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It started small, as many things do.
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“You’re Kaedehara Kazuha, right?”
The man in question lifted his head at the mention of his name, catching the sight of a stranger with strange, fluffy ears standing in front of him. Despite Kazuha’s somewhat defensive stance of tightening his grip on his luggage, the young man before him laughed light-heartedly. It seemed as if he was expecting such a response, else he was just being polite. “Hah, sorry if I sounded abrupt back there. My name is Gorou.”
The snow-haired man tilted his head. “Gorou Inuki?” He gingerly asked.
“Yup, that’s me.” Gorou brightly smiled at him, and in that instant, it felt as if Kazuha was standing in the sun’s golden rays. Something about this young man exuded warmth, and that was telling for someone like Kazuha, the one with a reputation of having a sixth sense buried in him somewhere. “Sorry for being a little late. I got caught up with dropping my younger sister off at a friend’s place, so I had to make a detour to come and pick you up.”
“It’s not a problem at all.” Kazuha replied, finally standing up from the airport seat and even smiling a little in spite of his fatigue. It had been quite a long flight from his homeland to the island. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“I suppose I didn’t talk much about my family in the application, huh?” Gorou sheepishly smiled. His teal eyes brightened a little as Kazuha passed him his luggage to wheel across the floor while they walked to the car park. “Not like the application would have a lot of space anyway. I have, quite a few siblings.”
“Oh?” Coming from a family with no siblings, Kazuha’s interest was piqued. “How many?”
“Let’s just say that my name is a big hint.”
The other man glanced at him quizzically. “Your… name?”
‘Gorou’... Gorou… Go-rou…
“ … Fifth… Son?” Kazuha absentmindedly thought aloud, sending Gorou into an enthusiastic nod. “Yep! I’m the fifth son in my family. My younger sister, Nana, is the seventh child, too.”
Kazuha couldn’t help but comment bluntly. “Your parents don’t like to make meaningful names, do they?”
Perhaps it was due to his tiredness that Kazuha took a while to internalize how rude that sounded, but before he could take those words back, Gorou had already begun his reply. “I suppose they don’t. They’ve never been one to complicate things, you know? Whereas my older siblings tend to be detailed all the time… It’s almost as if we’re not their kids at all.”
Somehow, Kazuha did not find that strange. Not when he had been estranged from his family himself for a few years, but he certainly wasn’t going to tell Gorou that. He hadn’t told anyone about his familial situation, not even when the university asked for it, because he definitely wasn’t going to subject anyone to that mess of a topic.
Instead, he said. “I guess I’ll get to know them too in the end, if we’re all going to live together.”
Now it was Gorou’s turn to tilt his head. “Um, my parents don’t really live with me. Not in the university’s dorms, anyway.”
It was as if a ‘wake-up’ switch was flipped in his head. “ … Ah.”
Gorou laughed again, though this time it was more of a giggle, like how a cheeky child would laugh after pointing out a slip in their parents’ words. “How long was that flight? It must have been quite a trip if that meant you forgot something so important.”
There was a short beat before Gorou added. “I did not mean that in a mean way, by the way. I just wanted to uh… you know, break the ice and all.”
Kazuha chuckled in amusement, nodding his head in acknowledgment. Perhaps this new experience of living abroad at university would not be so nerve-wracking after all. Not when his new roommate seemed to be a young man who had the maturity of an older brother, and the playfulness of a small boy.
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It only took twenty minutes for any homesickness Kazuha was feeling to flow away.
Despite Gorou’s youthful appearance and alleged ‘inexperience with guests’, he had been the most experienced host that Kazuha has ever met. Throughout the drive to the university’s dormitory, the canine hybrid had been pleasantly entertaining him with stories about Bourou’s history as a small fishing village from the past to the small town that it was now, along with many fun tidbits and tales of his antics with his siblings. Even though he was the fifth child of his family, Gorou was in fact the youngest son, oftentimes being a protective older brother for his two sisters, Kiroku and Nana, alone. Needless to say that the ride to their residence was far from boring, even to the point where Kazuha was looking forward to their next one.
