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Their campus radio station certainly isn’t much to marvel at, but it’s become Robin’s favorite place on campus.
She has a boy in the library to thank for making her aware they even had one, it’s clearly not something the school advertises much. She had been looking for a book for her French paper, and had paid little mind to the guy further down the row until his friend showed up. His very loud friend.
It led to her overhearing their conversation when the boy arrived, asking if he still smelled like weed. He laughed when told he did, saying something about how an “Eddie” wanted to smoke with him at the radio station a little before class. This got Robin’s attention, her annoyance morphing into curiosity.
The boy’s friend told him that they should go listen to his new Springsteen record there soon and they agreed, quieting down as the librarian finally shushed them both as she passed by, wheeling a cart of books.
Suddenly this radio station on campus that’s apparently some secret hang out spot is all Robin could think about. She has gaps in her notes from her last class that day to prove it.
She wants to go look for it, find this haven that might allow her to play her favorite records on air and introduce her to people who are big music nerds just like her. She’ll even settle for just finding more stoner friends besides Steve Harrington, assuming the boy she overheard talking wasn’t an anomaly. But she doesn’t have a clue where to start.
She walks around campus until she gets tired and spends longer in the dining hall at the edge of campus than she usually would, thinking. She even takes a new longer route back to her dorm to see if there are any buildings that she doesn’t know. It’s not a huge campus, and she knows what almost every academic building is for, so she’s still at a loss by the time she returns to her room.
She drops her backpack on her bed in defeat.
“Hey Beth.”
Her roommate glances at her from her desk.
“Hi, Steve’s been looking for you.”
Robin’s brow furrows in confusion, what could he want? She has nothing better to do so she opens their door again, headed for his room. Steve and his roommate live a floor above them, so she makes her way to the stairs.
High school Robin would be shocked that a guy like Steve Harrington is quickly becoming one of her best friends. After all, he tried quite hard to flirt with her at orientation last fall when they met and during subsequent hangouts, until she made it clear she wasn’t interested. He took the rejection surprisingly well. He seemed more self aware than any other guys she’d met and smelled slightly like weed, so she decided to keep him around. She's really happy she did.
Robin checks her watch. She’s been out longer than she thought.
Steve’s door is propped open with a shoe. She pushes it open and sees him lying on his bed, eating a bag of pretzels and reading a magazine.
“Where’ve you been? I knocked on your door enough times to ask if you were there in the past three hours that Beth gave me her pretzels to keep me away.”
“My pretzels,” She takes the bag from his hands.
He pouts up at her. She rolls her eyes at him, tucking the bag under her arm.
She decides to give him the simplest explanation, leaving out the part about the desperate unplanned and unfruitful search around campus she just finished.
“There’s a radio station on campus.”
Steve barks out a laugh as he sits up, “And that’s news?”
“You knew?!”
Steve raises his eyebrows, “You didn’t?”
“Clearly not!” she gestures in exasperation.
“I go there all the time, I have a show. Well, it’s not really–”
Her eyes widen and she cuts him off, “What?! Why didn’t you tell me!”
“I didn’t know you cared! Plus it’s across campus, long walk.”
“Where is it?” Robin asks, excitement spilling into her voice.
He looks a little unnerved by her being so high energy all of a sudden.
“Uh, second floor of the dining hall on the south end of campus.”
“Oh my god I was just in there! It has a second floor?”
“Wait, you got dinner without me? Give me back those pretzels!”
Robin tosses the bag back to him without another thought, trying to resist pacing around the room.
“You have to take me there!”
“You’re way too excited about this place, it’s not like state of the art or anything.”
“I don’t care. I want to see it. Play records there, smoke, anything.”
“Really?”
Robin nods furiously.
“Alright, we’ll go tomorrow after I get out of class. I can show you around.” He smiles, eyes dancing with amusement.
Tomorrow can’t come soon enough for Robin.
Steve is surprised to see her waiting outside his classroom immediately after his last afternoon class ends.
“Someone’s impatient,” he teases.
“Shut up. Let’s go.” She tugs him with her by the arm towards the building’s exit.
It’s a beautiful spring day outside, making the walk across campus pleasant and completely worth it in Robin’s opinion. They take a fairly hidden staircase up to the second floor of the building that houses the dining hall, passing a hallway of empty office spaces before Steve stops.
He opens the door with a flourish, “Behold!”
She rolls her eyes, following him in. Two hallways of rooms line the sides of the one they’re in, looping to make a square. There’s some chairs, a relatively empty bulletin board, a boombox on a table, and band posters or vinyl covers covering every inch of the walls in this main “lobby” area. Robin loves it already.
Sure the ceiling is caving in a little, and the place definitely hasn’t been renovated in decades, but it has a charm to it.
“Here I’ll give you the grand tour,” Steve says.
The station ends up being bigger than she expected. He takes her down one of the hallways, rooms full with old equipment or files and miscellaneous storage. At the end of it sits a bigger room with a bunch of ancient looking amps and two microphones. Steve calls it the “jam room” and says it’s a space for anyone who wants to bring their instruments and play for fun.
The back of the station hosts two broadcasting spaces. The smaller one has a desk with some equipment, a mic, and a record player hooked up. The bigger one is clearly the better one. Even the door to it is cooler, the wood covered in names and messages scribbled in sharpie.
Inside is a bunch of equipment Robin doesn't understand, two mics, a nicer record player, an old couch, some even older looking chairs, and a back wall with a sliding glass door to a little balcony.
She walks out on the balcony. It overlooks a large patch of trees next to the nearby road, a beautiful sea of green since it’s spring. She turns to Steve in awe and he chuckles.
“Best place on campus to smoke a joint and watch the sunset.”
“I’m going to kill you for not taking me here sooner!” She has to resist going over and shaking him by the shoulders.
“Well don’t do it yet because you still haven’t seen the record library.”
That gets her back inside, fast.
Her eyes light up as she steps into the room of records. It’s small and hardly organized, but Robin is immediately skimming through the worn boxes of vinyl records with fervor. Steve leans against the doorframe.
“Jeez Buckley, didn’t know you were such a music geek.”
“Well I was in band in high school.”
“You know, that makes a lot of sense.”
She’s too busy looking for something she recognizes to quip back at him. She pulls out an old Fleetwood Mac record that her mother loves.
“Okay this place is officially amazing. Even if it’s a mess,” she says, already trying to switch some records around in attempt at alphabetizing.
“You should start coming around here with me, it would be great to see the library actually organized. Maybe then more people would bother using it.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m never leaving.”
Steve smiles, leaving her to go check if the elusive guy who runs the place is actually in his office. He comes back with confirmation that he is, having to practically drag her away from the records so she can meet him.
Robin learns that “runs the place” and “office” are both loose terms. Robin hasn’t seen many offices with a green shag carpet and a bong on the desk. The long haired man sitting in the chair seems to be in his mid 40s. He greets Steve lazily.
“Hey Kenny, this is my friend Robin. She’s new to the station, I’m showing her around.”
Kenny stares at her blankly for a second before smiling a toothy grin.
“Far out, well you’re welcome here anytime.”
He slouches back in his chair and cracks his knuckles. He doesn’t say anything else and looks at them blankly. Robin glances at Steve, wondering if that’s all he brought her to this guy for.
“Oh! I guess I should give you the rundown.”
Kenny tells her everything she needs to know quite quickly. Apparently he’s an environmental science professor who was given reign of this place when the school board remembered it existed. He only really comes in every other week to make sure everything is working smoothly.
