Work Text:
“Thanks.” Taeyong smiled at the barista that just gave him his americano.
As a second-year Neurology resident at SM Hospital, he needed his caffeine. It was early in the morning, and Taeyong was going back to his long sixteen-hour shift after his day off, where laundry and textbooks had surrounded him.
Walking down the street towards work, dressed in a large coat protecting from the cold, Taeyong listened to some upbeat music with his AirPods on, trying to wake up. The wind messed up his black hair even more than it already was, but he would get a hold of it when he reached his locker room. He whistled with the song, imagining what a great day he would have ahead, even if it was tiring.
It happened in a flash.
A car crossed the red light at high speed, its side getting smashed as a black SUV rammed into it. The sounds of the crash, louder than his music, made Taeyong jump. He dropped his coffee as he saw someone on the street who had flown out through the front window, probably because they had no seatbelt on. As people panicked and horns sounded, Taeyong looked around before rushing to the intersection, under shouts of ‘call 911’.
He found a blond man, strands painted red from the injury in the head. Taeyong turned him, careful of his neck. His beautiful face had scratches. The cut in his scalp bled into the forehead. Taeyong checked his airway, examining his mouth—it was clear. Breathing—absent. Pulse—nothing. Around him, the place was pure chaos, but Taeyong focused on the man in front of him, a man that needed his care right now.
Taeyong joined his hands on the stranger’s chest and started compressions.
“What are you doing? Stay away from him!”
It was one of the drivers. He seemed disoriented, but not as bad at the one on the ground.
“I’m a doctor,” said Taeyong, refocusing on counting.
He tilted the stranger’s head back and lifted his chin, so he could lean in and join their lips, using rescue breathing.
He kept doing cardiopulmonary resuscitation, his brow sweating even in the cold temperature, his arms getting tired, until the paramedics arrived. They placed AED pads, a machine which analyzed the patient’s pulse. The machine showed ‘Shock not Advised’, which meant...
“He’s got a pulse,” said the paramedic. Taeyong realized he’d been holding a lung-full of air. He released it.
“Let me ride with you to SM Hospital,” said Taeyong, as they loaded the stranger into the gurney. “I’m Doctor Lee Taeyong.”
“Hop on.”
*
Taeyong watched the stranger through the gallery of the operating room. The sterile place was filled with people working on the stranger. Taeyong needed to start rounds, but he was worried if the patient would make it or not. He had suffered extensive internal injuries, a broken arm, and a concussion. He had cerebral edema, or brain swelling, and the neurosurgeon was performing a decompressive craniectomy to relieve pressure. Plus, Taeyong accidentally had broken the patient’s ribs while performing compressions.
“Taeyong, what are you doing here? Dr. Soo-man is looking for you,” Mark said, suddenly showing up.
“Shit.” He took one last look at the patient on the table and left.
As he reached his attending doctor, Soo-man didn’t look happy.
“It’s not like you to be late,” the attending said.
“Sorry, Dr. Lee. I was checking on the patient from the intersection car crash.” He tried justifying.
“He’s not under our care yet. And these are.” Soo-man hit Taeyong’s chest with an immense pile of charts. “Since you were the last here, you are getting scut work. I want all these updated. In legible handwriting.”
“Yes, Doctor.” Taeyong just nodded, and Soo-man left, accompanied by his other residents.
Taeyong sighed. If being late meant he could check on the patient he saved, then he was okay with scut work.
*
The rhythmic beeps of the entire apparatus in the ICU helping Chittaphon Ten Leechaiyapornkul stay alive filled Taeyong’s ears. Ten was in a medically induced coma. Inside the darkened room was Lee Donghyuck, the surgical resident who had assisted the attending doctor during surgery. He was writing something on Ten’s chart.
Against his better judgment, Taeyong walked in.
“Hey, Hyuck.”
The resident raised his eyes at Taeyong.
“Hey. The nurses are saying you saved this one in the middle of the street. Is that true?”
“I just helped a little,” said Taeyong, eyes fixed on Ten’s figure. Under all the wires and tubes hooked onto him, and the bruising on his face, there were soft features hidden. The face of a survivor. “How is he doing?”
