Chapter Text
With the wind blowing in his face, the roar of his bike’s engine and Kaidou gripping onto him as tightly as humanly possible with his eyes squeezed shut, Aren Kuboyasu felt happy in life - for the first time in a long time.
He wanted to be on the straight and narrow path, completely rejecting his old life of delinquency, but it had proven to be quite difficult and certainly not as exciting as his former lifestyle. He knew that being part of a gang was not good for him in the long term; he had spent far too many nights running from the police and getting into fights that probably could’ve gotten him killed had he not been a skilled (yet brutal) fighter. However, he was ready to give it all up so he could have a proper shot at life as a normal guy. Making friends was harder than he thought it was, having no luck for the first week. It was also a lot harder than he thought to keep his past criminality a secret. Being a law-abiding citizen was so different to what he was used to and there were a lot of unspoken social rules and a social hierarchy that he didn’t understand. If you wanted to make friends as a punk, all you had to do was beat other punks in a fight. You would instantly gain respect by beating the stronger delinquents. However, as a normal person, it’s seen as aggressive and antisocial to pick fights with whoever happens to walk by you at the time. Kuboyasu knew that it would probably hurt his chances on making friends if they knew that he was a former delinquent - he didn’t want to scare anyone off! That wasn’t him anymore. His luck in the friend department started to change when Kuboyasu saved Shun Kaidou and Kusuo Saiki from a group of bullies trying to take their money. He remembered the respect and gratitude that Kaidou had for him and how he had started inviting him to hang out with his group of friends (who were a very dynamic group!) The boy he saved admitted to knowing about his past, yet he didn’t seem bothered by it (Though later, Kaidou had told the ex-punk in private that he had been a little afraid of him at first.)
One thing Kuboyasu admired about Kaidou was his courage. Sure, he wasn’t the toughest of guys - though his imagination led him to believe that he was containing his “true” power behind his seal binding bandages that he wore on his forearms - but he was certainly brave. He would jump in to save his friends; sacrificing himself so they could get away, even if he was terrified. It was one of the first things that Kuboyasu noticed about Kaidou. According to the blue haired boy, he had been courageous enough to stand up for Teruhashi and Yumehara against a group of boys harassing them at the beach on a school trip to Okinawa - and even fought a wild boar to protect Yumehara during the summer holidays! He could tell just how caring he was, when he accepted Kuboyasu even after finding out about his past behaviour. It didn’t matter to Kaidou, because he knew that the purple haired boy wanted to change for the better. It was clear to Kuboyasu what kind of guy Kaidou was, and he was inspired by him to become a better person.
Throughout their friendship, they had grown closer and closer; they started to spend more time with just each other. Kaidou had invited him to hang out on the weekends, doing various things such as going to the arcade or getting food, while Kuboyasu had offered to take Kaidou on motorbike rides since he couldn’t afford his own bike (nor would his mother ever allow him to own a motorbike, she was already not happy about him getting his license). The day Kaidou had allowed Kuboyasu to refer to him with his first name was when Kuboyasu realised just how close the two of them were.
“Hey..- it’s cool if you wanted to start calling me Shun, by the way… no pressure though! Seriously! But, you know, I wouldn’t mind if you started using my first name..” He nervously choked out, eyes darting across the floor. The two of them were sat on the floor of Kaidou’s room, not really doing anything particular - although his mum thought they were studying. The blue haired boy twiddled with the bandages wrapped tightly around his hands, avoiding Kuboyasu’s gaze as if looking at him would cause the ground to swallow him up. No one, aside from his family, called him Shun. Kuboyasu was the first person that Kaidou allowed to address him with his first name outside of his family.
Kuboyasu’s eyes widened slightly and then softened as he began to speak, “yeah, okay. In that case, please call me Aren!” He smiled, locking eyes with the other, who soon started smiling back at him.
“Of course,” he grinned, “.. Aren…” He mumbled out hesitantly. It felt unusual, yet nice, to use his first name. And he was honoured that Aren had given him the privilege to use his first name.
“Thank you, Shun..” Kuboyasu replied with ease, a comfortable silence following on as they both got back to their own individual tasks, except this time they kept glancing over to one another with gentle smiles.
