Chapter Text
Azula had lost track of the days a long time ago, years ago in fact. She didn’t like to think about that much, the fact that it had been years since the fall of the Fire Nation to the Avatar. The fact that it had been years since she’d failed her mission, as the daughter of Ozai, the granddaughter and name sake of Azulon. Her mission as the Princess of the Fire Nation. What was she now? Princess of nothing. She hadn’t bothered to stick around to see what became of her nation after it was clear who would win the battle, escaping her restraint and disappearing.
Azula would never admit it to anyone, most definitely not to herself, but she’d been scared then, more scared than she’d ever been in her entire life when she’d run away. She’d run through forests and caves, and ate what she found and never looked into reflective pools because she didn’t recognize who she was anymore. Sometimes she saw that dangerously unstable teenager who wanted nothing more than to feel powerful, and like she was still in control despite the fact that she didn’t feel at home in her own mind.
Sometimes she saw herself as she had been, pristine and put together, and yet older and more mature. She always knew those versions of herself were mere wishful thinking, after all she didn’t know how to do her hair, she had no makeup to do her face and wouldn’t know what to do with it if she did. Her pristine Fire Nation attire had been swapped out for stolen clothes of commoners before retreating into the woods once she’d grown out of it. It was a cruel trick by a broken mind.
Sometimes when she looked at herself in those crystal clear puddles of water she saw her mother’s face. Her own face would twist and distort into anger and she’d scream, launching attacks at it with all of the ferocity she could manage because she blamed that woman for what she’d become. She didn’t know how, but it was her fault somehow. It had to be…after all, Azula was meant to be perfect. She was born lucky. If her mind was fractured now, and she was a dirty mess, wearing rags and living in the woods, it couldn’t be of her own doing.
Honestly, she might have been a little relieved when she was found by the Earth Kingdom army, had she been in a clearer state of mind. She’d been surprised that she’d wandered so far away from the Fire Nation to have ended up in Earth Kingdom territory. It made more sense when she’d been tied up on the back of one of their mules, and heard them talking about how Princess Azula of the Fire Nation had been wanted for six years. It was amazing to hear someone call her Princess again, even indirectly, but six years?
That felt wrong in both directions, Azula was sure that the war had ended more recently, maybe two or three years ago but not six. She couldn’t be twenty already could she? And yet six years also felt far too short, surely she’d been in those woods, wandering the outskirts of nations for decades, and now she was a hag, ragged in body and mind. She was silent as these goons took her wherever they were going to take her but only because her restraints didn’t allow her to bend.
“Unhand me you Earth Kingdom creatins! I demand an audience with the Fire Lord, if such a position still exists. And moreover, where are my accoutrement? Where are my hand-woven items of dress, and where are my attendants to prepare me for such an audience?” she barked as the soldiers manhandled her, removing her from the back of the animal and leaving her at the feet of who she assumed was the new ruler of the Earth Kingdom.
“Oh my,” the man said, seemingly shocked at her appearance, though she couldn’t read whether it was because she was there, alive, or because she looked so awful. It didn't matter what he thought, however, what mattered was how she’d get out of this, and return to her peaceful life of instability in the mind in the woods. “The council of the Four Nations will need to convene immediatly,” he noted, gesturing to one of his servants to prepare the message. Azula grimaced.
“You will not treat me this way, Earth Kingdom scum, don’t you know who I am?” she questioned aggressively. “I am Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, conqueror of Ba Sing Se, namesake of Fire Lord Azulon, and I will destroy you,” she said, a dangerous glare in her eye. If only she could get out of these restraints and she’d show them all that despite the passage of time she had not weakened, she was just as much of a threat. Then this so-called king would know better than to speak down to her. Rather than fear however, the man simply let out a laugh.
