Work Text:
Tommy reads the tweet again
@Ranaltboo
I mean how many more clues can I give
I
@Ranboosaystuff
/srs.
Ranboo had come out.
@Tommyinnit
Happy to be your token straight friend Ranboo :D
And Tommy had felt pressured, and once again ended up lying to everyone.
-
It had been a few minutes since Ranboo had posted the original tweet, and Tommy had yet to stumble upon it before Tubbo called.
“Hello Tubbo!” He had said.
“Tommy look on twitter! Ranboo actually came out to everyone!”
The way Tubbo had said everyone, It was obvious that Tubbo and others had actually been told. Maybe Ranboo had meant to tell Tommy or thought he had already told him, but Tommy just wasn’t around. The point is, it was never made official for Tommy, he had to just infer and assume based on what he knew of the dirty blonde.
Tommy pulled up the tweet.
“Oh” he said. “Wow congrats to him.”
“Yeah it’s great! And think of all the more jokes we can do now! Oh oo, you should totally reply back to him like the others, make a joke, about….. About being the odd one out in the group!”
Tommy immediately could assume what he meant by “odd”, straight. Tommy also wondered what group he was talking about, Bench trio, or cricket crew. It wasn’t that long ago that Amisey, Billzo, and Freddie weren’t considered part of their group. He kinda misses the old times, where he had more attention from his two besties.
Tubbo wasn’t trying to be mean, but he did make the original suggestion that made Tommy feel like he had to make the tweet.
And that was it.
-
Now Tommy is up late at night, watching the numbers skyrocket.
Knowing that he should have hope that Ranboo and him could actually work out now. Ranboo isn’t straight! Hooray!
But all Tommy can think about is how much he wishes he didn’t have this stupid crush on the American. I hate you He thinks, But I also love you.
He thinks about how he’s horribly messed up and the topic of his sexuality has just become a big joke now. Every time he tried to make advances on Ranboo, people thought it was a bit, a joke. Tommy literally tried to kiss Ranboo! But no, nothing.
Ranboo had also attached to his tweet all these pictures and clips of the guys he simped for, and Tommy wasn’t any of them, couldn’t be them, so there was no chance Ranboo would want him.
Tommy didn’t want to be hurt again.
First he was hurt by his first girlfriend, a long time friend, breaking up with him when he was 16, and then it was gaining a crush on Ranboo. Tommy and Ranboo had seemed to share something special during September during Ranboo’s six month trip. Tommy really thought they were alluding to something, he even thought for a moment they might kiss, but then they didn’t. Tubbo had called them, and Ranboo got up and walked away, acting like it didn’t happen for the rest of the trip.
Tommy didn’t want to be hurt again. He also wondered how hard it would be for him to fall in love again though.
Tommy was asexual and demiromantic, he only developed feelings for people after forming an emotional bond with them. Both his past crushes had been friends for at least a year before he developed feelings for them.
He was 16 and talking to Wilbur about his lack of love life, when the older suggested he was just a late bloomer. A month later Tommy got feelings for an old friend of his, Emma, who he went to school with. Wilbur had congratulated Tommy. Tommy and Emma dated for a while, but ultimately she broke up with him for being ‘Too quirky and obnoxious.’ and said he ‘made a better funny friend.’
Tommy had cried to Wilbur, months passed and Wilbur said he could just still be getting over the break up, but then when it had almost been two years since the break up, Tommy and Wil had a chat about Tommy’s love life. Tommy actually told Wil about his distaste for sexual relatioships, to which Wil suggested he might be asexual. Wil then also suggested he could be demiromantic possibly, and Tommy felt it was right. Especially with his crush that had developed on Ranboo, that not even Wilbur knew about.
So yeah. He feels like the odds are not in his favor for finding love. It’d be awkward to tell any of his friends he has a crush on them. He doesn’t think a lot of normal people would be willing to commit to a relationship that had to be friends for a super long time, and friends to dating always felt weird in his head.
Tommy just sighs looking at his phone screen, as people congratulate Ranboo.
He ultimately decides he can’t take it. So turns off his phone and goes to bed, hoping to ignore his feelings and sadness.
The next day Tommy is on instagram, and sees Ranboo’s story where he clarifies that he is techically unlabeled, but is ok with being called gay.
