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Tao had been debating the merits of various film adaptations of books with Isaac for at least fifteen minutes and Charlie had yet to offer a single thought on the matter. Usually Tao just accepted that his friends lacked the capacity to fully engage with his insightful filmic discussions, but this was one that never failed to capture the entire table’s attention. Rather than chime in with his vote on the best Stephen King film, Charlie was staring into space. He hadn’t touched his lunch either, which Tao now knew to worry about just that little bit more.
“You always have opinions about this. What’s up with you?” he asked, kicking his foot gently against Charlie’s under the table until he shook away the curtain of internal thoughts hanging across his eyes.
“It’s nothing,” Charlie said, relegating his gaze to stare intently into his lunchbox at the sandwich he wasn’t eating.
“You can tell me now or I can harass you for the rest of lunch,” Tao threatened.
It wasn’t an empty threat and Charlie knew it. Tao just raised an eyebrow and maintained his stare until Charlie broke.
“I’m worried Nick’s not attracted to me,” he said, the words all pushed up against one another in their attempt to escape before Charlie thought better of it.
Tao blinked. Looking over his shoulder he realised that Charlie hadn’t been so much ‘staring into space’ as he had ‘staring directly at his boyfriend’, who was running out some energy in a make-shift three-a-side rugby game with some of his least-terrible friends. The sense of déjà vu almost gave Tao whiplash.
“Sorry, I think I’ve just travelled back in time a year,” he said, his voice completely level.
Charlie threw a grape at him, bouncing it off his forehead. It was only slightly better than just staring at his food – at least he was touching it, which some days he still struggled with. Tao was proud. Tao also wished Charlie would eat his grapes rather than chuck them at his head. All this hanging out with the rugby team wasn’t proving to be much of a good influence.
“I know he likes me romantically,” Charlie insisted, unable to entirely suppress his smile as he said the words. Then it dipped into an expression Tao knew to read as nervous. “But I just… what if he’s not… sexually attracted to me?”
Even Isaac put his book down—albeit briefly—at that, sharing a pointed look with Tao. Having watched Nick and Charlie’s relationship from the side-lines for a full year, it was clear to both of them that Nick was obsessed with Charlie in every conceivable way. He listened intently when Charlie talked, he stared when Charlie smiled, and based on the utterly empirical evidence of the frankly absurd number of times Tao’d had the misfortune of walking in on the two of them making out, Nick was, without a doubt, interested in Charlie in less than PG ways.
“You cannot be serious,” Tao said, rolling his eyes with so much force it was remarkable his beanie stayed on.
“He only ever says I’m cute, or adorable, or cuddly,” Charlie said, fixated on the wood grain of the table as he spoke. “Which are words people use for fluffy animals, not people they want to have sex with.”
“You have literally used all of those words to describe Nick this week,” Tao said with a sigh. He pressed his fingers to his temples, trying to be patient. “Repeatedly.”
“Because he is adorable and cuddly! He’s just also…” Charlie’s eyes drifted back to Nick playing rugby, his attention wandering for a moment before his words turned soft and far too gooey for a school lunch break. “Really, really hot.”
Tao seriously considered throwing his own lunch at Charlie to get his mind back on track, but he only had an apple left and that seemed a little cruel. If he started drooling over Nick Nelson, though, Tao was definitely going to consider it.
“So you admit those things aren’t mutually exclusive. If you can think those things about Nick, why can’t he think them about you?” Tao said, as rationally as he could manage. He wished he could just hide in a book like Isaac, but someone had to talk some sense into their friend.
“It’s different!” Charlie argued.
“How is it at all different?”
“Objectively, Nick’s hot. Even you have to admit that.”
“I will do no such thing,” Tao said, affronted. But Charlie just looked at him wordlessly and he had to relent. He wasn’t gay but he also wasn’t blind. “Okay, fine, to straight girls and gay guys and bisexual people of all genders, I guess he could be considered hot.”
“Exactly.” Charlie shrugged, wrapping his arms around himself. “And objectively I’m…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I don’t know. But clearly he doesn’t look at me and think ‘yeah that’s someone I want to sleep with’. Why would he?”
Tao dragged his hands over his face, well aware he was being dramatic but the situation called for it. Could Charlie really not see what Nick saw in him? His stupid rugby lad boyfriend looked at him like he was the literal embodiment of everything good in the world. Charlie could pretty much do no wrong. Short of committing genocide, Tao was pretty sure he had Nick’s complete and utter devotion. Which almost definitely included a desire to get Charlie into bed.
Before Tao could figure out a way to convincingly put that into words that would only mildly embarrass both him and Charlie, Nick came running up to their table so quickly he skidded to a stop in the grass.
“Hi,” he said, his eyes fixed on Charlie as he grinned.
“Hi,” Charlie said back, right on cue.
Tao rolled his eyes again, glad Elle wasn’t around to enforce her old ban on him only doing it once per lunch hour. He gave Nick just enough time to sit down beside Charlie, kiss his cheek, steal one of his grapes, and hook an arm around his waist. Then he pounced.
“Do you think Charlie’s hot?” Tao asked him, as blunt as usual.
“Tao!” Charlie protested, his cheeks burning up with impressive speed.
Without the context of the rest of the conversation, Nick was understandably blindsided. A blush crept up over his jaw as he shuffled, a little uncomfortable.
“Um, what?”
“Answer the question, Nelson,” Tao said, unyielding.
“You don’t have to,” Charlie insisted.
Nick looked between Charlie and Tao, confused. Charlie had made the mistake of looking away, too embarrassed to meet Nick’s eyes. Tao had no such reservations, fixing him in a stare so he knew he wasn’t getting out of this without an answer. Nick’s thumb rubbed small circles at Charlie’s waist and he looked down at his boyfriend’s curls as he answered, his voice a little breathless and not just from the jog over.
“Yeah. Obviously. He’s…” Nick’s cheeks went almost as red as Charlie’s as he caught himself from getting overly sappy. He swallowed back whatever he’d been about to say. “Yeah,” he repeated, the word heavy with insistence and intent.
Tao was just about ready to throw up. The words clearly helped Charlie’s spiralling self-esteem, if the loaded look they were sharing was anything to go by, but he was not going to sit and watch while his two friends—because apparently Nick was his friend now—pushed the boundaries of what could be considered appropriate behaviour in public. It was impressive that the two of them could practically turn making eye-contact into foreplay, but it was also horrifying to have to observe over lunch.
“Excellent, thank you. Please tell him so repeatedly,” Tao said. “Ideally while I am absolutely nowhere around.”
“What’s this about?” Nick said, turning to his boyfriend when he got no answer from Tao. “Charlie?” When Charlie just looked away, chewing at the inside of his lip, Nick’s confusion settled into concern. “We’re talking about this later,” he said, firmly.
“Fine,” Charlie huffed.
For a moment Tao was worried he’d caused some problem between the two of them, but Nick pressed a kiss to Charlie’s temple and Charlie shuffled closer to him on the bench and they were back to being adorably saccharine as usual. They were Nick and Charlie. Of course they were going to be fine. And from what Charlie was saying, that was a conversation they really did need to have, as long as Tao was way out of earshot when they did. Ideally in a different postcode.
“Nick, best film adaptation of a book?” he asked, hoping to get them back on topic.
“Do comic books count?” Nick asked after a moment of serious thought.
Tao groaned, internally lamenting Charlie’s choice in guys. At least Nick liked Charlie, so his taste in general wasn’t completely warped. Just his taste in films. Maybe it wasn’t Charlie he needed to consider throwing his leftover apple at.