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There were three things that Lark didn’t share with Sparrow. Sparrow’s love of ice cream, Sparrow’s wife, Rebecca (except that one time, but that was a long time ago), and the guilt he still feels about starting the apocalypse. Completely normal things for you to not share with your twin.
Granted, Lark’s life had been anything but normal since getting sucked into an interdimensional portal and kidnapped by their grandfather. He sighs, at least he has held onto that much. His mind feels muddled as random memories keep trying to bubble to the surface.
He is trying to hold onto any memories or feelings that he can, but this specific plane is doing things to his mind. The longer he holds onto his memories and stays lucid, the less the Doodler can do out there. But the energy in this room is making it hard for him to put things in order, to remember so the fact that he remembers that this was all his fault because of that cursed day he stabbed his father and released the Doodler, seems like a fitting punishment before he dies.
“Well hey my beautiful boys, you ready to see this minion’s movie?” their father excitedly questions them as they walk into the kitchen. Instead of answering, Sparrow says,
“Father, I know, we know that things have been different for some time and that since we have returned Lark has been shall we say… sullen. But Lark, I believe you have an apology for father.”
“Oh Lark that is so sweet, you don’t need to apologize for anything buddy,” Henry responds with such kindness and as Lark gets closer to his father to embrace him, he is surprised by how steady his own voice is.
“I really do need to apologize father, I am sorry.”
“Sorry for what bud?”
“For this,” whispers Lark. The feeling of the kitchen knife sinking into his fathers flesh until it reaches the hilt surprises Lark. There is less resistance than he imagined but he supposes the knife is sharp, so he shouldn’t stagger.
“I’m so sorry father,” he says once again to Henry as he shakes his head. He was the Lord of Chaos, his father was the Unsung Hero, this was his destiny. Lark breathed wildly at having accomplished his mission feeling exhilarated… but then the convolutions started. Then he starts gagging on a thick gloppy tar like substance. He starts throwing up this gray and black sludge, burning on its way up, unable to stop until he is nearly out of breath, spit and tears rolling down his face. In between gasping breaths, he tried to look for his brother and his father or even one of the other kids or their parents, anyone who could make this stop. Sparrow and his father were throwing up this static like black sludge too. Soon he is in his fathers arms, Henry holding his sons tight in an undeserving embrace. They all run outside the house to see the same static the three of them had just been throwing up, forming a giant cloud in the sky, soon replacing the sky entirely. The last thing he saw was the world going black and the last thing he felt was the earth shudder beneath his feet and his eyes rolling into the back of his head, right before he passed out.
Lark gasps awake, as if he was just waking up from the convulsions when he was 13. He remembers waking up that day too. He had accomplished his mission, his destiny, right? Then why did he feel so empty? Lark still doesn’t know the answer to that question but it has become easier to ignore the emptiness as time goes on.
Sparrow is still trying to look for a way out of the “cell”. There is a door but it’s locked. No handle, no window, barely even a crevice underneath to look through. And what they saw on the other side, wasn’t exactly inducing much hope. It was just white, pure white light - no floor, no ceiling, no bubble, nothing that would lead the twins to believe they could get out of here. So, in Lark’s opinion, they might as well just lay here on this cement floor floating in this weird cell getting lost in memories.
Lark tries to remember how he got here. He really wishes he had a cigarette right now, he had been trying to cut the habit ever since Normal tried to explain how bad it was for him.
“Uncle Lark, did you know that about eight million people die prematurely due to smoking each year?” Normal says walking out onto Sparrow and Rebecca’s porch. Although this might as well be his house as well, he spends more time here than his rinky dink apartment. But he keeps the apartment because it’s close to the D.A.D.D.I.E.S headquarters and makes it easier to lie to the other dads about how much he is working.
“Is that right kid?” he says, taking another drag of his cigarette.
“I don’t know why you smoke or what led you to doing it but I wish you didn’t. I know my dad agrees with me. We are worried about you.”
“You shouldn’t have to worry about me kid,” he says ruffling Normal’s hair. After taking a look at the cigarette, he stomps it out and gives Normal a small smile. The first genuine smile he remembers giving in a long time.