Kaidou and Kuboyasu were best friends. And nothing was going to change that.
Not until one late afternoon, Kuboyasu had taken Kaidou on a motorbike ride - like he had done many times - and he could feel the smaller boy trying to squish his face (as well as he could whilst wearing a helmet) into Kuboyasu’s back and wrapped his arms around his stomach. As much as Kaidou would love to be seen as this fearless, jaded warrior, he found it difficult to not be utterly terrified as they zoomed off on a death contraption. Kuboyasu, being his best friend, could tell that it was getting to be a bit too much for him, by the way he was trying to crush the taller boy’s ribs. So he found a place to park his bike, against the side of the road, and looked over his shoulder to see Kaidou still cowering against his back. “How are you holding up, Shun?”
“H-hey, why did we stop?” His voice trembled from the adrenaline, though he was desperately trying to hide it.
“I’m getting a bit tired, I thought we could take a break?” Kuboyasu responded, choosing not to tell the other that he can tell he’s struggling, “plus, it’s about to be sunset! I thought we could just sit and watch it?” He took off his helmet rather nonchalantly.
“Oh! Well- er,” he coughed, and suddenly Kaidou shakily took the helmet off to reveal an expression of faux confidence, “well, if you need to take a break, I suppose we can..”
The purple haired boy got off of his bike and looked at Kaidou, who was having a hard time getting his leg over the seat. Kuboyasu had offered to help him off, but was hastily declined as the smaller boy continued to struggle. Once he was finally able to swing his leg off, Kaidou stood up but immediately wobbled as his legs turned to jelly. Luckily the taller boy had caught him before he fell, putting Kaidou’s arm around his neck and wrapping his arm around the other's waist for extra support. “Are you sure you’re holding up alright?” Kuboyasu asked, his eyes gentle with concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine!”
“You’re looking a little green, Shun..”
“What? I swear I’m fine! I’m just glad to be off the bike..” Kaidou mumbled, hoping Kuboyasu hadn’t heard that last part.
The place that they had stopped was surrounded by fields, trees and hills. Snowdrops were dotted along the line where the road had stopped and the fields had started as if protecting the grass. The sun was balanced on the horizon, releasing a golden glow onto everything it touched. The crisp early spring breeze danced along the sky, brushing past the two boys admiring their surroundings.
Kuboyasu guided Kaidou a little ways up the side of the closest hill to get a better view. Once the blue haired boy’s legs started working again, he gently removed himself from the other’s grasp before giving him a shove, “race you to the top!” He blurted out, speeding off.
With a snort, Kuboyasu immediately ran after him, catching up and then overtaking Kaidou within a matter of seconds, “sorry! Not going easy on you!” He looked behind him to give the other a teasing smirk. The race didn’t last long, as Kuboyasu very easily beat Kaidou to the top, whilst the latter had practically crawled up the hill. As soon as he reached the top, the shorter boy collapsed onto the grass, Kuboyasu simply sat down next to him, leaned over and whispered, “I win.”
With a scoff, the blue haired boy sat up and hugged his knees, “whatever, I was only holding back my powers to let you win… if I wasn’t wearing my bandages, I would’ve won,” he stated matter-of-factly.
Kuboyasu playfully rolled his eyes, “I’m sure you would’ve, Jet Black Wings,” knocking shoulders with the other.
The sun slowly fell, along with the light; the dim glow subtly graced the pair’s faces. They sat in silence, too focused on the sunset to say anything. Kaidou’s foot brushed against Kuboyasu’s knee as he was stretching his legs out, still gazing at the horizon. The sudden contact caused the taller boy to glance at his best friend and suddenly something inside him changed.
Kuboyasu looked at Kaidou and his face started to feel warm. He took a second to register that he was blushing at his best friend, 'was he always this pretty?’ he thought to himself, examining the other’s features. He never realised how piercing Shun’s eyes were, swirling rubies that sparkled wonderfully as the light hit them. His blue hair was wild yet gracious and to Aren, it fit him perfectly. As Kaidou watched the sun go down, his face displayed pure admiration and a small smile appeared on his face. He was completely encapsulated by the sun’s beauty, even until its last moments above the horizon line, “it’s beautiful,” he softly whispered, a delicate breeze pushing a few wisps of hair across his face.