The gist of the rules seems to be that anyone is welcome in the station to hang out and spin records. People who want to DJ and actually have the option to broadcast on air, or more accurately, to a channel with a range that extends only a few blocks past campus, have to let him know. They tell him a day and time for their “show”, and he adds their name to a schedule that’s taped to the door of the main broadcast room. This way they’re guaranteed use of the player for that hour, no matter who else comes in.
“Is there anything else I have to do if I want to get a slot, like training or anything?” Robin asks. If it’s so simple then why shouldn’t she try her hand at this? Playing music and talking to nobody could be fun.
“Nope. I’m sure he can tell you everything you need to know,” Kenny gestures at Steve.
He turns to her, “What’s your name again?”
“Robin, Robin Buckley.”
The man fumbles for a piece of paper among the messy stack of them in front of him and scribbles her name down.
“Do you want to do my show with me?” Steve asks. “Could be fun. Or you can have your own, or whatever.”
She snorts at the way he’s trying incredibly hard to act like he doesn’t care either way. “Sure dingus, I’ll be your co-host.”
Kenny tells her they’re all set and shakes her hand with another lazy grin. They walk out and she turns to Steve as they walk down the hall.
“Was he high?”
“Oh definitely, but more importantly, now you’re really a member of the station!”
She snorts, following him to the broadcast room as he starts talking about teaching her the basics of the equipment.
A little over a month has passed since that first day, and there’s something so freeing about having the station as an escape from the chaos of her classes. Almost every time she’s made the walk down to this end of campus after class, or on Thursdays for her and Steve’s 5 p.m. “show”, she’s met a new person.
There’s certainly some interesting characters that frequent the place. Most of them, as she expected, are stoners. Usually they come in groups, bringing some joints to smoke or a bong to hit on the balcony as they spin an old Aeromsith album or something else they brought with them, keeping the sliding door wide open.
A few punk rock looking guys come in alone to spin their music later at night, but she’s only stayed long enough to encounter them twice.
There’s the occasional girlfriend of one of the guys brought along, but otherwise she tends to be the only girl. And with the state of the record library, it shows.
She’s busied herself with organizing the records by genre, then trying to alphabetize them by artist. The only person who seems to care besides her is Jonathan Byers, a photography major who has helped her with organizing on occasion because he actually plays the records that’re in there sometimes.
He’s a little shy, but he has the show slot right after her and Steve and is always willing to share his weed, so she’s gotten to know him surprisingly well. She’s really started to like the guy.
He’s usually there during their show too, just hanging out and listening to her and Steve bicker over what to play.
She gets the impression that he and Steve are kind of friends, with the way he always laughs at Steve’s terrible jokes. But his music taste is certainly more sophisticated than Steve’s, so she appreciates him often taking her side in arguments like the fact that Blondie is definitely better than REO Speedwagon.
She’s found herself staying after their show every week to smoke with Jonathan on the balcony, even if Steve has to leave. He’ll bring records by bands she’s never even heard of to play and rave about their music just as enthusiastically as he does for the ones she does know. The little Thursday night tradition is a perfect way to wind down for Robin.
Everything feels almost routine, until it doesn’t.
Today is Friday, and they don’t have their show, but her and Steve decide to get dinner and head upstairs to the station anyway. This one is the best dining hall after all.
Robin is busy telling Steve about something this douchebag guy in one of her classes said to the professor as he opens the door to the broadcasting room, but he immediately cuts her off when he sees Jonathan is already in there.
“Jonathan! Hey!”
Jonathan turns the volume on the player down a bit, mirroring Steve’s smile as he waves them in.
“Oh hey Byers, didn’t expect any other losers to be here instead of out on a Friday night.” Robin jokes, making a beeline for the couch.
“What can I say, not a partier,” Jonathan shrugs.
“Hey don’t lump me in with you two. I could get into any party I wanted to,” Steve protests, flopping down in the second spinning chair next to Jonathan.
Robin raises an eyebrow, “The last time you tried to get into a frat party you ended up with one less case of beer and a pat on the shoulder.”
Jonathan stifles a laugh.
“That was an exception! Those Alpha Phi guys are just assholes.”
“Whatever you say,'' Robin singsongs.
“Wow how could anyone deny Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington?” Jonathan quips, lips curling into a small smile.
“Exactly” Steve says, gesturing in appreciation at Jonathan.
Robin is tempted to make a joke about him being an ego-maniac as the boy runs his hands through his hair. Jonathan is looking at him like he’s the literal embodiment of light or something and she doesn’t get why everyone looks up to this dumbass. ‘The Hair’? What kind of ridiculous nickname is that?
Robin looks between the two of them, “I think I’m missing something.”
“Oh that’s just what everyone used to call him in high school.”
“Wait, you two went to high school together?”
They exchange a look like they would rather forget those years and it only makes Robin more curious.
“Yeah. Let’s just say I didn’t think I’d ever be sharing my weed with or becoming a friend of the guy who purposefully destroyed my camera in the school parking lot sophomore year.”
Steve rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, “Yeah sorry man, I never properly apologized for being a complete dick to you back then.”
“It’s okay, I think we’re past it.”
Robin can tell it’s genuine, and Steve smiles at him sheepishly, but she senses the atmosphere has become a little awkward.
“Okay well now you have to tell me more about Steve in high school. Was he popular?”
“Oh yeah. Big time. They used to call him ‘King Steve’. Then his main group of friends started to become a bunch of middle schoolers.”
Robin starts laughing. Steve kicks Jonathan’s ankle lightly.
“Why would you tell her that? Oh god I’m never going to hear the end of it!” Steve groans. He puts his head in his hands.
“Sorry, just trying to tell the truth” Jonathan shrugs, smirking at Robin.
“King Steve! Ruler of middle schools everywhere!”
“You wound me Buckley.”
She sticks her tongue out at him.
Suddenly, the door to the room opens and one of the prettiest girls Robin has ever seen leans around the side. Her hair is perfectly styled and she’s smiling as she spots Jonathan. She's absolutely stunning.
“Jonathan I’m gonna go back I have–”
The girl's words die on her lips, ones Robin uses all her willpower to tear her gaze away from, when she realizes Jonathan has company.
“Oh, sorry I didn’t realize anyone else was here I’m–”
“Nancy Wheeler” Steve finishes, spinning in his chair to face her instead of Robin.
This is Nancy Wheeler? The Nancy Wheeler that Steve dated in high school and tells her stories about whenever he gets really drunk?
“Steve” she says, eyes widening in recognition. “Wow, it’s been a while.”
“Sure has. Uh how are you?” he asks.
“Good, better than I’ve been lately.” She steps into the room a little more.
“That’s good,” Steve says.
Jonathan looks between the two, clearly trying to causally push past what is surely a weird reunion for them.
“Sorry, I forgot to tell you I wasn’t here alone. Nancy’s been coming with me sometimes to check out the record library.”
“Yeah, it’s nice, even though the place is a bit hard to find anything in.”
“You should’ve seen it a few weeks ago,” Robin says. “I’ve been trying to organize it whenever I’m here.”
Nancy glances past Steve and Jonathan, seeming to fully notice her for the first time. The eye contact makes Robin’s head spin.
“Well I’m sure it’s great compared to then. Us girls really have to do everything huh?” Nancy smiles and rolls her eyes.
Robin smiles back and her heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of her chest.
“I’ll say, this place can be a real neanderthal fest.”
“Me and Jonathan are right here.”
“Jonathan and I” Robin corrects, knowing it'll bother him.
“Fuck off.”
She smirks.
Nancy is failing at hiding a grin at the exchange. “Well I really do have to go, this paper isn’t going to write itself. But it was great seeing you Steve, and…”
“Robin,” she supplies. “You too.”
