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They had class the next morning. By the time Bob had his flight suit on Phoenix was attempting to break down the door.
“Bob we’re going to be late!”
He ran, grabbed his boots, shoved them on, and emerged from his room feeling the slightest bit frazzled.
He wanted to go back to bed. Sleeping was Bob’s best remedy for things. Shutting the world out was easy. After last night all he really wanted to do was sleep. They crossed the base quickly and made it up to the instruction room with a minute to spare.
Hangman was already there when they arrived. Of course he was, the guy wasn’t late for anything. He looked like he had yesterday and the week before, self-assured. He was leaning back in his chair, chatting idly with Coyote while twirling a pen through his fingers.
Bob tried his best not audibly swallow. He’d never been good at situations like this. It was the kind of complication that Bob didn’t know how to deal with. Hangman caught Bob’s eye as he entered and gave him a grin. Bob tried to tamp down the warm feeling in his stomach.
Bob settled in his normal seat on the opposite side of Phoenix. She nudged him ever so slightly.
“What was that about?” she sounded genuinely concerned.
Bob, not wanting to piss off Maverick, muttered something about telling her about it later and got out his notebook.
Should he tell her? Probably. They were friends. Proper friends. Bob only had so many proper friends. Phoenix was good in the way some military personnel weren’t. She was kind and, despite having seen conflict, still an honest person. She had confidence but not the overpowering sort. Standing next to Phoenix felt like standing in full dress uniform. She made Bob feel official, put together, and like what he said mattered.
So after class he did tell her. It was right before a hop, they were doing their pre-flight check. Well, Phoenix was doing her pre-flight check and Bob was attempting to look useful.
Phoenix was crouched beneath the nose of the plane looking at the landing gear. Part of Bob was glad he didn’t have responsibilities for the outer pre-flight systems. He still glanced over weaponry just for his peace of mind but compared to Phoenix’s job that was nothing.
“Hangman told me loved me last night.”
Phoenix stood up so fast she hit her head on the nose of the jet.
“He what?!”
She was looking at Bob full on, incredulous. Bob duly wondered if this was a good idea.
“He said-,” Bob started to explain.
“No, I heard you, I just-. How did the topic even come up?”
Bob glanced over at Hangman. He was doing the same pre-flight checks as everyone else. He ran a hand down the side of the aircraft, admiring it. Bob suppressed a shiver.
“Bob?” Phoenix asked, steering his attention back.
“We were talking about sand dunes then he just… blurted it out.”
Bob could feel his cheeks going red. God, he hated this. He hated everything about this. Bob wasn’t the relationship type. He also wasn’t the one night stand type. He liked dates. He liked learning more about people and finding shared interests. He’d never done a proper relationship before. He’d had a girlfriend in high school, one at the academy too but they weren’t serious. They weren’t ‘I love you’ level. They were ‘we’re young and bored and this seems fun’ level.
The fact that Hangman hadn’t meant it made it worse. This burning in his cheeks and flipping in his stomach was all for something that wasn’t real. The artifice of it made him sick to his stomach.
Phoenix was quiet as she continued her pre-flight check. Bob could practically hear her thinking.
“He didn’t mean it,” Bob tried to say it like it didn’t matter but his throat was drier than he thought and it came out scratchy. “He was drunk, wanted someone to sleep with is all.”
Phoenix stopped running her hand along the wing suddenly.
“ Did you sleep with him?”
Jesus Christ, she was direct. Bob took a moment to splutter indignantly.
“No! No ‘course not. He was drunker than me and I didn’t believe him and it just…” Bob trailed off, trying to think.
“It just what?”
“If I sleep with someone I want it to matter. I didn’t want for us to wake up and both realize we’d made a mistake. God, Phoenix, he told me he loved me, what kind of play is that? He didn’t even ask me to come over first he just said it.”
Phoenix turned slowly, she was making her thinking face. The one she used in class.
“In my experience, when Jake is trying to get someone to sleep with him, he’s doesn’t tell them he loves them. I don’t even think he tells his mother that he loves her. He’s just not that kind of person. I don’t want to meddle but I think he might have been being honest.”
For the second time in 24 hours Lt. Robert Floyd felt like he’d been punched. The truth was, Phoenix had known Hangman for years, she was in a position to know. She’d seen his attempts at bars up close and personal, she might have even been one of those attempts at one point. The truth was, as with most things, Phoenix knew what she was talking about.
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“No I mean if he was being serious, I’m so fucked.” Bob wiped a hand down his face, trying to console the part of him that felt like breaking off and shattering on the ground.
“Oh Christ Bob, what’d you say?”
“I told him it wasn’t something to joke about.”
“You’re lucky there’s no test for interpersonal skills to get into the Navy holy shit,” Phoenix was clearly trying not to snicker. He appreciated her attempt to not show her laughter by turning back to the plane.
“Alright, Aviators!” Maverick shouted from somewhere. The hop was beginning.
Bob dawdled in the locker room after. He took his time showering and changing. Once he was in fresh clothes he went and found Hangman who was in the middle of lacing up his boots.
“Wanna sit down?” Hangman asked, nodding to the bench across from him.
Bob answered by sitting. He was fiddling with his hands, unable to keep still and unsure what to say.
“We should talk about last night.”
Hangman froze, his fingers halfway through tying on his shoes, he kept his eyes on them as he sighed and spoke.
“Look Bob,” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for that, it wasn’t how it should have happened I was just-.”
“Drunk?” Bob helpfully supplied.
Hangman glanced at him and laughed quietly.
“That too I guess. No, I was just… god, this is harder sober.”
Bob shrunk away. He knew what that meant. He was used to rejection.
“It’s alright, I understand. We can let this one lie.”
He made a move to get up. To go. He’d rather be anywhere but here. He’d rather be in the process of being flattened by one of the F18s than be here.
Hangman, Jake , spoke just as he reached for the door.
“I meant it you know,” his voice was resigned, tone serious. “I said it when I was piss-faced but I meant it.”
Bob tried to keep his heart from exploding. He wanted to be careful though, very careful. He turned and spoke.
“You don’t have to say that to make me feel-.”
“I’m not saying it to make you feel better.” Hangman was looking him in the eyes. There was no joke there. “I really fucking mean it. Sometimes it scares me how much I mean it.”
Bob couldn’t breathe. It was like last night all over again except this time there was no sudden realization. It was just acceptance that struck him. And strike him it did. Someone loved him.
“Oh.”
Hangman looked worried now, like he’d put his neck on the line which, in a way he had. He was clearly trying to gage Bob’s response. He was also clearly not coming up with much.
“If you don’t feel-.”
“I do,” was all Bob could really manage.
“Oh,” Then Hangman grinned and it wasn’t his gloating grin. It was genuine. A smile bright enough to power at least a squadron of F18s.
“Phoenix will be waiting…” Bob trailed off, not sure how to proceed, not sure that any of this was entirely real.
“Of course she will. Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later.”
Bob headed for the door.
“Wait!” Bob turned again, still trying to control his facial expressions.
“Yeah?”
For the second time in the past five minutes Hangman looked unsure, almost nervous.
“The others are going bowling tonight, wanna get something to eat beforehand?”
Bob, forever a picky eater, prayed that Hangman didn’t have any wild restaurants in mind.
“Where?”
Hangman grinned that grin again. Bob nearly went weak in the knees.
“There’s this good Mexican place downtown, Casa Verde I think it’s called?”
Bob fucking loved that restaurant.