Chapter Text
Rule 1: Don't get too attached
Izzy Hands fucking HATED State Bonnet. Hated him in every way possible, even more so after Ed just fucking… fucking MELTED after he came crawling back. It's pathetic. Humiliating. And the only thing that keeps Ed content. And keeping his Captain content, that was Izzy's job.
That'd always been his problem. He worshipped Blackbeard. He thought he despised Ed, that soft, weak shadow of a man he'd given so much for. But by the time the Kraken was, if not driven out, at least tamed, Izzy had realized he'd rather follow Ed than follow nobody at all.
It was a bitter realization, one that spurred him to yell at the crew even more than usual, but it wasn't surprising either.
His crippled foot was a stark reminder of what the alternative was. He'd give more than one toe for Ed to be happy, but it wasn't high on his list of priorities either.
He was long past not getting too attached, and if seeing Bonnet stick to Ed like that stupid fucking marmalade of his didn't make him want to throw up and stab someone - or himself - at the same time, he might have managed to live with it.
He couldn't kill Bonnet, knowing what it did to Ed. To Blackbeard. But he sure as hell could make things hard for him.
It wasn't like Bonnet wasn't doing the same, even if it was by sheer fucking incompetence, along with his stupid fucking useless crew. The crew that was best represented by Lucius Fucking Spriggs, who had SOMEHOW managed to avoid getting stabbed. Until now.
He was really trying though.
"Hey, babe. OW!" Lucius staggered back, rubbing his shin where Izzy's cane had hit him. "Now that was not necessary, was it now?"
"What do you want, Spriggs?"
Lucius gave him a smile as if Izzy wasn't the closest human equivalent of a rabid raccoon about to bite him. "Captain wants to see you. Both of them," he added with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"I only got one captain," Izzy snarled. "And weren't you supposed to take stock? Get back to it, you useless rat!"
Lucius evaded his cane entirely too nonchalantly, but Izzy was too busy to follow up with a more pointed blow. It had been a week since Blackbeard had called him to the captain's cabin. If anything, Izzy had been running the ship on his own, with Bonnet - ever so chipper - giving off his useless comments.
Izzy stopped before the door to listen. The captain's cabin was mercifully quiet. He wasn't sure if he wouldn't spontaneously disembowel himself if he saw Blackbeard and Bonnet canoodling.
He knocked, twice. Short, military knocks.
"Come in, mate."
Before Izzy could hold out any hope for Bonnet to be blissfully absent, he'd opened the door and stepped in.
Bonnet was not absent. Physically, he was very much present. Mentally however, he might just have missed the entire English Navy parading in front of them. They might have missed him too, wrapped in more ridiculously fancy blankets than Izzy had seen stolen in some better raids.
Covered in silk blankets, and sobbing like a little girl.
"Come here," Blackbeard ordered. And it was Blackbeard. He didn't even have to look into his eyes to see that familiar steel.
Izzy obeyed immediately, still recovering from the sight. He'd known Bonnet had been a fucking baby, a weakling, a pathetic little twat . But he'd also been remarkably resilient to Izzy's best attempts to push his buttons, so seeing him like this was… confusing. And slightly annoying, because of course now Edward had nothing better to do than comfort his boyfriend instead of, for example, running his damn ship. Or worrying about their water running low, or the English-
Edward pushed a piece of paper into his hands. Izzy stared down at it as if it was perhaps a poisonous snake. Now how the fuck had they even gotten this-
"Read it. I need to know what it says."
Izzy complied. Reading to Blackbeard was a routine he'd- missed? Perhaps?
Whether or not it had been intimate in a way he found hard to describe.
His duty.
His eyes flitted over the paper, struggling to decipher the stupid, posh handwriting.
"What. Is. It." Edward - no Blackbeard - was almost growling.
"'S a report," he said. "Or more like a warning I recon. 'bout a pirate attack on a British merchant ship. They got raided and somehow the passenger's kids must've run off or gotten stuck on the pirate ship. Fuck if I know why they'd do that."
"Why'd they think they didn't get kidnapped?", Blackbeard asked.
"No ransom demand. So far."
He read a little further and that's when the penny dropped, along with his eyebrows hitting his hairline. "Alma and Louis Bonnet."
"Oh," Edward said. Then, more quietly: " Oh ." Edward, not Blackbeard.
"We have to find them!" Bonnet's pathetic, high-pitched whine made Izzy jump.
"Where did you even GET this?" Izzy waved the paper in the air as if it could give him answers.
Bonnet's brats were the least of his problems right now.
"Lucius picked it up on that English vessel we raided last week," Edward answered. Oh, so he had been paying attention. That was good to know.
"With all due respect-"
"Which ship?" Edward interrupted.
Izzy scowled down at the paper. He considered claiming he couldn't find the name. He could read, yes, but not nearly as well as a fucking ponce like Bonnet. And to be fair, the handwriting was a nightmare, even worse than that prick Spriggs'. But maybe then Edward would dismiss him, or even worse, give him that disappointed look while he did so.
Useless old Izzy, not even good enough to read simple letters anymore.
"The Kingston."
Edward didn't need to tell him what to do. Izzy already knew. Every cell in his body was against it, they had enough on their hands, but who was he to deny Blackbeard anything?
He was his first mate, and he would move the fucking earth for him if need be. Which didn't mean he'd be happy about it.
"Aye, Captain."
Izzy stalked out of the room without gracing Bonnet with another glance. He didn't need to see Edward comfort the stupid ponce,
- like they used to do when they were young, just Ed and Izzy -
to see how low Blackbeard had sunk.
The crew on deck nearly jumped into the shitty rigging as Izzy stormed on deck.
"Get moving, you lazy fucks. We're sailing to Nassau."