“Right, maybe I’ll see you around here again sometime! Oh and Jonathan, I’ll meet you after my literature class tomorrow, promise.”
He nods, moving to swap out the Clash’s record he’s had on for one by The Smiths.
Robin doesn’t trust herself to say anything else, just gives Nancy a small wave as she leaves. She lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding when the door closes. Now she really hopes she sees the girl again, even if it might be the death of her.
“That’s Nancy? Steve, you didn’t say she went here.”
And you didn’t say how breathtakingly fucking gorgeous she is. No wonder he’s still a little hung up on her sometimes.
“I forgot she did. We only run into each other occasionally around town at home. Guess we’ll see each other more if she comes around here often though. Hey Jonathan, does she smoke?”
Jonathan laughs, “What do you think?”
Steve puts his arms up in surrender, “Well I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt! Maybe she’s changed her mind.”
“Nope, only like twice with me as far as I know. She usually stays away from it, her parents really got it into her head that it’ll ruin her life or something.”
“They’re lucky I couldn’t find the stuff as easily in high school, would’ve really had even more of a bone to pick with me then.”
Jonathan cracks a wry smile.
Robin is only half listening to the conversation. In fact, she’s only half listening to the conversation for the next two hours and to Steve as they walk back to their dorm.
All she can think about is Nancy, Nancy and her perfect hair and perfect outfit and perfect lips. Nancy, who seems like the type of girl Robin would’ve rolled her eyes at and called a priss in high school. It’s embarrassing how enamored she is with a girl she just met, how envious she is of Jonathan and Steve for knowing her.
Steve mentions that Jonathan dated Nancy after he did. Robin’s heart aches a little at that, but what does she expect? Of course Nancy’s straight.
She looks down at the rip in the knee of her pants from when she fell off her bike last week, the old beat up converse she has on. Even if in some parallel universe where Nancy wasn’t, Robin definitely wouldn’t be up to her standards.
“Robin?”
“Huh?” Robin blinks.
They’re outside her room. She didn't even realize they had gotten upstairs.
“I asked if you’re okay.”
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
He eyes her curiously, but drops it. “Alright, I’ll see you later. I’m going to catch up on sleep.”
“Night” she says, giving him a wave and unlocking her door.
Beth is out, so she flops down on her bed, alone in the dark. She stares at the ceiling. How is she already so worked up over a girl who she’s barely said two sentences to?
She groans and puts a pillow over her face. Of course her newest crush has to be Steve's ex girlfriend and Jonathan’s probable current girlfriend.
When she falls for someone, she falls hard, and fast. Nancy is apparently no exception. It’s just her luck.
After hours of failing to distract herself with studying, reading a book, and painting her nails, she falls asleep after convincing herself she might not even see Nancy again and this will all blow over.
She’s slammed with assignments and tests the next week, unable to make time to visit the station until her show with Steve.
They’ve developed a system of splitting the hour for their show in half so each of them can play the music they want. Usually they plan out a bit of time for them to both comment on it for fun, which usually just ends with talking over each other and making jokes at the other’s expense.
It’s almost the end of Steve’s half hour of music, and the show, when Jonathan shows up. He’s quiet about slipping in and not disrupting her as she gives Steve a rare compliment because he chose to play Bowie today.
After flipping their mics off and putting the record back on, they both turn to Jonathan. He’s pulling out records for his show out of his bag, explaining that he had some photos to take for an article Nancy was writing for the school newspaper.
Robin apparently doesn’t pay much attention to anything on campus because she didn’t even know they had one, but then again, it probably doesn’t get many reads.
She leaves Jonathan to do his show, and Steve to listen, after theirs ends to continue organizing the record library. She wonders if Nancy is there.
She takes a deep breath before peering through the square of glass in the door. No one. Probably for the best, she needs to get over this stupid crush.
She steps inside, brow furrowing when seeing that somebody undid some of her work. A bunch of records are perched messily in a stack on top of one of the boxes. Assholes.
She tries to ignore all thoughts of Nancy Wheeler as she puts them all back in their places. She fails.
She can’t stop thinking about how much she wants to know her more, what it would feel like to kiss her, what she’d taste like. It feels wrong to think about the girl like that when they don’t even really know each other, and Nancy would probably be disgusted if she knew, but she can’t help herself.
Robin stays later than she meant to, but figures it’s worth it because now the records are almost fully organized. It wasn’t quite the distraction she wanted it to be, but it gives her a sense of pride to see the library finally in good shape.
Another week goes by with no sign of Nancy, at least whenever she sees Jonathan. Steve says Nancy dropped by with Jonathan one of the days he went alone to smoke because Robin was busy in the library. Robin tries not to be jealous.
Every time she hangs out with Jonathan on the balcony, whether she’s high or not, she feels kinda guilty for secretly obsessing over Nancy. She’s never actually asked him, but she has a feeling the two are dating and it feels like a violation of some friendship code.
When she asked Steve about it, he said he wasn’t sure, but wouldn’t be surprised if they were. He knows them better than her, certainly knows Nancy more, so she reluctantly trusts his guess.
She wonders what Steve makes of the two times she was especially stoned and asked him to tell her stories about Nancy from high school.
It was a bit desperate, but she wants to get to know her so bad it hurts. She wishes they could just avoid the small talk and skip to the part where they know everything about one another, it would be so much easier.
Nancy is a complete enigma to Robin. Everything she knows about her has been pieced together from Steve, Jonathan, and the singular time they met. There’s a nagging thought in the back of her mind that she’s fallen for the idea of Nancy rather than the girl herself, but she always pushes it away. At least she knows the brunette isn’t just a figment of her imagination.
“Earth to Robin.”
She blinks herself to the present as Steve waves his hand in front of her face.
“It’s 5:30. You good to switch?”
She sinks back into her chair, “Yeah, knock yourself out.”
He takes the Beatles record she had found in the record library off the player and gingerly replaces it with an ABBA one.
Steve being a secret ABBA fan is one of her favorite things to tease him about, mainly because he gets more defensive each time. She finds it hilarious to hear him keep justifying owning and liking the band’s records, especially because he already knows that she doesn’t actually care.
She’s certainly not as big of a fan as him, but she likes some of their songs. It’s just a good piece of ammo for when he brings up the one time he caught her listening to Duran Duran on her walkman and said he was going to revoke her ‘pretentious music nerd card’.
“Finally bringing the ABBA obsession to the station today are we Stevie?”
“Ha ha, laugh it up. Jonathan said he couldn’t make it today, so I’m seizing the opportunity.”
Robin snorts, “I think you’ve already missed your chance to prove to him that you’re some big bad rock and n roll or metalhead guy.”
“I’ve got layers! He likes the Cure, I like the Cure–” Robin raises her eyebrows at him doubtfully. “–I do! I like Toto, he tolerates 'Africa’. We have some stuff in common,” he huffs.
“So you’d tell him you own all of ABBA’s records, even the one you had to order from overseas?”
Robin knows she’s won when he hesitates to confirm.
He waves her off, “Whatever! You’re ruining the song.”
She smiles to herself. She fishes the tiny remainder of the last joint Steve rolled for her last week out of her jacket pocket and grabs Steve’s lighter off the desk beside them, lighting it.
Steve’s humming along to “Angeleyes” and she leans her head back, closing her eyes and feeling a breeze from the cracked balcony door hit her. She’s at peace.
She wishes she could tell her younger self how much better college is than high school. Tell her how much more enjoyable her life would become after graduation, that not everyone in Indiana is a cruel grade-A asshole. It may be the amount of weed she’s been putting in her system, but she’s never felt so carefree.
