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It’s the noise that wakes Annabeth.
At first, she thinks she’s still dreaming. Vivid images throughout the night aren’t uncommon for demigods. Too often she shuts her eyes, only to be present in another world that’s too horrifying to even think about after awakening.
Tonight, she’d been sleeping pretty soundly, which is why the noise startles her into consciousness. She sits up in bed, alert and reaching for the knife on her end table, before remembering that there is no knife there. It’s currently tucked away in the back of their closet. She hasn’t been attacked by a monster in almost a year, so she’s been relying on it less and less.
Empty-handed, she glances sideways to the silhouette of her sleeping bedmate Percy, and realizes what the noise is.
Whimpering. Low, agonized, whimpering. The man beside her is weeping, but as he faces away from her, she can’t tell if he’s awake or asleep.
Annabeth hesitates to touch him. As much as she wants to alleviate his pain, she’s afraid to scare or startle him even further. The last thing she needs is for him to snatch at the pen in his pajama pants pocket, and uncap it before he realizes who it is that has woken him.
Though, that has never happened before. He’s not a violent man by nature, but their pasts don’t exactly lend credence to peaceful presents.
She decides after a moment, she can’t stand the thought of allowing him to suffer this any longer.
Reluctantly, she leans over and gently, oh so gently, nudges his bare shoulder with her hand. His flesh is warm to the touch, but not so much that she’s immediately concerned. He’s been much hotter before.
She tries not to remember his feverish body in the pit. The way he looked like a dead man walking. The way he-
No. She is not going down that road tonight. He needs her.
“Percy?” she whispers, “It’s me, Annabeth. Wake up.”
It’s as if she pulled the trigger on a gun. He shoots up into a sitting position like a bullet firing, sucking in a loud gasp of air that’s half-scream, half sob. His arms come up across his face in defense, cowering from whatever had been attacking him in the dream.
After a beat, he seems to come back to earth, shakily lowering his arms and glancing over at Annabeth. The moonlight streaming in through their parted curtains casts an luminous glow on his deep green eyes. While the multifaceted shade is usually beautiful, tonight, his eyes are wide and frightened, panic surging deep within them at an unseen horror.
“Hey,” Annabeth attempts to sound soothing, “Hey, Percy it’s just me. You’re okay, you’re safe. We’re in our apartment. No one’s gonna hurt you.”
His hands reach out, and she takes them. Calloused and warm, large compared to her own. She knows his hands as if they are a part of her, scarred with injuries from many battles, but tender and loving.
She holds him tightly, squeezing the pressure points on his palm to remind him he’s here with her, safe. Percy exhales shakily, his large shoulders still trembling.
At twenty three, Percy is bigger than she’s ever seen him. Tall and broad, fully outgrown his skater-boy look into a man’s body. Thick muscles wind down his bare arms as he sits shirtless, his dark hair trussed from tossing and turning in his sleep, his tanned skin luminous in the moonlight.
He is utterly beautiful, astonishing in more ways than one. But Annabeth can’t focus on that right now.
“Deep breaths.” She says softly, “I’m here.”
He squeezes her hand again, his eyes unfocused as he tries to ground himself. She knows this routine well by now, it is a practice they’d been helping each other through for years. Half the time it’s her waking up in screams and tears.
Even as the years passed and maturity took them to new places in life, some things stayed the same. Their love for one another, and their shared trauma. It was never going to go away. Either one.
But that was okay. They now know how to manage these things. How to help each other when the memories come flooding back. The past decade they’d spent together was enough foundation to make nights like these easy to handle.
Well, it’s never easy, but at least Annabeth knows how to help him.
Finally, Percy manages a weak, “I-I’m fine.”
Always the hero.
“You don’t have to be fine.” She whispers, “I’m here. Talk to me. It sounded like a bad one.”
He closes his eyes, nose scrunching up as if he’s trying to wash his brain of the images from the dream.
“Did someone hurt you?” she asks, “A giant? A monster? Kr-” she stops herself short before saying the name, knowing both that names have power, and how truly terrified Percy still is of the Titan lord who’d possessed Luke and nearly ended the world.