After stepping into their unit together, Kazuha was equally surprised to hear that Gorou had only moved in the day before, thus explaining why their shared bedroom was still in a bit of a mess. It was quite a nice unit they had; a shared bedroom, a study, a bathroom and a small kitchen area that functioned as a dining room, to be precise. If anyone had walked into the building with a blindfold on, and thus oblivious to the school compound they had just walked by, they would have mistook it for a small studio apartment.
Kazuha would have pointed that out if it weren’t for the countless hours of lost sleep catching up to him.
“You’re feeling a little jet lagged yet?” Gorou had joked while lifting the extra luggage to the bedroom. “You can go ahead and take a nap on your bed if you want. I’ll be out to get some groceries.”
“No, it’s alright.” Kazuha politely offered after staring at the clock. Taking a nap in the late morning would surely screw with his body clock if he was trying to adapt to the timezone here. “If I don’t get used to the time now, I won’t be able to wake up for orientation tomorrow.”
“Fair enough, but still…” Gorou scrunched up his nose. “Can’t believe they’re expecting us to arrive at our dorms right before school starts. I’m probably not in the proper place to judge, since I don’t have to get used to all that jetlag, but still. They wouldn’t give me the keys before you guys arrived either.”
“I suppose they’re expecting most of the local students to pair up with other locals instead of scholars.” The pale-haired man pardoned while taking a small stroll around the pantry. “Which begs the question, why didn’t you do the same thing?”
Gorou shrugged. “Meh, I more or less know everyone here. And besides, I’m excited to be roommates with someone new.”
Kazuha brightened up at his reply. Gorou’s enthusiasm was surprisingly contagious. “Well then, I’m rather excited to be roommates with you too.”
“Hehe, can’t wait! Now let’s get some food!”
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A mere month into their school life together, and Kazuha’s gut feeling of something going haywire had been thoroughly proven very wrong.
Gorou truly was, in every way Kazuha could think of, the best roommate he could ever have. Since they were studying different majors, there would never be a time when one of them needed the study room at the same time. Even during the weekends, Gorou was gracious enough to offer Kazuha the peace and quiet he needed for his literary studies, while he was perfectly fine writing general papers on the dining table (of course, this constancy eventually came to a stop after Kazuha proposed a roster instead of him hogging the study all the time, which Gorou came to agree with).
That wasn’t the end to their differences, either. While Kazuha was incredibly particular about details regarding the amount of money they split for food and supplies, Gorou was much more laid back, insisting that he could handle all the expenses on groceries and insisting that Kazuha saved his money for more indulgent things that he could bring back home to treasure after their school years were over. While Kazuha preferred well-cooked meals with precise timings and seasonings, Gorou was more liberal with his cooking, often trying to experiment with simple but delicious recipes. While Kazuha was a night owl and a poor early riser, Gorou often slept early and woke up at the butt crack of dawn. While Kazuha tended to wear warm-colored clothes of red and brown, Gorou opted for cool shades of teal, blue and green (and that had unfortunately led them to decide on different laundry days for themselves after one… unique incident).
They were as contrasting as night and day, and yet despite those outstanding differences, Kazuha and Gorou had grown fairly close.
For one, it was a triumph that Kazuha got Gorou to start constructing haikus like the ones he fashioned when he was younger. He surprisingly had a hidden talent for weaving words together beautifully, and Kazuha was more than excited to share this interest with him. His excitement was soon returned over their newfound guilty pleasure of eating sweets together. Sometimes, they would race to the cafe downtown just to see who would have to pay for the other’s expenses of cakes and sweet teas.
Often, their schedules would give them a chance to eat together at lunch, where they would share their anecdotes of the day, sometimes bringing a friend from class together with them which slowly lead to a tightly-knitted group of friends. Kazuha could barely count the nights when they would talk to each other until they slept, chatting about their other similar interests in movies, cultures, plants, and even dogs. (“Look, I get that me being part-dog means that I naturally should resonate with them, but even Saburou doesn’t like them that much-hey, Kazuha, stop laughing at me!!”)