She opens her eyes again a while later after her head starts feeling light and floaty.
Steve is tossing a hacky sack up in the air and catching it like a baseball. He’s bopping his head around to “Voulez Vous”, Robin’s favorite track on this album.
“You know French right?”
“Sure, it’s not like I’m fluent or anything,” she says with an eyeroll.
"What does voulez vou mean?”
“Do you want?”
“Do I want what?” His face screws up in confusion.
“No dingus, it means do you want.”
“Ohhh, well that’s underwhelming.”
“The whole point of the song is the singer asking if the guy she’s out dancing with wants to take the next step. It’s implied to be a question of do you want to get out of here and hook up.”
He sits up more in his chair, “Really?”
Robin groans, “You have the lyrical comprehension of a first grader.”
“I don’t get you and Jonathan and your obsession with analyzing lyrics,” he throws his hands in the air. “Honestly it’s a wonder you’re not dating him.”
Robin freezes in the middle of picking at her chipped black nail polish. He notices.
“What? Are you?”
Robin forces herself to look at him, he’s avoiding looking back at her. She’s surprised he’s not wiggling his eyebrows and teasing. He’s just sitting there with a stoic expression, like he’s dreading her answer. Weird.
How is she going to explain that she and Jonathan would never happen, that she’ll never been attracted to him like that. She’s tired, so tired of hiding and stressing herself out with making excuses. She needs to tell him, it’s been a long time coming.
“Steve, I need to tell you something.”
“Okay, shoot.”
Robin swallows, hard.
“I like girls.”
She braces herself to lose her best friend, see disgust or anger blazing on his face. She hopes she knows him well enough now to correctly assume that he’s better than that. She’d take a polite acceptance and subsequent quiet shutting her out over that in a heartbeat.
“Oh. I don’t. Well, not as much as guys right now.”
Her mouth almost drops open.
“Wait, really?”
He nods, flashing her a nervous smile, “I think they call it bisexual.”
She laughs in relief, “Guess I was worried for nothing.”
“Am I the first person you’ve told?” he’s grinning, looking just as relieved as her.
She nods, finally feeling the weight of carrying this secret so long lift.
“Cool.”
“Yeah, cool.”
They just sit there, smiling at each other stupidly.
“I’m glad you aren’t secretly dating Jonathan, because otherwise me telling you that I have a crush on him would be very awkward,” he chuckles.
“I knew it!” she shouts.
She was sure she wasn’t imagining all of the little looks he would shoot Jonathan’s way.
“What? I thought I was good at hiding it!”
“With all those puppy dog eyes? Please.”
He throws a pen at her, which she dodges, continuing to laugh.
“So you’re not into Jonathan, or like guys at all?”
She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. Should she tell him about liking Nancy? Oh what the hell.
“Nope. I see the appeal, he’s a great guy, but I may have sorta fallen for Nancy.”
Then it’s his turn to laugh with the full context of the situation. She crosses her arms and lets him.
He clutches his stomach after a minute, a huge grin on his face, “Didn’t think she was your type.”
“Me neither,” she says truthfully.
When he speaks again after a few moments, his voice is more serious, vulnerable. “Do you think Jonathan knows?”
Robin thinks about it, “Honestly? I don’t know.”
Steve sighs. “I hope he doesn’t, I don’t want to weird him out. Especially if he’s going out with Nancy again.”
“Listen Harrington, I don’t know you and Jonathan’s full history from high school, but I really doubt he’s suspicious.”
He seems a little more comforted by this outside perspective.
“Guess we have the same struggle huh?”
“Unfortunately.”
Steve chuckles to himself, “Can’t believe you’re following in me and Jonathan’s footsteps, falling in love with Nancy Wheeler. There really is something about her.”
“I’m not in love with her, I’m—I’ve barely even talked to her!”
“Uh huh. You’re already blushing, I give it three weeks.”
She throws his lighter at him.
Just when she’s started to get over Nancy, she’s reeled right back in when she runs into her in the record library one Tuesday evening.
She had wanted to relax and do her homework somewhere other than the school’s crowded library or her room for once, so she came to the station. Unfortunately, doing it in the main broadcast room proved difficult with the group of guys sitting out on the balcony talking loudly and laughing their asses off.
For some reason, there was someone in the second broadcast room already, so she decided to go to the record library.
And now, as she opens the creaky door, she realizes she’s not alone.
“Robin! Hey, how’re you?”
Robin just stands there, thoroughly unprepared to be staring into those striking blue eyes again. Snap out of it Buckley.
“G-Good! You?”
“I’ve been alright. Lots of work, guess I missed my window to help you finish organizing this place.”
Robin puts her backpack down against the wall and walks closer to Nancy and the records, her homework forgotten.
“Sorry yeah, beat you to it I guess.”
“It’s okay,” Nancy replies with an easy grin.
Robin can’t stand the moment of silence that ensues afterwards, the only sound being Nancy flipping through records. She clears her throat.
“So, uh, what’re you studying? Do you do photography like Jonathan?”
“No actually, it’s interesting to see the shots he gets, but that’s definitely his area of expertise. I’m majoring in journalism.”
“Oh, nice. He mentioned you write for the school newspaper once, so I was thinking something writing heavy. Didn’t take you for an English major though.”
Nancy laughs. “Yeah, no. Literature is great, but I would go insane having to read all the Shakespeare they require for the major here.”
Robin’s lips quirk up into a smile, “Amen to that.”
“What about you?”
“International relations. My dad wanted me to do something with politics or business. This was the compromise since I could use being able to speak multiple languages to my advantage.”
Nancy seems genuinely interested, pausing in her browsing. “What languages?”
Robin counts them out on her fingers, “Spanish, French, and Italian.” Then, as an afterthought, “Well and Pig Latin but that doesn’t really count.”
Nancy raises her eyebrows, “Impressive, I barely remember any of the French I took in high school.”
Robin feels her face heat up at the praise, she doesn’t tend to talk about herself all that much.
“I learned it all young, if I hadn't I doubt I’d remember.” Robin shrugs.
“Knowing three out of five romance languages though? Pretty cool thing to brag about.”
Nancy shoots her a small smirk. Robin tells herself not to overthink it, but it makes her heart skip a beat nonetheless.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
She notices that Nancy is skimming through the “M” box in the pop section.
“You looking for anything specific?”
“Oh just some Madonna.”
Robin scoffs. She can’t help it.
“What?” Nancy turns, brows furrowed.
“It’s just, Madonna? Her music is so annoying.”
Nancy crosses her arms petulantly, “It is not! It’s fun.”
Robin can tell that she’s struck a bit of a nerve, but can't help herself.
“Uh yes it is. Her songs have like zero meaning behind them, they’re just designed for dancing.”
“Well sometimes that’s what you need. Plus, 'Express Yourself' has meaning. It’s about female empowerment.”
Robin puts her hands up, conceding on that front. “Fine, that one’s the exception.”
“Come on, you care about girl power. You listen to Joan Jett and Blondie.”
Robin opens her mouth but then promptly closes it, confused.
“How do you know that?”
Nancy seems to realize something, cheeks flushing just enough for Robin to notice in the dim light (she should really make Steve help her replace the old bulb).
“Well, actually, I listened to your show with Steve these past two weeks.”
Robin is incredibly flattered, and then incredibly embarrassed. She’s always just rambling about her favorite artists or fighting with Steve between songs when they’re on air because she doesn’t think anyone is listening. Usually, no one is.