It makes Tommy question his own labels beyond being asexual and demiromantic. What is his sexual orientation? Ultimately after several minutes of thinking about it, he just isn’t sure. He thinks all sorts of people look appealing, but that's not the same as attraction. He’s only ever been attracted to two people, one a girl, and the other a boy. So he decides that he doesn’t have an answer, and his sexual orientation will remain unlabeled for now.
He tries to imagine what people might say if he tried to tell them… Would people even take him seriously, or would they think of it as another joke, a bit. Curse his life.
He flops down on his couch, and looks for something else to take his mind off with.
In the end the thoughts of Ranboo are just too strong. And Tommy just can’t get his mind to stop thinking about it all.
Ranboo had such a funny great coming out, and Tommy doesn’t think he could ever have that. He’s known as the wife-haver, he makes sex jokes, how much would they hate him learning that that persona just isn’t him. He feels like he’s lied to so many people.
While his mind is berating him with how much of an awful person he is, he stumbles onto a post about Dream. About Dream’s coming out, and how it didn’t gain much fraction and attention. Tommy isn’t sure he remembers Dream coming out, and so starts to feel a bit guilty.
He begrudging logs onto twitter, trying to ignore everything else and just go to Dream’s page. Once there, he searches for the tweet, and then he finds it.
He looks it over, and yeah, it isn’t super obvious, but even he can tell what Dream is saying and alluding to. Tommy lets himself breath realizing the posting date and that the only reason he hadn’t seen it was because it was/is when he’s been avoiding twitter.
He feels pretty bad for Dream though. Dream is literally living what he just feared. People not believing you, thinking it’s a joke, not getting the reaction and reception that you deserve.
He decided to send a message to dream.
From Tommyinnit to Dream:
Hey Dream, sorry I’m late, but congrats on coming out :D
He expects to just turn his phone off and try to go back to bed, he doesn’t have anything else to do, but then his phone notification goes off.
Dream: Thanks so much Tommy :) I really appreciate it.
And because Dream is right here, and because maybe he’d understand, Tommy decides to try.
Tommy: Hey, do you think we could chat real quick?
Dream: Sure :)
Tommy puts his phone on speaker, and sits it on his coffee table as he sits himself up.
Finally the call goes through.
“Hey Tommy!” Dream says. “Whats up?”
“Oh hi Dream” Tommy says. He’s suddenly very nervous and doesn’t quite know how he wants to go about this. “I hope it isn’t insensitive, and if it is then you don’t have to, but I wanted to ask about… about your coming out.”
“Oh?” Dream replies. “ Wh-what do you mean?”
“Sorry again.” Tommy says. “I just mean-, well I mean a couple of things. First I guess, how did you know it was time to come out?”
“Oh ok, I see. Well for me, the fans had been asking and speculating for a long time, and I wanted to clear some things up. I also, idk, just felt ready to tell people, wanted to get it out there.”
“And how did it feel when they didn’t listen?” Tommy asked.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean that people didn’t really give you the recognition you deserved. People seemed to view it as another joke meme tweet, how do you deal with that?”
“Oh. Well that is a tricky one.” Tommy can hear Dream breathe from the other side. “Well of course I wanted a good reaction, and to get the recognition, but I can’t control how people react. I can’t just sit here and be mad and sad people didn’t react the way I wanted, I have to savor the few that did react in kindness, and move on. It sucks that they couldn’t all take me seriously, but I just have to accept it and move on. It’s their problem if they can’t listen when I’ve literally spelt it out. It also sucks that a bunch of people are just truthing the dnf now, haha. But I mean thats kinda our fault for playing with that meme so much.”
Tommy bites his lip. “And will you just let people continue with the dnf truthing? Or will you try to correct them? How do you tell the fans to stop doing something when you created or played into the joke?”
“Wow wow wow, Tommy. What's this all about? To answer your question, I can try to tell the fans to calm down, but once again I can’t control what they do, just say my piece. And I don’t really mind the meme as long as people don’t go too far or do anything me or George are uncomfortable with. Thats all you can do, tell them and hope that they’ll listen. Now can you tell me what brought this all on?”
Tommy breathed. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to, but he kinda felt empty, so why not. And besides, this could be nice, finally telling another person, and he trusted Dream.
