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"Holly!" Hoseok's voice rings out from somewhere farther in when the dog takes off down Hoseok's apartment hallway, wagging so furiously his entire back half wiggles. Dropping the bag of food and Holly's preferred toys by Hoseok's colorful sneaker collection, Yoongi turns to make a quick exit before Hoseok sees him.
Mickey's nails click against the floor as he runs to sniff Yoongi's legs, followed by Hoseok, his hair pulled back behind a headband like he was about to start washing his face.
"Going already?"
Hand on the doorknob, Yoongi freezes. Mickey barks just once, a grab for attention, standing on his hind legs to paw at him. Yoongi turns just slightly to make eye contact, feeling caught. Hoseok doesn't speak right away, and Yoongi's mind races to come up with what could be running through his head, seeing him look so different all of a sudden.
"Yeah. Uh." Yoongi makes a non-committal gesture, limbs suddenly tight. "Train leaves tonight."
Mickey barks again, and Hoseok shushes him, squatting to beckon his dog back. "Leave our friend alone, Mickey-ah--" he scoops him up, turning his attention back to Yoongi. "Be safe on your trip. Daegu, right?"
He remembered. "Yeah. Gotta-- uh. Talk to my parents about some stuff. Should be back Sunday night, but I'll let you know if anything changes."
Hoseok nods. "I like your haircut, by the way. Looks really good."
Yoongi flushes, unconsciously reaching up to ruffle at the back of it, fingers gliding over the buzzed undercut. He likes it too; it feels right after so long agonizing over it. Hoseok liking it feels like a lot at this moment, a small thing turned into a big thing on account of it being a part of this new version of himself. The real one. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." He smiles, picking up Mickey's paw to wave. "Say bye-bye now."
About 20 minutes after the train leaves the station and the scenery quits being soothing to watch fly by, Yoongi receives a text.
Jung Hoseok 🐕[21:35]: Tell me your name?
He's not sure he's understood the text correctly. He reads it three times more, just to be sure, before pulling up the keyboard.
me [21:37]: Yoongi.
Jung Hoseok 🐕 [21:37]: It's a pleasure to meet you, Yoongi-hyung.
A dry sob nearly jumps from his throat. Hyung. He's rubbing at his eyes and fussing with his mask before it becomes wet with his tears. Typing through them is difficult; he's got to delete what he's written a few times.
me [21:38]: Pleasure's all mine.
Jung Hoseok 🐕 [21:39]: Good luck on your trip home! I'm cheering you on from Seoul! Fighting! ❤️🥰👍
When Yoongi returns to Seoul, he's exhausted. He stops with his bags at Hoseok's door to pick up Holly, not wanting to make two trips, nor keep Hoseok up waiting for him. When the lock buzzes and Hoseok's face appears, Yoongi's struck by his smile and the large tank top hanging off of his skinny body.
"Welcome home, hyung." Hoseok finds his fluffiest slippers, sliding his feet into them. "Let me get Holly's stuff and then I'll carry these bags upstairs for you, you must be tired!"
Yoongi feels so enveloped in Hoseok's unconditional kindness that he doesn't answer right away, staring at the man as he loops Holly's leash around his arm. Both dogs greet Yoongi, vying for his hands on their heads and ears.
"Here we go!" Hoseok slides the leash down his arm to give to Yoongi, then grabs both of his bags to place them on his shoulders. When Holly's successfully attached, he walks politely to the door. They take the two flights of stairs together, and while Yoongi worries about Hoseok struggling with his things, he doesn't seem bothered at all.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I was wondering: was your trip okay?"
Yoongi holds the stairwell open into the hallway for Hoseok, Holly pulling towards his apartment. "Yeah, it went okay. I think I surprised everyone less than I thought I would."
"Oh," Hoseok walks by him, taking the last few steps before they reach his doormat with the cat on it. "I'm thankful."
"Me too." It could have gone much worse, certainly. He doesn't dwell, searching for his key. "Oh-- shit, I owe you money, too--" Yoongi fishes for his phone in his pocket, only for Hoseok to reach out and squeeze his arm, shaking his head.
"You don't owe me anything, hyung. Watching Holly is easy. And I'm glad I could help you in some small way."
The door slides open, Yoongi releasing Holly's leash so he can run into his home. "Are you sure?"
"Very sure."
Yoongi takes his bags from Hoseok. "Well-- if. If you need someone to watch Mickey, you know, I can. I can do that."
Hoseok grins, patting his shoulder. His nails are blue-green today. "Okay. Thank you, hyung."
"No, thank you. Really, Hoseok-ah." Yoongi's free hand opens and closes. He wants a hug. Hoseok's hugged him before, and it was really kind of great, and it would be nice to get another one, maybe. "Thanks."
"Anytime, hyung." Gosh, hyung sounds so good. Hyung. That's him. He's Hoseok's hyung. "Can I give you a hug?"