“Oh, shit, thank you? God we’re always acting so stupid.” She laughs awkwardly. “I didn’t think anyone ever heard all that besides Jonathan when he’s also in the room.”
“It was nice, easy background noise for when I was doing some highlighting in my notes. I didn’t know as many of your picks as Steve’s, but they sounded good. Sorry if that’s weird.”
“No no it’s cool, totally cool. I’m glad you liked it.”
Nancy nods, moving to look at records again.
“Hope it showed you what a sense of good music taste sounds like,” Robin teases.
She tries to push past the fluttering in her stomach that’s still there from knowing that Nancy listened to her show. Somehow that feels like it means something.
“I do have good music taste,” Nancy crosses her arms.
“I’ll be the judge of that. Give me the first people you listen to regularly that come to mind.”
“Well a lot of the time it’s whoever my friends listen to. You know, Prince, Billy Joel, Cyndi Lauper, Wham—”
Robin holds a hand up.
“I’m gonna have to stop you there before it gets worse. First few were alright, but Wham? Seriously?”
“Okay, that’s fair. Blame my high school friends.”
“I will! Apparently they had horrible taste! I’m shocked Jonathan hasn’t conditioned you, he has great taste.”
Nancy laughs.
“He’s tried. I’ve started to like some new bands because of him, but I think he’s realized he can’t get rid of it all. He kinda likes George Micheal though, even if he hates Wham.”
Robin is caught off guard by that. “Really? Wow, I wouldn’t expect that from him.”
“What? You’re not into George Michael?”
Robin tries not to laugh, wanting to avoid having to explain her suspicion that George Michael is secretly gay. Everyone but Steve seems to think she’s crazy.
“Not really my type.”
Nancy looks at her with an expression that’s a mix between curiosity and reluctance before speaking up again.
“Who is?”
Robin swallows, not expecting the conversation to go here. She straches the back of her neck and frantically tries to think of an acceptable answer.
“Bowie, I guess, he’s cool” she says, lamely.
Nancy thinks for a second and then accepts the answer with a “Yeah, he is.”
Robin breathes out a quiet sigh of relief. The last thing she needs is for Nancy to get all weirded out about her being gay when she’s trying to become her friend. She heard enough rumors and whispers about her in the halls in high school from girls who look like Nancy to last a lifetime.
She checks her watch. She should really be starting her assignments, but she really wants to see Nancy again after this. Maybe she should invite her to hang out after their show? Would that be too much? Fuck it.
“Shit, I’ve gotta go. But uh, tell you what. If you come to our show this week, you can force me to listen to Madonna afterwards. Jonathan said he’s skipping his because he has a lot of class deadlines.”
Nancy’s eyes light up.
“One condition, you listen to a tape I’ll make for you of some of my favorites to show you all the good music you’re missing out on. Consider it some music education,” Robin says, grinning.
“Deal.”
The answer surprises her, she didn’t think Nancy would agree so easily after she kinda insulted her music taste. God what has she gotten herself into? She’s gonna have to put a time limit on how many Madonna songs Nancy makes her suffer through.
Robin nods in affirmation, “Alright Wheeler. See you Thursday.”
“See you.” Nancy smiles.
With that, she slings her bag over her shoulder and slips out the door with a little goodbye salute in Nancy’s direction that she regrets afterwards.
She peeks in the broadcast room and sees that the guys from earlier are still in there. Damn it, oh well.
She heads towards the library to work after all, smiling to herself as she passes the record library on her way out. Maybe listening to Madonna won’t be too bad if it's with Nancy.
Having Nancy around alongside Jonathan while they do their show is nice, really nice. She fits into the conversations well and Robin is more than happy to hear stories about Steve acting like a dumbass in high school. She laughs at Robin’s stupid jokes and Robin only falls harder for her.
Robin gets much more talkative toward the end of the hour thanks to the two joints her and Steve shared before Nancy and Jonathan got there hitting her.
The time goes by way too quickly and suddenly she and Steve are signing off and she needs to lift the needle off the record that's playing. The show is over, meaning she has to hold up her end of this bargain.
“You staying?” Steve asks.
Robin nods, watching as he stands up from the other chair and stretches.
Nancy stands up from a chair beside the couch with a pleased grin, “She has to. Robin and I made a deal that she would stay after and listen to Madonna so I can convince her that she’s a respectable singer.”
“And you need to listen to the tapes I made for you with some actually good music,” Robin adds.
“Well I have a paper to write, but good luck with that,” Jonathan shoots Robin a sympathetic look, grabbing his bag from beside the door.
“Madonna? Count me out. I’ve got a family size bag of Doritos with my name on it back in my room,” Steve says.
“You like Madonna a little though,” Nancy says.
“Not more than I like Doritos,” he replies, grinning at her eyeroll as he heads out the door.
Then they’re alone and she remembers the tapes she made. She gets them out of her backpack and holds them out to Nancy.
She made Steve drive her to the store so she could buy the two tapes and cases for them. When she told him what they were for, he was more excited than she was about the deal, going on about how romantic making Nancy a mix was. She had swatted his hand away and told him to focus on the road as he tried to poke at the blush coloring her cheeks.
She hopes Nancy appreciates them, because she spent entirely too long crafting them using the stereo tape deck her grandparents got her last Christmas for the other girl not to.
“There’s two tapes actually, I got a little carried away,” Robin admits.
“That’s okay.”
Nancy takes them with a kind smile, raising an eyebrow at the titles, “Essential listening volume one and two huh?”
“Yup,” Robin pops the p. “Some of my favorites.”
Nancy turns the cases over to scan the track lists Robin scribbled down.
“There’s some older 60s and 70s stuff on there, like the Stones and Zeppelin. Plus you know, Queen and Joan Jett and other people I like. I realized I don’t really know that much about what you listen to.”
“Well I’ve heard Blondie and Jonathan loves the Talking Heads, but there’s a lot on here I don’t know. I’ll definitely listen to them, thank you.”
“Of course. Music education is important, you know.”
Nancy puts the tapes in her bag and starts to take the Madonna records she brought from her dorm out.
“Uh huh,” Nancy replies, absentmindedly.
Robin’s head feels pleasantly fuzzy. She’s higher than usual, but she’s coherent enough to focus. At least a little. Nancy puts three Madonna records down on the couch next to Robin.
“Suddenly I’m regretting this deal.”
“It won't be that bad,” Nancy crosses her arms.
“Okayyy whatever. Let’s get it over with,” She gestures lazily at the records, having limited control over her limbs.
Nancy looks at her inquisitively.
“Are you high?”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
Nancy squints at her.
Robin puts her hands up in surrender. “Fine, just a little! It enhances the listening experience, you know.”
Nancy looks skeptical.
“You should try it!”
Robin’s eyes dance with mischief. She hates being high alone.
“Oh I don’t really do that kind of stuff,” she says, looking apprehensive at the idea.
“Live a little! It’s fun I promise,” Robin pouts.
Nancy puts the records down next to the player and stands there for a moment, turning towards Robin hesitantly.
“Robin…”
“Come on, for me?”
Robin doesn’t even realize what she said until the words are out of her mouth. God why did she say that? They barely even know each other.
“Fine, but I’m putting the record on first.”
Robin almost drops the joint she’s pulled out from the pocket of her jeans at the fact that, for once, her habit of not thinking before she speaks worked in her favor. She’s so glad she thought to bring one of her own today instead of relying on Steve.
“You know how to inhale it properly right?” she asks as Nancy sits next to her on the couch.
“Yeah, Jonathan taught me,” Nancy says, her voice a little uncertain.