Not to mention the few stressful afternoons where one of them would witness the other barging into their bedroom and faceplanting themselves on their bed, mumbling about cursed group work or a foul paper that was submitted late due to internet connectivity issues. Or even about family, in Gorou’s case, to which while Kazuha could not relate, he was kind enough to bring Gorou a mug of hot chocolate and calm him down.
They were having a splendid semester together, despite all the deadlines and stress catching up to them. Though unfortunately, that was only the calm before the storm.
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It was just around the beginning of the fifth week, close to midterms, when Kazuha got an unexpected string of texts from his estranged father.
He had not told Gorou about his family, though his guilt always bugged him when Gorou would share about his wacky ‘pack’ and Kazuha would offer nothing to relay back. Of course, Gorou, being the nicest person Kazuha knew, had never once pointed this out, but Kazuha was thoroughly convinced that he was simply being polite. Yet when he received that text from his distanced parent, detailing how he could ‘reclaim his lost pride’ by returning home and forgetting about this ‘godforsaken career path’, Kazuha was decidedly having a hard time keeping it in. Of all the people that held him back from his desired choice, his parents were ironically the most insistent at discouraging him. Kazuha could recall the times they would push for his high school days to be geared towards ‘something more useful’ that could benefit their son in the long run, as they tried to persuade him to take medical pathways that led him to hospital jobs with higher pay than a ‘lowly writer with a fluctuating market’.
The fact that they were present when Kazuha lost a dear friend in a hospital at a young age, the experience forever scarring him from ever stepping into the building ever again, certainly did not ameliorate their case of being uncaring parents, either.
And neither did their numerous fights at night, or the number of times when Kazuha was forbidden to visit friends out of consideration to study for his alleged medical degree, or when he was pulled out of class trips and parties purely for his (parents’) interest in a degree that they would benefit from when flaunting it at social gatherings when they retire.
By now, it was clear to their group of school friends that Kazuha had a deeply rooted sixth sense somewhere in him, given that in some way, he would always know the queerest of things. Examples include the exact digits for the current time, the exact weather forecast for the week, whether someone was truly lying or being genuine, and many more under that list. Unfortunately, this had left him to be awfully perceptive of Gorou huddling over him the whole week, trying to figure out why Kazuha was ‘acting off’ in and out of their lectures and lunchtimes.
“Gorou, I’m alright, honest.” The literary scholar insisted during the afternoon after feeling his roommate eyeing him for quite some time. “I’m not too cold, or too hot. I’m not hungry or thirsty or sleepy, either, really!”
Gorou remained unconvinced. “You usually never justify such things…” He dutifully noted, his perceptiveness almost paralleling Kazuha’s. “It’s okay if you want to talk about it, you know? I won’t judge you.”
Kazuha continued to shake his head. “It’s not a big deal, honestly.” He said, ignoring the pulse in his chest that was begging, screaming for him to just spit it out of his system. He mentally cursed the nights when he bottled up the more severe anxiety episodes that he had, all out of not wanting to worry Gorou more than he had to. They both couldn’t afford to worry about this now anyway, not when their midterms were so near.
“Are you… really sure?”
“Yes, I am.”
“100 percent?”
Kazuha would chuckle at how endearing Gorou looked right now, his brows furrowed into a worried expression, lips pursed to form a pouty face, and his well-groomed, fluffy tail occasionally tapping the sofa where he was sitting while Kazuha was standing up at the dining table. He would have chuckled at such a sight.
But he couldn’t.
Because in the greatest form of betrayal, his body had decided that it had enough of the plight it was experiencing. Because in contrast to his insistence earlier, Kazuha was indeed feeling too tired from days of restless late nights of sleep, and days of skipping meals to study harder. The consequences of his actions were finally catching up to him, rendering his body useless in maintaining a warm inner temperature to combat the cool air from the rain outside, and him being far too stubborn to admit that he needed to cry.
To make matters worse, it just so happened that Kazuha needed to collect his computer’s charger from his bedroom, and just as he stood up, his knees nearly collapsed.
Gorou had immediately sprung into action, rushing to Kazuha’s side and protecting him from hurting himself on the sharper edges of the table as Kazuha unceremoniously crumbled to the ice-cold tiled floor. Nature seemed to agree with his state of mind as well, seeing that the rain outside grew heavier while Kazuha unknowingly leaned against Gorou’s chest.