Yoongi's head snaps up, hot suddenly like he's somehow projected his thoughts out so Hoseok could hear them. "Yeah, I'd like that."
"Okay, great, I just thought-- yeah." His arms wrap around Yoongi's shoulders, squeezing tight. Yoongi can smell the laundry detergent he uses, and the almost astringent scent of his face lotion, mint and bright lemon. Calming. "Hey, I'm proud of you. I know it's gotta be hard, but here you are, just doing it, you know?" When they separate, Hoseok's ears are red. "It's cool. Really cool. Sorry, that's not--"
"No! No, that's really meaningful to hear. Seriously." He holds Hoseok's elbow sort of strangely in his hand, tightening his fingers before letting go. "Thank you, Hoseok-ah."
Hoseok's smile is a little curled up like he's trying to keep in a bigger, wider one, eyes twinkling above splotchy red cheeks. "You're welcome. I'll stop bothering you now."
"Not a bother at all," Yoongi huffs a gentle little laugh. "Goodnight."
"Night night, hyung." Hoseok waves with two hands, heading back towards the stairs. "See you later."
When Yoongi buries his face in his pillow and lets out a long groan, Holly climbs up into his bed to snuffle at his hair, concerned.
He likes Hoseok. He really, really likes Hoseok. He's kinda always liked Hoseok, but now he has all this room suddenly for thoughts of Hoseok and daydreams about Hoseok, about their similar taste in music and what side of the bed he prefers and how that one time he showed him one of the routines he was teaching his students it was like seeing someone dance for the very first time. It feels good, for once, to sink into a crush. To let himself feel his feelings about another man in a way he never has before, like all the pieces have been revealed to him, all within reach for the first time. His hands are steady now when he grasps them, no longer hindered by fear.
It's okay if Hoseok doesn't like him back like that. Even the peace that comes with knowing and understanding this is unexpectedly wonderful. He knows Hoseok cares for him, and that's more than enough.
When he turns over to face Holly he's smiling, squishing the dog's face in his hands.
"Hoseokie's just amazing, isn't he? I know you already think so. Maybe he's my favorite too, huh? Maybe we can share?"
Sending The Email (as he'd begun to call it two weeks ago) to all of his coworkers is about as nerve-wracking as it gets. He's minimized the window a thousand times when evening arrives, and he's procrastinated long enough that he should send it before he leaves today, lest he agonize over it for another 48 hours. It's maybe 25 words long, but even at that length, it feels like a novel. The HR rep he spoke to yesterday told him he couldn't just drop his new name and pronouns and disappear into the night (which like, why the fuck not) so in this iteration he thanks everyone for their support and hopes they can continue to work closely together. Whatever, it's fine and cordial and he's ready to close his eyes and click the send button when his phone vibrates on his desk.
Jung Hoseok 🐕 [19:26]: Hi hyung! 👋 Still working?
The email is abandoned once again as he picks up his phone to open the message.
me [19:26]: Unfortunately. Everything ok?
Jung Hoseok 🐕 [19:27]: Oh everything's fine! I wanted to ask if you wanted to get a drink with me tonight. If you're not busy!
Yoongi gasps. They've never gone out before. Hoseok's never invited him out to another location before, they've only ever hung out at each other's apartments and ran into each other one time at the bar down the street. Is this a date? No, it can't be a date. That would be ridiculous, Hoseok likes men.
Yoongi gasps again, phone tumbling out of his hands and onto the patterned office carpet.
"I'm a man." It's significant enough of an epiphany that he finds himself saying it aloud. This could really actually be a date. His crush might actually be asking him out on a real date.
"We know, hyung." Taehyung, his cubemate, wheels his chair back to stare at him, sunglasses on. It makes Yoongi jump; he hadn't realized Taehyung was still here. Looking at him, he notices the indents on the lower half of his face that appear similar to the sweater he's wearing, hair a touch messy.
"Shit, you scared me." There's a folded-up scarf on his desk in front of his keyboard. "Wait. Were you sleeping?"
Taehyung nods, smiling lazily. "Yeah. 'S too long to go home and then go to Jiminie's so I took a nap here until he gets off so we can go back to his place together."
Yoongi squints at him. "Maybe ask him for a key? So you can just go straight there and not put me in an early grave?"
"Ooh, good idea. What were you saying about being a man, now?" Taehyung peers at Yoongi's computer and the still unsent email, scooting his chair forward with his bare feet. "You want me to look over your man email?"
"It's not-- yeah. Sure."
So Taehyung rolls his sleeves up for dramatic effect while Yoongi reaches under his desk for his phone and starts typing a response to Hoseok. Is it better to assume it's not a date, or to ask?
me [19:29]: I'm not busy, no. A drink sounds nice.
Hoseok's reply is incredibly swift.
Jung Hoseok 🐕 [19:29]: Great! 🥰 Let me know when you're almost home. We can meet at the gogi jib place around the corner.
me [19:30]: I'm looking forward to it.