Robin tries to tune out Madonna’s voice in the background to focus on Nancy’s.
“Hey, relax. You’ll be fine, it’s not like it’s Special K or anything.”
Nancy laughs, “I guess you’re right. I don’t think I’d be giving in if it were.”
“Yeah, I only do that stuff on the weekends.”
Nancy stares at her, concerned. Robin starts giggling like an idiot at her own joke.
“I’m screwing with you, I’d never touch that shit,” she says.
“Okay you really must be high,” Nancy shakes her head, grinning. “Here, give me some.”
Robin hands her the joint and lights it for her. Nancy coughs a bit after her first hit, remembering how to inhale properly for the ones afterwards.
Robin puts all her focus into understanding Nancy as she talks about each of the first few Madonna songs playing, and trying not to stare at her lips as she does. She knows most of them anyway because they’re popular.
She takes more hits than she should over the course of the next hour, against her better judgment, because she doesn’t want Nancy smoking the whole thing. Nancy complains about it because she’s trying to ‘catch up’ to Robin.
Robin notices when it starts to affect Nancy, because the brunette is pausing more and stumbling over words in a way that’s different from every other time Robin has heard her talk. She finds it incredibly entertaining when Nancy tries to stand and then sits right back down after a moment, looking at Robin with wide eyes.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this high,” she stares blankly across the room. “I feel like I could melt into the couch.”
Robin laughs. “Well, I think you’ve caught up to me.”
Nancy turns to her, leaning the side of her head against the couch close to Robin’s, and grinning triumphantly.
Just as she starts getting a little lost in Nancy’s eyes, Robin hears the opening sounds of “Lucky Star” begin. She recognizes them instantly and groans, making a face.
“What?”
“I hate this song. Like when I say I don’t like Madonna this is what I mean.”
“It’s good!” Nancy says defensively. “How could you hate it?”
“It is not! It’s ridiculous. I mean what is this?”
She starts singing along in a high pitched voice, mocking the ‘starlight, star bright’ part. Nancy dissolves into a fit of giggles.
“See! You’re laughing! It’s so stupid.”
“At you!” Nancy exclaims, “The song is still great.”
Robin rolls her eyes. Nancy seems like she’s trying to be annoyed with her but can’t, so she keeps rambling about Madonna.
Robin doesn’t care about any of the random facts Nancy is telling her about Madonna, but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t pretend to with the excited tone of Nancy’s voice.
Robin, more used to being high, gets up and swaps out the first record as it ends when Nancy asks her to. They barely listen to the new one though, because Nancy has started asking Robin questions about her music taste, what her favorite bands are.
Robin is happy to indulge her, going on about her mom inspiring her love of Fleetwood Mac and how she hates the country music her dad likes.
It takes a while for her to catch herself rambling, as it usually does, even if she’s sober. She wants to tell Nancy everything.
“Shit I’ve been talking too much, we’re supposed to be listening to Madonna,” Robin says.
“Well I like hearing you talk more. Keep talking,” Nancy says, eyes flickering down to Robin’s lips for a split second.
Robin smiles dopily at the encouragement and obliges, mind reeling at the compliment. If she didn’t know better, she’d think Nancy was flirting with her.
"More than hearing Madonna? Wow Wheeler, I'm honored."
At some point, Nancy says her head feels heavy and puts it on Robin’s shoulder. Robin takes pride in how she doesn’t flinch or stutter in her words as she tells Nancy about her life, even if her heart is definitely pounding erratically.
She can’t say the same for when Nancy catches her by surprise later on, moving to lay her head in Robin’s lap.
She tenses and she can tell Nancy feels it. Nancy immediately starts to sit back up.
“Sorry, is that okay?” Nancy says, searching Robin’s eyes intensely. Robin is sure the girl can see the brilliant blush creeping onto her face, but she doesn’t comment on it.
“Yeah, totally,” Robin says, her voice thick. She frantically tries to remember what she was talking about.
That seems to be enough for Nancy. She shrugs and resumes the position like it’s nothing, like it didn’t almost give Robin an aneurysm.
She’s glad when Nancy starts talking about herself, even if she has to hear some story from when her and Jonathan were dating in high school. She offhandedly says something about how they’re bonded by shared trauma. Robin doesn’t pry, but her heart aches at the reminder that the girl in her lap is probably already taken.
They’re quiet for a while, Robin staring anywhere but at Nancy and Nancy staring at the ceiling. Robin actually listens to the song playing for the first time in ages.
“What’s this song called?”
“Crazy for You,” Nancy supplies.
“I like it.”
“Me too,” Nancy says with a half-smile.
Nancy starts trailing her fingertip along Robin’s forearm lazily and goosebumps erupt on the skin. Robin feels like she’s floating above her body.
She could kiss her right now, all she’d need to do is lean down.
Nancy seems oblivious to the effect she’s having on Robin, starting on some tangent about the school newspaper.
She’s just glad Nancy has stopped touching her and is instead gesturing around with her hands as she fills Robin in about how shitty the editor is. Otherwise, Robin would’ve definitely done something she’d regret.
She’s more disappointed to come down from this high than any one she’s had before it. Nancy eventually resumes her initial sitting position on the couch, and Robin checks her watch when there’s a lull in conversation.
“It’s eight, is two hours of Madonna enough for you?”
Nancy pretends to think about it, “I guess.”
“Finally, I’m free of this hell,” Robin says playfully.
“Oh please, you liked it.”
No, I liked being high with you and listening to you talk
“It was alright,” Robin says begrudgingly. “You definitely haven’t turned me into a real Madonna fan but…”
“But?”
“I guess she’s not so bad.”
“I’ll take that as a win,” Nancy says with a smile so big it rivals even the brightest of stars.
Nancy gets up to put her records back in her bag. Robin stands, shaking off the lingering languidness of her limbs.
She realizes Nancy is waiting for her so they can head out together and her heart skips a beat. She grabs her own backpack quickly.
“Thank you for doing this, really. It was nice,” Nancy says, voice soft as they reach the bottom of the stairs.
“Yeah, it was.” Robin smiles, pushing open the door to the outside.
Then they’re standing there outside the dining hall in the dim light from a nearby lamppost.
Robin points a finger at her, “You better listen to my tapes, Wheeler.”
“I will, I keep my promises,” Nancy says, waving goodbye as she starts off towards her dorm.
“I’ll hold you to it!” Robin calls after her.
Nancy proves it when she runs into Robin on the way to class a few days later. Robin barely has time to pull her headphones down and stop her Walkman before Nancy immediately starts raving about how much she loved listening to the tapes.
They can’t talk long because their classes are in different directions, but Robin has to suppress a smile at the conversation for the entirety of class once she gets there.
One afternoon, Jonathan comes into the station in nice slacks and a button down shirt with a tie. Robin’s never seen him so dressed up.
Nancy is close behind, wearing a fancy blouse and skirt with her hair pinned up elegantly.
The sight just about knocks the wind out of Robin.
Steve smirks at her as he catches her eyes following Nancy’s every movement from where they’re lounging on the couch. She glares at him.
“Hi Steve, Robin. Sorry, can’t stay long, I just need to grab the records I forgot here yesterday before class.”
Jonathan smiles apologetically.
“Damn I don’t think I’ve ever seen either of you look so formal, what’s the occasion? Steve asks.
“Yeah, is it your anniversary or something?” Robin jokes.
Steve builds off it, “Got some fancy dinner plans later?”
Jonathan is quick to explain as he grabs two records off the desk, “Oh this? We both just did interviews for an internship and—”
“What do you mean?” Nancy interrupts before he can say anything else, looking at Robin.
