Chapter Text
Fizzarolli is a sex icon, and that wasn't an exaggeration. Everyone wanted him, he was irresistible and he had the stalkers and creepy fan letters to prove that. Well, irresistible to everyone but the guy he wanted to think he was irresistible. It was not like Asmodeus didn't think he was sexy or anything, no, they had sex often enough, and Fizz was very clearly his favorite, but irresistible wasn't something Ozzie would ever call him. He joked about it often enough, but that's all those comments ever were, jokes. It stung a little, but Fizz could live with his appearance not being irresistible, he wanted Asmodeus to think he was attractive for his personality anyway... Unfortunately for Fizz though, Ozzie didn't like him that way either.
Fizz had almost immediately fallen in love with Asmodeus when he first met him. The guy was just so incredibly hot, it almost made Fizz weak in the knees whenever they met. Despite that though, it wasn't only his appearance that made him swoon, fuck no, even if he looked like a troll or something, Fizz would still be head over heels for him. He wasn't drooling over Asmodeus when the two were together of course, nah that was saved for when he was alone and on his imaginary dates with the guy. Hand holding, going to fancy restaurants together, watching a movie while they reached fir the popcorn at the same time, tiny shy kisses throughout their date, sappy, but he liked the idea way more than he would like to admit. These were all things he wished Ozzie would want to do with him. All his daydreams ended with a shy deep kiss filled with love and affection of course, something he yearned for with his entire being... it wasn't like they didn't kiss either, they did, so Fizz could imagine those scenes pretty accurately. But those kisses were always during sex. They felt empty, and most likely to Ozzie they were, only pure lust was behind those...
There was one way Fizz got his feelings out though, he pretended to write lovey-dovey letters to Asmodeus every now and then. All filled with such sensitive feelings, all the feelings he had locked up. How he thought Ozzie's laugh was the most lovely sound he had ever heard in his life, how soft he thought his feathers were, how cute he thought Ozzie was when he was tired or tipsy,
How much Fizz loved him...
He wrote them quite often actually, lovey-dovey letters that would never reach the person they were written for. Feelings he wanted to share, but would destroy everything they had, the friendship Fizz treasured.
No, Fizz kept them to himself. No matter how heartbreaking it was. He wished he could share them with the one they were meant for though, but that was such a bad idea he would rather die. Besides, some of the content in those letters was so embarrassing Fizz would probably die of embarrassment if anyone, regardless of if it was Asmodeus reading the thing or not, were to ever read them... Like how he liked to curl himself up in one of Ozzie's shirts like it was a blanket whenever he was home alone because he liked his scent so much, how he had to stop his tail from wagging like crazy whenever he saw him, how he was only able to think about sweet vanilla sex when jerking off with him in mind, or how he was able to purr just at the thought of him.
Well, not like Ozzie would ever know, Fizz hid it all pretty well in his own opinion. Most likely because it was so easy to hide behind his stage persona whenever he started feeling like some sort of weird schoolgirl who was weak in the knees and at the point of turning into putty in the sin’s hands. He only allowed himself to let that happen in the bedroom! He liked how dominant Asmodeus was over him during sex too, it made him feel so fuzzy and sent his heart racing. Not like he would ever tell Asmodeus that.
Fizz subconsciously clung onto anything he could potentially relate to the sweet romantic relationship with Asmodeus he craved so much. The smiles Ozzie sent him, kisses that meant nothing at all, compliments none of his coworkers received, the way he had given him new expensive limbs when he almost couldn't walk with his old ones. Anything to pretend for even a second Ozzie might just crave for a romantic relationship with Fizz just as much as Fizz craved for one with him. That Fizz was special to him, that he would set aside his whole lust persona he had set up just to be with Fizzarolli. Though the thought of a secret forbidden relationship between the two of them also excited him, whichever Ozzie preferred really.
But he had fallen hopelessly in love with Asmodeus, the embodiment of lust. Ozzie had set boundaries for the two of them. No romance would ever get involved between the two of them, if Fizz were to ever confess his feelings to the one he loved so much, everything would be over. Everything would be completely destroyed, because Asmodeus didn't like him that way. The sin was disgusted by romance in fact, and Fizz pretended to agree with this opinion, gagging whenever romance was ever in sight, though it was something he had craved for so long... He and Asmodeus were friends of course, close friends in fact, but romantic partners wasn't it, no matter how much Fizz craved for them to be more. Fuck buddies is all they were, and was all they were ever going to be, and he wasn't about to pretend they could really ever be more than what they had now.
So Fizz kept his feelings locked up in front of the one he loved. Simply admiring him from afar. Enjoying the tiny bits of affection he was given and pretending for just a tiny second there was more. He took what he could get, it was enough for him to keep going. Though he knew the feelings would never be mutual, he didn't want to get rid of them either. He liked dreaming of 'what if', as stupid as that might sound. He didn't like the thought of being near Asmodeus without the little butterflies fluttering around in his stomach, the way his skin felt like it was on fire and his mind went blank whenever their arms brushed together when nothing sexy was happening. These were feelings that just felt so pleasant, even if the guy he was practically drooling over didn't return those feelings in the slightest, the feelings that weren't allowed were something that made Ozzie just so special to him.
He was fine with confessing his love to an imaginary Ozzie during his daydream dates he had with him or when writing a cringy love letter Ozzie would never read. The soft romantic kissing was something he kept in his fantasies, it was not something he started wishing for. Yes, it was something he desperately wanted, but it was the harsh reality he had to face, be realistic about. Yeah, his feelings for the embodiment of lust were better left in his imagination, somewhere they would stay forever, because their current relationship is not something he would put on the line for his stupid feelings.