“Kazuha…?” He softly muttered, sounding concerned and slightly scared. It was probably at this distance that he could finally tell how dark his roommate’s eyebags were, which led to the next question, “How many hours of sleep have you had for the past week?”
He didn’t want to answer, but knowing Gorou’s persistence, he was probably going to find out eventually. “I think around… 7 hours?” He replied meekly after a moment of thinking.
“Per night?”
“ … In total.”
Gorou widened his eyes, clearly flabbergasted with the shocking number. Kazuha was almost regretful of how he gave it away so quickly, as if Gorou had coaxed out the answer from him without even trying.
But instead of being met with excessive pity that felt fake (he had his lovely parents for embedding that image in his memories), Kazuha was met with warmth. Specifically, Gorou’s warmth, as he cradled Kazuha’s head closer to his chest, a hand gently patting his shoulder as he wrapped his other arm around his chest.
It took Kazuha a full minute and a half to register that Gorou was giving him a hug. That was saying something, given that Gorou had hugged him plenty of times before during more joyous occasions. Like whenever one of them aced a test, or cinched that desperately battled ‘A’ grade on a project. Even the most trivial of moments would cue Gorou to playfully brush his shoulder against Kazuha’s in lieu of a hug.
Very rarely had Kazuha experienced such a hug like this one, with Gorou’s arms coiled around his figure so protectively and gently. The soft tone of his voice felt awfully unfamiliar as well. “You… You don’t have to tell me about it, if you’re not ready.”
How could he say that so simply? If his roommate had been this insistent on uncovering Kazuha’s lack of self-care, then surely he would want to know more about the reason why, wouldn’t he? Yet despite the logic in that reasoning, Kazuha couldn’t turn away from Gorou’s troubled eyes, the cold in his heart ebbing away as he admired the beauty in those teal orbs. Were they always this gorgeous up close?
He didn’t have a lot of time to think about an answer, until he finally broke down and poured his emotions out in the form of tears.
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The night of midterm stress, as Gorou liked to unceremoniously call it, became the first of many more that came as the next semester flew past them.
After that fateful evening when Kazuha finally opened up about his situation to the only close comrade he knew, it was the mark of a new lifestyle for him, one that felt new and refreshing as opposed to the closed-off nature he had adopted before. Nowadays, it was much more commonplace for either of them to be found on the sofa during their bad days, maybe hugging a pillow or plushie to quell their sad thoughts as the other fetched some drinks from their fridge to share some swigs and rambles. At first, their limit had been for juices and sodas, but after Gorou had (daringly) swiped some cans of alcohol-infused beverages right under their resident assistances’ noses, it gradually became their preferred drink of choice. Sometimes, Kazuha couldn’t tell if he should reprimand or admire his roommate’s disregard for the rules, but something about doing it with him in secret certainly sparked a small bubble of excitement in his stomach.
And as the days went by, Kazuha soon realized the feeling was becoming much more frequent. Especially when he was around the young man he had begun to regard him as a true companion, rather than just a roommate. They had just spent two semesters together, almost a full year, and it was fairly clear that Kazuha was looking forward to spending many more school terms with Gorou. It wasn’t the case of Gorou being a ‘picture perfect’ roommate, not when both of them had their fair shares of causing mayhem in their dorm. And it certainly wasn’t due to obligation that forced Kazuha to ‘deal with Gorou’ for the next few years he was going to be there.
It was just the idea that it was Gorou sharing those memories with him. That it was Gorou who would bear witness to his strengths and vulnerabilities. That it was Gorou by the sheer power of personality alone that made the scholar gravitate towards the dog-eared boy.
It wasn’t long until he realized; Kazuha was nothing else but absolutely enamored of him.
He wasn’t a stranger to love; even though he grew up with restrictive parents, Kazuha had his fair share of romances throughout high school. The only shame was that most of them lasted for too little time before he was yanked away from committing any greater effort into his relationships, leading to most of them unfortunately falling away. In that same fashion, he had pondered before, it was a miracle that none of those breakups had led to further bad blood, either, since they often ended amicably and without regrets.