“This, this is about me being afraid Dream.” He says. “This is about me being angry and sad about the image I created for myself, and that now I can’t escape it without people thinking it's all some joke.”
He hears Dream humming in assurance on the other side.
“Can I tell you some things Dream?” He decides to ask.
“Yeah. Anything Tommy, I care about you.”
Tommy sadlley chuckles. “Oh well ok then, thanks I guess.”
He breaths. “So the thing is, the persona I created isn't all that much like me. Like yeah of course we share similarities, it's still me, but some big factors of it, they’re all lies.”
“How so?” Dream asks.
“Well like, and ok this is hard to say, I haven't told really many other people.”
“Oh well don’t feel pressured to tell me anything you don’t want to Tommy.”
“No, I want to. So like, I’m the wife haver, I make jokes about how I love women, and I have so many wives, and I’m also known for making childish inappropriate jokes, but those, they might not be me. The truth is,... I, I’m asexual, and I’m not exactly straight.”
It’s quiet from the other side, and he’s afraid how Dream might be reacting. This, this much have been a mistake, even Dream can’t believe him.
“I,I guess I’ll just leave now.” He whispers and reaches for his phone.
“ Noo!” Dream yells. “I, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I paused, I , I just couldn’t believe it. I never would have imagined. But, but thank you for telling me Tommy. We, we’re close, but I wouldn’t have imagined you ever coming out to me, especially cause you said you haven't told many people. I’m, I’m here for you bud. I think I get why you were asking these questions now. You’re scared how people might react, if they’ll take you seriously. I get that. But if you do decided to come out, come out for you, not them. Ignore what they say, because there will always be haters.”
Tommy can feel the tears building in his eyes a little. “Thanks Dream. For all of this. I do think it helped a bit.”
“I’m happy. And I’m here for you bro, if you ever need someone to talk to again.”
“Thanks Dream.” And he smiled.
___
Despite the call with Dream going well, Tommy still couldn’t help the fear and sadness he felt for the idea of eventually coming out, as well as his fruitless crush on Ranboo.
It was two days later, that Tommy’s heart broke a little more.
Tommy should have known it was a bad idea to Tune into his crush's stream. It was simply that it was Ranboo’s first day back to streaming in a while as well as the first stream after he had come out, and Tommy really wanted to hear his voice again.
So thats what Tommy did. He layed on his couch and watched Ranboo’s stream from his coffee table. He occasionally just closed his eyes and listened to the other’s strong and comforting voice.
Tommy started nodding off a little when Ranboo was talking about being back in the Uk. Tommy was a little hurt that he wasn’t told, but he was happy that he’d hopefully be able to see him again soon. Tommy smiled upon thinking about seeing the American again. And the oh so far and slim possibility that they could have something like September again.
He thought about and Remembered the older’s long strong arms around him. The warmth and sound of his heart beat as he laid back upon his chest. The sparkle in his eyes as they gazed at each other,upon the sandy beaches in the sunset, and Tommy had really thought there was something. Then the-
“-eah chat I know we’re all very excited about me coming out, and I am too. But I wanted to say that one of the main reasons I did it was 1. Because I felt ready, and 2. Well because there, there’s actually a guy I’m trying to reach out to.”
And Tommy’s eyes flew open upon the American’s words. He turned his head to the stream and stared as the chat blew up and as Ranboo continued to talk about some special guy he was hoping to get with and impress. And just like that, the last tiny sizzling pieces of Tommy’s hope, disappeared down the gutter.
Ranboo had feelings for someone, and now it was for sure that Tommy didn't stand a chance. He quickly sat up and exited the stream, turned off his phone, and stared up upon the ceiling wondering what was next.
Why, why did he have to have this stupid crush. And why did Ranboo have to make him feel like he ever actually had a chance. Why did what happened in September happen.
“I hate you” He whispered, as be began to cry, “ I love you.” He closes his eyes. “I hate that I love you.” And he falls to sleep in his sadness.
He wakes up in the middle of the night, still feeling pretty miserable, and goes to the kitchen to get something to drink. He decides to just a coke, despite considering his birthday beer. He sits on the couch, and opens up his phone which he just left vacant.
He opens up discord, and considers making some messages, which is not the best thing to do when you are in a sleepy almost delirious state. But he is in said state, and is not thinking the clearest.
