Chapter Text
"No I'm sorry, just explain it all to me again," Taako said, not looking at his son and his brother in law or his boyfriend on either side of him and looking at the two deputies sitting on the other side of the desk from him, "Where did you find them?"
Dewey shifted uncomfortably in his seat and Roswell fluttered nervously on their own shoulder. The forest ranger was still huddled on a stool in the corner, warming up.
"In Ol' Uncle Joshy's swimming pool sir," Dewey told him, "We had them all checked over by a healer. They're fine now. Lucky it wasn't as cold last night as it has been."
Taako turned to look at Barry, rage burning in his eyes, "and why was my son in a stranger's swimming pool at three in the Fucking morning, in late October, without me even knowing he was out of the house?"
Kravitz and that forest ranger looked on looking just as afraid as the one who was being addressed.
"Okay hang on, I can explain," Barry said.
*
Earlier that night Barry woke up to the sound of his phone vibrating. He squinted through the darkness at the lit-up screen.
Angus.
Hmm
“Hello?” He said quietly, trying not to rouse Lup from her meditation.
“Barry hi uh- I need you to come to the forest…”
Barry was suddenly wide awake, “Why are you in the forest?”
“I uh- I needed to do something.”
“Where are you right now?” He asked, throwing back the covers and sliding his shoes on.
Lup’s eyes fluttered open, brow furrowing, “What's happening?”
“I’m- Excuse me, sir, where is this?”
“Angus is someone with you?”
A deeper voice rumbled from the other side of the phone, indistinct and unfamiliar, then Angus repeated what he’d presumably been told, “It’s 4743 Riverside.”
“Who’s with you?!” Barry demanded.
“It’s jus-” Angus cut off with a scream and the thud of the phone falling, fainter he could hear Angus shout, "No! Quick, get her!"
And the call dropped.
“Angus?!”
“Barry, what is happening?” Lup repeated fear coloring her tone.
“It's Angus, he’s in the forest with some guy, he screamed and the call dropped,” He said getting dressed as fast as he physically could.
“I’ll call ‘ko and See if he knows what's happening, you head for the forest,” Lup said with a frown, picking up her phone from where it was charging and hitting a few buttons
Barry heard it start ringing as he left the room.
The drive over was the longest thirty minutes of Barry’s life.
When he found Angus there were two men with him. They were standing outside a log cabin with darkened windows. Barry drew his wand and pointed it suspiciously at the figures, One was knelt before the boy wrapping his forearm in bandages.
"Whoa there buddy!" The man in the muppet-themed pajama pants and the ranger hat raised a hand and stepped forward.
"Give me my nephew before I end you both where you stand," Barry said feeling his magic wanting to lash out.
"Uncle Barry, no, they're cool!" Angus cried, raising his free hand in a placating gesture
"Barry I'm sorry, I've been trying to get Angus home but he won't go and Taako isn't answering his phone," The kneeling man stood.
"Kravitz?!" Barry said, baffled. The man was wearing an ornate cloak of black feathers.
"Yes, I apologize I was on shift for my second job when I'm afraid I caught Angus. All told I should be arresting him."
"Arresting him?!" Barry cried.
"You got that kinda jurisdiction?" The other man asked, curiously.
"Yes, I am an officer of a legal agency so… technically??"
Angus’s eyes grew wide, "I'm sorry, please don't take me to jail, sir!"
"Oh we don't have a jail, we take offenders to another plane of existence. It's more of a hell situation than a jail situation?" Kravitz said, clearly not hearing himself, and then with a dawning look of horror quickly said, "BUT OF COURSE I WOULD NOT TAKE YOU TO HELL, HOLY SHIT I WOULD NOT DO THAT."
Angus managed a nod, seeming a little freaked out.
Barry shook off whatever that was and extended a hand to his nephew, "Angus, come h-"
Barry didn't get to finish that thought before he was interrupted by the boy crying out, "There! There it is! Come on!!"
He pointed into the sky and then took off running to the dismayed cries of the three men.
“Fuck’s sake kid, not this again, We’ll get her, but you need to stop taking off!” The ranger yelled, running faster than Kravitz or barry but still not gaining on Angus.
Barry knew Angus'd been training with his friends but quite frankly this is ridiculous.
