Chapter Text
cartman: nor/mal cishet, 16
•he's actually a bit of a fag but doesnt realize it because he's homophobic (everyone but him knows)
•greasy
•smelly
•refers to his friends as 'the boys'. they hate it.
•still wears "eat sleep fortnite" shirts
•the guys beat him up one too many times so hes less (openly) racist n homophobic n shit
•still very misogynistic though, they cant seem to stop that.
•has a diary. he starts every entry with "dear diary".
•uses photomath
•overgrown ipad kid
•reddit humor
"oh, you have blue hair and pronouns🤢"
Stan: he/they nb bi, 17
•hates doing dishes. with a passion. will do anything to avoid doing more dishes than necessary, including eating straight out
of the pot and drinking milk straight from the carton.
•doesnt use snapchat. he thinks its stupid
•started smoking weed
•fake jordans from goodwill
•does puzzles when they're bored
•football team
•vegetarian
•drives everyone everywhere
•loses everything constantly
•parents r divorced. sharon lives in their old house
"guys wheres my phone guys"
Kyle: he/him trans bi, 16 3/4
•actually celebrates half birthdays
always has to add fractions to his age. ex: "im 14 and 4/5" bro nobody fucking cares
•always has to give stan and kenny homework answers, refuses to give them to cartman
•cheap amazon binder that bruises rlly badly if he wears it for too long. does it anyways. saving up for a better one
•constantly smells good. always.
•baggy sweaters with collared button downs under
•good at drawing
•doesnt really use social media that much.
•lots of freckles
•diabetes
•very short temper
•basketball player #slay
•panics if he or anybody is slightly sick. freaks out when google says its cancer
•scared of medical needles
•straight As. cries over a B-
•good at cooking
"im gonna close my eyes and pretend im in a reality where u didnt just say that"
Kenny: he/him pan 16
•dirty jokes like no tomorrow
•tall and lanky
•wolf cut type mullet thing idk but it suits him
•smokes with stan
•sometimes has to skip out on certain things because he either has to work or is doing something with his sister
•everyone knows he has a thing for butters except him and butters
•he has an iphone 5s that hasnt been updated in eons
•tooth gap
•rlly flirty with basically everyone
•mom jokes
•porn term encyclopedia
•he can sing really really well but he's super humble about it
•drives an old ford like the one from twilight
•paragraph texter
•has at least one "chick magnet" shirt and one "i ❤️ hot moms" shirt
•swag rock listener
"he's not getting any taller and he's not getting any bitches 💀"
Butters (leo) (marjorine): he/she bigender unlabeled 16
•a month older than kenny
•he calls him ken
•only close friends get to call her leo. kenny is basically the only one that does it tho because butters doesnt really have that many friends to begin with
•loves baking
•paints nails with kenny
•still pretty gullible
•starting to get into NFTs.
•grew her hair out a bit. its pretty and has nice layers
•cat person
•not super tall, but surprisingly tall for his personality
•still gets grounded a lot even though she can legally drive a car on roads
"if my parents found out u smoked weed they would ground me 😨"
Craig: he/him gay cis 16
•nasa enthusiast
•very un-empath
•bad at comforting ppl but he tries his best
everyone thinks hes rlly stoic and bland but when he's around his close friends hes really funny and they're like the only ones who see his genuine smile
•teen braces and he fucking HATES them
•half peruvian
•does not know how to smile for photos
•loves guinea pigs
•absolute science nerd
•rlly clingy to tweek
•bad habit of chewing his lip. its always chapped and scabbed
•cracks his knuckles so much his fingers are almost crooked
•dry texter
•his mom is actually his stepmom and tricia is his half sister
"im sorry ur mom died but look on the bright side at least she cant yell at you to put the toilet seat down anymore"
Tolkien: they/he nb straight 17
•mom friend
•designated driver
•good at comforting
•quick witted
•football team
•always finds themself having parties at his house when their parents are out of town, usually put together by clyde. he doesnt really mind though but they hate cleaning afterwards
•sings like an angel, sometimes comes into tweek bros on holidays or busy days to sing
usually where him and his friends hang out
•their mom has all these fancy types of coffee for when tweek comes over. tweek does not know they buy them exclusively for him
•logical but in a good way
•honestly rlly badass when he wants to be
"bro i TOLD you not to-........what is that"
Tweek: he/him gay cis 17
•rapidly catching up to Craig in height. might soon outgrow him
•terrified of space
•ADHD and anxiety
•drinks straight black coffee (with NO meth)
•plays piano
•can sing
•in every school play
•not a fan of chocolate
•nail biter
•lip chewer
•draws sometimes
•perfectionist
•listens to metal and heavy rock to fall asleep. claims its 'calming'
•good grades
•hes good at comforting but he can not give advice for shit
•really bad with deadlines
•really likes horror movies surprisingly
•smells like coffee. always
•cant tie shoes
•clumsy and uncoordinated
•really overprotective of craig
•will fight anybody and everybody who makes fun of him or his friends
•boxes with jimbo and ned every saturday from 6pm-9pm.
"CRAIG WHAT ARE U DOING 😨😨 i’m giving him hope🥺"
Clyde: he/him cishet with questionable queer-like antics 16
•he's straight. in a "kiss the homies goodnight" way. he has on multiple occasions kissed every single member of his friend group either on the mouth or on the cheek. they stopped caring.
•football team. dumb quarterback stereotype
•cocky
•5'8 and will not be getting taller
•i would like to say he has no bitches but he has bebe surprisingly
•cant spell
•he reads out loud like those 4th grade kids that everyone hated if they were called on for popcorn reading. "the...boy went. to. the. baseball game and...."
•showers twice a week MAYBE
•whenever he's sick he dramatically acts like he's dying the whole time
•fast food supremacist
•cries over cats
•cries over burnt food
•cries over sad movies
•cries over almost everything else
one of his friends: "he called my cock juicy and fat" clydes reply: "because it is"
Jimmy: he/him cishet 16
•the real chick magnet
•he's gotten even funnier
•uses messenger bag instead of a backpack
•a bit of facial hair
•beautiful pearly teeth
•grew his hair out a bit
•flirty
•him and clyde jokingly flirt with eachother. •why are they like this.
•sarcasm GOD
•kicks ass at mario kart
•once gave cartman a concussion by hitting him on the head with his crutch
•buff arms
•wears a lot of army green
•does stand up at tweek bros sometimes too
•hates coffee tbh
•tea on the other hand
"oh you said TOENAILS? 😟 yeah um.. i think my dog just texted me man i gotta go😁😁"
OTHER
wendyl/wendy is he/she/they gender fluid and stan's rlly close friend. they dont have feelings for eachother anymore and havent since 5th grade.
bebe and wendyl are besties
tweek hangs out with the goth kids sometimes
pip isnt dead, damien still goes to their school. they arent rlly focused on their relationship is more just. a thing that exists
they're all juniors
cartmans mom and clydes dad are a thing
tweek and bebe have a thing where they go on double dates with clyde and craig, and one day bebe made a joke that they could practically be blondie twins and since then they started hanging out more and more and now they have sleepovers and shit and do eachothers hair and gossip and bebe has totally rubbed off on tweek