“You broke his ribs. He flatlined during surgery, but we got him back,” said Hyuck, dropping Ten’s chart and putting a hand on Taeyong’s shoulder. “I have another surgery soon. Take it easy, man.”
The surgeon left.
Taeyong stepped closer. Ten had short nails that were painted black. He hadn’t noticed them before.
“You again.”
Taeyong turned around to see the driver from before in a wheelchair. He was in a hospital gown, but didn’t look seriously hurt.
“Is this your friend?” Taeyong asked.
The driver looked over at Ten with sorrow.
“Yes. He took off the seatbelt to grab a water bottle on the back,” he explained. “His airbag didn’t work. Fuck. Is he going to die?”
“I-I’m not his doctor,” said Taeyong without thinking.
“Then what the hell are you doing here?” The driver angered.
“What’s your name?” Taeyong asked.
“Johnny.”
“Johnny, I’m a neurology resident. I am not on Ten’s medical team, but I can ask the nurse to page someone if you want an in-depth explanation of your friend’s condition. He’s under the care of the best doctors and nurses here at SM Hospital, I can assure you.”
“Just... I wanna be alone with him,” said Johnny, his eyes red and watering.
Taeyong stepped out, giving them privacy. He gave Ten one last look through the window before leaving.
*
It was Taeyong’s lunch break when he passed by Ten’s room. He came up to his chart and checked it. There was no sign of improvement. Taeyong sighed.
“You’ve gotta fight,” he told Ten. “You are strong. I know you can do it.”
Taeyong knew he was talking alone, but another part of himself, a small part, thought maybe Ten could hear him, and some incentive wouldn’t hurt. He dropped the chart and right when he left, Ten started coding. Taeyong startled but moved out of the way. A team rushed inside, and Taeyong just watched through the window as they cared for him.
“His brain is bleeding. He needs emergency surgery.”
And with that, Ten was taken away.
*
When Taeyong came to Ten’s room, it was late at night. Ten had made it through the surgery. Taeyong was tired, so he sat on an empty chair across from the bed. The apparatus around Ten beeped rhythmically. Taeyong should be sleeping in the on-call room, but all he could think about was Ten alone in the ICU.
Taeyong pulled a book from his pocket and opened it. He cleared his throat and started reading out loud.
“So long everything! he shouted, then he ran next door to Margot’s house.
I’m moving, he said.
Where? asked Margot.
Two weeks away, said Mitchell.
Where is that? asked Margot.
It’s everywhere I will be after I walk for two weeks, said Mitchell. I have lived in the same place for a long time; it is time for me to go some place else.
No, said Margot; you have only lived next door for fifteen years.
Sixteen, said Mitchell.
Fifteen, sixteen, what’s the difference? said Margot, I want you to stay next door forever.
I can’t, said Mitchell, I do not want to go wake up in the same old bed. And eat breakfast in the same old kitchen. Every room in my house is the same old room, because I have lived there too long.”
*
Someone poked his shoulder. Taeyong woke up with a startle.
“Mark?”
“What are you doing here? Your shift ended hours ago,” said Mark.
Taeyong had fallen asleep in Ten’s room, reading a book that was still on his lap.
Taeyong yawned and stretched. “I just closed my eyes for a second.” He got up.
“See you later, man,” said Mark, leaving.
Taeyong trailed to his locker room, changed his clothes, and left the hospital. The weather felt cold on his cheeks as he walked home. He thought about his patients, and he thought about Ten. Even though Ten wasn’t under his care, Taeyong had been the one to bring him to life in the middle of the street. He felt some affection and worry towards him. He wanted to see Ten make it.
At home, Taeyong took a shower and changed into his pajamas, dropping into bed and falling asleep almost immediately.
The clock rang. Taeyong woke up, his body heavy and his mind dizzy. He got up anyway, used to fighting off tiredness.
After a hearty breakfast, Taeyong trailed to his bookshelf. He scrutinized it, trying to pick the right book. He chose one and put it in his bag. He grabbed his coat and left for work.
