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Dear Lucas Hey stalker,
I told myself that your letter would be the easiest to write, so I saved it for last. But now, trying to figure out how to put it all into words, I think your letter is the hardest. It’s not because I don’t know what to say. The problem, my problem, is that I have too much to say; that’s a shocker, huh? I know I don’t deserve to have you hear me out, not after pushing you away since last summer. I only did it because I didn’t want to drag you down with me, Lucas. It was never because I stopped liking you or caring about you. I pushed you away and broke up with you because I was so scared that you could see me. I was scared that if you kept looking at me, you’d see something wrong with me- something that made you hate me- and then you’d leave and I’d be all alone again. I wanted to be the one who made me lonely; it didn’t work as well as I hoped. You’re still here, even now as I write this. You and Dustin are bickering over the best pizza topping, and Steve’s told you to shut up four times now. Maybe he thinks your conversation isn’t helping me, but it kind of is. It almost feels like last spring, when we all called for a pizza delivery but couldn’t decide on something that everyone liked, so we ended up with four different pizzas and Mike had to steal money from his dad’s wallet to pay for it. You walked me home that night, remember? I do. It was so stupid and cheesy, but it started to rain and you kissed me and for just a second I thought about how maybe you and I could be different; different from my mom and dad, and different from my mom and Neil. Maybe I’m just not the kind of person who deserves different, but you are.
I thought Hawkins was going to be so shit compared to California. I thought I’d hate it here and eventually annoy my dad enough to convince him to let me move back in with him. But then you and the rest of the party followed me around those first couple of days, not so subtly stalking me. I probably should have been more upset or annoyed, but you and your stupid dorky smile made me feel like maybe Hawkins wouldn’t be the worst place in the world. Then you told me the truth, even though you didn’t have to. You didn’t even know me, but you trusted me. I never asked you why? I guess if this curse kills me I won’t get the answer, but maybe say it aloud or something, and maybe my ghost will pick it up. That’s how that works, right? I’m sure Dustin’s read a book on the afterlife. Maybe ask him how to use an Ouija Board and it’ll be like I’m still there, right? You trusted me with your secret, you let me in your little club, and I don’t think I ever said thanks. All of this, all of the good stuff that’s happened to me in this shitty, cursed town, I got because of you. I’m sorry I ruined it. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m just sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me, but if you don’t I won’t be mad.
You saved me, Lucas. You and the party. Please don’t blame yourselves for not being able to save me this time around. Maybe this is just how things are supposed to end. At least I got to meet you; no monster or curse can take that away from me.
I love you.
Max
Lucas gripped the piece of notebook paper tightly in his hand that it crinkled and dotted with a few rouge tears that slipped from his eyes. A shuttered breath fell from his lips before his body started to move on autopilot. He threw on a pair of shoes and the first hoodie left lying on his floor. In a bout of clumsy movements, a spinning mind, and so many words trapped on the tip of his tongue, Lucas took off on his bike down the darkened streets of Hawkins.
There were only a few instances in his life where he peddled so fast, but he didn’t want to waste another second. He managed to reach the trailer park in a record time and dropped his bike in Max Mayfield’s front yard before he sprinted up the front steps and knocked on the door like his life depended on it.
After a few agonizing moments, the door was swung open by a tired-looking Max. She rubbed her bright eyes and stared at him in a mix of surprise and confusion.
“Lucas? What-”
“I read your letter,” Lucas blurted out.
Max visibly paled and crossed her arms over her chest. “Y-You weren’t supposed to. Those were for, like, if I died. And I didn’t.”
“I know, but I just…I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know what you wrote and…” Lucas trailed off, feeling him getting choked up again. At the break in his voice and glossiness of his eyes, Max dropped her arms from her defensive stance and her whole demeanor softened. Stepping forward, Lucas wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in the crook of her neck and holding onto her like he was terrified she’d slip away from him again. “I never hated you for pushing me away. I could never hate you, Max.”
She wound her arms around his neck and squeezed her eyes closed tightly. “I was just scared,” she whispered.
“I know.”
The two kids were illuminated in the dim glow of the light post just outside Max’s trailer and bathed in the warm spring breeze as summer crept around the corner once again. That summer would be different, Lucas was determined. Their lives would be different; it had to be.
Max pulled away first, with a sniffle and a small smile on her lips that caused Lucas’s heart to beat louder inside his chest. He loved her smile; he loved to see her smiling. “You biked all the way out here just to hug me? Like a dork?” She tried to ease the heavy tension that was built up in the letter she wrote to him, and that was stuck inside Lucas’s head.
“No.” Lucas matched her small, almost hesitant smile, and shook his head. “I-I love you too.”
The playful look that glinted in Max’s eyes fell away and morphed into something between shock and disbelief. They stood close, but Lucas stepped even closer with slight hesitation. He moved slowly and a little awkwardly, giving Max enough time to step away and shut him down. Instead, she gripped the fabric of his hoodie and pulled him close before connecting their lips in a quick kiss. It was innocent and careful, like the first time they kissed at the snowball. But there was the ghost of tears in both of their eyes and their hearts bled with a certain kind of desperation to stay together, and not be alone anymore.
Max Mayfield was not alone, and even if the entire world was against Lucas Sinclair, he’d make sure she never was lonely again.