Chapter Text
Robin wasn't the type of person to steal things. Well, she thought she wasn't.
Like most of the time, Robin went to the library after eating lunch. It wasn't like she had anyone to hang out with, and today wasn't a day she was supposed to practice with the marching band either - she'd practice on Wednesdays lunch breaks; otherwise, it was after school on Thursdays -. She liked her solitude. Well, kind of. Sometimes, she thought about making friends, but she didn't want to stand out too much. She felt right, in her 'non-existence' at school: it was peaceful, and safe. Hawkins didn't offer that much of a choice in people, anyway. Robin never understood why her parents came here to live their lives and stay there forever. Not only was Hawkins in the middle of nowhere, but the teenager did think the little town was stuck at least 10 years, if not 20, before the actual year on the calendar. Everything here looked so old. The people looked old. The buildings looked old. Hell, even the kids and teens looked old.
And, on top of that, the other teens at her school were mostly boring, or they were mean. Like Lori and her group of friends. They liked to bully Robin when she was a freshman. Luckily, they seemed to have lost interest in that since the start of the new school year as they didn't even talk to the young girl again. Robin didn't want to claim 'victory' yet, though, because it was only the end of September. They might as well decide start again the day after, or the week after. She couldn't be sure of anything, and she had to play safe. Making friends would bring more attention to her, which would probably cause Lori to bully her again. And disturb her peace. Wouldn’t it?
It still felt lonely, but she had no real other choice. People didn’t seem to be much interested in her anyway. So, she was always hanging out in the school library. And even though it could get a bit boring when she wasn’t feeling like it, Robin was safe there. Lori wouldn't dare to even take a small step in the library: she' was way too popular - and too stupid - to do so.
Wanting to hide from Lori wasn’t the only reason the young girl chose to spend her time at the library. After all, she’d always been interested in books, and learning was something she loved. That was the whole point why Robin was looking for French books. More specifically, novels written in French. Studying French wasn't that easy, and she thought it would help her to read books in that language. As she liked to say, books felt more whole and deeper when read in their original language. In thirty minutes, she hadn't found anything with a single word in French – which was weird, as she was sure there was plenty -. Robin took a quick look at the clock on the wall on her left, and sighed as she noticed there was only thirty minutes left before the lunch break was over. Frustrated by the lack of success, she decided to stop searching. Maybe they’d all already been taken by a teacher, after all. She would come back the next day, there was nothing urgent.
She turned around, ready to look for something else instead, but she made a whole row of books fall to the ground with her movement. "Shit," she whispered between her teeth, angry at herself, while kneeling to the ground so she could pick up the dozen of fallen books. Why was she so clumsy?
Robin picked them one by one, putting them all back on their shelf, mumbling some words of hatred at herself and at all the dust covering the books – was that place even dusted from time to time? –. After she almost finished to pick up the whole row, one of the books still lying on the ground caught her eye. It was old, like most things in that town. The pages were yellow and smelled like dust and humidity due to the long time the book had passed on that shelf without being moved. By seeing the thickness of the layer of dust that rested on top, it must’ve been years since someone last picked it up and read it. Robin blew on it, making the dust to fall to the ground, before reading the title: The Price of Salt. Its cover was gray, with a drawing of salt on it (surprising, isn’t it?). At the bottom of that cover was written 'A modern novel of two women'. What was that even supposed to mean?
She sat against the bookshelf, the nearest, and opened it, trying to figure out if that book would be interesting enough for her to read. It did not take long for her to find something that would convince her to keep the novel. On that page, in black on supposedly-white sheets, was written /!\(Spoiler of 'The Price of Salt'): 'Carol raised her hand slowly and brushed her hair back, once on either side, and Therese smiled because the gesture was Carol, and it was Carol she loved and would always love. Oh, in a different way now because she was a different person, and it was like meeting Carol all over again, but it was still Carol and no one else. It would be Carol, in a thousand cities, a thousand houses, in foreign lands where they would go together, in heaven and in hell.'
Robin's eyes widened when she read that. It was a book about two women in love, was it? She didn't even know that type of book existed before!
She felt something she couldn't describe. A mix of adrenaline and happiness and fear and excitement. She put it aside, finished picking up the books she had made fall, and took The Price of Salt with her.
Since last school year, Robin had felt... abnormal. Well, abnormal maybe wasn’t the right word, but she definitely felt like she didn’t belong anywhere. Every girl of her age was dating a boy, or at least they had a crush on one. But she was never interested in that. And she realized it wasn't normal when, in May, she went to Indianapolis with her parents - like they'd do sometimes - and she saw a girl working at the restaurant they ate at. She was beautiful, and when it was Robin's turn to place her order, she started to stutter so much her dad had to say it for her. When the gorgeous server was gone, Robin realized she was as red as a strawberry, and that she had butterflies in her stomach. Yes, the type of butterflies every teenage girl talked about. Robin Buckley felt something she had never felt before, and it was scary as hell. Not so long after that, she started to do some research about gay people. She discovered that same time the term for gay women was 'lesbian', and even though she found the label to fit her well, she panicked. There was no way she was a lesbian, right? It was impossible she was one, not her! She couldn’t like girls, it wasn’t right. All she thought about for days, turning into weeks, up until today, was that. What if she really was? It was wrong, everyone knew that. Lori would bully her even more if she knew. Her parents would disown her, and she'd end up forever alone in some cheap apartment in some nowhere town, with a cat and some plants as her only company.
Well, maybe she was being a tiny bit dramatic, but that scenario could be very likely to happen! And she knew - or at least, believed that - she wasn't supposed to read that book, but she couldn't stop herself from wanting to. She was way too curious. That was a dangerous game, but she was willing to pay the price if needed. While taking a few books she had already read before in her arms on her way to the librarian's counter, she hid the book under her jacket the best she could, hoping the old woman wouldn't notice it.
"Hi Mrs Bessler," Robin grinned while putting down the pile of books she held in her hands on the countertop. "How are you feeling, today?"
"Miss Buckley! Always a pleasure to see you, darling. I'm doing well, thank you for asking." She paused to look at the stack. "It's getting rarer and rarer to see young people reading that much, you know. I'm impressed by you."
"I always loved to read; I don’t think I’ll ever stop."
"Well, I hope you’re right." The old woman started to register the books. "People change, I'd miss you if you stopped coming."
"I'd miss you too, Mrs Bessler," responded Robin with a small smile.
The librarian smiled too, and gave her back the books.
"Good luck to carry all those on your bike, darling. Be careful not to injure yourself."
"Don't worry, I'll be ok. I wish you a great day, Mrs Bessler!" Robin started walking towards the door.
"Have a great day too, Robin."
Once Robin got outside the library, she ran to her locker, opened it, and shoved The Price of Salt in her backpack before anyone could see it. She felt the adrenaline go through her veins. She stole a book. A book about women loving each other in a romantic way.
Robin took a deep breath.
What the hell was wrong with her?