“I’m well of who you are, Azula. And you’ll be dealt with accordingly.” he said, not even bothering with her honorific. He turned to another one of his servants. “Guards, take the prisoner to her cell until the rest of the council arrives,” he ordered and she was unceremoniously dragged out, like she was nothing more than some common prisoner. She bared her teeth at all who dared to make eye contact, remembering her past successes and feats as she was held captive. It was only when she was alone that her guard came down.
The truth was Azula knew well there would be no escape for her, and that believing otherwise was theater at best. No, those soulless leaches from the Four Nations Council…wait, the Four Nations Council? It dawned on Azula that the name implied there would have to be some representative of the Air Nomads there, which meant that the Avatar would be at her trail. Oh wouldn’t that be rich, just as he’d taken everything else from her the Avatar could watch her final demise.
She imagined that the hypocritical self proclaimed pacifist would gleefully sentence her to death, which was what she assumed he’d done with her father. Her brother had turned traitor, and she wondered idly if it was to save his own skin while the rest of the nation roasted. Whatever the reason, she could imagine him gleefully nodding along with her sentencing, happy to finally be rid of her. Azula was all alone here, like she had been for the past six years and all she could do was wait for it to all be over, and hope she’d die with dignity.
“Letter for you Avatar Aang,” a messenger had announced as he entered into the town square, where Aang and the rest of his crew had been negotiating something or other between bickering nobles. That was the majority of his job these days and Aang didn’t mind it at all. Taking down the Fire Nation had been the most stressful, confusing, terrifying thing in his life. He was more than content to spend the rest of his days cleaning pollution, and spreading peace and diplomatic influence now that his days of dealing with that were done.
“What does it say?” Toph had asked him, as Katara and Sokka had huddled close to see what had been written on the letter. Aang felt his body tense and his fists clench as he read the letter and then read it over again. He’d thought his time dealing with big diplomatic events involving the Fire Nation had mostly ended with Zuko’s ascension, but it seemed things could never be quite that simple. Even more than half a decade after the end of the war he was still here tying up loose ends.
“It’s Princess Azula, they’ve found her,” he explained to his friends and a shocked gasp escaped all of them. “They’re holding a meeting to discuss her fate, and as both the Avatar and last remaining Air Nomad I need to be there…they’re discussing life imprisonment as a punishment,” he said as he and the group quickly mounted Appa for the journey to the meeting place of the Four Nations Council.
“I don’t get what the big deal is, if they’re going to sentence her to jail anyway why bother going?” Sokka asked and Aang looked at him surprised and offended.
“They can’t sentence her without a trial! It’s immoral,” Aang urged and the rest of the group looked unimpressed. He rephrased his statement. “Listen, I know Azula is awful and has done awful things,” he started.
“She killed you,” Katara reminded him and he winced at the memory.
“Exactly,” Aang said. “But she deserves due process just like anybody else.” he said and that was the end of the conversation for the rest of the ride. When Aang did arrive he was greeted by the representatives of the Four Nations already present, save for one. “Where’s Zuko?” Aang questioned and Arnook explained.
“The Earth King, Hakoda, and I have asked Zuko to sit out this meeting and send a liaison in his stead,” he explained. “Considering his…proximity to the case, we felt it best to avoid conflicts of interest,” he said Aang nodded, understanding what was meant even if he did wish Zuko could be here. He wondered idly if Zuko wished the same.
“Alright, in that case may we begin?” Aang asked as the liaison from the Fire Nation arrived and the men looked from one and other before one of them spoke.
“This meeting really is just a formality,” the Earth King said. “The Fire Nation has agreed to withhold its vote, and the rest of us think that the answer is obvious in terms of what punishment befits the crime,” he said and Aang looked disappointed but not at all surprised by what he heard. “For her numerous crimes we feel it best that the former Princess is imprisoned for like, much like the former Fire Lord,” he explained and Aang shook his head.