“Thanks Uncle Lark, I just don’t want you to die,” Normal says leaning against Lark’s strong arms as the sun sets. Lark almost says, ‘That makes one of us kid,’ but manages to hold his tongue. He sighs and closes his eyes.
When he opens them again he is back in the cell.
Of course he knew smoking was bad for him, but until the kid pointed it out, he didn’t care. He had turned to smoking to try and relieve the stress and pressure he had felt. Sparrow had also expressed his confusion and disappointment in his new habit but Sparrow also knew more about what Lark had been experiencing. Ever since that day with the Doodler, it really had felt like the entire world was against him. Smoking made the void inside his chest a little more manageable.
It was his own fault, Lark thought. He brought this on himself, he should have expected that a chaos deity wouldn’t show him mercy but he was 13 when he did that; he had been just a child, younger than Normal was now.
Oh right, Normal. Fuck. The last thing he wanted was to drag the kids into this, but Mae must have contacted them even though they had specifically said not to. If he gets out of here, he will have to say something to her. But he won’t, he had told Normal to enact Code Purple. All the memories of the night come flooding back. At least he thinks the dance was just a couple hours ago, honestly time is fucked up here too. It might have been weeks ago at this point as far as Lark knows.
“Hey mom!” Normal shouts walking into the kitchen and throwing his backpack on the stairs to his room, “Oh hey Uncle Lark!” he adds when he notices him sitting at the kitchen table.
“Hey sweetie! How was school?” Rebecca asks. Lark nods at his greeting.
“School was good! I got a chance to practice a new flip in gym class. They also announced that the school dance will be happening in October this year.”
“Wow! That’s only a couple months away! Are you planning on going?”
“Of course! Teeny needs to be there! Besides a basketball game, soccer game, volleyball game, jeezeball match, and baseball/softball match - name a more school spirit filled event than the dance! Of course the mascot has to be there!”
“Oh, you plan on going as Teeny. Okay, well as long as you have fun while you are there,” Rebecca says, coming over to Normal and kissing his forehead.
“Well, do you want to try this new ice cream flavor? I tried to have Lark try it but I always forget he doesn’t like ice cream, I mean who doesn’t like ice cream?”
“I heard you Rebecca,” Lark answers.
“I know you did,” she answers, sticking her tongue out at him as if they were kids.
Lark rolls over after shaking himself from that dream. His heart aches reliving that perfectly platonic scene. While he doesn’t believe it is possible for him to have that… domestic bliss, he still wishes he had it sometimes. Sitting around a kitchen table, greeting your kid as they get home from school, and talking about what your spouse did at work. He double ruined his chances when he slept with Rebecca. His brother’s fiance of all people! Shit. He had been upset about a breakup. She had been drunk.
“Should we talk about last night?” Rebecca asks Lark quietly as they are cleaning up dinner. Sparrow is chasing Hero around the living room, out of ear shot.
“There isn’t anything to talk about,” Lark replies.
“We had sex, there’s plenty to talk about.”
“I was upset about my breakup and looked for a rebound. You were drunk and thought I was my brother. There was a misunderstanding. It was an accident. A mistake.”
“What if… it wasn’t an accident?” Rebecca bites her lip. Lark doesn’t like where this is going. It’s one thing for him to be miserable but he doesn’t want his brother to also be miserable.
“You are a great woman, Rebecca and you are a part of this family already. But we aren’t right for each other anyway. You and Sparrow click, like my father and mom did. Forget it happened.”
“Thank you Lark.” Rebecca smiles slightly and goes back to drying the dishes.
Lark rubs his eyes. He meant what he said to Rebecca, she was a great woman. In another life, he would have been happy with her or even if he had met her before his brother had. But the way he felt with her, wasn’t the same as how he had felt with…
Sparrow hiccups interrupting his thought, “Hey brother, remember that time you punched Grant all because he said you should get back together with Hunter?”
“Yes brother, I remember.”
“Good! We gotta keep our minds clear!” Sparrow shouts, grabbing Lark by the face and squishing his cheeks.
“Yeah, sure,” is all Lark can say. Sparrow seems satisfied with his answer cause he goes back to mumbling about ways out and his own memories. He knows that Sparrow isn’t in his right mind, that was a lot of alcohol he consumed. If his memories were as untroubled as his brothers, Lark’s only option would have been alcohol too. Lark’s pain at remembering all this stuff is enough to keep him grounded here, at least for now.