That being said, it was probably more accurate to say that Kazuha wasn’t a stranger to love with short lifespans.
And that was certainly not what he wanted to have with Gorou. No, he didn’t want to live through a mere few weeks or heaven forbid, only a month of being in a relationship with the bubbly, caring boy. He didn’t want his schoolwork or even his new ambitions to block him from pursuing Gorou, not if he could help it, anyway.
For once in his life, Kazuha yearned for more than ‘just a boyfriend’ when it came to someone such as his roommate. Perhaps it was the level of intimacy they were already sharing, however low it was right now, that convinced him that they could be more. The past few months had featured enough physical contact, anyway, what with how often they bumped fists when accomplishing a task together, or how closely they would brush their shoulders together while taking train rides to busy cities across the water. Their late-night hugs through tough nights were rather telling as well, if not, why would they be so comfortable when waking up together on the couch where both of them had accidentally fallen asleep under the muse of alcohol and comforting words. Hell, even one of their friends had jokingly pointed out how they were as close as a real couple, much to the Gorou’s (and Kazuha’s hidden) embarrassment.
“I’m pretty sure he’s bi.” Kazuha could recall Gorou’s direct older sister, Yoneru, whispering to him during a family gathering. At the time, Gorou was busy entertaining his younger siblings, telling them stories of his time in university while they frosted a cake together. Kazuha had instead opted to stay in the living room, picking up a conversation with Yoneru just as the oldest siblings of Gorou’s family started chatting with their own friends and their father.
Despite his hardest attempts at being polite, Kazuha soon found himself staring at Gorou instead of talking with Yoneru properly. Through the crack of the kitchen door, he could see the older brother playfully smear a puff of cream on Nana’s nose while Kiroku was laughing wildly. If it weren’t for their mother in the kitchen, Kazuha was certain that the trio would make an absolute mess of that place. It was both amusing and adorable.
“Do you like him?”
The question caught Kazuha off-guard quickly. “I… Um, well…” If it were one of his friends asking that, perhaps he would be calmer and composed with his answer. But since this was Gorou’s older sister…
Thankfully, she seemed to notice his apprehension. “Hah, don’t worry. That wasn’t an interrogation or anything.” She lightly patted Kazuha’s back, cueing him to ease his shoulders a little. “I’m just fairly surprised that you became this nervous so quickly. No one else has ever reacted to our Gorou like that.”
“You mean, he has invited other people to your house before?” His heart clenched tightly at the idea that Gorou might have had another secret lover sitting on the exact sofa he was on. Some part of his heart was rather desperate in being Gorou’s first intimate partner, even though the chances of that were slim.
“Nope, you’re still the first.” Yoneru giggled. “I’ve met a few of Gorou’s girlfriends and boyfriends before, mostly in town, but none of them really stuck for a long time. Not like how often you come over, anyway.”
A small weight was lifted from Kazuha’s chest, but soon sunk as the older sibling continued. “Listen, I’m probably not the best person to talk to about this. Forgive me and my aroace heart.” Ah, so that was the meaning of the flag in her room. “But really, I think you should talk to Gorou about it. Let him know how you really feel, before you regret it.”
It seemed so simple, and yet the thought tied Kazuha’s stomach up in knots. Knowing that Gorou was somewhat experienced in romance had certainly eased his worry that his crush already found a soulmate, but it equally failed in reassuring him that the path of pursuing him would go smoothly. The last thing he wanted to do was to open past wounds and smear potential salt in them, especially if Kazuha himself had no idea how to maintain a partnership with someone as wonderful as Gorou.
Still as daunting as a confession sounded, it sure would be nice if Gorou had miraculously returned his feelings for him. Suddenly, the idea of staying by Gorou’s side felt so lovely in Kazuha’s mind. The thought of holding his hand as they walked, or sharing hot drinks while they huddled together and watched cheesy rom-coms, or even snuggling close to Gorou as they slept. The list could go on if it weren’t for Kazuha getting distracted by the chatty noises around him.
“Talk to him.” Yoneru spoke as she picked up Kazuha’s empty soda cup to get him a refill. “Something tells me that it will go well.”
