Work Text:
1
It was a particularly heavy day. Although it had stopped raining for about an hour, the clouds were once again laden with rain and so black that, in comparison, a starless night was just a pale distant, scattered reflection in another galaxy.
The sky was hungry: its stomach did nothing but gurgle like a ferocious beast that had been fasting for too many days, eager to sink its fangs into the jugular of a big prey.
Ryoken actually didn't care much about the weather conditions; what he cared about most was being sure that Yusaku, during the storm,
(because a real storm was coming)
would be all right.
Then everything else might as well disappear or be submerged in the icy water, he didn't care one bit.
At that moment he wished fervently that surreal magics such as teleportation existed for real: by that time he would already be home at Yusaku's instead of in front of a red light that just didn't want to know about shining green again. He would have already returned to those four walls that were so comfortable
(and they were especially so because he shared them with Yusaku)
and would have been delighted with his hugs, his kisses, his voice, his presence.
(Of everything. He would have blissed himself with everything, every thing, every smallest atom of Yusaku's essence).
Ryoken was not an impatient person; he was often just the one who listened to his neighbor without ever tiring, or he was able to sustain endless discussions that seemed to lead nowhere without his savoir-faire becoming smeared with the negativity that certain words could carry.
But at that moment his nerves were put to the test: if the light did not turn green again within three seconds, he would surely curse.
2
In the end he had not cursed, but he had still bitten down hard on his lower lip to prevent unkind words from coming out of his mouth. He had had to wait an all-too-delayed and protracted time before the green shone again a few meters above, but he had finally been able to resume the journey that would shortly lead him home.
When he arrived in front of his own home, it had recently begun to rain. The droplets of water seemed small, timid, even frightened at times, so petty and bland that they created more of a sense of annoyance rather than resignation that on that spring day one could not enjoy the afternoon outdoors and had to hole up indoors.
When Ryoken closed the door behind him, fortunately not at all soaked and only a little chilled, he was greeted by Yusaku who in all likelihood
(indeed, he was certain of it)
had woken up at that very moment, was lazily rubbing his eyes and trying in vain to hold back yawns due to a sudden and utterly frantic awakening.
His hair was ruffled and the comfortable suit he was wearing was crumpled in several places, a sign that he must have been resting either on the couch or trying to find a comfortable position in the armchair. Just realizing that he had most likely felt so tired that he didn't even have the strength to climb the stairs to the bedroom and lie down under the comforting blankets made something crackle in the meanderings of Ryoken's heart, a sob of displeasure that branched out throughout his veins and arteries.
«Welcome back...» Yusaku greeted him with a dull, downcast gaze and a tone of voice so subtle as to be almost inaudible
(as if a string had tightened tightly around his vocal cords, breaking them in half).
Ryoken immediately sensed something that was not at all welcome within those four walls: the guilt that Yusaku was feeling for allowing himself hours of sleep that should have been spent instead on study and household chores or any other activity deemed useful in that society that never slept.
Because according to the general logic of those who were not emotionally subdued by the weather, it certainly would not have been a little rain that would have prevented the proper functioning of the mechanism of the brain, and thus the overabundance of melatonin made no sense to exist or to affect an individual's good will in performing his or her duties.
«Thank you» Ryoken replied with a smile and imprinting in his tone of voice all his own intentions not to burden Yusaku further. He knew that asking him how his day had gone would not have been the best move to make at that moment: he was aware that the weight Yusaku carried on his shoulders
(and especially inside his head)
would increase even more, sinking him even further.
Reason why he decided to go for something that in its simplicity and innocence would make them both relax.
«What do you want to eat for dinner?» he asked in fact, trying to dilute the situation as best he could.
Yusaku stiffened and gasped, clenching his hands into fists.
«Forgive me...» he whispered, as if speaking louder risked awakening a dangerous and malignant entity. «I guess you must be tired after all those hours of work ... and maybe you just wished to go home and relax, and instead... instead I wasn't able to get anything done, not even to make dinner...»
At that moment Ryoken mentally called himself an idiot: he had completely removed the fact that it was Yusaku's responsibility to prepare dinner that day. With that question, Ryoken hoped to lift Yusaku's spirits a bit by involving him in a domestic and intimate activity that would allow them to converse and increasingly shorten their distance.
(Ryoken certainly did not deny that in the course of preparing dinner, he would not mind performing some romance towards Yusaku, such as hugging his hips and gently kissing his neck while they waited for the water to boil or savoring the sweetness of his lips that would substitute for whatever flavor Yusaku wanted him to taste to see whether or not the cooking and texture of the rice noodles or any other noodle format would be okay).
