Chapter Text
Derek Morgan knew it wasn’t normal to wet the bed at the ripe age of twelve . He knew it wasn’t normal when his coach became kinder, more affectionate towards him. He knew it wasn’t normal when he kept him after practice for “extra practice”. He knew it wasn’t normal when the shoulder taps got harder and his grip when embracing got tighter. He knew all these things, so why didn’t he act on them?
He should've known, he should’ve just said “no” and ran for the hills, he should’ve pushed and screamed like there was no tomorrow.
But he didn’t. He’d let it happen, hell he practically welcomed it.
As Derek Morgan stood in front of his washer and dryer room with wet sheets, he felt empty. He felt dirty grimy hands lingering on his skin and he winced as he swore he felt the breath of another on his ear. It tickled in a way Derek Morgan hated.
Four days a week he has practice. Meaning he had three more practices this week with a devil. Three more times this week he had to hear the same voice that comforted him when his father died, three more times this week he has to hear the voice that praised him whenever he got a good run or throw in, three more times this week did he have to hear the cold voice that told him to let him do things that Derek Morgan didn’t want. Three more times this week. And that is only for this single week, not the twelve more to come.
As Derek Morgan shoves the second pair of sheets from just that week into the half filled washer, he calculates how many more times he had to hear the voice of his tormentor, his coach, his “replacement father”.
Too many times, is all he mustered
Derek Morgan knew it wasn’t normal when his mood swung in uncontrollable ways. He knew it wasn’t normal when he became scared to fall asleep because of the nightmares that followed. He knew it wasn’t normal when he found himself hating football, despising it, seeing it as the cause for his pains. He knew it, he knew it and so did Carl Buford.
He hated his friends, his dog, his family, his supporters. He hated all but his very own cause. He found himself unable to truly hold rage towards his tormentor.
And Derek Morgan hated himself for that.