He remembers this point many years ago, when Normal was just a baby and Hero was just learning to walk. At this point, he had thought he could make this guilt go away… if he just made things… right again. So when Lark packed a duffel bag, bought his glock, and stole the keys to his brother’s trust, he didn’t think anything of it. But he hesitated, stopping to think if he should go buy another gun first or head straight to the Doodler sighting, and that allowed Sparrow enough time to catch him.
“Where are you going?” Sparrow asks.
“Go back inside Sparrow.”
“Are you going to that recycling center?” Lark continues to walk towards the van but he doesn’t get much farther before Sparrow is standing in front of him.
“I told you don’t have to do this alone,” Sparrow says, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him lightly. Logically, he knows that Sparrow is right, he didn’t have to, but dragging them into this didn’t lessen the guilt anymore.
“We can’t keep waiting and I’m the only one of us that isn’t held back by other obligations. We are lucky that no one got hurt at the soccer field incident and that the bystander had a dog cage big enough to hold that thing until we could kill it. What if we aren’t there next time?” Lark explains to Sparrow trying to reason with him.
“So what? You are just going to drive around and look for these events the Doodler is creating? Spend all your time and money fighting it? Alone?”
“Yes!” Lark can't help but shout. It isn’t that hard to understand.
“What happens when you don’t have money for gas or bullets anymore? What happens when the Doodler creates a monster stronger or bigger than you?” Sparrow accuses steadily getting louder too.
“I don’t know! I’ll figure it out! I’ll get a job that I don’t care about. That way I can quit and leave at the drop of dime if the Doodler creates a new monster,” he sighs.
“So you rather let yourself be miserable at some mediocre minimum wage job and stay alone in order to fight the Doodler for the rest of your life? That doesn’t seem very logical.”
“Since when is anything involving the Doodler or this fucking family been logical! Or.. or normal!”
Both the brothers are silent for a minute but then they hear the front door unlock. Rebecca is standing there in a large loose T-shirt and Sparrows boxers that she likes to wear to bed. She is holding Normal wrapped in a blanket with little ice cream cones on it that someone from Rebecca’s office had bought for him when he was born.
“Sparrow? Lark? What is going on? Are you two yelling? I think Normal heard his name cause he woke up and got all excited. What is going on?”
Sparrow walks over to kiss baby Normal on the forehead and he whispers some quick words to Rebecca. Lark tries to use this time to get into the van but suddenly notices that he no longer has the keys. He looks over at his brother who is clearly looking back at him from the side and holding the keys. Lark sighs. Soon Rebecca walks back inside and Sparrow walks back to his brother.
“Lark, brother, you can’t do this alone for the rest of your life.”
“If not me then who? You just proved why you can’t. You have Rebecca and Hero and Normal. Grant has Marco and they are trying to adopt Link currently. Terry is dating that Veronica chick now. I’m the only one… not currently pulled in other directions.”
“What about that nice guy you were dating, you seemed to really hit it off with him. Your auras were so compatible. He seemed to make you genuinely happy. Hunter?”
“I couldn’t exactly explain to him why I had to keep leaving our dates, or why I would wake up with nightmares practically every night, so I broke it off.”
“That’s a shame, he really seemed to make you happy.” Lark is silent, not having a response, not wanting to lie about Hunter to his brother. So Sparrow continues, “Then what? We don’t count as ties? Your twin brother, your niece and nephew who love having you around, your friends?”
“I can’t ask you all to fix my mistakes,” Lark sighs.
“Brother, what are you talking about?”
Lark rubs the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes for a second. “You know damn well what I’m talking about. Don’t act all psychiatrist on me! Trying to get me to talk about my fears and admit my own issues when they are obvious.” Sparrow gives Lark a blank look, so Lark looks his brother dead in his eyes and continues talking, “I”m the one who stabbed dad. I’m the one who allowed the Doodler into our world. This is all my fault!”
“Lark, we were kids!”
“Stop saying we! This wasn’t one of Lark and Sparrow’s wacky pranks. It was just me.”