“Yeah, it is,” Kuboyasu agreed, not looking at the sunset. It took him a second to realise what (or more appropriately, who) he was thinking about and he quickly turned his attention to the now sun-less sky.
'Oh shit. '
At this point, his hands started to feel sweaty, along with his face that was now burning. He was hoping that Kaidou hadn’t noticed, since it had grown pretty dark by now.
Silence fell over them again, the only noise they could hear was the low chirping of nearby crickets. Soon enough, Kuboyasu heard the grass rustling beside him, as he assumed Kaidou was standing up and quickly followed suit. “We should get going, my mum is definitely going to kill me for being out past sunset..” Shun sighed anxiously, looking over to where he assumed Kuboyasu was.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. She already doesn’t like me very much.. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already sent a search party for you and a hitman for me..” The purple haired boy snorted amusingly, making his way down the hill.
Kaidou simply groaned, “that isn’t even an exaggeration, we better hurry..” he carefully jogged down the hill to get to Kuboyasu’s bike as quickly as possible, the other shortly followed behind him.
Kuboyasu got onto his motorbike, his mind was racing before he had even switched the engine on. As he felt his best friend get onto the bike, with practically no space between them on the seat, Kuboyasu was just glad that Kaidou couldn’t see his face at this moment as he quickly put his helmet on. This had never been an issue before, so why was he feeling nervous now? His thoughts were disrupted as the other wrapped his arms around his waist, and without hesitating Kuboyasu turned on the engine and zoomed off. Hopefully focusing on the road would take his mind off of his current worries.
***
“Thanks for the lift, Aren! Maybe next time I could drive while you’re on the back?” Kaidou suggested, smirking at the thought, 'I would look so badass!’ He took off his helmet, his hair popping out fiercely as he removed it.
“Shun, you’re my best friend, but I don’t trust you to handle my baby..” Kuboyasu snickered, gently patting the handlebars of his beloved bike.
The shorter boy pouted, “hey! I would take such good care of your baby!”
“You can hardly lift a bike, what if you dropped her?”
“We got our licences at the same time!”
Kuboyasu just smiled teasingly at Kaidou, “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Jet Black Wings,” he said, lowering his helmet visor.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, Demon Killer,” Kaidou responded with a scoff (and a smile that he is trying to hide so he can continue to act brooding). He waved goodbye to Kuboyasu as he drove off into the night.
As he was driving away, the purple haired boy was deep in thought and dangerously close to getting so lost within his own mind that he stopped paying attention to the road. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to have a crisis involving his best friend. Thankfully the roads were quiet so he was able to clear his head for the ride home; he still struggled with anger issues which could be especially bad on the road. Integrating into normal life was an ongoing battle for the ex-delinquent, but he was lucky that his friends were patient with him or just didn’t notice when he was acting strangely. This especially applied to Kaidou, who had been the most understanding and forgiving person of all towards Kuboyasu. He never made him feel unwanted whenever he snapped - which, by this point, was becoming more of a rare situation. Sure, when Kaidou didn’t really know Kuboyasu, he was sceptical (and a little afraid) of him. However, after the taller boy had saved him from being beaten to a pulp, his entire perspective had changed.
When he finally got home, Kuboyasu quickly went to his room, and shut the door. He hadn’t been able to process his thoughts properly, and was panicking. He hadn’t ever had to think about his sexuality, and wasn’t entirely sure how he identified. It was a new subject to him, this was the first time that he was interested in someone. And to Kuboyasu, you couldn’t take this sort of thing lightly; romance was important and he had always been taught that “love” (of course, he couldn’t call what he felt for Kaidou “love”, not yet any way,) meant marriage. He was never told that he could explore the concept nor experiment by any means. He was known to go overboard, this wasn’t going to be any different.
Quite frankly, he didn’t know the first thing about having a crush or what to do with one.