Taeyong did his rounds with Soo-man and the other residents, a long shift ahead of him. But when he had his lunch break, he went to Ten’s room and sat on the chair across from him. Ten looked exactly the same, and, checking his chart, there was a slight improvement. Taeyong was ecstatic about it. He picked the book from his white coat and opened it.
“Elantris was beautiful, once. It was called the city of the gods: a place of power, radiance, and magic. Visitors say that the very stones glowed with an inner light, and that the city contained wondrous arcane marvels. At night, Elantris shone like a great silvery fire, visible even from a great distance.”
*
Taeyong’s shift had ended, but he was still in the hospital. He stayed in Ten’s room and had put music on his phone by the bedside table. The nurses had already been gossiping about him and his constant visits. The residents would laugh about it behind his back, whispering about him when they thought Taeyong wasn’t listening. He couldn’t give two shits about it. He’d brought Ten back to life, and he wanted to see him walk out of the hospital.
Meanwhile, the song played.
I wanna sleep next to you
But that’s all I wanna do right now
And I wanna come home to you
But home is just a room full of my safest sounds
‘Cause you know that I can’t trust myself with my 3:00 a.m. shadow
I’d rather fuel a fantasy then deal with this alone
I wanna sleep next to you
But that’s all I wanna do right now
So come over now
And talk me down
*
“The only way to beat my crazy was by doing something even crazier. Thank you. I love you. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up.”
*
Kaite will you come true for me
Come by some time when I’m awake
Everyone else just lies to me, yeah
They say you’re a dream
*
“I wanted to feel the blood running back into my veins, even at the cost of annihilation. I wanted to shake the stone and light out of my system. I wanted the dark fecundity of nature, the deep well of the womb, silence, or else the lapping of the black waters of death. I wanted to be that night which the remorseless eye illuminated, a night diapered with stars and trailing comets. To be of night so frighteningly silent, so utterly incomprehensible and eloquent at the same time. Never more to speak or to listen or to think.”
*
I won’t need anymore memories
For the next 50 years I could still write you love songs
I won’t need anymore photographs
To remember the color of the clothes you wore that night
*
“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”
*
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning?
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you’d just woke up
And you said
“This is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care, I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”
*
Months had passed. In Ten’s room, Taeyong was almost falling asleep. He got up and walked in circles to wake himself. He knew that space by heart. He’d spent hours there, playing music, reading aloud, having lunch. And Ten had spent hours of his life sleeping, maybe dreaming. Surviving. He’d come a long way. His injuries had healed. But he hadn’t woken up yet.
Taeyong stopped by the side of his bed, hopeful. He couldn’t forfeit hope.
“You can do it,” he said. “Wake up. People are waiting for you. Johnny comes by every week to see you. I bet he misses you.”
Ten laid still, his hair long, half black and half blond.
Taeyong reached for his hand, so cold compared to his. He brushed the skin with his thumb gently.
Then the hand moved. Taeyong let go of it with a startle. He looked at Ten, who was blinking his eyes open. Taeyong couldn’t believe it. Ten choked on the intubation tube, flinching.
“Calm down, it’s okay. I’ll be right back.”
Taeyong rushed to the door and yelled: “Nurse! Call Dr. Lee Donghyuck!”
When Hyuck arrived, they pulled the tube out, and Ten could finally speak.
“What happened?” he rasped.
“You’ve been in an accident, Mr. Leechaiyapornkul.”
“Lee is just fine,” Ten said. He looked at Taeyong with curiosity. “And you are?”
“I’m Dr. Lee Taeyong. I was there when your friend’s car crashed.”
“He saved your life, Mr. Lee,” said Hyuck, and Taeyong turned red.
“I’m just glad you are back.”
Since Taeyong wasn’t Ten’s doctor, he gave them privacy to talk about the extent of Ten’s injuries and how much time he’d been in hospital.
*
Taeyong passed by Ten’s room slowly. He felt, now that Ten was awake, that it might be weird for a stranger like him to prance in and out of his room. He looked inside and Ten was in a wheelchair, accompanied by Hyuck, and Johnny, who was wheeling him out. Taeyong kept walking.
“Dr. Taeyong!” Ten called.
Taeyong halted and turned around. He took an encouraging deep breath and came close to him.