“I will oppose you if you choose to go forward with that course of action,” he said and when the confused looks arose on their faces Aang gave an explanation. “Azula can not be reasonably expected to be sentenced in these conditions. When we last saw her six years ago she was not in her right mind and I highly doubt that has changed. Moreover, unlike Ozai she was a child when she committed the crimes she did. She still must take responsibility, but we cannot act like factors other than malice did not come into play,” he said. Hadoka shook his head.
“Aang, Azula may have been young but countless were displaced, injured, even killed due to her actions. Her crimes over the course of war lead to numerous avoidable horrors. You mean to suggest that there is anything fit for her besides prison?” he questioned and Aang insisted.
“I do, actually. I believe we should give her a choice of punishment. Option one you may get what you want, imprison her for life without considering the root causes of why she is the way she is. Option two she may be placed in the indefinite care of a mental facility, to hopefully spur meaningful growth in her mental state. Or…” Aang trailed off as he considered introducing a third option, one he’d been considering during his entire trip over on Appa.
“Or?” the Earth King spurred him on further. Aang took a deep breath as he prepared to make a huge gamble.
“Or I could take her into my care. With personal attention and a controlled degree of freedom, perhaps she might show results.” he said and everyone, including the Fire Nation liaison seemed to balk at the idea. For the first time, the man spoke.
“I was instructed by Fire Lord Zuko to stay silent, no matter the decision that was reached by the council but…will all do respect Avatar Aang, do you truly believe that this is something that’s even possible? Everyone in the Fire Nation has known Azula was…different, since she was very young. How do you hope to change her?” he questioned and Aang shook his head.
“I don’t hope to change her,” he said and when they looked shocked he continued. “I hope to give her the chance to change herself, without judgment when she’s not instantly perfect at it. I hope to give her the tools to become a better version of herself.” he explained. The council still looked unconvinced so he added something. “If within a year she has not made progress there can be a retrial…and I will relinquish my vote,” he explained and finally the council relented, allowing him to go speak with her and give her options.
“Ha. Haha,” Azula said when she saw him enter. She lay on the floor and yet she saw the tell-tale signs of the Avatar. His stupid brown shoes and the stupid way he made his stupidly light foot-steps. She bet he was here to gleefully inform her of her own execution, and to excitedly tell her how she was going to be removed from the face of the earth, just like her former kingdom and like her father. “If it isn’t the Avatar in all of his glory?” she said sarcastically as she pulled herself off of the ground.
“Azula, I’m here to talk to you,” Aang said before sitting on the ground in front of her cage, legs crossed as he stared at her. She glared at him with fury for his position. He was taunting her, she was the one in the cage, the one who was Princess of nothing and yet he lowered himself beneath her, reminding her of the power she once held and never would again. If she could bend she’d burn him, shoot him with lightning, kill the Avatar again and give the world a nice final memory of her before her death. She banged on the bars of her cell.
“You pathetic hypocrite of a savior, tell me have you come to list my crimes before you execute me so you may have some closer? So you can believe you’re doing the right thing? Well I’ll give it to you right now: I have no regret for anything I did and I never will. There, now go and give the order so we can be done here,” she said, trying to project strength from behind the bars. She hoped the Avatar knew that if she had the chance she’d off him in a heartbeat. Despite this, he ignored her words.
“I’ve come to present you with options for what happens to you next,” he said and Azula scoffed at his words.
“What, do I get to choose my method of execution? Well in that case I’ve always been partial to being boiled in oil!” she said, once again slamming her fists against her cage, wishing that she could break through her restraints and attack. Aang shook his head, scooted closer to her like a fool with a death wish.
“You will not die. Execution has never and will never be on the table,” he said and her face burned with rage at his words in a way she couldn’t quantify. “You may be imprisoned for your crimes for life, if you wish. You may also agree to indefinite treatment at a mental health facility if you prefer…or, you may agree to come into my care, and over the course of a year I will do my best to help you.” he explained and Azula starred daggers at him, wishing she could set someone a blaze with just her mind.
“Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?” she asked aggressively. “What? Am I supposed to thank you for your kind and generous offer to be your prisoner? Thank you oh great and wonderful Avatar, I’ll gladly go doe eyed and empty headed so I can follow your every command!” she said sarcastically. Aang let out a deep sigh and stood.
“I know you don’t like me,” Aang said and Azula kicked at the bars while maintaining her posture, staring him deep in the eyes.
“If I could be free from the restraints I’d be staring at your charred body,” she said, though she didn’t feel as confident as she had with the Avatar on the floor. He’d grown quite a bit though that was to be expected after six years. He towered over her now, certainly over six feet when she was nowhere near that height. His power likely would have grown immensely in that time too, though it wasn’t like he needed it. Azula swallows.
“I want to help you, but I also want you to make a choice for yourself,” Aang explained. “Regardless of what I think and feel, there are a few facts about you Azula. That you’ve hurt people, myself included, and you don’t seem to show any remorse about it. But…you were missing for six years and not once during that time did you harm even a single person. Maybe you were just trying to keep your cover…or maybe it means you can change. I’d like to find out which it is, if you’ll let me,” he said and she looked at him, and then laughed.
“Here you are, the Avatar, oh most powerful being groveling to me, an outcast and criminal. I’ve had dreams like this before, though usually I’m still in charge of the Fire Nation and I get to take your life after,” she spat at him. “But. Okay Avatar, I’ll play your game and go with you.” she said with a smirk that indicated she had nothing but bad things planned. He surprised her then, by giving her a genuine smile. She was taken aback by it, but held back that surprise well, at least in her own mind.
Aang left quickly after the conversation to explain that Azula had chosen to go with him, and the council then began the new debate on where she should be kept during this time. Though it was once again argued that Zuko couldn’t be involved due to the conflict of interest Aang insisted he be present during this time. Mostly however, it was because he knew that Zuko desperately wanted to be involved, that he cared for his sister even if it sometimes appeared otherwise. He needed someone else like that on the council.
“Azula should be housed in the Fire Nation. It’s our home, and it’ll be a familiar environment for her,” Zuko had urged during the meeting. The Earth King had scoffed at his words and waved him away.
“It’s the same environment where she concocted her worst crimes, and allowing her to return there is practically asking her to begin a coo or rebellion. She ought to be housed in the Earth Kingdom where I can keep an eye on her,” he explained smugly and Zuko slammed his fist on the table.
“Are you crazy! In the Earth Kingdom she’ll be subject to assassination, and I will not have her housed somewhere so dangerous,” he explained and the Earth King rolled his eyes in a way that indicated he didn’t care. As the debate raged on, Aang took group attention and announced what his plan was.
“Zuko, housing Azula in the Fire Nation, is far too likely to allow her to slip back into old patterns, and the Earth Kingdom is much too dangerous for her right now. I propose that we could set up shop in the Western Air Temple. It’ll be a safe place far from other people who may seek to hurt her, and far from anything that might remind her too much of her old patterns. It also has deep spiritual connections that might help her to heal faster,” he offered and the rest of the nations agreed to this.
And so Azula was packed up, and prepared to go with the Avatar. And by that she of course meant that she was kicked out of the jail with only the clothes on her back, still in restraints and still without so much as a bath. She felt disgusting, and angry but she could at least find comfort in the fact that this was all a part of her plan. Once she and the Avatar were alone in a secluded temple she could pretend to be trustworthy and finally rid herself of him, before disappearing once again.
Of course, she still had to endure a ride on the furry creature that the Avatar used for transport, who seemed just as off-put by her as she was by it. Azula had hoped, in vain it seemed, that the ride would be one of silence where the two could silently scheme, the Avatar on how to fix her and Azula on how to kill him. This was not the case however, as the Avatar may have grown in size and strength but he was the same with it came to his insatiable need to make pointless conversation.
