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Toya didn’t know what to expect when Akito asked him to spend his birthday together with him. Sure, it wasn’t the first birthday the two of them spent together, but it was the first birthday they spent together since Vivid BAD SQUAD was formed. While Akito wasn’t one for big gestures, Toya couldn’t say the same about An. And if An was planning something, Kohane was definitely there to help her.
As anxious as a part of him felt with everything being so new, another part of him was feeling grateful for not having to spend his birthday alone with his father anymore. Birthday or not, Toya remembered the times when he had to spend his days from morning until late at night practicing the piano or the violin until he almost collapsed. They were old memories, old wounds which he wanted to tell himself were long closed, but sometimes they still resurfaced.
A squeeze on his hand brought him back to reality, a slightly worried looking Akito standing in front of him, holding his hand.
“You okay? You spaced out there for a moment.”
Right, before heading to Weekend Garage Akito wanted to take him somewhere else first. Despite Toya asking him where they were going, his partner was set on not telling him anything until they were there.
“It’s nothing, just thinking how different this feels from my previous birthdays.” Toya shook his head, squeezing Akito’s hand in return reassuringly. When Akito just slightly tilted his head in confusion, his frown deepening, Toya couldn’t help but let a small smile form on his face before speaking up again. “Don’t worry, it’s a good ‘different’.”
His partner slowly nodded, looking convinced, before releasing his hand, making Toya immediately miss his warmth.
“Good, because we’re here.”
At Akito’s words he looked around, taking in his surroundings. For a split second he couldn’t understand why his partner took him here, as at first glance everything looked like a normal street with nothing special around it, but then realization hit him. When Akito saw recognition on Toya’s face, a grin started growing on his face.
“This is…”
“Where we first met.” Akito ended for him, nodding. For a moment he didn’t say anything, letting silence engulf them. Toya could see a multitude of emotions crossing Akito’s face, and he understood that he wasn’t finished, that there was more he wanted to say, so he stayed silent, letting him find his words. It was weird, there was nothing unusual happening, but Toya could still feel his heart rate picking up in anticipation as Akito’s face softened, before he closed his eyes.
“I remember wanting to find a place to practice. I wasn’t paying much attention around me, the street was busy, people were loud…But suddenly a voice stood out to me out of everyone else.” Akito’s smile was growing as he was talking and Toya couldn’t help but wonder if he was picturing the whole event in his head again. “I remember…everything around me suddenly going quiet, your voice being the only thing I was able to hear.” he slowly raised his hand, clutching his hoodie before continuing. “I remember thinking ‘Ah…this is it. This is who I was searching for.’ as my heart was racing like crazy hearing you sing.” he opened his eyes, a serious look plastered on his face even as his smile never left. “This is where my dream stopped feeling so far out of reach. This is where my dream stopped being ‘my dream’ and started being ‘our dream’. This is where my future started feeling more clear than ever because of you.”
Toya felt like his breath was knocked out of his chest. For once it wasn’t him not knowing how to put his feelings into words anymore because he knew this feeling all too well, but Akito’s words making him feel overwhelmed. This was unlike him. He never said big speeches like this, so Toya found himself feeling lost as his heart threatened to jump out of his chest.
Akito didn’t seem to mind though, placing his hand on Toya’s back and pushing him slightly towards a pillar at the edge of the street, before scratching the back of his head looking down in embarrassment.
“It isn’t much, and I haven’t drawn anything in so long that this might just suck, but…” he raised his head again, making eye contact with Toya, seemingly determined. “Considering everything that happened, nothing felt more fitting than this.”
Breaking eye contact with Akito and looking towards the pillair, Toya could feel a lump form in his throat. There, in the middle of the pillar, was a drawing of two dogs, one orange and one dark blue, their foreheads joined together as two mics stood above them. He opened his mouth, wanting to speak up, but Akito raised his hand, stopping him.
“This isn’t all.” motioning towards Toya to follow him, they rounded the pillar where he was met with another drawing. Two more dogs, one pink and one a lighter blue, positioned in such a way that if you circled the pillar it looked like they were running towards the other two dogs. “Your voice was beautiful when I first heard it, but…it felt strained, unsure, like something was holding you back. Now though…there is none of that. Whenever we sing together with An and Kohane, it feels like you’re finally free to enjoy the music you put words to.” closing his fist and pressing it against Toya’s chest, Akito finished. “We’ll surpass RAD WEEKEND together, the four of us. And after that, who knows, but I know that whatever we’ll do, we’ll be together.”
Toya didn’t know how long he stayed silent after that, just staring at Akito unable to say anything. At his partner’s silence, the red head broke eye contact, scratching his head again all embarrassed.
“B-But I’ve only been talking without stopping, and this really isn’t much especially for a special day like today, it’s just a drawing, but-”
Akito immediately stopped talking, closing his mouth when Toya engulfed him in a hug, clutching his jacket as he rested his head on his shoulder. No matter how hard it was for Toya to express his feelings, there was one thing he never found hard to say. It was a feeling that had engulfed his heart since Akito started talking. It was suffocating, but never in a scary way. On the contrary, it was comforting. Even as his voice was slightly muffled by Akito’s jacket, even as it was strained from him being unable to keep his tears at bay anymore, it was still so easy to say:
“I love you.”
Akito sighed shakingly, wrapping his arms around Toya and letting out a small chuckle.
“I love you too. Happy birthday.”
They stood like that for a while, basking in each other’s warmth, Akito shielding Toya from prying eyes as he let his tears out. The day just started, but Toya knew he could already call this birthday the best birthday he ever had. Once he calmed down, Akito hesitantly pushed on his shoulders, raising his hand to wipe his wet cheeks before speaking up.
“Let’s go to Weekend Garage. I heard the girls and Ken-san are preparing cookies for you.”
That made Toya chuckle lightly. “Isn’t that supposed to be a surprise?”
Akito just huffed, dropping his hand to engulf Toya’s own before tugging on it, leading him down the street. “You already expected it either way, don’t think I didn’t notice.”
Toya didn’t say anything, chuckling again as he rushed to walk by Akito’s side, all traces of the bad birthdays he had in the past leaving his mind as warmth filled his chest. As Akito started talking about how at first he felt scared leaving the cookies baking to An, but then Kohane reassured him she would keep things in check, Toya finally felt like the future wasn’t such a scary thing anymore as long as he had his family by his side.