He’s angry at Ranboo for ever making him think they could be together. He’s angry at the world for just labeling him the ”token straight friend”. He’s angry at Tubbo for prompting him to make that tweet. And he’s angry at himself for making his life this way and not having the courage to speak up when it would have been easier. Now it’s all gone too far, and he doesn’t think there’s any hope for him. So why not just throw it all away, see what happened to him among the raging sea.
First he tells the world.
@Tommyinnit
Boys I’m not straight, also I’m asexual demiromantic
Then, he messages Ranboo.
To Ranboo From Tommy: I like you :(
And then, he deletes twitter, shuts off his phone, and throws it across his apartment, before curling up in his blanket and crying it out on the couch.
____
Little did Tommy know that Twitter is currently blowing up as the “straightest twitch streamer” comes out as not so straight. As his friends are freaking out at the revelation, feeling sorry for how they’d treated the blond in the past. Wilbur and Dream worrying for Tommy and trying to ask him if he’s ok. And Ranboo, staring at the message not being able to believe his eyes.
Tommy lost track of time, crapped up and huddled on his couch. He just wanted to stop thinking of his stupid crush. To stop thinking of Ranboo wrapped around some guy. He wanted to imagine himself happy, but it was just so hard.
Tommy’s schedule was simply sleep, get food, try to stop crying, and sleep some more. He wasn’t really paying attention to the time, just ate when he felt hungry, and he still hadn’t picked his phone up from where he had thrown it.
He hadn’t really considered that people might try or be trying to contact him, worrying about him, or anything. He had just wanted to get it away from himself so it would stop bringing him sadness.
But apparently he had been silent too long. For there was a knocking upon his door.
“Tommy! Tommy! Are you ok!?”
The noise eventually registered to him and he blinked his eyes open.
“Ha?”
“Tommy! Hello?”
He eventually gained enough consciousness and made his way to the door, then struggling to open it.
“Yes, Hello?” He triedly said as he opened the door. But it all went away and his eyes widened upon seeing it was Ranboo who was worriedly waiting there for him.
“Ra-Ranboo. Well hello. Wa-what are you doing here?”
“Tommy.” Ranboo smiled upon seeing him. “Oh that goodness you’re alright, we’ve all been so worried.”
Ranboo seemed to look him over, and Tommy did not quite like that, so he stepped back and furrowed his brows. “Why are people worried about me? And who’s we?”
Ranboo nervously chuckled. “Well just about everyone. Tommy do you have any idea how scared and worried you made us all?”
Tommy shook his head.
Ranboo put his fingers between his hair and began shaking his head. “First you made that tweet coming out to the world, then you sent me that message with the frown, and then you go missing for days and won’t answer to anyone. Of course we are all worried about you!”
Tommy frowns a bit. That does sound pretty bad, and he didn’t mean for it to turn out this way. Didn’t think he would worry anyone. “How long was I gone?” He asks.
“It’s been five days.” Ranboo shakes his head. “Just, thank goodness you’re alright. I’m happy Wilbur finally told me it was ok to come over and try to talk to you.”
“F-five days. Gosh. Haha, Sorry Boob-boi, I wasn’t trying to worry you all, just, needed some space.”
Ranboo frowned at him. “I’m not sure what you were doing counts as “needing some space.” You look a bit like a mess man.”
Tommy then looks at himself, wrapped in a blanket and hasn’t showered in what he now knows is several days. “Ha,” He says. “I guess you’re right. I just, kinda got stuck in my head and emotions.”
Ranboo frowns. “Are you ok Tommy?”
Tommy furrows his brows once more. He can’t take Ranboo being all kind to him, not when Ranboo has someone he’s planning to confess to.
“I. I’m fine Ranboo. You can go home now. I’m fine.”
Tommy attempts to walk back into his apartment and close the door, but Ranboo grabs his arm.
“Tommy wait!!”
Tommy cringed at the contact. It almost burns. He turns back to Ranboo, sadness drawn out on his face.
“What do you want from me?” He says.
Ranboo lets go and steps back, looking remorseful. He he looks really pretty right now, but Tommy can’t fall into it, he has to stay forward.
“I, I wanted to talk to you.” Ranboo says. “About your message.” He smiles.
