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“When was the last time you fronted?” Khonshu asked from his perch on the roof
“Don’t’ matter” Jake replied gruffly, dodging a punch and twisting the mans arm till’ he heard it snap.
Khonshu hummed “But it does matter”
Jake didn’t deign him with an answer, instead stabbing a woman in the throat, tearing it out violently and letting her choke to death on her own blood. Another man ran up to him, armed with a knife, and he swiftly blocked. (Yes he blocked the knife, shut up Steven)
As expected, the knife cut into his arm, bringing forth a blooming, throbbing pain. He ignored it, taking the mans stunned state to his advantage, stabbing him in the face and peeling off some skin. The mans nose and eyelid were ripped off, and he proceeded to stab again, effectively killing him.
The throng of people lay dead or dying at his feet. Moonlight reflected in every pool of blood, reflecting his self in each one. The moon was present in every puddle of gore, reflecting across its surface in a strangely comforting manner. The moon was calming, yet the blood was not. A twisted, hellish form of pain and comfort melting together.
Jake sighed, adrenaline starting to run thin, his job was done here. He was just the shield that took all the hits, and the shield wasn’t needed anymore. He wasn’t needed anymore. He exhaled heavily, and prepared to hand the reigns over to Marc or Steven. Marc or Steven who still didn’t know he existed…
“Don’t” a deep, gravely yet smooth voice commanded
Jake turned to find Khonshu on the other side of the alleyway, body silhouetted against the lamplights spilling into the alley. He watched in veiled confusion as the god approached, stepping over bodies and puddles until he was directly in front of him. Jake didn’t know what to expect, he only knew that Khonshu was looking down at him. The god raised a hand, and he felt some sort of sick relief. He called it- he was going to be punished. The thought that he was right felt good, even if it were for the wrong reasons.
So, imagine his surprise when he was wrong. Suddenly a skeletal hand was patting him on the head, and he looked up to meet Khonshu’s hollow gaze. He didn’t understand- why? What was Khonshu doing? Didn’t he do something wrong?
“Do you remember the bird outside your window?” Khonshu asked, subtly drawing Jake close.
Marc and Steven never mentioned any birds, well, besides the one in front of him. He didn’t understand what he was referring to. The child inside him dreaded being wrong, dreaded not knowing. If he didn’t know the reason for something, he would get hurt. He would-
“Not their memory, yours” Khonshu stated softly
Jake didn’t answer, and the god continued “Everyday, when you were there, there was a falcon outside your window.” Khonshu started, and Jake did remember that.
“When you went to the store or school, there was always a falcon on the telephone line outside.” Khonshu was full on hugging him now, skeletal fingers running down his back soothingly.
Khonshu hummed “Now, do you know what kind of bird I am?”
Jake shook his head, he didn’t know.
Khonshu chuckled softly “I am a falcon.”
Jake stilled, and pushed away slightly to look at the gods face. “You…?”
Khonshu nodded “After your mother was done hurting you, there was always a falcon outside the window.” Khonshu paused, noting how he started to tremble “You would always open the window and pet the bird. You would cry and spill all of your fears and worries until there were no tears left to cry. “
Khonshu grabbed his shoulders, staring at him head-on “You are not a murderer, Jake Lockley. You could never be a true killer. Under that prickly exterior…you are still just a boy”
Jake was crying now, silent tears soaking the mask a slightly darker shade. Khonshu brought him into a hug once more, skull resting on his head. “You were just a boy…”
Jake gulped, throat suddenly feeling tight with emotion “Why…why me?” his voice cracked. “Why…us?”
Khonshu hummed “Partially fate, but that doesn’t mean I would choose just anyone”
Khonshu pulled away from the hug “No matter what, you will always be my little nestling”
Jake didn’t… Jake didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t- he had never been comforted before. All he knew was pain. He didn’t…he didn’t know how to be happy.
“How…why? Why are you being so nice to me?” Jake asked brokenly. Even to himself it sounded cliché, but that’s all he could think of. Why was someone being nice to him? Didn’t he do something wrong?
“Because you deserve it, my son” Khonshu stated, as if it were obvious
Son. Khonshu thought of him as a son, even when his own family didn’t. Khonshu cared about him, saved him more times than he could remember. Khonshu was always there for him, even when he didn’t know it.
Jake took a deep breath, preparing to speak, to ask why, to scream, to cry. Nothing came out, the will dying in his throat.
Khonshu held out a hand. “Come”
Jake didn’t hesitate, stumbling forward and taking the gods hand. Suddenly they were on a roof, a high one overlooking the city. They were both sitting down, overlooking the city.
“The night sky, its beautiful, isnt it?” Khonshu questioned
Jake nodded numbly, staring out at the starry sky. He remembered how pretty the night sky looked when he was a kid. Remembered how it calmed him after a moment of agony. How the cool of night chilled his warm wounds. He rembered the falcon on the telephone line outside of school, like a guardian angel.
Jake didn’t know it then, but he knew now. The calming night, the falcon… that was Khonshu. Someone did care for him, and that made him feel warm inside. He was valid. He had his own hopes and dreams.
After all…
…If someone cares for him…
…Then he must be real