It was at that moment that he also returned to hearing all the noises coming from the outside world, which was harassed again by the most wrathful weather. The raindrops that crashed against their abode seemed to be enmeshed by a malignant and ancient force, a negative power that did nothing but annihilate Yusaku even more, as if it wanted to amputate any kind of emotion from him without first anesthetizing him.
«Yusaku...»
«I tried, really... I tried with all my might, but it was useless» Yusaku continued, who had begun to tremble. He looked up at Ryoken and their eyes met for the first time in hours
(and no, that was not how Ryoken remembered them that morning, when he had greeted Yusaku with a kiss before going to work).
«I wanted to do a lot of things today, such as to start studying again to catch up on the exams I left behind or to clean the house a little, especially the living room in case we were to have guests over the weekend, and then today it was my turn to make dinner but I couldn't get anything done because ever since the sky overshadowed the first time and it started raining, I felt so tired, so exhausted and and now I feel so useless because in all these hours I have never been able to react, I have slept but I feel almost more tired than before. I'm so sorry...»
It was as if Yusaku was about to disappear at any moment since his body was weakened and exhausted. As if he was about to be swallowed up by a giant black hole made of clouds laden with aseptic, lacerating water.
He let a small sob escape and then brought his hand in front of his mouth, lowering his gaze again in a desperate attempt not to allow the tears to leak out, unlike the rain that harassed the outside world without posing any problem whatsoever. It was a hot, salty cry, a veritable ocean of pain and bitterness.
«Hey» Ryoken approached him, gracefully slipping his hand in front of his mouth, then embracing him with loving gentleness. «You are not to blame,» he whispered, trying to support him in every way possible and imaginable, «you did your best. And that's okay».
He gently took Yusaku's face in his hands and then just as gently placed his lips on his, engaging him in a kiss that tasted of empathy and understanding.
Yusaku slowly began to relax, to let himself go to something beautiful and to lose little by little the stiffness in his muscles. Eventually he let himself go completely, even finding the boldness to deepen that contact, which became even bolder and at the same time intimate.
«Always remember...» Ryoken whispered once the kiss was over, «... that after so much rain we will always be lucky enough to breathe in the smell of wet earth» Yusaku concluded for him, who by now knew that saying by heart
(those were always the words Ryoken whispered to him to make him feel better when physical and emotional discomfort slowly tortured him during such adverse days).
«Exactly». Ryoken smiled and Yusaku smiled with him.
«Shall we cook dinner together?» Ryoken then proposed, kissing him on the forehead.
Yusaku's smile softened even more. «With pleasure».
3
It happened while Ryoken was washing the dishes and Yusaku was drying them. It ceased to rain gradually, as if the last drops spilled were chronic laggards who had remembered only at the last that they were to fall at some unspecified point in the world.
Everything quieted down, and as the rain let out its last sighs and groans, both Ryoken and Yusaku dried their hands and then headed for the window in the living room and opened it without any more fear that clumsy, icy drops might sneak into the house.
The moment the cold, biting air tickled his cheeks, Yusaku barely shivered. So it was that Ryoken hugged him from behind in such a way as to warm him and stand beside him, letting go of all the heaviness and pain of that day.
The smell of wet earth pricked their nostrils within moments, gracefully replacing the aseptic air that danced around them
(a loving and comforting caress that opposed all the harshness of the world).
Ryoken loosened the embrace to allow Yusaku to breathe in the scent of the wet earth, an effluence of infinite shades of life.
(Just as the soil regained its fertility, similarly Yusaku's green eyes regained that glimmer of strength that could keep him from falling).
Everything in the universe was about to regain its balance.
4
«How are you?» Ryoken asked as he closed the window.
Yusaku roused himself from the numbness that enveloped his limbs whenever he breathed in the effluence of wet earth.
«Much better now» he replied, beginning to shift his body weight from one foot to the other. He bit his lower lip, barely blushing. «I just... well... will you give me a hug?»
(I need it).
Ryoken let loose a smile filled with love. «As long as you want» he said, before holding Yusaku tightly to him.
5
«I love you, you know?»
«I know. And I love you, too. And I swear I won't be a burden anymore–»
«Don't even joke. You are not a burden. There may be a thousand more storms, but–»
«... but in the end we will always get to breathe in the smell of wet earth».
«Always».
«Always».
(Forever).