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Eda Clawthorne never expected certain things in her life to happen. Being a mom is certainly at the top. She always considered herself particularly reckless. Being a mom means being patient. It means making dumb lunches and — ugh being empathetic and caring.
She never desired it. Not really. Her own mother-daughter relationship was far too uncomfortable and awkward. She never expected to feel those maternal instincts older women always told her she would. Being maternal and gentle is strange. Because it means she cares about other people more than she cares about herself.
And frankly, that never sounded desirable or enjoyable.
Well that is until she met an undeniably adorable demon. She then realized she cared for the little guy more than she ever cared for herself and that was a harsh awakening. She had someone of her own to take care of; to nurture. It was an odd feeling.
And yet, Eda never felt maternal. At least in the traditional sense. King is a demon, a peculiar one at that, and doesn’t need the typical care of a witchling. By the time he was a little tot, the demon could talk and make up fantasies of war and tyranny.
She was comfortable with that for a while.
Then came a chipper fourteen year old human with a burning passion for magic. And oh — Eda felt it.
The more time she spent around the kid, the more she looked after her, she understood. The warmth, the desire to do everything just right. She found herself making halfway decent lunches and looking forward to post-school conversations. All the mundane chores and work life became happy simplicities.
And even if she wholeheartedly denied it to anyone who pointed it out with a teasing smirk, Edalyn Clawthorne became a mama. A funny little demon and a quirky human’s mama.
As a mom, Eda quickly took it upon herself to learn the behavior of her child. She notices the way Luz curls her fingertips when she’s anxious or how she always hugs extra longer when she has a nightmare the night before.
So when her kid comes from a busy day at Hexside and immediately heads up to her bedroom, Eda is worried.
Their strange custody/living situation means Luz attends Hexside during the day and goes back to the human realm at night and for the weekends or when Camila isn’t working. Which means the human and her ex-mentor-turned-parent try to soak up as much time as possible together.
Plus, they rather need their time together. The Day of Unity brought a panic of losing their Owl Family that had thoroughly frightened them. Now they were less hesitant to be openly clingy and needy for each other’s presence.
The time that Luz and her friends spent trapped in the human realm also triggered a deep set protection. While it was always there, hell Eda almost became the owl beast forever to save her, the thought of really losing her child permanently was a heartbreak she never thought she’d feel.
Eda quietly calls after Luz. The girl responds with nothing. Eda had once been a teenager too. She knew how these things went. Maybe the kid just had a bad day and needs space. Eda could give that.
She sits on the couch, a book about banned potions sitting in her lap, and numbly thumbs through the pages. King likes his head out of the kitchen.
“Where is Luz?” He questions.
“Oh, kid went upstairs,” Eda shrugs. Her nonchalant facade wavers.
“Huh? But we always make snacks after she gets home from school,” the little Titan practically whines. He jumps onto the couch beside Eda. “Is she okay? Remember Amity said Luz always hides her-“
“I’m not sure, King. But she probably just wants space right now,” Eda sighs. She scratches his skull affectionately. “It’s nice that you care about her.”
“Well I'm going to check on her!” king announces. He takes off towards the room before Eda has a chance to say otherwise. She rolls his eyes and leans back against the couch. A tiny smile itches into her face. Luz and King are quite the dynamic sibling duo.
It takes all of a handful of minutes when King comes back downstairs grumbling. Eda lifts an eyebrow and uses her hand to shut the book. “I assume that she didn’t want to see you?”
“She said ‘go away’ and ‘not right now king’. She’s being grumpy,” King tells Eda. The witch nods sympathetically. He huffs. “Hooty said he overheard Luz calling Amity and saying even she can’t talk to her. Go fix it!”
“Who says she wants me in there?” Eda questions. King shrugs.
“Fix sad Luz! I want my snack buddy!” He whines.
The former wild witch hums in thought. Her worry really is getting hard to ignore, especially if Luz’s favorite witch in the realm isn’t even allowed to see her. It’s a classic Luz move to block out people from talking to her when she’s upset. It’s a habit Eda is too familiar with.
Her surrogate daughter is much too like her sometimes.
“Alright hold your griffins, I’m going.” Eda waves King off and stands to make her way upstairs. She pauses by the couch in which her old grudgby jacket that’s become one of Luz’s favorite clothing items is tossed over the chair. She gathers it in her arm and takes it upstairs.
Her heart warms remembering how Camila told her Luz never took it off in the human realm. Special kid, indeed.
Eda knocks lightly on Luz’s door. She waits patiently, withholding herself from storming in at Luz’s rough attempts to hide her sniffles.
“Later, King,” Luz calls out weakly.
“Hey, Kid. It’s Eda,” the witch bites her lip, “I know you don’t want people around you right now, but I need to know you’re okay. So can you..can you open the door? So I can see if you’re okay.”
She’s met with silence and some quiet shuffling. After a minute or two, the door unlocks and a tear stained Luz stands on the other side. She crosses her arms and looks down.
“Hey,” Eda says gently, “you mind if I come in?”
Luz shrugs and steps aside without complaint. Eda takes it as a small victory. She shuts the door behind them both. The teenager sits down on her bed, a real bed that Raine had made her buy so she could make a better impression on Camila.