Tommy crunches his eyes and shakes his head. Arg, his stupid message. What is Ranboo here to say to him about it. Tommy already knew he was going to reject him, he didn’t need to come do it in his face.
“T-Tommy?” Ranboo said. Trying to approach him again and get him to stop shaking his head. He then realizes it probably isn’t best to touch him. “Are you ok Tommy? Was it something I said?”
Tommy stops. And He stares at Ranboo. At the boy he likes, in all his handsome glory, with tears building in his eyes. “It’s you!” He yells. “You coming here and seeing me when I just can’t take it! It hurts so much to see and be near you when I know I’ll never be the one you want! So please just stop hurting me and leave me alone! Go be with your dream guy!”
Tommy starts to sob and hold his head as he cries. He falls down onto the floor, and Ranboo follows in attempt to comfort him.
“Tommy, Tommy.” He says. “Can, Can I touch you?”
Tommy is hesitant, but in the end he nobs and agrees. Ranboo takes his hands and stops him from pulling his hair. Ranboo brings him into a hug and it’s just so warm. Tommy cries, for this is all he wanted, for Ranboo to hold him, to be in his warm embrace and for them to be together, but it was never meant to be.
Or so he thought.
“Tommy,” Ranboo says “You’re my dream guy.” And Tommy looks up at him, and Ranboo is smiling down at him.
“What?” Tommy says in bewilderment.
“I came to say I’m sorry Tommy,” Ranboo says to him. “And that I like you too.”
Tommy just can’t believe what he’s hearing. “But what about everything from September, and how you acted like none of it even happened. You just started totally ignoring me. It left me so confused, I had thought we had something. And, and then you never even told me you were gay, when Tubbo and the others got to know. And then you’re talking about some guy you’re going to ask out, what about him? Stop playing with my heart Ranboo!”
Ranboo puts his finger to Tommy’s lips and shushes him. “Shush.” He charmingly says. “Let me speak. I, I was scared of what happened in September. The moments we shared. I, I thought I was making it all up, and then when we almost kissed, I knew I had gone too far. I tried to ignore it, and you, because I was sure I had made it all up. You were straight, or so I had thought, so we couldn’t be together. Why I didn’t tell you I wasn’t straight myself, well I don’t know, because it felt like to admit one was to admit both, and to tell you that I like you. The guys I’ve been talking about wanting to impress, it’s you Tommy. It’s always been you. “
“I gained the courage, and I decided to come out and try to tell you. And then I see your post on Twitter, and your message to me, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. The wife haver isn’t straight and he likes me? Who would have thought. Who would have thought that I hadn't just made September all up. But then you disappeared Tommy, and we all became so scared that something had happened to you. And I can tell that this has all been so hard and has been weighing on you. And I’m so sorry for brushing you and what we had off. I hope you can forgive me.”
Tommy just had no idea what to think. His brain was struggling to keep up with everything Ranboo was saying. It eventually registers to him, but unfortunately the only thing he can say and feel is. “How do I believe you? How do I know you aren't just playing with my heart?”
Ranboo frowns a little, but the smile comes back right away. He hugs tighter and then turns to look Tommy in the eyes. “Tommy, “ he says. “I would never play with your feelings.”
He then brushes a stya hair out of Tommy’s face. “And would this help you believe me?”
Tommy doesn’t have time to think, because the next thing he knows, he’s being overwhelmed by a kiss from Ranboo. It’s everything he had hoped September would have been, before it all went south. It is so warm, and Ranboo is holding on to his face so tightly yet gently.
Eventually they stop for air, but then Tommy frowns. “But wait, Ranboo, I, I’m asex-”
“Asexual and demromantic, I know, and I don’t acre, I still love you all the same.”
And then Ranboo pulls him into another kiss, which is even better than the last.
Ranboo later helps him clean up, himself and his house. Ranboo shows him his messages, about how worried everyone is for him. He helps him apologize for worrying some people, especially Phil, Wilbur, Tubbo, and Dream.
Ranboo next shows him his tweet, and how supportive all his fans are of his coming out, and all the positive attention it pulled in.
It’s everything past Tommy was scared about and wanted, but right now he doesn’t care.
Tommy is loved, and he loves him back.
Ranboo and Tommy share one more kiss before Tommy goes live.