“You know this will actually be one of the shorter rides I’ve taken on Appa! The night you and your friends were chasing us, Appa must have flown over a hundred miles with barely any sleep! Oh and don’t get me started on the time we had to ride Appa bareback, it was a nightmare,” he said with a chuckle. “So all things considered this actually should be quite a nice ride.” he said and Azula wondered if she could subtly fall off of the side of this creature into the water below.
“Those girls aren’t my friends.” Azula said stubbornly, and Aang looked at her surprised. “They betrayed me, just like my good for nothing brother Zuko,” she said and Aang looked at her softly.
“You know…Zuko loves you a whole lot,” he said and she scoffed at his words.
“Zuko is a traitor who gave up on his nation, his people, and his family and for what? To sit around and play kumbaya with the Avatar so he could take power once the war was over,” she explained and Aang shook her head.
“Zuko joined us because he wanted to…he wasn’t happy at home.” he said and Azula felt angry now at the defense of her brother’s choice due to his own personal feeling of happiness or lack thereof.
“And that’s an excuse? We all suffered for what we believed in, and he chose to leave us because he was unhappy? He was weak, just like our mother,” she said angrily and Aang was silent for a moment before he said something else.
“You know Azula…being unhappy doesn’t make you any stronger or more loyal…I think it just makes you unhappy,” he explained and before she could berate him for his words they’d arrived at their destination, a temple that had belonged to their Air Nomads. It seemed in better conditions than the ones she’d been told of when she was young at least, and it seemed to have been fixed up recently. She wondered if the Avatar had done it for her and laughed internally at the idea. “So this is it!” Aang announced, giving her a smile, arms wide.
“It looks like a wreck,” Azula lied through her teeth. She didn’t want the Avatar to get any ideas about her liking it here in any way shape or form. Until she got her restraints off she was the Avatar’s prisoner and she refused to let him pretend that they were anything else. The Avatar’s face fell a bit, but he walked closer to her again. Like a complete idiot, and carefully bent the solid stone cuffs off her hands. He…removed her restraints. Her hands were free she realized and she immediately wanted to attack. And yet… “Why would you remove my restraints?”
“They looked like they hurt you, and besides you’re not a prisoner here. If I kept them on you, you might feel like one.” he explained and Azula launched into her attack, fire bending at him forcing the Avatar into a series of short, quick, dodges. Then, without warning, he bent the air around her, sucking the oxygen from near her fists and making her unable to fire bend as long as the field was around her fists.
“So much for not being a prisoner right Avatar?” she asked, laughing maniacally at getting him to break principal. He shook his head and gave her an explanation.
“I’m going to drop this in a minute, but I want to remind you that I am the Avatar. A fight with me will always end like this Azula,” he said as the feeling of not being able to bend, even temporarily set it. Bending was a part of her, a part of who she was and the Avatar was easily able to put a halt to it like it was nothing to him. He was powerful in a sort of way Azula had never experienced and she looked into his gray eyes, studied his face like her life depended on it.
“Okay.” she said and with that Aang dropped her oxygen restricting restraints and her hands were free once again. She looked at them hard now, and breathed a sigh somewhere between hatred and relief. “Well, do I have quarters in this dump or am I expected to sleep on the ground,” she questioned as the two walked around the temple, Aang giving a tour.
“This will be your room,” he explained, as he opened the door. Azula was more conflicted than she’d even been in her life. The place was a dinky little thing, nothing but a small bed, a writing desk, a closet and a window. Her room in the Fire Nation palace had been fit for a Princess and now she’d live like a commoner…and yet, her last six years had been sleeping in the woods and in caves, in comparison this was like heaven. “I hope you don’t mind that I bought some clothes for you,” he explained and Azula looked in the closet. It was filled with Fire Nation attire.