He shakes his head, “No no. I didn’t get hurt.”
Of course. She should’ve known better. Percy had never really feared for his own safety.
“Me?” she asks, though she already knows the answer.
He nods once, letting out a loud breath, “You were at work, and the office was overrun by monsters. I saw it all through the window of the building but I was paralyzed, couldn’t move. Everytime I tried to get to you something invisible held me back. And then, it changed. I tried to run forward but when I finally moved, I fell and then I was there.”
Annabeth doesn’t need clarification on which “there” he’s talking about. It’s the “there” he still can’t really say. The place they almost died more times than she can remember. The place they drank fire, the place she went blind, and thought he abandoned her. The place where he was doused with curses, blood-bended and drowned a monster in her own poison, the place they had to become people who did whatever they could to survive.
Tartarus.
Percy has been afraid of even saying the name since they escaped. Even though it’s been years, the memories don’t seem to fade.
“I understand.” she whispers, sensing that if he continues, he will break down again. Sometimes talking helps, but sometimes it just makes everything more vivid. And that isn’t always a good thing.
“Listen to me.” she says, “You’re not there.”
“I’m not there.” He repeats.
“You’re safe. You’re home. We’re never going back again.”
“I’m safe. I’m home. We-we’re n-never going back a-again.” his voice breaks on the last word.
“Percy.” Annabeth breathes, subtlety forgotten as she lurches forward and pulls his large body into her arms.
He submits to the embrace, burying his face in the crook of her neck as she feels hot tears dampen her skin. She cradles the back of his head, fingers locked in his thick hair. She listens to the deep sobs coming from his chest.
“I know.” she whispers, trying to keep her own tears at bay, “I know.”
There isn’t anything else she can do to make it better. He has to feel this to move past it.
She isn’t sure how long they sit there, the only sound in the room is his broken noises of pain as he clings to her and cries.
There was a point she can remember where he was too shy to let her see this. He tried to be strong, to assure her he was okay. But this was always happening behind closed doors.
The first time he broke down like this in front of her she knew a wall had come down. She was glad he trusted her and would let her see the truth. It wasn’t like she wasn’t going through the same thing. It was better to face it together.
Still, the sound of his agony never gets easier to hear.
After a while he calms down, his breathing evens out and his tears dry up, leaving him with red-rimmed green eyes. The tip of his nose is red from sniffling as well, and it would be cute if it wasn’t so heartbreaking.
He pulls away from Annabeth, wiping at his face and sighing heavily. She knows the worst of it is over, but now his shoulders slump and his body is drained. Now, she can try to help.
“Hey, Seaweed Brain?” she nudges him gently.
Percy glances over his shoulder to look at her, and he’s already fighting a smile.
“What?”
“I love you.”
Now, he does smile, “I love you too, Wise Girl.”
Annabeth’s fingers trail delicately down the center of his spine. His back is thick, skin decorated with scars that she yearns to kiss. She loves his marred flesh, though it agonizes her to think about all the pain he’s suffered, she knows it’s just a sign of his strength.
Still, he sometimes gets shy about them. She can feel his body tense up as her index traces a decent sized, light pink scar above his ribs, possibly the circular arc of a blade. She for some reason doesn’t recognize this one, but it looks newer. She knows it was a painful injury just from the placement of it.
“You are so wonderful.” Annabeth says quietly, “Your strength, Percy. It’s amazing.”
He scoffs, “It’s nothing compared to you, Wise Girl. Really.”
She smiles, because it’s such a Percy response to being praised, “Must you always deflect the compliments to me?”
A small laugh breaks through his throat, and he turns again so he’s facing her completely. One of his hands comes up to gently lift her chin so they’re eye-to-eye. She finds herself frozen in place, somehow still entranced by his beautiful sea green eyes. Even after all these years, looking at him never becomes less incredible.
“Everything I am, and everything I’ve done, is because of you.” He brushes a lock of curly blonde hair behind her ear, and Annabeth shudders at his tender touch.
“Your sweet talk has gotten so much better.” She muses with a wry smile.
