry about it
Gyutaro: fuck you
Vanilla Ice Ice: *eyes*
Akaza: Douma I will disembowel you
Vanilla Ice Ice: Rude,,,,
Kokushibo changed Akaza's name to - Ungrateful Child
Ungrateful Child: The fuck
Ungrateful Child: YOU ARE ONLINE
Ungrateful Child: YOU BASTARD
Kokushibo added - Kaigaku and Nakime
Kokushibo changed Kaigaku's name to - Koku's Son
Kokushibo changed Nakime's name to - Ass Kisser
Ass Kisser sent an audio! - Biwa.Mp3
Ass Kisser left - Bye bye!
Koku's Son: Why
Koku's Son: Why am I your son
Kokushibo: I picked you up and decided you looked like my former children so I adopted you...
Koku's Son: Not legally though
Kokushibo: Muzan-Sama said okay to me adopting you...
Koku's Son: Fuck
Kokushibo: Muzan-Sama's word is law...
Vanilla Ice Ice: This is adorable!
Gyutaro: this implies Kokushibo approached Muzan about something non spider lily related and didn't die
Ungrateful Child: Maybe Kokushibo's name should be Ass Kisser instead
Ungrateful Child: Wait
Ungrateful Child: Why does my name involve children
Ungrateful Child: I'm not a kid
Kokushibo: You're correct you aren't a kid...
Kokushibo changed Ungrateful Child's name to - Ungrateful Baby
Kokushibo: You're an infant...
Takis: brooooo koku is slaying rn
Takis: u go qween
Ungrateful Baby: I hate you all
Ungrateful Baby: Daki your typing is worst than Douma's it's bothering me
Gyutaro: I'll punch you for that
Koku's Son: Talking about Douma
Koku's Son: He hasn't talked for a whil
Koku's Son: e
Takis: he can't even finish his sentence hah loser
Kokushibo: Daki...
Takis: sry
Kokushibo: ?...
Takis: i said sry
Kokushibo: ??...
Ungrateful Baby: She says she's sorry
Takis: yeh
Kokushibo: Oh...
Ungrateful Baby: Can you stop with the unnecessary ellipses?
Ungrateful Baby: Wait
Ungrateful Baby: Ellipses or ellipsis?
Kokushibo: Ellipses is plural ellipsis is singular...
Kokushibo: And no, I will not, I like them...
Takis: da fuck is an ellipsis
Gyutaro: the "..." Kokushibo is doing
Takis: damn
Takis: i thot those were called dot dot dots
Gyutaro: please don't say thot
Gyutaro: it doesn't mean what you think it does
Koku's Son: Okay but seriously where is Douma
Koku's Son: Douma is never silent I'm concerned
Kokushibo: Don't worry son he'll be okay...
Ungrateful Baby: I've watched Douma eat a brick before
Ungrateful Baby: Just because he goes silent doesn't mean he's dead
Ungrateful Baby: It just means he's doing something stupid
Koku's Son: ...
Koku's Son: Now I'm even more worried
Gyutaro: like father like son
Koku's Son: ?
Gyutaro: you did the ellipsis
Gyutaro: and now you're doing the question mark thing too
Koku's Son: Oh no
Koku's Son: He's rubbing off on me
Koku's Son: Soon I'll be a seven foot tall swordsman with six eyes and zero social skills
Kokushibo: :'( ...
Ungrateful Baby: Am I going mental
Ungrateful Baby: Why was that cute
Gyutaro: are you alright Akaza?
Ungrateful Baby: No
Takis: mayB ur pregnant
Takis: da oiran say that pregnant ppl are more emotional n stuff
Ungrateful Baby: Double no
Ungrateful Baby: How would I get pregnant anyways?
Gyutaro: you see when a man and a women love each other very much
Kokushibo: Please don't talk about reproduction in front of my son...
Kokushibo: Or Daki for that matter...
Gyutaro: oh
Gyutaro: you're right sorry Kokushibo
Kokushibo: Forgiven...
Koku's Son: Hey if Akaza's pregnant who's the father?
Ungrateful Baby: I'm not pregnant
Gyutaro: stop denying the truth
Takis: ur just pissed ur gonna get fat
Ungrateful Baby: DUDE
Ungrateful Baby: I'M NOT PREGNANT
Ungrateful Baby: AND I'M NOT GETTING FAT
Koku's Son: Daki caught in 4k body shaming Akaza
Koku's Son: Cancelled
Takis: im gonna fake cry in my apology vid and get a ton of pity pts ill b fine
Kokushibo: I'm very confused...
Gyutaro: is Douma the father
Ungrateful Baby: WTF EW NO
Gyutaro: it'd explain why he disappeared
Gyutaro: he's too busy fondling your baby bump to text
Ungrateful Baby: Douma's not the only one getting his jaw flung off next meeting
Gyutaro: that a threat?