They tore after him following his path through the brush shouting for him.
Easily hopping over a low stone wall Angus continued into a small clearing with a house in it.
He jumped in the air arms out towards a blurred form flying through the air with a cry of, "I got it!" And he began falling—
Barry lunged to catch him and didn't manage to come to a stop before he was in the water.
Followed by two other splashes.
Yard lights flicked on, followed by a bedroom light in the upstairs of the house.
Barry looked from his soaked nephew clutching what appeared to be a struggling mass of bones to his chest, to the PJ ranger, to the drenched birdman and uttered the first question that came into his head, directing it at the ranger man who shockingly seemed to be the most put-together emotionally, "What. The Fuck. Happened?"
"Uh well, we fell into a pool…?" He said looking confused.
Barry pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, "I mean before that. Why was Angus in the woods?"
"Ah that, yeah, okay, hang on, I can explain," He said.
*
Duck Newton woke up in his cabin long before dawn and it took him a good minute to place just what it was that woke him.
Then the knock came again.
He sighed and climbed out of bed careful not to jostle it much so he didn't wake the bed's other occupant, the world’s most spoiled cat. Duck grumbled, pulling on a pair of socks before making his way out of the room and to the front door. He picked up Beacon (who seemed to be thankfully dozing) on his way through.
He opened the door and saw a little boy, covered in scratches and holding a blanket like a sack as something jerked around inside.
Behind him a man in dark clothes stumbled their way, panting, "Angus!"
He sounded exasperated, and
Oh, fuck no those better not be reapers' robes. Not tonight.
"Hi there," The kid smiled and a drop of blood ran down the lens of his glass, "Ranger Duck?"
"Uh… yeah?"
This kid looked familiar.
"I'm Angus McDonald? We met a few months ago at your God daughter's birthday party?"
Duck made a small noise of recognition, "Oh your uh one of Aubrey's friends," He let a silence hang in the air for a long moment, then looked to the reaper, "Y'all do know it's the middle of the night, right?"
"I'm so sorry," The reaper stepped forward, "He's not supposed to be out right now but he's done something and he's insisted he has to come to see you and I can't get him to go back home. Won't even stop long enough for me to clean him up. Angus at least tell me why that thing is so important to you."
"Classified information, sir."
The man wilted.
"This your kid?" Duck asked, something about the man's demeanor told him no and he didn't like any of the other reasons for a reaper to be chasing a child through the woods at night that his mind was able to generate.
"Oh, no he's my student," The man said, Duck raised an eyebrow, he seemed to fumble for a second, "I mean my boyfriend's son."
Duck looked down at Angus for confirmation.
"Both are true, he's just flustered," the kid said, looking about as tired as Duck felt.
Duck nodded, "Right, and uh, no offense but why the fuck are you here?"
"So this blanket has an undead baby blood hawk in it and she's very angry. Just a furious little bird."
Duck blinked at him and said, "Right, and uh why do you have it?"
"Classified information, sir," he said primly.
"Oh! Yeah or here's an interesting thought, fuck that," Duck said, grabbing his hat off the hook. He slid on shoes, snatched up the first aid kit, and shut the front door, "your gonna sit down right there on that bench and we're gonna have the stepdad of death here clean you up and your gonna explain to me why you have a nonliving member of an Endangered Species of local wildlife inside your Phineas and Ferb blanket."
Angus seemed almost surprised at receiving pushback, "okay…”
Duck wiped a hand down his face, "right, great, sit down there."
Angus did, cradling the blanket in his lap.
The reaper looked at him in shock, "how'd you do that?"
"I dunno, I just did it. Just get to bandaging please?"
"Of course, thank you. I'm Kravitz by the way. I think we met on a field trip once?"
"Yeah, makes sense. Alright, I actually only got two questions for you guys, first one is why is that hawk your responsibility?"
"Um," The kid looked down at his sneakers, "It's sorta my fault she died…"
Duck furrowed his brow and puffed out his cheek blowing out a stream of air, "Right, got it. You oughta start calling someone in your family to come to get you. Second question is, what the fuck are you doing chasing this kid around and not taking him home to his dad?"
Kravitz startled a bit, and made an expression that indicated, 'Who me?'
Duck just sighed and waited. He was too tired for any of this.
"Okay, hold on, I can explain."