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Joshua wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing that Neku had gotten much bolder about contacting him, nowadays. After returning from Shinjuku, Joshua knew that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from being around Neku — it hadn't exactly worked out well the last time he'd tried that — but he hadn't expected to be so… in demand.
It wasn't a stretch to say that Neku had missed him. Joshua may be a lot of things, not all of them good, but he wasn't an idiot. Within the first few days of Neku settling back into the RG, complete with a life that Joshua had pulled from a different universe just for him, he was already texting Joshua asking to meet up.
And saying no to Neku was a little bit harder than Joshua had anticipated.
He'd told himself, when he initially gave his number to Neku, that he would only answer in cases of emergencies. As much as Neku would like him to be, he wasn't close with the rest of his friends. Frankly, Joshua wasn't a particularly sociable person, and asking him to get buddy-buddy with the rest of Neku's friends was a daunting task. There was, of course, the hurdle of sorry I shot your friend a few times to get over. And once that was over and done with, there was the next one of sorry I stuck him in a dilapidated city for three years with no warning, it was for his own good. Oh, and finally, the sorry I run this kind of screwed-up Game for dead people that you both had to participate in once or twice.
Becoming their friends, with those things in mind, would be no easy task, and it wasn't the kind of effort Joshua was willing to put in, at the moment. Probably never, but if he said that out loud, he had a feeling Neku would give him the sad puppy dog look, and well. Joshua wasn't particularly good at saying no to him.
Which brought him to the current predicament: the text Joshua was currently staring at, with no idea how to answer. It hadn't even been five minutes since Neku had sent it, but his mind was already swimming with questions.
Namely, how did they get to this point? Joshua was racking his brain to figure it out. Had he said something that gave Neku the wrong impression about why he'd given out his number so freely? Or maybe it was Neku missing things, somehow, or even outright ignoring the clear boundary Joshua was trying to set.
It wasn't like he didn't want to be close with Neku. On the contrary, it was exactly what Joshua wanted, and something he thought about nearly all the time. It was honestly exhausting how badly he wanted to be around Neku. But boundaries, especially those between residents of the UG and the RG, no matter how well said resident of the RG could see the UG and be a part of it in his own way, were necessary. Even more so necessary for someone like Neku, who had such a shining and brilliant soul, and someone like Joshua. A Composer.
And yet, even as Joshua reminded himself of these extremely necessary boundaries, he continued to type out an agreement to meet Neku for dinner the following evening. Before he could even think about what he was doing, he was already hitting the send key, watching as the message appeared in its little bubble. He watched still as Neku reacted to it with one of those little stickers that were all the rage these days.
Neku's response came very quickly afterward. Joshua was a little surprised — he didn't think Neku was the type to be glued to his phone.
Meet me at Hachiko at 11 tomorrow, then. That was all the message read, and Joshua blinked at it again. What had he just agreed to?
Joshua closed his eyes, trying to settle his thoughts. It was only Neku wanting to hang out with him after a long separation, that was all. And that made sense. Being stranded in Shinjuku was a necessary but horrible precaution they had to take. Coming back to Shibuya only to be thrown head first into another Game — and have to be the mentor to a bunch of kids when he, himself, still wasn't sure what was going on — couldn't have been easy.
Of course, this was Neku. Joshua had picked him as his proxy for a reason. His success, while expected, was still extraordinary. When Joshua thought about it that way, he supposed his former proxy deserved a reward. One day hanging out with him shouldn't hurt.
Maybe, Joshua thought to himself, it might actually be easier to fade away from Neku's life if he had something like this as a parting gift. The only time they'd ever really been able to hang out one on one was during the second week of Neku's first Game. If he had some other memories, a memory that wasn't drenched in something horrible like fighting for his life, it might be easier for Joshua to create those stronger boundaries between them.
Yes, Joshua nodded. This was only a good thing. And if he completely ignored the way he felt about Neku, nothing bad would go wrong. It wasn't as if they were stepping outside of his jurisdiction, anyways. In Shibuya, he could make sure nothing went wrong.
Opening his eyes again gave him the view of the night sky of Shibuya, streetlights completely covering whatever stars might be sparkling in the sky above. Maybe this would be good for both of them.
Neku was early, was the first thing Joshua noticed when he teleported himself to Hachiko. The second thing Joshua noticed was that Neku looked nervous.
A sly smile made its way onto his lips. "Good morning, dear," Joshua greeted, coming to stand next to Neku rather than in front of him. "Did you sleep well?"
Neku bristled, a blush coming on his face. How cute. It was nice to see him reactive like this; sometimes, Joshua worried that the three years in Shinjuku had been more damaging than he could fix.
"No different than normal," Neku said, though something about his tone told Joshua he was definitely lying. Or at least, wasn't telling the full truth about what normal was. "How about you?"
The question surprised Joshua. He supposed he'd never told Neku, but… "I don't sleep," Joshua said, shrugging. "But my night was fine. How sweet of you to care, Neku." Something bubbled up in his chest, but he pushed it down dutifully. He wasn't there to entertain his own hapless fantasies. He was there to do a favor for a friend — one who most definitely deserved it.
Neku stared at him for a long moment, and Joshua stared back, unblinking. After a moment, Neku sighed, giving him a small smile. "Well, walk with me, then?"
He held his hand out towards Joshua, and Joshua moved his gaze down to it. What, did he want a high five? Joshua rolled his eyes, moving to walk next to Neku instead. "Where are you taking me first, hm?"
Neku quickly retracted his hand, shaking his head a bit. Joshua had to wonder what he'd actually wanted, there. "Brunch first," Neku told him, already heading in the direction of that crepe place fluffy 'n' sweet.
Nodding in approval, Joshua dutifully followed him. Crepes were good. Crepes were something he could agree to. "Let's not delay, then."