Ungrateful Baby: Yes it is
Gyutaro: i'm not scared of a pregnant guy
Kokushibo changed Ungrateful Baby's name to - Pregnant Guy
Pregnant Guy: Why am I the one getting bullied
Pregnant Guy: Bully Gyutaro or something
Kokushibo: ...
Kokushibo changed Gyutaro's name to - Handsome Boy
Handsome Boy: I've never felt this happy before omg
Handsome Boy: Kokushibo thinks I'm handsome
Pregnant Guy: I fucking give up
Kokushibo changed Vanilla Ice Ice's name to - Baby Daddy
Pregnant Guy: NO
Pregnany Guy: KOKUSHIBO I LOVE YOU BUT I SWEAR TO GOD
Handsome Boy: woah
Koku's Son: It's a love scandal
Koku's Son: Akaza is in love with Kokushibo, but is pregnant with Douma's child
Takis: omg lol what if koku was in love w/ douma
Takis: itd be a love triangle
Handsome Boy: homosexual upper three love triangle
Kokushibo: (°////°) ...
Pregnant Guy: AYO WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING
Pregnant Guy: YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY LOVE DOUMA
Pregnant Guy: THE GUY'S DEMENTED
Kokushibo: I kill and eat people I don't care about demented...
Handsome Boy: wait
Handsome Boy: Kokushibo did you just confirm that you love Douma
Kokushibo: No I only confirmed that I don't care that he's demented...
Koku's Son: I'm pretty sure that was a confession though
Kokushibo: Son don't make me take away your sword...
Koku's Son: Sorry
Kokushibo: Apology accepted...
Pregnant Guy: Kokushibo you forgive too easy
Kokushibo: No I don't...
Baby Daddy: Akaza-Dono why are you in my window?
Baby Daddy sent an image! - AkazaClimbingThroughWindow.PNG
Koku's Son: Oh thank God you're alive
Koku's Son: I was worried
Baby Daddy: Thank you, Kaigaku-Dono!
Handsome Boy: ayo wait why is Akaza in your window
Baby Daddy: I don't know Gyutaro-Dono, that's why I asked!
Pregnant Guy: Surveillance
Pregnant Guy: Also how do you know who is who?
Pregnant Guy: Our names have changed multiple times since you last messaged
Baby Daddy: I've been halfway watching the chat, Akaza-Dono! A man came in so I had to at least pretend I was paying attention to him so I couldn't respond, however! How sad!
Handsome Boy: so you know Kokushibo loves you
Baby Daddy: No, I appeared to have missed that, thank you for the enlightenment, Gyutaro-Dono!
Kokushibo: (>////<) ...
Pregnant Guy: I'm not weird the emoticons are cute, right?
Baby Daddy: They really are adorable, Akaza-Dono!
Pregnant Guy: Your opinion doesn't count
Baby Daddy: Quite rude of you, Akaza-Dono!
Baby Daddy: And I love you too, Kokushibo-Dono!
Kokushibo: I
Kokushibo: I
Kokushibo: ...
Koku's Son: I just heard Kokushibo scream in the distance
Handsome Boy: Kokushibo's crush confirmed
Handsome Boy: it appears Kokushibo likes blonde guys with raindow eyes
Baby Daddy: Actually my hair is silver!
Pregnant Guy: What the fuck
Pregnant Guy: No it isn't
Baby Daddy: It is! I was born silver haired but the blood that stained the top of my head turned the silver blonde!
Pregnant Guy: That's not how that works
Baby Daddy: Inform my hair of that then, Akaza-Dono!
Pregnant Guy: I'm literally in your house don't sass me
Handsome Boy: Akaza the pregnant stalker
Pregnant Guy: I'm not pregnant I'm fucking telling you
Handsome Boy: and I'm telling you I don't buy it
Takis: douma confirm akazas prego pls
Baby Daddy: I can neither confirm nor deny Akaza-Dono's pregnancy!
Baby Daddy: Though I can say I've always liked the name Kotoha for a girl!
Pregnant Guy: Hell no if it's a girl she'll be named Koyuki
Koku's Son: AYO CONFIRMED
Koku's Son: HE'S ALREADY CHOSEN BABY NAMES HE IS PREGNANT
Pregnant Guy: NO FUCK YOU
Kokushibo: AKAZA DON'T SWEAR AT MY SON...
Takis: koku is scary like that
Handsome Boy: scary like what
Takis: caps lock + da dot dot dot thingy
Kokushibo: Ellipsis...
Takis: whtvr
Kokushibo: ?...
Pregnant Guy: Whatever
Kokushibo: Oh...
Koku's Son: You really can't understand shorthand huh?
Kokushibo: Correct...
Takis: anti koku code
Pregnant Guy: Kokushibo why are you the only one with a normal name
Handsome Boy: true
Kokushibo: ...
Kokushibo changed their name to -
Handsome Boy: changed his name to what?
: To nothing...
Pregnant Guy: AYO YOU CAN DO THAT?
: Apparently...