“Spend enough time with such a know-it-all, eventually you catch on to stuff.” He jipes.
Annabeth snorts out a laugh, “It’s not like I’m an expert at sweet talk, Seaweed Brain. I think you get all this sensitive gooey stuff from your mom.”
“Gooey!?” he exclaims, releasing her face with a roll of his eyes, “That’s rude, Wiseass. Honestly I’m wounded.”
She laughs again, because it’s a relief to hear him return to his normal, teasing self. But also, part of her tinges with worry that maybe he’s brushed it all off a little too quickly. He has a habit of doing that.
“Percy?” Annabeth asks, and her voice is reluctant. She doesn’t want to force him to talk about these things, but she knows if he doesn’t, it will just fester and get worse.
“Annabeth.” He says quietly, and she gets the feeling he knows where this is about to go.
“We have to talk about it.” She replies, “You haven’t had a night like this in a while.”
He doesn’t respond at first. The room is quiet again, just their hushed breathing and the sounds of honking cars on the streets of New York outside. She knows his face well enough by now to read the emotion written across it.
He is afraid.
She understands. It’s hard to voice these things sometimes, especially as they try to navigate the mortal world and become functioning adults. College is over now.
With Annabeth interning full time at an architecture firm downtown and Percy pulling double shifts at the fire station, there hasn’t been much time to think about things like their past, or monsters, or the threats that loom just beyond the scope of their everyday routine.
They’ve been lucky. There hasn’t been an attack in nearly a year. But that doesn’t mean the possibility ever goes away.
“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” She tries to soothe him, but even as she speaks she knows the words aren’t enough. It isn’t a promise she can make.
“I’m putting you at risk, just by being here.” Percy’s voice is a little curt, short as he responds, “You’re so close to me everyday, eventually they’re going to smell me on you.”
Annabeth sighs before he’s even finished speaking. She’s known this was coming for a while now.
Before moving in together last summer, Percy had expressed concerns about his powers and smell attracting monsters to her. It was one thing to date, but to live together, their lives so entangled. His scent was surely on her in ways that couldn’t be washed from the keen noses of monsters. Children of the other gods could try to slip by undetected, but one of the big three? Their power was like a beam attracting monsters. He always said he didn’t want to put even more of a target on her back.
Annabeth, of course, didn’t care. Nothing was going to keep her from sharing her life with the man she loved. She could handle herself.
And so far, it hasn’t been an issue. At least, not for her.
Her brows furrow and she studies his guilty expression, suddenly wondering if there is something he’s not telling her. Something maybe he should tell her.
“Percy?” she inquires, “Did…something happen?”
His loud exhale is enough of an answer. He scratches the back of his neck and glances at her sheepishly.
“Perseus Jackson!” Annabeth exclaims with frustration, “Were you attacked?”
There’s a moment of quiet while he clams up and seems to be having some sort of internal debate. Then, with another sigh, he begins speaking as if the words are tumbling out from an open bag.
“Okay, it wasn’t a big deal. I was on my way home from my night shift the other morning and I stopped for a bite. I got this feeling when I was leaving the pizza place-”
“Pizza for breakfast Percy?” Annabeth demands.
He stares at her, “Is that what you want to focus on?”
“Nevermind, we’ll revisit that later. Go on.”
“Can’t wait.” he rolls his eyes again before continuing, “Anyway, I’m halfway through my meat lover’s slice and I just got this feeling. You know the kind. I turned just in time for some stupid manticore to slash my side.”
He gestures obligatorily to the pink scar Annabeth had noticed earlier above his ribs. No wonder it looks so new. It’s barely a few days old.
“Oh my gods.” Annabeth manages, “A mancitore? Here? On the street?”
She can’t help but remember nearly a decade ago when Percy and she had faced a manticore on the night they met Nico Di Angelo. The thing had caused her to get kidnapped.
It’s not a pleasant memory.
“I took him out quickly. He was brave but pretty stupid. No one else got hurt. He must’ve just been passing through and caught a whiff of demigod.”
“The poison?” she asks, eyes combing his body worriedly for any other signs of injury.