“That’s not what I remember. I knew you had the knife. I got dad to lower his defenses. We both heard Willy’s message spell. We were both the Lord of Chaos.” It is silent once again for a few minutes. Lark pulls out a cigarette. A light turns on in a neighbor’s house. Sparrow reaches out to to put a hand on his brother’s shoulder but stops mid motion as he thinks better of it. He can tell that his brother needs space. Sparrow starts walking toward the backyard, where they can get a bit more privacy. When he gets to the gate he holds the gate open for his brother and nods his head singling to follow him. Lark, knowing he still doesn’t have the keys to the van, looks briefly off into the distance toward the direction of the junkyard and sighs and follows his brother.
Sparrow looks up at the sky briefly, puts his hands in his pockets, before saying, “If anyone is to blame it is our grandfather. Had we not gone to that other world, none of this would have happened.”
“Even if we move past whose fault it is, everyone else has a reason to move on.”
“Jesus Lark. Back on this shit. You could move on too. You could call up Hunter right now and I genuinely believe he would love to hear from you. If we,” Sparrow motions toward the house, “aren’t enough.”
“Sparrow, you really grew up to be a lot like dad. I know you had that whole love wolf thing and you weren’t cursed like I was by that stupid deck, but I really did not think you were as naive as him. What am I supposed to say to Hunter? Sorry babe, I was going through some mental blocks due to some trauma but I have been working on it and I really care about you still. Please take me back, I was the happiest I have been in a long long time when I was with you. My trauma you ask? Oh it was nothing, just dealing with the time I stabbed my father with a kitchen knife and summoned this Eldritch god of Chaos, you know the thing that turned the sky red, after we got back from another plane of existence that we were summoned to by our evil grandfather who was using magic and our essence to be immortal.”
“I mean, I wasn’t that dramatic when I told Rebecca but yes. Honesty is the foundation for a good relationship. And if you are uncomfortable with that, you could tell the half truth like Grant did with Marco.”
“It doesn’t matter, I don’t want to risk his life.”
“So his life matters but yours does not?”
“My life matters to the point I stop the Doodler.”
“Jesus Lark. We are back to square one.”
“Cause there are no other angles, Sparrow. It is my fault the Doodler is here so I need to stop it. Why are you trying to stop me?”
“Because I don’t want to lose my brother.”
“Well I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
“Like what?”
Lark takes a drag of his cigarette, “Empty.”
He is drawn out of that memory when Sparrow says something that he doesn’t catch. He doesn’t bother asking his brother to repeat what he said. Sparrow has already drunk their entire supply of ‘emergency alcohol’. Most of what Sparrow says will be random gibberish.
All Lark can do now is let the feeling of emptiness wash over him. He knows the emptiness isn’t because of this incursion, he has felt this way ever since the day they were planning on watching the minions movie. The intense anger he felt toward his dad was replaced by this emptiness as soon as he had finished throwing up the static that eventually turned into the Doodler.
His only hope to end this empty feeling was to hope that Normal can enact code purple. What ever was code purple? Lark tried to remember but the incursion and this cell was making his memory foggy.
“Focus, Lark, focus.”
Lark really had never thought the other dads would want to help. But here they are in their new headquarters of D.A.D.D.I.E.S. going through their dads’ stuff.
“I told you, you don’t have to do this alone brother,” Sparrow says to Lark patting him on his shoulder before picking up another box and taking it over towards a storage closet. Their father’s were a mess and Lark had never really cared enough before this to organize the place, but when the other dads insisted on helping out, this was the first thing they wanted to do.
Logically Lark knows that his brother is right, he doesn’t have to do this alone. He wasn’t the only one who had trauma to work through because of their grandfathers. This didn’t lessen the guilt he felt.
“Hey, Lark, do you know what’s on these tapes?”
“Nah, never seen them before,” he says walking over to Terry.
“I will take those,” Nicholas says from behind them, snatching them from Terry’s hand.
“Just plug them into the main screen,” Sparrow says.
“It isn’t working. I’ll just go quickly and put them on the TV in the other room and report back if it’s anything interesting,” Nicholas states, already walking out of the room.
“What if it’s dangerous?” Grant chimes in.