“How are you, Mr. Lee?” he asked.
“You can call me Ten. You saved my life, after all. Broke my ribs, but still.” Ten sounded humorous. “I just wanted to say thanks. They told me what you did... I wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you.”
Taeyong could barely form words, looking at Ten so full of life. Even with the weird two-color hair, he looked beautiful.
“I did what anyone else would. I’m glad to see you recovered, Ten.” Taeyong smiled.
“We should get going,” said Johnny.
Ten nodded.
“Thank you again, Taeyong.”
Then they left.
*
Summer came and went. Taeyong worked shift after shift for long hours. He saw multiple faces every day. Multiple patients. He didn’t forget Ten, though. He sometimes passed Ten’s old room and remembered how many nights he’d spent there, trying not to fall asleep, waiting for his pager to go off, reading out loud, listening to music.
It was almost the end of his shift when it happened.
“Someone is here to see you, Dr. Lee Taeyong,” said the nurse.
“Who?”
“I think he was your patient. Over there.” She pointed.
Taeyong turned and there he was. Ten. He had short black hair now, and he opened a smile as he saw Taeyong closing the distance between them.
“Ten, what are you doing here?” Taeyong asked.
Ten giggled, and Taeyong was at a loss for words.
“When I woke up, I thought I had no memory of my coma,” said Ten. “But with time, some things started to come back. I heard a voice... reading to me. And I heard songs, and the same voice singing along to them.”
Taeyong flushed.
“Now I know I am right. It was you,” said Ten with a smile. “You read to me. For months?”
Taeyong shifted his weight, then nodded.
“Why?” Ten asked.
“I just... you were alone. You were already hurt, and I didn’t want you to be alone.”
Ten’s eyes glistened with joy. It was undeniable. Taeyong felt his hands trembling.
“I want to buy you a drink, Dr. Taeyong.”
Taeyong laughed. “Okay. But only if you stop calling me doctor.”
“Deal.”
“My shift is almost over,” said Taeyong. “There is a bar across from the hospital. See you there?”
Ten nodded.
When Taeyong’s shift ended, he nervously made his way to the bar. Ten was there, sitting at a table, nursing a beer. Taeyong took a deep breath and came up to him.
“Hey.”
“Hi. Have a sit,” said Ten.
Taeyong obeyed. Ten looked radiant. The server asked Taeyong what he wanted, and he ordered a beer. Ten regarded him with his crescent moon eyes.
“Is it weird to see me like this?” Ten asked with a smile.
“It’s... interesting.”
“Interesting?”
“I’ve spent months talking to you, imagining how you’d look like out of a hospital bed. And now that I see, I’m surprised in the best possible way.”
Ten sipped his beer without taking his eyes off Taeyong.
“Are you saying I look good for a nearly dead guy?” Ten asked.
Taeyong laughed. “Something like that.”
“What do you do exactly? What’s your specialty?”
“I’m a Neurology resident,” Taeyong answered. “That’s one of the reasons I kept close tabs on your case. But I’ve never been your doctor.”
“Good.” Ten smiled.
“What about you? I don’t know anything besides the fact that you’ve been in a coma for months.”
“I’m a designer. I have two cats, Louis and Leon. They are my babies. Johnny took care of them while I was away.”
“I bet they missed you,” said Taeyong.
“They did. That’s actually the part I feel worse about. Being away from them.”
“I used to have a dog, Ruby, so I get what you mean. She kept me company during med school, into late nights of study.”
“That’s adorable,” said Ten.
The server brought them another round of beers.
“What are your plans now?” Taeyong asked.
“Now that I’m back to life?” Ten giggled. “Live life to the max, and never forget to put back my seatbelt on.”
“That’s a great resolution.”
“Maybe... chat up some doctor, too.”
Taeyong laughed nervously. “This bar is filled with doctors. Do you need a wingman?”
“I think I already have my eyes set on someone.” Ten grinned.
When they left the bar, Taeyong and Ten were both drunk.
“Taeyong, I have something to say,” Ten started, slurred. “I think you brought me back to life in more than one way. When you read to me, and put songs in my room... You pulled me back from darkness. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m sure of it. Thank you.”