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And thus, the young scholar found himself daydreaming once more as the light drizzle continued to patter outside, persisting through the resilient rays of sunshine and resuming their reign over Watatsumi. It was one of those summer days where they would get a mixture of rain and sun, the two kinds of weather vying for dominance over the otherwise clear atmosphere of the small town. Perhaps it was a mere coincidence that even nature itself was mimicking the swirling emotions in his heart, as two trains of thought were also vying for control over his actions.
The conversation he had with Yoneru just a few days ago remained fresh in his head. And with no distractions such as tutorials or lectures distracting him during the summer vacation, it was impossible for Kazuha to sweep it under the rug any longer.
Not that the very target of his admiration was helping him anyway, since he was sitting right next to him on the sofa.
Making matters worse was that Gorou seemed oblivious to how close they were sitting together while watching a popular Japanese animated film on their television. In fact, he seemed to be growing progressively less perceptive of how he would enter Kazuha’s personal space without much thought (not that he minded it; a touch of Gorou’s warm hand was more than enough to quell any fear he was feeling). And now, being this close to his crush, Kazuha found himself at a crossroads.
The first way out of these feelings was to simply confess his feelings and be done with it, bearing all the consequences that followed. If Gorou ended up not sharing his sentiments, at least he could be shut down straight away instead of prolonging this emotion before it turned into something viciously dangerous for his heart.
The other method, which Kazuha was weighing toward, was to drop his crush altogether. There would be no risk to the closeness that he and Gorou shared, nor would there be any awkwardness between them that could endanger their friendship. But if merely mumbling the word ‘friendship’ was a hard pill for Kazuha to swallow, then how could he ever convince himself to drop his growing feelings towards his roommate?
“Hey Kazuha, do you have a crush on anyone?”
Speak of the goddamn devil itself. As if the scholar wasn’t already having a hard time deciding which path he should take, now Gorou of all people had to give him such an innocent question. “What makes you ask that all of a sudden?” He asked back, trying to change the topic.
“Well, for one, you’re looking rather red.” Since when did Gorou’s eyes look so dazzling while his face was this close to me? “And you’re not paying attention to the movie at all, either. Didn’t you say that you liked Princess Mononoke? Or did I get the movie wrong-?”
“Oh, no, you’re alright.” Perhaps fate had been watching him all this while, and seeing that he wasn’t going to make a decision, fate decided to do it himself. Pushing Gorou to trigger such a question that would get Kazuha to make a quick flight-or-fight decision.
He still didn’t know if he should accept or deny his crush.
“Well… Maybe you want to talk about it, then?” Gorou suggested with an encouraging smile. “I’m not really the best with that kind of advice, since I’m not in a relationship and all but I’m always willing to lend a listening ear.” When Kazuha failed to come up with a reply, Gorou proceeded to wave his hands in front of him. “Or, you know, we can talk about anything else, too! Doesn’t have to be about a crush. I know that kind of thing can be hard to talk about.”
“Gorou-”
“We don’t have to keep watching, if it’s bothering you too much. There isn’t really a romantic message to the movie, even though it’s hinted a lot-”
“Gorou, it’s okay. Just…”
For how strangely talkative his roommate was today, Kazuha decided to give in to his second train of thought. Swallowing the fact that Gorou did not like him back was certainly better than swallowing his festering romantic attraction to him, after all.
Kazuha heaved a heavy sigh as his friend turned around to face him, eagerly waiting for his words. Again, if it weren’t for his heart climbing in his throat, he would have remarked on how adorable Gorou looked right now. “I… well… I suppose you’re not wrong. With what you said earlier and all.”
“That you have a crush…?”
“Yes.” Well, that was easy. Now, it was time to say that it was actually him . “I do have a crush on someone… It’s someone that we both know, actually.”
It was probably foolish for Kazuha to divert his attention that way, but it was the only method he could use to buy time while he tried to come up with the right words. How ironic that he, the poetic and literate Kazuha, was lacking the thought process to materialize the right words to use in this situation. Gorou’s constant guessing was probably making the scene far more comedic than it had to be, too.
“Lemme think… Thoma?”
“No, it’s not him.”
“Itto?”
“Not really.”