Pregnant Guy: Wait
Pregnant Guy changed their name to -
: Wow...
: Copycat...
: Incorrect, you are the copycat...
: No, you are...
Baby Daddy: Oh my! Who is Akaza-Dono and who is Kokushibo-Dono?
: I'm Kokushibo...
: No, I am...
changed 's name to - Not Kokushibo
Not Kokushibo: Damn you
: Honestly you should know better than to impersonate me...
: It was childish...
Not Kokushibo: Says the guy with no name
: My non-name isn't childish >:( ...
Not Kokushibo: Did you use the little face to try and win me over
: Maybe, is it working? :0 ...
Not Kokushibo: Yes.
: ;) ...
Not Kokushibo: Sneaky bastard
Baby Daddy: That was rude of you Akaza-Dono!
Koku's Son: Yeah, apologize to dad!
Handsome Boy: woah Kaigaku's really warming up to the dad thing
Koku's Son: I'm currently sitting on his lap like I'm five it's weird
Takis: wowie
Takis: koku is daddy real
Handsome Boy: please don't word it like that
Takis: i know what im doing
Baby Daddy: Kokushibo-Dono, can I sit on your lap too?
: Sure...
changed their name to - Dad
Dad: :) ...
Baby Daddy: Finally! A father who will not cheat on my mother nor get murdered in front of seven year old me by said mother!
Handsome Boy: Douma are you alright
Baby Daddy: Probably not!
Baby Daddy: You won't do that though, right Kokushibo-Dono?
Baby Daddy: Right?
Dad: ...
Baby Daddy: Kokushibo-Dono?
Dad: ...
Baby Daddy: KOKUSHIBO-DONO?
Not Kokushibo: Douma you look stupid right now
Baby Daddy: What?
Not Kokushibo: I can see you
Not Kokushibo: And your hat is about to fall off
Handsome Boy: more stalker Akaza
Not Kokushibo: Never mind it just fell off
Takis: rip doumas hat
Dad: Floor hat...
Not Kokushibo: The way you wrote that was oddly wholesome
Handsome Boy: yeah Akaza is head over heels for dilf man
Baby Daddy: Dilf?
Takis: sexy dad
Baby Daddy: I think I'd prefer not knowing the meaning of that.
Takis: 2 late lol
Handsome Boy: you're going to be a dilf soon, Douma
Takis: tru
Dad: Douma the soon to be dilf...
Koku's Son: That sounds about right
Not Kokushibo: No he's not
Not Kokushibo: Because I'm not pregnant
Takis: cap
Dad: I want to meet my grandchild, Akaza...
Baby Daddy: I want to meet my child, Akaza-Dono!
Not Kokushibo: Am I going to have to kidnap and raise a human baby so you guys will leave me alone
Handsome Boy: yep
Baby Daddy: Please, Akaza-Dono?
Not Kokushibo: Aight I'll be back in a bit
Takis: hes gonna actually do it
Dad: Oh my...
Baby Daddy: At least I'll have a daughter!
Baby Daddy: Or son for that matter!
Dad: I can't believe you all convinced him to kidnap a child...
Koku's Son: You're no better, dad
Handsome Boy: Kokushibo the hypocritical kidnapper
Dad: If Akaza was here he'd defend me...
Takis: bcuz hes also a kidnapper
Takis: and in love w/ u
Not Kokushibo: Back
Baby Daddy: FSCASVSVDASFV AAAAA
Dad: Is Douma having a stroke...
Handsome Boy: no he's just very excited
Not Kokushibo: Douma's crying again
Not Kokushibo sent an image - DoumaCryingWhileHoldingABaby.PNG
Takis: he actually did it
Koku's Son: Okay but Douma looks like he's held a baby before
Handsome Boy: how do you know?
Koku's Son: He's supporting the kid's head and body properly
Koku's Son: I expected him to hold the kid under the armpits
Dad: Correct, Douma is taking real good care of the child...
Takis: whats the babys name
Not Kokushibo: Daisuke, he's a kid from Douma's weird ass cult
Handsome Boy: you stole one of Douma's cult babies?
Not Kokushibo: Yep
Dad: I assume it'd be easier to steal from there as you were already there and the people trust Douma...
Not Kokushibo: They trust me too
Handsome Boy: that implies that you go to his cult often enough that the cultists recognize you
Takis: bcuz he & douma have a kid
Takis: he needs 2 go see his kid sometimes
Dad: I understood none of that...
Koku's Son: It's okay you didn't need to
Dad: If you say so...
Koku's Son: I do say so
Dad: ?
Takis: u confused him again
Takis: rip
Dad: That's it I'm leaving nope no more...
~Dad is offline~
Not Kokushibo: Wait it announces when someone goes offline
~Not Kokushibo is offline~
Baby Daddy: How cool!
~Baby Daddy is offline~
Handsome Boy: well then
Takis: im gonna go eat some1 rq brb
~Takis is offline~
~Handsome Boy is offline~