He looked over at Neku to see his smile growing at his words. Joshua couldn't help but return the expression. After three years, it was nice to see Neku be like this. Carefree, calm — in Shibuya. Honestly, the fact that he was in Shibuya at all was probably at the top of Joshua's list. It had been difficult to get things together for Neku to return, but he would've done it ten times over if it had meant that he could have something like this.
Whether or not he deserved it wasn't relevant, for a moment. He was here, and as he'd told himself earlier, this might make it easier to detach from Neku a little bit. He didn't need to be worrying over the Composer so frequently. After three years and two long Games, Neku deserved a normal life, full of normal things. To finish out his schooling, to enjoy his time with his friends, to enjoy the very fact that he was alive. Joshua didn't fit into a picture like that.
And that was okay with him. He stared, for a moment, at the hand Neku had held out for him earlier. It would be nice to be able to hold it, just once, Joshua thought. Too bad he didn't enjoy pushing his luck.
When they arrived at the restaurant, Neku immediately got them a table, near the corner of the store where people were less likely to bother them. It was very thoughtful, and Joshua almost wanted to tease him about it.
He opened his mouth to do so, but Neku cut him off before he got the chance. "What have you been up to lately?" Neku asked as if they were just catching up after a busy week of work. It was a funny picture in his head, the idea of him and Neku meeting up as colleagues or old friends in a normal world.
Joshua chuckled. "Clean up, mostly," he said, feeling no reason to lie. And wow, was there a lot of clean-up to do after the Shinjuku debacle. Those Reapers were not good at their jobs, and retraining his entire UG — now that it was his once more — was exhausting. At least Sho had only tried to kill him once.
He'd left it at that not expecting Neku to question it, but surprising him as always, Neku tilted his head. "How does that work, exactly?" When Joshua raised an eyebrow, he continued. "Are there like… Reaper classes, or something?"
While the idea of Reaper classes was a particular brand of hilarious, Joshua wasn't sure if he should be concerned by Neku's level of interest. He was supposed to want to be separating Neku from the UG, not pulling him back in. Not giving him more information about it, keeping it in his life, keeping him up to date.
Still, with Neku staring at him so earnestly, Joshua couldn't help but answer him truthfully. "That would be more work than it's worth," he said, mirth in his voice. "No, just… getting things back in order." He wouldn't go into more detail than that, Joshua decided. He had to set the boundary somewhere.
Neku chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. Joshua, much to his dismay, could not tear his eyes away from the movement.
Thankfully, the waitress interrupted them before he could say — or do — something terribly stupid to take their order. Once she'd left again, after Neku placed an order for both of them, he returned to staring at Joshua.
"You know," Neku said with a wry smile, "you're usually very good at talking about yourself. Cat got your tongue today or something?"
Leave it to him to be far too observant for his own good. Joshua swallowed, looking away for a moment before returning Neku's playful gaze with one of his own. "Nothing of the sort, partner. I'd just rather hear about you today, for once."
Which wasn't even a lie. He did want to know more about what was going on in Neku's life, though part of him wanted to run away from it all. If he knew more, he might be compelled, however consciously, to do something different for him. The city of Shibuya already singled Neku out far more than necessary. It was honestly nothing short of a miracle nobody had noticed before.
For a moment, Neku was silent at his reply. Since he'd come back from Shinjuku, while he'd gotten quieter, he'd also gotten sharper. It was nice to be able to catch him off guard, for once.
Then, he broke into a more genuine smile. "Well, all right," he agreed. "I suppose I can do that for you."
Brunch passed by, thankfully, without incident. The rest of the time was spent listening to Neku's various tales about the people in his life, what he'd been up to, and the things that he was struggling with coming back from such a long absence. It was strangely calming, talking to Neku in such a casual way.
They'd always clicked well, right from the very start. Even during the second week of their Game Joshua had found it easy to just open up to Neku. He was both horrified and delighted that the feeling appeared to be mutual, even now.
Right now, they were sitting in the grass at Miyashita Park, a surprisingly mundane activity for Neku to suggest. It wasn't too busy that early in the afternoon yet, which was nice. Not that anyone would've interrupted them, anyways — Joshua had no qualms using his abilities for his own gain, sometimes. And it wasn't as if the city ever minded.
"Joshua," Neku interrupted the silence, and Joshua turned to him almost instantly. It was a little funny, really, how quickly they'd gotten back in tune with each other. Almost as if they'd never been apart. "Thanks for agreeing to come out here today."
His voice was quiet, but not small. There was warmth seeping through it, similar to the sun hitting them from the sky. Joshua didn't bother to fight the smile creeping up on him.
"Why would I say no?" He asked, despite the fact that they both knew he had plenty of reasons to say no. A pretty bad track record, too.
Neku shrugged, before bringing a hand up to Joshua's face. They were sitting next to each other, so he didn't have to reach very far. Without thinking — or even noticing, really — Joshua leaned into the touch.
Taking that as a sign of something, Neku closed the distance between them, placing his lips softly on Joshua's. For all the reflexes in the world, Joshua didn't even have a thought of how to react. The only thing he could do was have his eyes flutter closed and return the kiss.
When he finally gained the wherewithal to move, Joshua quickly put some space in between them, staring at Neku with what was no doubt a shocked expression on his face.
Neku smiled at him, much warmer than the sun in the sky. "Next time," Neku said, eyes full of laughter at his reaction to the kiss, "you can plan the date. Sound fair?"
Date. The word kept circling in Joshua's mind on repeat. They'd been on a date. Neku had invited him out today with the intention of it being a date. Neku had kissed him.
Well. Joshua supposed his plan of having this be a parting affair was down the drain, then. "Fine," he agreed before he could take it back. "Next time, I'll choose."