UsuallyUnorthodox



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    Ilya looks over from the sofa as Jackie heads into the living room, perking up in interest. “You are calling Pike? Was good play today. You remembered how to score! Well done.”

    Hayden groans. "Rozanov? Dude, what are you doing in my fucking house?

    "It is girls' night," Ilya informs him primly. "I am one of girls."

    Or: Game day at the Pike house.

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    26 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Sarah
    Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.

    Jackie
    Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.

    Jackie has added Lily to the conversation

    Lily
    what
    what is this

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.

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    26 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    This thing that they have—whatever the hell it is—it’s good. It’s easy. It feels like the only thing keeping Ilya afloat sometimes.

    He can’t let it get to a place where it’s more than just a good, convenient fuck and some fun teasing in between. Even if sometimes, in brief moments of tenderness, it already feels like it’s more than that. Or at least like it’s something that can be, if they just let it.

    But they don’t. They can’t.

    Although sometimes, Ilya does find himself giving in to the urge to look at Shane just a little bit longer, to let his touch be just a little bit gentler, more reverent, than what it would be for something as casual as they claim this to be—albeit sparingly.

    Sometimes, just for a moment, he lets himself indulge. He lets some of that affection bleed out of him because he feels like he’ll implode if he doesn’t.

    But he always catches himself before it can linger.

    ***

    or

    where six months of ghosting is shane’s final straw and he cuts contact with ilya after vegas, tired of the wall that just keeps getting higher each time he tries to chip away at it

    so ilya is forced to reckon with his feelings much sooner

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    26 Jan 2026

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    By the time Shane washes his face, brushes his teeth and packs, there's no time to change. So he's stuck wearing the sweatshirt to the airport while mentally being grateful that it's not a tight neon t-shirt that shows the two barbells poking through both his nipples.

    Let this be a lesson. Never look at pictures of your situationship with his tongue down beautiful women's throats and go on a jealousy tirade to live a wild night in a city like Las Vegas.
     

    Or, Shane gets accidental nipple piercings and Ilya misunderstands.

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    23 Jan 2026

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    Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.” 

    Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”

    “I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.” 

    “Rozanov–” 

    “Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”

    OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic. 

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    English
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    23 Jan 2026