“Tell me Avatar, is this supposed to make me like you? What, do you want me to thank you for having the generosity to give me this room and these commoner clothes?” She asked and Aang shook his head. She felt angry at the Avatar now, for being taller than her so she had to look up at him. How dare he grow into a man, and how dare she be forced to speak to him that one. She refused to, and refused to do anything to make him feel as though she would. “I suppose your room in this place is fit for a king!”
“First of all, I don’t expect anything from you Azula, not even kindness. I just…want you to be comfortable. Secondly,” he said, walking to the room right next to hers and opening the door. “This is my room. As you can see it has everything that your room does, nothing more and nothing less. We will live like equals together because that’s what I want us to be, Azula, equals.” he explained and she glared at him for telling these awful lies to her. She knew what the Avatar was really, she could see right through him.
“Where is the bathroom?” she demanded and he showed her before leaving her to her own devices, so she took a bath, a long intense bath, and then she put on the stupid Fire Nation commoner clothes that the Avatar had brought for her. Once she was done she went to the kitchen where she saw Aang and banged her hands on the table. “Well Avatar, you’ve dressed me like a Fire Nation commoner, do you intend to feed me like one as well?” she asked and Aang presented her with a bowl of something foul smelling. “What is this?” she demanded to know.
“It’s stewed sea prunes,” he explained and after another long glare from her he explained further. “They’re a traditional dish from the Southern Water Tribe,” he started. “My friends showed me how to make this dish years ago,” he said and she continued to look at him expectantly. “It’s a bit of an acquired taste but you grow to like it,” he said and Azula glowered disgustedly into the bowl.
“You expect me to eat this sickening cuisine?” she asked and Aang nodded.
“Azula…you’re incredibly underweight. Stewed sea prunes are a hearty dish that should help you gain,” he explained and she had half a mind to slap him for pretending to care about her well-being. Instead, her stomach growled and she choked down the meal wishing instead she was back at the prison eating gruel. “We’ll start meditating together after dinner tomorrow, but for tonight, I thought you’d maybe want some time to get used to the place,” he explained. Azula got up from the table and walked away.
This was unfair, more than anything it was unfair that she was stuck here with the Avatar of all people and she couldn’t make a move to kill him. She was stuck in this awful place eating awful food and she wanted to set it all ablaze, burn it to the ground. She was truly alone in the world again, and she didn’t revel in it like she used to. Why did the Avatar insist on pretending that he cared when she knew above all else that it wasn’t true? And why did she almost want to believe him? She stood at the front of the temple bending until nightfall, until an idea crossed her head.
“Do you know how cruel you are Avatar?” Aang heard Azula say as he approached her from behind. It was late now, pitch dark and he’d only wanted to encourage her to get some rest for the morning. And yet instead he found her in the front of the temple, where she’d been bending since after dinner. In front of her was the writing desk and a few other things which she’d dragged out of her room by the looks of it. “I failed my nation. I am Princess of nothing, and yet instead of letting me accept my failure and die with dignity you’ve brought me here.” she said.
“Azula…” Aang started before she turned around to him quickly, setting the writing desk and the pile of Air Nomad items on fire just to have them burn behind her as she spoke.
“So I can relive my failure over and over? So I can live in the place where your people died because of your failure? Is that it?” she asked and Aang walked closer to her, and to the burning desk. “Why Avatar? Why did you save me?” she asked and Aang offered her a cautious hand.
“I saved you because there is good in you Azula. I saved you because you’re worth saving,” he offered and she shook her head, seeming to reject his offer.
“I am Princess of nothing,” she said and Aang gave her a small smile.
“You don’t have to be Princess of anything! You can just…be,” he said and finally, she took his hand and went to her room to sleep. Aang looked sadly at the writing desk, an antique from his past burning as he put out the flames and looked at the charred remains of his culture. It was destroyed because he’d given Azula trust, and it’d be easy to take that trust back, to stop her from bending again. Instead, as she slept peacefully he gently floated the writing desk from his room into her’s, before going to bed himself.