“Hurt like Hades but I managed to make it home and pretty much drown myself in the bathtub. Wasn’t as good as the real thing, but the water did the trick. It’s already pretty healed.”
Annabeth is at a loss, “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“‘Cause Annabeth, I didn’t want you to worry.” He shrugs, expression still riddled with guilt, “Things have been so good lately, it’s been starting to feel safer. You don’t even bring your knife with you to work anymore -which I’m still against, by the way- I just didn’t want to ruin that for you. Any chance at feeling normal.”
“Percy…” Her voice is laced with sadness, “I love you for trying to protect me.” she leans in and meets his eyes with a hard gaze, “But if you ever keep something like this from me again, we’re going to have a problem. I’m talking Olympic scale torture.”
His mouth twitches in a small smile, “You’re so attractive when you threaten my life.”
“I know. Seriously Percy I can’t believe you’d keep this from me. I could’ve helped you. Now you’re having nightmares.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry, I should’ve said something.” Percy looks at her face, and those big green eyes are so contrite she finds it hard to stay angry, “I just wish I could protect you from all this stuff. I’ve always wished that.”
“I wish I could protect you too.” She replies truthfully, “But being in the dark never helped anyone. I hate to think of you being attacked and suffering on your own…and if it had gone the other way and you hadn’t made it out…” she shudders, “I can’t lose you, okay? Don’t keep things like this to yourself.”
“I won’t, I promise.” He’s reaching for her again, taking her face in his hand, “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.” Her response is instant, and it makes him smile slightly.
“Please bring your knife with you to work. I know it feels safe and I’m sure it is…but with this attack and now the dream...” he cringes, “I don’t like the thought of you not having some way to defend yourself.”
Annabeth frowns, thinking of the various metal detectors she has to walk through to enter the front of her high-security building. They have government blueprints and confidential information, so they are studious about who enters.
That of course, doesn’t include monsters. Monsters play by their own rules. Rules that mortals can’t even comprehend.
“I’ll figure out a way to get it in.” She promises, “Just in case.”
“Thank you.” He breathes softly, and the tension seeps out of his shoulders, “That helps.”
“Good.” Annabeth’s sentence is cut short by an involuntary yawn. She hates to admit it, but she’s exhausted.
Between her internship and trying to help Percy through his long days (rookie shift, never fun at a firehouse) she’s beat. They both have the day off tomorrow, which is a relief. They’d made plans for a picnic in central park and maybe a visit to Camp to see some friends and Chiron.
“Sleep.” Percy says, and she hates the guilty look on his face, “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“Don’t start.” She warns, “If we start apologizing for this stuff we’ll be saying sorry every other day. It’s my job to be here for you, I’m your…” she isn’t sure what the right word is, honestly.
She is his girlfriend, of course but…lately that word hasn’t felt strong enough. They’ve been through so much together. The terms “boyfriend and girlfriend” always feel reductive.
“Future wife?” he grins.
“Oh?” Annabeth cocks an eyebrow up, “Is that so?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, “It can be so. If you want it to be so.”
She can’t help but giggle, “That doesn’t make sense. But uh...I do want it to be so.”
“Just gimme some time to plan a proposal good enough for the world’s wisest girl.” Percy says as he spreads his arms and jerks his chin for her to come into his embrace.
Annabeth eagerly scoots in, feeling his large biceps wrap around her body as he pulls her against his warm chest. She breathes in his familiar smell, fresh and crisp like the bite of sea air on the beach.
As they lay back, her head presses into the soft skin on his chest. His heartbeat thrums rhythmically against her ear, and she feels herself sigh contentedly at the sound of it.
“I don’t need anything fancy.” She assures him, “Just you. Forever.”
“Who’s gooey now?” he mutters.
Annabeth doesn’t reply, just smiles as Percy squeezes her tighter against him. One of his hands wraps around to intertwine their fingers. She rubs her thumb along the length of his knuckles, feeling her eyelids grow heavy.
“I love you.” Percy whispers.
“I love you too.” Annabeth replies, before a yawn cuts in.
There’s a smile in his voice when he says, “Goodnight Annabeth.”
“Goodnight Percy.”