Eda sits beside Luz and hands her the jacket. The Latina takes it with a small smile and tugs her arms into it.
“Bad day at school?” Eda asks softly. She nudges the kid.
The question makes Luz stiffen. She turns her head away. “I’m fine.”
“Luz, you know I love you and you know I won't stop pestering you because you say you’re fine. Which is a lie, by the way. Are you going to tell me what’s really wrong?”
Luz tugs her knees to her chest and sighs. There’s so much she wants to tell people. So many feelings and uncomfortable thoughts jammed up in her brain that she feels like she’s suffocating sometimes.
“You don’t have to worry about me,” Luz replies instead. It’s a half-hearted attempt to hide her thoughts.
“Well that’s dumb,” Eda rolls her eyes. She pokes her kid’s side to elicit the tiniest smile from her. “I’m going to worry about you whether you want me to or not.”
“Well I think that’s dumb.”
“Too bad, kiddo. Did something happen at school?”
“Um,” the fifteen year old lifts her head a little, “I guess? I–I don’t know.”
Eda lovingly brushes her fingers through Luz’s curls that are now long enough to be pulled into a decently long ponytail. She nods, prodding the girl to go on.
Luz sighs. “I was in Magic theory with Amity. People started talking about Phillip and how he was..how he was— human. And the whole day of everything. Everyone kept looking at me. And I know they don’t know how I helped him but I just couldn’t handle it. I tried to move past it, but they kept asking me questions. They didn’t mean anything bad but I don’t like talking or thinking about him. He was a bad person..and I..and I’m..” Luz’s voice cracks.
Eda frowns as the teenager goes on. No matter how many times anyone told her it wasn’t her fault, not in the slightest, Luz could never forgive herself. Her kind little heart just latched into guilt so easily. Her nightmares, constant fear of ever hurting anyone, runs rampant.
“Hun, I’m going to have to hex you into believing that what happened was never your fault. Everyone was tricked.”
“But I helped him. I can’t take that back. He hurt everyone, and you,” Luz gazes at Eda and where her arm once was. She wraps her arms around herself a little tighter.
“We’re not playing the blame game. Nuh-uh! Belos was an awful person. You, kid, can never be. Your heart's too big. I wish I could protect it more. And I don’t care how many times I have to say it, but you are not a bad person. You are so good. The best,” the witch gently cups Luz’s cheek. She shudders in her hold. Like her words are too painful to digest.
Luz shakes her head. She’s crying now. She tried her best to wipe at the rapid increase of tears rolling down her face.
“Come on, kiddo. What else is there? Why can’t you see yourself the way everyone else does?” Eda asks softly. She reaches out to firmly squeeze Luz’s shoulder, but the kid flinches and turns away. She tenses and looks at her hands as she begins to speak.
“I hate myself,” she draws out slowly, bitterly. The admission burns in the back of her throat. It’s selfish to be so honest about personal matters. She feels her chest tighten because she shouldn’t bother Eda with this stuff and—Eda is hugging her.
Eda is hugging her and telling her she’s going to be okay.
She slumps into the older witch’s hold and releases the broken cry she’s been holding in. She tightens her arms around Eda’s torso.
“I think you’re pretty amazing. You’re kind, and generous. You protect everyone you care about and you love so much. I get it, kiddo. Appreciating yourself isn’t an easy thing to do. I know how it feels to hate yourself and I know it’s unfair.”
Luz sniffles, nodding silently.
“You’ve done so much good. And even if I have to permanently write it in your brain for you to believe it, you will one day. you’re my favorite witch ever.”
“Over Raine?” Luz asks.
Eda snorts. “Please, they kick me in their sleep and never let me sleep in long enough.” She smiles down at her kid when she pulls away. “I remember being fifteen. It’s not an easy age, no matter what adults tell you. Take it easy on yourself, Luz. You keep growing and fighting and learning. I’m proud of you all the time. So are your Mamá and your friends.”
“I’m sorry for crying on you.“
“Eh. Don’t apologize.”
“I’m bad at doing that,” Luz says sheepishly. She rubs her jacket covered arm. Ed laughs a little.
“Did I ever tell you how cool you look in that?”
Luz blushes a little. She smiles beneath her shaky voice. She shakes her head. Eda ruffles her hair. “Well you do. It..makes me proud to see you wearing it. Makes me think I haven’t done half bad with my life.”
Luz brightens a little. She launches herself back into Eda, causing them both to laugh. “But don’t tell anyone that. It’ll ruin my street cred.”
“I won’t,” Luz promises. She wipes at her nose. “I should tell King I’m sorry for not letting him in earlier. Oh and Amity.”
“Nah, they’re not gonna hold it against you. Sometimes you just need certain people at certain times.”
The girl nods thoughtfully. “I think I’ll always need you.”
“Dido, kid.”
“I love you, Eda.”
“Are you making me say some sappy stuff?” Eda tilts her head with a teasing smirk. She rolls her eyes when Luz playfully shoves her shoulder. “I love you too.”
Luz smiles. She leans against the witch. “You’re a good person too,” she adds with a yawn.
And if Eda turns beet red and beams at her kid’s sleepy sentence, no one has to know.