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The sky was dark and dreary, the clouds heavy and the rain relentless. The harsh winds whipped through the empty streets of the village, rattling windows and shaking barren tree branches. Sakura sighed and watched as the last Uchiha survivor looked out the large windows of the Hokage tower. She took notice of his eyebrows furrowed in worry and the way his fist clenched and unclenched - his tell tale sign of restlessness. Today had been hard. It always was. But as much as it pained her, she knew it hit him, and her, the hardest. Taking in a slow, deep breath Sakura stretched her arms above her head and leaned against the back rest of her chair. The motion caught Sasuke’s eyes and he watched as the pinkette tidied up her desk and stood up. He made a move to follow her out as she headed toward the doors of the office, but a gentle hand on his chest halted his steps. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow as Sakura stood in front of him. She nodded her head in the direction of the window and mouthed the word “go.” She knew that as much as Sasuke wanted to, needed to, he wasn’t one to easily neglect his duties. He was the 8th Hokage’s personal bodyguard and during these uncertain times, he felt couldn’t afford to be lax.
“Raccoon!” Sakura voiced, and as soon as she had said the name, the anbu summoned was knelt in front of her, head bowed, “Hokage-sama.”
“Lee will be here in less than five minutes. You know he’s never late. Trust that him, my anbu guard, and myself most of all, can take of me. You’re needed somewhere else right now.” Her eyes were kind and tone gentle, but she left no room for arguing. Nodding his head and squeezing her shoulder in thanks, Sasuke quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Sakura rubbed her eyes with her thumb and middle finger. She kept them closed while a few tears escaped down her face. Today was tough. It always was and showed no signs of getting better, if only a tiny bit easier to deal with. She missed him. She missed him so much and as she took on a roll that was meant for him, coveted by him, the pain of losing him and the pressure of filling his shoes could get overwhelming at times.
Raccoon stayed silent, still knelt where he had appeared. He made no sign to move as a knock was heard on the other side of the door. Sakura wiped her face before opening it to reveal a smiling Lee. “Hi my love! Hope you don’t mind I’m a little early.” Sakura only shook her head. The knot in her throat was growing bigger by the second and she didn’t trust her voice. But Lee didn’t need to hear her; he knew. Carefully cradling Sakura’s face in his calloused hands, he used his thumb to brush away the last of her tears. “Let’s go home.” Sakura bit her lower lip to keep herself together. She could at least make it to the safety of their shared home. There, in Lee’s strong arms, she could let herself cry properly.
***
Sasuke’s dark hair whipped around his face as lighting crackled above him. The bitter gusts of wind were icy and nipped at his exposed skin, but he paid it no mind. Taking careful steps across the headstones of many, he walked through the cemetery to where he knew he’d find her.
He sent a small amount of chakra ahead of him, to let her know of his presence, but the woman in front of him, soaked to the bone, didn’t acknowledge him. She was still standing in the same exact spot that he had left her in six hours ago, long after the memorial had ended. She was shivering and her ankles were swollen. Sasuke draped his cloak over her shoulders, unsure if it even made a difference at this point. She didn’t even look at him. It was always like this.
Sasuke nudged her elbow. “You’re going to get sick. He’s going to haunt me if I let you stay here any longer.”
A sardonic laugh left her chapped, trembling lips but she made no effort to move. She couldn’t. She knew if she tried she’d fall apart like Jenga blocks stacked too high. She hated today. It was always harder on this day. And every day took everything in her to simply exist anymore.
Sasuke gently pried the bouquet of lilies from Hinata’s frozen hands and laid them atop the other bouquets on his headstone. Turning to face Hinata, he locked his mismatched eyes with hers. Even with the dark circles and bags under them, they were still as hauntingly beautiful as ever. “I’m going to take you home now.” She simply closed her eyes.
Summoning a susanoo left arm, he placed his right one across her back and crouched to place his temporary one behind her knees. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck and he let out a breathe he didn’t realize he was holding when he saw she wasn’t going to put up a fight this time.
Clutching her close to him, the shadow Hokage began his trek back to her place. When they arrived at the modest apartment, he expertly used his right hand to grab the extra key from the potted plant under the window and opened the front door. He was keyed into the protection seals so he quickly made his way inside, eager to get her out of the rain. Kicking off his shoes and shutting the door with his foot, he walked into the middle of the small apartment. “Room or couch?” His voice was low and soft. “Couch.” Hers was barely above a whisper.
He laid her delicately on the sofa, her head on a decorative pillow. She curled in on herself and he took the time to take her shoes off. He placed them next to his in the genkan and turned the heater on, on his way to her bedroom. With an ease that shouldn’t be his, he opened the right drawer with her sleep wear and grabbed her a warm nightgown and a pair of fuzzy socks. He avoided looking at the picture above the dresser. He always did when he was in their bedroom.
When he entered the living room once again, he wasn’t surprised to see she hadn’t moved an inch from where he had placed her. Her lips were chattering and there was a slight tremor to her body, but she made no move to rid herself of the drenched clothing, not caring that her couch was also getting affected. He ran a hand through his hair. She was in a “doll mood” today.
After everything happened, Sasuke had soon come to realize that Hinata handled her sadness in many different ways. On especially taxing days, she entered what he called her “doll mood.” She became a shell of herself, losing any motivation to move or speak. These were the days that were extra hard for her, but easier for him to maneuver. Kneeling in front of the couch, he slid his arm under her and hoisted her into a sitting position. Setting the socks aside, he used his mouth to unfurl the nightgown and position it into his right hand to slip over her head. She didn’t help him, but she didn’t make it harder for him either, and for that he was thankful. Pulling the gown securely over her frame, he knew he had to act quickly before it also soaked up the water from her dress underneath. “I’m going to remover your dress under your pjs, ok?” This time he saw Hinata subtlety nod her head and that was what he needed to slip his hand under the nightgown, unzip the back of her dress, and unclip her bra, making sure his fingers never actually touched her skin. He slid everything down to her waist and then carefully put both her arms through the arm holes. He once again wrapped an arm around her and hauled her up as carefully as he could, but with enough momentum that the sopping clothing slipped all the way off and down her hips. The soggy dress fell to the floor with a heavy thud and he laid her back down. He lifted her feet back on the couch and put the warm socks on her. He grabbed her wet clothes and stood up. He threw the dress into the laundry room on his way to the bedroom to grab her favorite blanket and a towel. Like always, he avoided the pictures.
She was asleep when he entered the living room again and he covered her with the blanket, making sure to tuck her securely into it. With the towel, he dried her hair as best he could and also threw that into the laundry room when he was done. He filled her carafe with water and grabbed some painkiller from her medicine cabinet. He placed them on the coffee table in front of her and took the time to survey the apartment. All the seals he had placed were still in place and active. Exhaling quietly, he gently ran the back of his hand against her cold cheek.
Today was hard. It always was.
But without Naruto around, he knew the only one who could protect her was him.