Ten hugged Taeyong and he let himself relax into the embrace.
“I’m glad whatever I did brought you back to life,” Taeyong said. “You deserve it.”
Taeyong made sure to take Ten home on an Uber, even though his place was near the hospital.
“Give me your cell number,” Ten said in the back of the car.
Taeyong did, and the driver stopped by Ten’s place. They embraced once more and Ten left. Taeyong watched him get inside the building, then the car drove away.
*
“Get off your phone,” Mark muttered to Taeyong.
He put it inside his white coat’s pocket and paid attention to the rounds.
“Are you still talking to him?” Mark asked when they left the room.
“Yes.”
Taeyong had been chatting and meeting up with Ten since the time they had gone to the bar together. They’d become good friends and talked every day. Taeyong really enjoyed it, having a friend that wasn’t a doctor. It was nice to have a life outside the hospital. Ten had made a bucket list of things he wanted to do, places he wanted to visit, and Taeyong usually came along. They laughed together easily, and everything felt perfect.
“You like him,” Mark pointed out.
“Shut up,” Taeyong coughed.
“Oh, please. I can see your face every time he texts you.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Taeyong dodged.
“Do you think he likes you too?”
“I have no idea, Mark. Enough, we are doing rounds.”
*
The sun shone bright, even in the cold weather, and Taeyong had to cover his eyes with his hand to watch Ten play in the water. With his pants risen to his knees, Ten jumped waves at the ocean, barefooted. He laughed and twirled, creating, for Taeyong, a blissful scene. Ten, well and alive, enjoying himself on the beach.
Ten turned to Taeyong, and it was like the world stopped. Ten’s joyous smile, his crescent moon eyes, his black hair flowing in the wind. Ten offered his hand, calling Taeyong forth. So he got up and pulled his pants up, joining Ten in the water. It was cold and salty, soft white foam, sending jolts up the body, but it had that natural rawness that touched them and infused them with life.
They stood in the water as it came and went, looking ahead into the horizon. Ten sighed and Taeyong noticed his eyes were filling up with tears. Overjoyed tears, tears of gratitude. It was common for Ten to cry at a moment of happiness now, and Taeyong understood him plenty. He pulled Ten into his arms and held him there, cupping the back of his head.
Because it was okay to weep, and they were okay.
*
Ten had thrown a small party for his friends at his home, and Taeyong had been invited. During the entire night, Ten had shared looks with him, but Taeyong had no idea what they meant. When everyone had gone home, Taeyong stayed to help with cleaning. It was a winter night, and snow fell outside. Still, Ten had invited Taeyong to drink another beer on his balcony. The city was covered in white, and lights shone beautifully like stars. Ten grabbed his phone and put on a song, one that Taeyong had played to him in the hospital.
Now I don’t sleep unless your body’s on me
I won’t feel right until we can be
Underneath everything that’s between, yeah
I’m undone about to burst at my seams
Cause I am picturing you beside me
So let me be everything that you need, yeah
Ten moved closer to Taeyong, touching their sides.
“You know what?” Ten asked.
“Yes?”
“I want you to kiss me.”
Taeyong almost dropped his beer.
“Ten… are you sure?”
Ten nodded, looking at him with intensity. His breath was visible, pouring out of his lips. Taeyong realized this was real and leaned in carefully. Ten closed the distance and kissed Taeyong. The feeling of having Ten’s lips on him was heavenly, something that warmed at Taeyong’s core, despite the cold. They separated and looked into each other’s eyes.
“I’ve wanted this for a while,” Ten confessed. “A real kiss, not mouth to mouth resuscitation.”
Taeyong burst out laughing. “I can’t believe you.”
Ten laughed too. “I mean it. Come on inside. Spend the night with me. We don’t need to do anything.”
Taeyong pushed Ten’s bangs away from his forehead. “Okay.”
Together, they came inside and changed into comfortable clothes. Taeyong could barely believe it when he laid beside Ten, inside a warm bed, and held him in his arms. He kissed the top of Ten’s head, which smelled of lavender. He loved it.
Perfectly fitted as one, they closed their eyes and fell asleep.