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Moral Quandaries, Deer Dilfs, and Concern by Maokkit
Fandoms: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
31 May 2022
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Summary
“WOW,” Remus screams. “I sure hope there are no monsters in this big, scary forest I’m in. It would be just awful if an immortal faerie found my squishy, delicious mortal body!”
The Forest does not respond. Confusion whistles through the nostrils of a wandering field mouse, flowers wilting in faraway meadows as a single leaf flutters down to land on the strange human’s nose.
Remus grunts, licking at his nose to try and get the leaf to fall. “You know,” he says lowly. “I’m so vulnerable here in these big, dark woods. Would be a shame if some ruthless abomination were to invert my ribcage and redefine the meaning of ‘horse.’ Wow. Would be a crying shame — how unfortunate that I am currently carrying a bottle of oil, tied up to this rugged tree and crying out for help.”
The Forest shudders, all at once, in the raised hackles of a stolen hunting hound and the sudden cry of a cuckoo bird.
“Please,” Remus pouts. “No, seriously, guys. I have so much oil on me, you could literally stick a log up my ass, it is amazing how much lube I brought. You’d be surprised what you can get when you know how to clone the right herbs.”
Series