“Okay even more of a reason. Are any of you half demons that live in hell already for half the year?” They all look at Nicholas and he shrugs, “Didn’t think so.”
He hasn't gone long, maybe 5, 10 minutes tops. “So I think we will all need to watch these. There’s a section of this tape for each of us and it’s uh pretty damn important. I only watched mine. I think it's crucial we only watch our section based on what I was told.”
“Alrighty Lark and I will go next,” Lark remembers Sparrow saying.
“Actually, there seems to be one separate for each of you,” Nicholas admits. Sparrow gives his brother a raised eyebrow. They were so often considered one person it was weird that here of all places they weren’t. So Sparrow gives his brother’s shoulder a squeeze and walks towards the room that Nicholas had just walked out of.
When Sparrow walks out, it’s already odd that he doesn’t meet Lark’s gaze. Instead he goes down and sits at what they know to be their father’s desk, as evidenced by the dry oats in a reusable snack bag. Instead of talking to his brother, Lark looks toward Grant and Terry who motion it's all his and he starts walking to the door himself.
Upon entering the room, it is clear this had become a storage closet of sorts for their fathers. Perhaps at one point, with the previous owners, it was a small conference room. There is an old fashioned tv sitting on a cart like a teacher would roll into school when they didn’t feel like actually teaching and it was paused on none other than Henry Oak’s face. Lark grabs one of the old office chairs from the side, slides it over in front of the tv, sits in it backwards so that his muscular thighs straddle the back of the chair, and hits play.
“Hey Lark, or at least I hope I’m talking to you, Lark and just you Lark. This shouldn’t be heard,” Henry starts before shaking his head slightly and starting over. “I made one of these for your brother as well. I wanted to address both of you separately. I want to start off with an apology, it is my fault entirely that we kind of dropped off but you seemed like you needed space so I wanted to give that to you. I was trying to respect the boundaries you were setting but I see in hindsight that I wish I had tried harder to be there for you, and your brother. You both really grew into your own characters but really, you both were always different, unique. I always loved how strong you were, Lark and unafraid. But soft for those you loved, like Sparrow. I’m getting on a tangent here,” tape Henry runs his hand through his curly hair. It’s still blond but it’s flecked with gray strands, showing Lark that this video isn’t that old.
“There is a reason for this video. In case the other dads and I fail in stopping the Doodler, we needed a back up plan. I hope you never see this, from the bottom of my heart, I hope that we don’t involve you kids. You suffered enough because of us and your grandfathers, but some of the other dads don’t really see another choice at the moment, so we settled on making these videos. Should something happen to us, maybe you will find them.
I need to tell you about something we are working on. It is called Code Purple. Glenn thought it would be a funny call back to the robes your… your grandfathers wore in Faerun. There are four parts to Code Purple and each of you kids, Grant, Terry Jr., Sparrow, and yourself are to learn one of these four parts. It is imperative that until it is absolutely necessary, none of you tell each other your part of the plan. If we can reach Nick in hell we will be leaving him some additional steps that he can help with. For your part of Code Purple, there is a machine we are building, it is in the archives of D.A.D.D.I.E.S.. It is called the amplifier. It will allow you to use the Doodler’s energy for your own means. This could mean opening portals or closing portals to satisfy your own means. It is missing a couple of parts still, if you look in my desk, you will see what looks like a normal shopping list but using an anagram decoder you can figure out what the parts the machine still needs.
I want you to know that this is a last resort. That I hope you never even see this video let alone have to use Code Purple. But if something happens to me, us, I have a feeling that you will insist on being involved in fighting this. I have a feeling you think this is your fault, I know I struggle with that a lot. Please remember, that this is not your fault. None of us blame you, I only blame myself, it is my fault entirely. I really let you down as your father bud. I wish I had tried harder to make sure you realized I truly believe what I am saying. I wish I had tried harder to help guide you as you were growing up. Well, anyway, I love you little birdie.”
The tape automatically pauses on Henry’s smiling face. For a second, Lark thinks that something is wrong with the tape, it’s fuzzy and blurred. Was it set to self-destruct? Oh … oh.. oh . He just can’t see because he’s crying.
And in that moment of waking from this memory, Lark realized he didn’t want to die feeling this way, and he wished he had a cigarette.