“Aren’t you two dating?” Robin asks.
They look at each other and laugh. Robin is utterly confused as to what the joke could be.
“Been there, done that,” Nancy replies with a small smile.
Jonathan rubs the back of his neck, “Uh, I’m gay Robin.”
“No way! Me too!” Steve says excitedly, standing up quickly. “Well bisexual actually, but whatever.”
Jonathan breaks into a smile, the biggest one she’s ever seen on him.
Robin stands up next to Steve. She’s staring at Jonathan. Her ears feel like they’re ringing from hearing him, hearing anyone, admit it out loud so bluntly.
“Wait really?” She asks, incredulously.
He looks a little worried by her surprise. Steve elbows her.
“Shit, sorry. I’m, uh I’m gay too, just processing.”
Nancy has a confused expression on her face, “Wait so you’re not with Steve?”
“This dingus?” Robin juts a thumb out at him, “No way.”
“Hey!” Steve protests.
Jonathan looks at Steve, “So you like guys?”
Steve nods.
“And you’re single?”
Steve nods even more quickly.
“Good to know.”
Robin has never seen Steve look this flustered in her entire time knowing him. For once, the stupid suave persona he always puts on is dormant. She almost laughs out loud at the exchange.
Nancy looks genuinely shocked, “Wow, I did not expect to have something like this in common with Steve of all people.”
A spark flickers in Robin’s stomach.
“Yeah Steve, Nance is bi too,” Jonathan chuckles. “Who would’ve thought this is how all our high school drama would turn out.”
The spark ignites. Her whole body feels like it’s on fire when she turns to face Nancy. Nancy who is shooting her a small, almost shy, smile. Nancy who likes girls too.
Steve breaks the silence by cracking some joke that Jonathan and Nancy laugh at, Robin doesn’t even process what he said because her mind is racing and she feels crazily giddy.
Nancy taps her on the shoulder. Robin almost jumps out of her skin.
“Jonathan and I are headed out. See you later?”
“Yeah, definitely,” Robin replies, voice uncharacteristically high.
Nancy doesn’t say anything about it, but Robin internally chastises herself for how nervous and shaky she sounded. Then it’s just her and Steve again.
“Holy shit,” Steve breathes out.
“Yeah, holy shit,” Robin agrees.
It’s been two weeks since that big reveal that turned Robin’s world upside down and she hasn’t done anything with the information. Her brain keeps screaming at her to just ask Nancy out, clearly she hasn’t been reading any signs that could’ve been her flirting wrong.
Steve keeps nagging her to make a move too, he and Jonathan already went out on a date to the movies last Friday. She’s happy for them, obviously, but she doesn’t have the confidence Steve does.
She glances at the girl sitting in the spinning chair across from her. It’s Saturday. There’s nothing Nancy has to rush off to do. The four of them have already been in the station for a few hours because it’s especially hot out and the station somehow has better AC than the dorms. She’s got to do this now or she never will.
“Hey Nance?”
“Hmm?” Nancy hums.
Nancy tears her gaze away from where Steve and Jonathan are talking out on the balcony. She stares intently at Robin, brushing some curls out of her face. Robin swallows thickly, she didn’t think this through well.
“I was wondering if you’d like to, um, hang out sometime?”
“We’re hanging out right now,” Nancy says slowly, raising an eyebrow.
“No, like going somewhere else to hang out, besides the station.”
Robin bites her tongue. Wow she’s terrible at this. No wonder she never got anywhere beyond having crushes on girls in high school.
Even here, with that one girl Eden on her floor of her dorm last September that she was sure was a lesbian. She was sure she was being flirted with at the first floor meeting while the RA rambled on about the rules. But she chickened out about following up when Eden invited her to smoke with her sometime. She's skipped all the floor meetings since, constantly frustrated by the fact that she always lets her nerves get the best of her no matter how collected she tries to act.
She can’t lose Nancy because of her own self-sabotaging anxiety. She has to do this.
Nancy seems confused, “We’ve hung out outside of the station. We just played cards with Steve and Jonathan in Steve’s dorm last night.”
Robin knows that, of course she knows that. She was there, trying not to freak Nancy out by staring the entire time in utter disbelief over the revelation that she might actually have a chance with the brunette. She was there, trying not to jolt when their hands brushed as they both reached to pick up a new card while Nancy was accusing Steve of cheating.
“That’s not what I mean,” Robin says.
“What do you mean?”
“Like go somewhere together without the boys.”
Nancy still looks a little puzzled for a second, but there’s a little a flash of recognition in her eyes. Robin watches the hint of a smile play at the corner of her lips.
Robin has a feeling Nancy knows what she means now, but she’s not going to make this easy.
Robin sighs, glancing at the two boys who are still in their own world out on the balcony. She grabs Nancy’s hand and, thankfully, Nancy follows. She brings them into the record library and runs a hand through her hair.
“Do you want to like go catch a movie or get dinner or something, no Steve no Jonathan. Just us?”
“Are you asking me out?”
Robin inhales sharply.
“Yes?”
Robin squeezes her eyes shut. There’s silence. She opens them again and is glad to see the other girl is lightly shaking her head at her with a grin. That must be a good sign.
“I’d love to.”
Robin breathes out an audible sigh of relief.
“Now was that so hard?” Nancy teases.
“Shut up,” Robin mutters, only slightly embarrassed.
Nancy hooks her fingers in the belt loops of Robin’s jean shorts, pulling her closer.
“Make me.”
The words send a shiver shooting down Robin’s spine. It feels like her brain is short circuiting, all she can think about is how much she wants to kiss the girl in front of her senseless.
“You’re just full of surprises aren’t you?” Robin breathes, inches away from Nancy’s lips.
The brunette shrugs, smirking coyly.
In seconds she has her hands on Nancy’s hips, lightly pushing the girl the small distance back until she hits the wall.
“Is this okay?” Robin whispers. She was gentle, but she wants to make sure Nancy wants this just as much as her.
“More than okay,” Nancy breathes out.
The look in her eyes is enough to make Robin’s heart drop.
Nancy puts a hand around Robin’s neck, pulls her even closer, and then they’re kissing.
Nancy’s lips are soft, impossibly soft, and the sensation has Robin immediately sighing into the kiss. Nancy deepens it, tangling her fingers in Robin’s hair. It’s desperate and messy, but it’s perfect to Robin. She pours all of her emotions into it, needing Nancy to know just how much she’s wanted this.
They separate when that thing called air becomes necessary, Robin’s heart pounding in her ears.
Nancy leans her forehead against Robin’s as they catch their breaths and Robin feels like her body could spontaneously combust. She meets Nancy’s eyes and the brunette’s pupils are blown, the lipstick she had been wearing smudged. Affection blooms in Robin’s chest and she thinks she might already love this girl.
When they lean in for the second time, it’s gentler and full of promise. Robin wishes she could freeze this moment and live in it forever.
They’re startled apart by a knock on the door. Nancy jumps a little, Robin’s hands still on her hips.
“Everyone clothed?”
Robin squeezes her eyes shut in annoyance before yelling, “Fuck off Harrington!” at the door.
When she looks back at Nancy, the girl’s cheeks are flushed and she’s trying to discreetly fix her smudged lipstick. Robin can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face at the sight as they separate.
Steve opens the door and peeks his head around it with a smug look on his face.
“Oh extra snarky today are we?”
Robin glares at him as he opens the door fully.
He flashes Nancy a grin and makes a show of puffing up his hair, “She gets it from me.”
Robin scoffs, “The only thing I’ve gotten from being around you is brain damage.”