Smiling down at his phone and the handful of emoji Hoseok replies with, Yoongi almost forgets Taehyung is sitting beside him, typing something into the open email.
"Taehyung-ah...."
"Don't worry hyung, I added something you'll like." When Yoongi scoots back in to read it, he sees Taehyung's changed some of the language he's used, making the tone of the email less apologetic and more firm while still staying polite. Yoongi studies it for a while; it's vulnerable, but it reads well.
Taehyung rubs over Yoongi's knuckles a couple of times, thoughtful. "You shouldn't say sorry for being yourself. You should be excited."
Yoongi laughs gently, flipping his palm up to hold Taehyung's hand, who makes a happy noise and curls into his side. "You're right. Thanks, Taehyung-ah."
With Taehyung attached to him like a big sleepy barnacle, Yoongi presses send.
Hoseok greets him outside the bbq place, khaki-colored beanie curling his ears, a tiny clear clutch in one hand. His nails are orange today. "Hi hyung."
"Hi." Yoongi inclines his head, getting a look at Hoseok's alien sneakers on the damp pavement. "Hope you weren't waiting long."
"No hyung, I wasn't." He reaches out, then stops himself. Yoongi's hands flex where he's got them in his pockets. "Hungry?"
"Yeah. Long day."
"Well good, because I'm treating you." He starts to head inside, past a couple on their phones in the tiny entryway and into the dining room, steam from the tables obscuring the aged photos and carved wood decorations that line the walls. As they're led to a table, Hoseok turns back to look at him, grinning. "I won't take no for an answer, so don't even try, okay hyung?"
Yoongi relaxes after a swallow of soju, content to watch Hoseok lay out tiny plates and place piece after piece of meat in front of Yoongi, talking about his dance students and Mickey's most recent (terrible) haircut. His work clothes are going to smell like the grill and doenjang, but he's never been happier, Hoseok's foot accidentally knocking into his calf under the table every time he tries to recreate a dance move.
"Hey, so," Hoseok says once they've had enough, color high in his cheeks. "Are you having fun?"
"Hoseok-ah. Yeah. I'm having fun. Honestly--" and he has to look out the window for the strength to answer. "I always have fun with you. Even before." he gestures to himself, to his hair that he's just recently dyed blond. "Even when we'd just sit in your apartment with the dogs and watch old romance movies and pretend we weren't crying in front of each other." Hoseok giggles at the memory. "I like spending time together."
"Oh, you do? That's great news." Hoseok swirls the last of his soju around in his glass, suddenly quiet. "I like spending time with you too."
Yoongi can feel them coming closer to something, a realization that they've opened the same exact book to the same exact page.
"Look--"
"Hyung--"
They both stop, chuckle, then gesture for the other one to talk. Hoseok clears his throat.
"Hyung, I wanna. I wanna say that I'm really excited for you. Again. You seem so happy. I'm happy you're feeling good." He puts his glass down. "I also wanna say that I like you."
Yoongi's jaw drops. "Y-you do?"
"Yeah, and I know it's kinda soon, like-- we just met!" Hoseok looks at his lap, cheeks redder than before. It makes Yoongi smile; technically, Hoseok's known him for two, almost three years at this point, from the moment he first moved into the building and Holly decided to take an unsupervised trip around the complex.
But he knows what Hoseok means.
"Like I don't expect us to do anything about it, or for you to even be cool with that sorta thing, I just wanted to tell you. If that's okay. Sorry, I shoulda asked." He shakes his head. "What uh-- what were you gonna say?"
Yoongi smiles, holding his hand out for Hoseok's. "I like you too."
Hoseok, incredulous, places his fingers on top of Yoongi's, a little crooked, so they have to adjust to thread them together. "Are you kidding?"
"No, why would I be kidding?"
"I don't know! People just don't normally reveal that they like each other at the same time, right? Seems too good to be true."
Yoongi can detect some hurt there, some underlying thing he'd like to ease off of Hoseok, maybe squeeze away so that smile never leaves his face.
"Well, I'm not kidding," he plays with Hoseok's fingers, running his thumb over the length of each one, the shiny orange polish. "I do. I don't know if I'm-- ready for anything, exactly--"
"oh, Hyung, no, of course, I completely understand. Completely." And Yoongi knew Hoseok would.
"--But I wanted you to know that, too. That I want to get there, and have you be there waiting for me."
Hoseok's looking at their hands now, his smile brilliant. "Okay. Yeah, I'll be there. However long it takes. And- and even if you never do!" Hoseok tugs on him softly, bringing Yoongi closer to the table. "I'll still be there."
Yoongi pulls his arm back but doesn't let go, leaning in to press their joined hands to the middle of his forehead, grateful. "Thank you, Hoseok-ah."
They walk the block to the apartment building hand in hand, refusing to let the other go, even as Hoseok paid and Yoongi held the door open for other people.
"Wanna walk the dogs together when we get upstairs?" Hoseok asks, streetlamps making his skin glow pretty and warm.
"I'd be honored."