“Hm, I’d guess Yoimiya or Ayaka, but you’re kind of at a stalemate there.”
“Hah, yeah, I know.” It was rather clear that both girls were not only lesbians, but also very much in a relationship.
“Kokomi, maybe?”
“She’s nice, but no, not her.”
Gorou wrinkled his nose. “ … I’m fresh out. Are you sure this crush of yours is someone we both know?”
“Gorou… I have a crush on you.”
There it was. He finally said it.
Kazuha had rightfully steeled himself away from the other occupant of the sofa, choosing to not look at Gorou’s expression in case his heart could be shattered any further. This was way worse than he expected, not when an air of silence was blanketed across them, devoting them of any fuzzy feelings that were felt before. The white-haired man wanted so badly to sink into the sofa, maybe even drown in it, if it meant that his hopeless crush could be turned down quickly so they can forget about it and move on with just their friendship.
Maybe Gorou needed a push in the right direction. “I understand if you don’t have feelings for me in return, Gorou.” Kazuha shakily began as he stared at the floor, mustering every drop of willpower within him to hold his feelings back. “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind it if you harshly rejected me right now, too. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship, and I especially don’t want to stop being friends with you. I just… hope you know that I really really appreciate you, and that having you around me really makes my day brighter and-”
“Are you serious?”
Just as Kazuha had gotten a firm grasp on his words, it happened again. Fate’s cruel hand deciding to end the topic just as quickly as it started it. Kazuha expected the worst as he meekly replied. “Yes… I do mean it.”
“You mean it, entirely?”
“I do.”
“You really really mean it? To all that you’ve said about us, about me?”
“Yes, to everything.”
“100 percent?”
The ironic echo was enough to persuade Kazuha to raise his head, landing his eyes on a brand new spectacle that he was absolutely not expecting.
A flushed, red-faced, teary-eyed, tail-wagging, Gorou.
“You… really have feelings for me?” He asked, a hand trying and failing to hide his embarrassing face. “Not for anyone else but, for me?”
Watching Gorou appear this vulnerable drew a different emotion from Kazuha this time, just like all the other instances of the canine hybrid coaxing his feelings out of the usually withdrawn scholar. Somehow, Kazuha was feeling more protective than usual, wishing to wrap his hands around Gorou’s shaking ones, a desire pulsing within him to gently kiss each of his fingers to calm him down. If only he was feeling gutsier tonight, maybe under the influence of alcohol, to demonstrate how much he wanted to be with this lovely man that stole his heart.
Instead, Kazuha softly laughed. “Indeed I do, my dear.” Gorou hadn’t reacted to that slip-up in words, and still, Kazuha mentally prepared himself in case he was wrong. “I… I do have strong feelings for you. And they’re nothing like I’ve ever felt before.”
“I…” Gorou was definitely shivering a little now. Whether it was out of fear or relief, Kazuha couldn’t really tell. “I have feelings for you too-!” He managed to spit out, before the usual waterfall of words began slipping through his lips again. “I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time, maybe around a few months ago or something, but I had no idea if that was a good idea since you seemed so preoccupied with schoolwork. And really, the last thing I wanted to do was to distract you from anything, or even ruin the bond we had but-!”
It took Kazuha shuffling over to Gorou and pressing his forehead against his to get the dog-eared man to take a deep breath. He probably count the stars in the beautiful sea that was Gorou’s watery eyes.
“I just wanted to be with you so badly…” He confessed softly, his hand instinctively slithering to hold Kazuha’s own. “I wanted it so badly that it hurt. And I tried to bury it deep within but… I guess that was the wrong way to go, wasn’t it?”
“It was certainly the wrong way to go for both of us, my dear.”
There was nothing else that needed to be said between them. Not when they were finally together like this. Pressed against each other on the sofa, nested in each other’s arms while they shared laughter and tears and long-awaited kisses on the cheeks between each other. In methodology, it was no different than any activity they did before; they would always share lunchtimes and chit-chats whenever they could. But now, a new avenue was open for them. And with it came an enduring, deep-rooted love that tied their hearts closer than they had ever been before.
And they were roommates. But who could really know for certain?
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