Steve rolls his eyes. Nancy laughs, the sound mingling with Jonathan’s approaching footsteps.
Jonathan appears next to Steve in the doorway, about to say something to him until he notices the two girls. He gives them a once over and turns to Steve who nods, smug grin reappearing.
Jonathan mirrors him with an amused smile directed at Robin, “Nice lipstick.”
“Yeah Rob,” Steve snickers, “Great shade on you.”
Robin mocks him exaggeratedly before flipping him off. She wipes at the corner of her lips but she doesn’t see anything on her fingertip. She figures it’s pointless without a mirror.
Nancy has her lips pursed apologetically when she turns to her.
“How noticeable is it?” Robin sighs.
“Only a little.” Nancy replies, nimble fingers grasping the side of Robin’s jaw gently to try to help swipe away some of the lipstick with a nail.
Robin’s breath hitches in her throat, but she ultimately relaxes.
Warmth floods her senses when she realizes for the first time that she can kiss Nancy whenever she wants now, that leaning into her touch won’t make her a social pariah to Nancy or the two dinguses standing in the doorway.
“Okay lovebirds, fix your makeup later. Jonathan and I are going for burgers at the diner down the road, you in?”
Steve jingles his car keys in the air, eyebrows raised.
Nancy’s hand retreats and Robin is already missing the contact.
“Are you paying?” Robin jokes.
“Funny since you still owe me for buying you pizza last week.”
“Whatever,” she turns to Nancy, “Are we in?”
Nancy nods, “Yeah, I’m starving.”
“Alright! Let’s roll.” Steve turns on his heel leading the way, the rest of them following suit.
Jonathan clambors into Steve’s passenger seat, unofficially calling shotgun. Robin is perfectly content to sit with Nancy in the backseat.
Nancy shoots her a shy smile when she sees Robin looking at her after they get in, but focuses more on the scenery beyond the window as Steve starts the car. Robin is worried for a minute that something is wrong or Nancy is having regrets, but then she notices Nancy drumming her fingers on the seat of the car between the two of them and realizes she must be nervous. Robin's never made a girl nervous before. She puts her hand over Nancy’s, stopping the movement. Nancy glances over and Robin offers her a reassuring smile. Thank god she’s not the only one who’s nervous.
“Hey, this is new for me too. We’ll figure it out together okay?” she whispers.
“Okay,” Nancy whispers back, visibly relaxing and seeming less anxious.
Nancy intertwines their fingers and squeezes her hand. Robin squeezes back. They smile at each other and Robin feels like she's the luckiest girl in the entire world.
Then Nancy seems to remember Steve and Jonathan in the front seat, checking to see if they noticed their private moment.
Robin knows they didn’t. She saw Steve lean across the gear shift to kiss Jonathan quickly at the last red light while Nancy was focused on the view outside the window. It’s clear the two only have eyes for each other right now.
Neither of them pull their hand away until they have to get out of the car. When they do break apart, it doesn’t stop Nancy from keeping Robin right next by her side as they walk into the little old diner.
She slides into the booth next to Nancy and wishes she could put her arm around her shoulder, but there’s no way that won’t give them away to the other patrons. Plus, she doesn’t want to scare Nancy away already.
She’s already dressed in a “boyish” outfit that would’ve definitely gotten a slur hurled her way in high school. But she’s sick of playing into people’s expectations, she’ll dress how she wants. She’s finally found people who won’t judge her.
She kicks Steve’s foot under the table when he insults her for declaring she’s going to order a vanilla milkshake instead of a chocolate one. Nancy teases Jonathan about something he did in high school. Robin feels like this is exactly where she’s supposed to be.
They order and eventually get their food, no thanks to Steve taking forever to make up his mind on what kind of burger he wanted. Robin forgot how much she’s missed real food.
“Shit this is good, I’m so sick of dining hall food. Steve you’ve gotta convince your rich ass parents to float you money to rent an apartment off campus with a kitchen or something next year,” Robin says.
“You know, that’s not such a bad idea,” he replies.
That comment turns out to be one of the best ideas Robin has ever had, because by the time the fall rolls around, her and Steve are roommates renting an apartment ten minutes from campus together. Robin feels like her life has suddenly become some gay sitcom, but she never wants to go back.
Their landlord is a little old woman who gives them a huge permanent discount on rent because she was so enamored with Steve when she met him. He’s always helping her with anything he can in return whenever she comes around.
It definitely isn’t fair to the other residents and probably isn’t legal, but Robin finds it hilarious and isn’t complaining because the place is nicer than she expected.
She had to really pull some strings with her family and scrape together some money to make it work, but she wasn’t about to miss out on a chance to not live in the dorms for relatively cheap.
She’s so grateful for the apartment after the boring summer she had in her stupid middle of nowhere hometown. Indiana had never seemed very big to Robin until she realized Hawkins was three hours away from where she lived and she had no license or car.
Steve had made fun of her and Nancy for ditching him and Jonathan to hang out together or makeout in Nancy’s car so much before the semester ended. Robin ignored him because she wanted to make the most of the time she had left with Nancy on campus, sue her.
Working shift after monotonous shift at a video store in her town to make some money really made her miss the two boys and her girlfriend terribly.
She had their phone numbers and she would call up Nancy often, so much actually that she had to restrain herself so as to not bother the other girl, but all four of them had summer jobs or internships and were relatively busy. It was simply too complicated to arrange a visit.
In mid August, her and Steve move in. The heat is almost unbearable as they move box after box, but she’s glad to be back.
Robin and Steve convince Nancy and Jonathan to come a few days after, even though the dorms aren’t open for the new school year yet. Their living room has a bunch of the two’s boxes of stuff stored there until the dorms open, but neither of them care. It’s worth having Nancy and Jonathan crash there just to see them again.
The latter half of the month before school starts again is everything Robin has ever wanted. The station is unlocked because Kenny apparently lives near campus, so they head over there a few times to relax. Robin has even convinced Nancy to smoke a few more times and Nancy has warmed up to it. The days and nights are perfumed with obsession, and half of Nancy’s wardrobe is on Robin’s bedroom floor.
Steve makes a better roommate than expected, even if his ridiculous amount of hair products clutter the countertop in the bathroom.
He can’t hide his ABBA records anymore once Jonathan begins spending so much time in his room. Jonathan finds his initial embarrassment about it adorable, just like Robin had been telling Steve he would.
He still teases her and Nancy every chance he gets. Just last week he had gone grocery shopping when Jonathan was out and almost caught Robin on top of Nancy on the couch.
Robin had scrambled off immediately when she heard his key in the lock, sitting there and trying to look like she didn’t just have her hands under Nancy’s shirt.
“At least turn on the tv to make it look like you haven’t just been making out,” he had called out as he dropped a grocery bag down on the kitchen counter.
It definitely didn’t help quell the blush on both of their cheeks, and he had a field day with it for the entire rest of the week.
She got back at him right before the dorms opened again, making him endure a million shitty vampire jokes about how she saw Jonathan kissing his neck as him and Jonathan were making out against the kitchen counter. That was the last time she ever got up in the middle of the night to get water when Jonathan was still living with them.
It’s honestly sad when the two move into their dorms and classes start up again. Robin misses them, wishes they could actually live there. Steve agrees, whining often about how much he misses Nancy’s cooking. They come around often though, and it’s always like they never left.
Still, Robin would do anything for more time with Nancy, more days, hours, minutes, even seconds, just to hear Nancy laugh, see her smile, dance around the apartment’s kitchen with her to a song on the radio late at night. But for now, she’ll take what she has, because it’s pretty damn good.