“Am I gay? I mean, I’ve not really been interested in girls.. but I thought that was more because I’ve been more interested in my gang and now with trying to fit in.. is it weird that I haven’t had a crush yet?” Kuboyasu muttered to himself, hugging his helmet tightly against his chest. He was frustrated and hated this feeling. He didn’t like feeling anxious, especially if the anxiety was caused by his best friend. Kuboyasu wanted to punch whatever jittery feeling was happening in his stomach, it felt like he had swallowed some small flying insects… moths? Yeah, his stomach was full of moths. The purple haired boy remembered back to them sitting on the grassy hill watching the sun fall, he could picture Kaidou’s expression as he looked off at the horizon. His eyes glistening in the fleeting light, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned into the softest smile he’s ever seen. He was sublime. The memory made Kuboyasu think back to before this evening, and it made him realise how heavenly Kaidou looked all of the time, yet he’s only now just noticed it.
He thought back to when he had invited Shun over to escape his overbearing mother - who did not like the purple haired boy one bit (if she found out that Kuboyasu was an ex-delinquent, he’s convinced that Kaidou would no longer be able to hang out with him.)
They had been playing Mario Kart on the Wii, Kaidou was playing as Dry Bones (the dark, mysterious version of Koopa Troopa according to Shun) and Kuboyasu was playing Waluigi (he was going to pick Bowser, but he somehow convinced himself that Bowser is who he would’ve picked if he was still a punk - so he thought it was best to choose someone else.) He doesn’t remember which race course they had chosen, all he remembered was Shun’s face light up as Dry Bones crossed the finish line in 1st place, whilst Waluigi was down in 5th. The pure happiness that the blue haired boy felt showed up as clear as day on his face, and it made the other feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Kuboyasu remembered how Kaidou turned to him, trying to recover from his initial excitement from winning with a confident smirk and triumphantly announced, “better luck next time, Aren, but I’m just too powerful and skilled! Maybe I’ll go easy on you next time..”
Kuboyasu remembered another memory, when he, Kaidou, Nendo and Saiki had gone out for ramen after school - like they do all the time - however, this particular time felt different.
He and the shorter boy were sat next to each other and Saiki and Nendo were opposite them. Nendo was telling some story about a sketchy man he had met on the side of the road, but knowing Nendo, he didn’t realise that the man was being dodgy. During this story, which sounded like pure nonsense since Nendo was telling it, Kaidou had turned to the boy sat beside him and softly mumbled, “hey, you have something on your face.” He then gently held Kuboyasu’s chin and carefully thumbed at his cheek. And in that moment, Kuboyasu swore that he saw the blue haired boy glance down at his lips. Kaidou lingered for a second, before his eyes widened as he quickly removed his hand and turned away, “all gone..” He stammered, a very subtle shade of pink rising to his face.
“Shit!” Kuboyasu squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that it would stop himself from seeing Kaidou’s face in his thoughts - unluckily for him, it didn’t work.
He went to throw his helmet at the wall in a burst of annoyance, but instead took a deep breath and gently placed it next to his bed. His control on his temper had certainly improved, though a vain was practically popping out of his forehead. Kuboyasu sat down on the side of his bed and stared at the ground. He had to think about this logically: would he be able to hang around Kaidou without feeling guilty? Knowing that he has a crush on his best friend, surely he would treat him differently because of his change in feelings. He didn’t even know if Shun was attracted to guys, let alone to him.
With a heavy sigh, he removed his glasses and rubbed his face with both hands, praying that he’d be able to mould the feelings away which - of course - didn’t work.
'Okay, so I’m definitely not straight, but why did it have to be him? The only person I’m close to, so if he doesn’t feel the same, then I’ve lost my best friend.. I wouldn't be able to face him after being rejected.. I mean, why couldn’t it have been Saiki? Or even Nendo? … Okay it would have never been Nendo, but if it was Saiki, at least it wouldn’t hurt as much when he inevitably rejected me. But Kaidou? Shun? That just makes things complicated..’ Kuboyasu’s head and heart were a mess, he hadn’t noticed that he was fighting back tears.
He couldn’t put his best friend through his emotional crisis, it wasn’t fair on him.
But what was he supposed to do to stop this dilemma?