Chapter Text
Keigo had paced a path into the carpeting of his new apartment since the war came to an end. Anxiety and stress had made it near impossible to sit still for more than a minute and he knew his coworkers were getting frustrated with him. He assumed that was the real reason he had been told to take a day off, not the flimsy excuse that he should catch up on sleep and let his feathers grow back properly. As if that had ever stopped him from doing hero work before.
However, his worries had nothing to do with his career, actually they had more to do with the aspect of his life that would likely ruin his career, more specifically a person. Standing in the middle of his little living space, Keigo had finally worked up the courage to contact Todoroki Shoto and his heart had yet to relax. That was half an hour ago.
- [Is your brother allowed visitors?]
He hadn’t wanted to ask any actual authorities on the matter, afraid to bring unwanted attention to himself. Since his undercover work had been revealed to the public, they’d likely get suspicious. Keigo almost wanted to retract the question, tell the UA student to ignore his previous message, but as his thumb hovered over the send button a second time, the phone buzzed and he nearly dropped it. Wow, he was tense.
- Youngest Todoroki - [Visiting hours end at six for non-family members.]
Keigo answered a bit quicker than intended.
- [Is he comfortable with visitors?]
Luckily, the kid didn’t draw attention to how pathetic this conversation probably seemed. A pro hero asking a child’s permission to visit his older brother who was technically in police custody. But pulling rank felt wrong, it wasn’t his place.
- Youngest Todoroki - [Yes, but your visit won’t be private. He was a guard in the room with him.]
Good kid. Did he know more than Keigo thought he did? Did his brother tell him? No. Why would he? They certainly hadn’t parted on good enough terms for that.
- [Thank you, Shoto.]
- Youngest Todoroki - [You’re welcome, Hawks.]
It had been a long time since Keigo felt as nervous as he did when he stood in front of Todoroki Touya’s hospital door. He knew he was getting looks from the guards stationed outside the door. He could feel their eyes boring into him. Japan’s number two reduced to a useless husk of himself when confronted with knocking on a harmless hospital door. When he did finally stop standing frozen in place and knock, the gruff response from inside made him flinch and his heart skipped.
“Yeah. Who is it?”
Keigo slid the door open slowly and took a single step across the threshold before freezing when he made eye contact. His voice caught in his throat and his whispered hello was almost a wheeze. The guard stationed right inside the door snorted but never looked up from his magazine. The door closed on Keigo’s back and he forced himself to put on his best professional expression as he approached the bed. It was difficult, he was feeling very much like Keigo and nothing at all like Hawks .
Touya had been reading, the book now closed in his lap, bookmarked with a dog ear in the top corner. When Keigo hesitated to sit down, Touya gave the empty seat by his bed a pointed look and set his book on his bed stand. Seated and no longer focusing on not falling over, Keigo took in Touya’s appearance. He looked so different from the Dabi that Hawks had seen leveling buildings with his flames in the fight against his brother. The worst of the damages were gone from what he could tell. Bandages wrapped up and down his arms and crept up his neck towards his jaw where patches had been strategically placed over the worst of his burns. There was also a missing tension in his shoulders that, even with the villain’s signature slouch, Keigo had always noticed. He looked calm… resolved to his fate maybe. It prompted a guilty ache in Keigo’s chest for the man he had first grown close to.
“How are you feeling?” He finally asked, breaking the silence. He directed the question at the IV coming from Touya’s wrist, even when he could feel those piercing eyes on him.
“As good as anyone who tried to off himself and his brother would be. Why are you here?”
Ah, skipping the pleasantries .
Keigo rubbed his hand over his chin, lingering on the outline of the scar that crawled up his cheek. “To check in. I haven’t spoken to you since…” His feathers were acutely aware of how long it had been since the guard last turned a page. “... my wings.”
They hadn’t actually met once after Touya burned off his wings, almost permanently grounding him. Through whatever all-knowing connections he seemed to have, Touya had found his new address and came to visit. It hadn’t been long after Hawks and Best Jeanist had begun their search for the long-lost son of Endeavor.
…
A window across the room creaked and Hawks lifted his gaze to watch Dabi slip through the open frame and land on the floor not far below. Seeing the hero slouching into the couch, he grinned, teeth glinting bright in the dark room. Maybe Hawks would have been more concerned had he not been in the middle of a depressive episode. Any fight left in him after the raid had been completely sapped away. He watched Dabi with half lidded, heavy eyes.
“Hey birdie.” The nickname felt sour coming from the villain after what he had done. Hawks became more aware of the dull aching of his back, begging him to stop leaning against his injured wings. He didn’t budge, the pain was his anchor.
“Hey.”
Dabi stalked across the room, kicking over a stack of clothes Hawks had finally found the resolve to fold. Lingering on the pile for a moment longer, Hawks supposed it was a sign to leave them unfolded until he wore them again. He lifted his gaze to where Dabi was leaning over him, shoes nudging against Hawks’ cold feet. A scarred hand rose and he let it get close. Maybe because he didn’t see flames, maybe because he didn’t care if he had.
“I really thought they’d stick you in the hospital for longer. You sound like shit.” Dabi tapped the bandage taped to Hawks’ throat. “Look it too.”
“I’ll get better wherever. Got work to do,” he huffed.
Dabi shook his head as if he were surprised by the hero’s words. No. Maybe he was disappointed. “Finding me?”
Hawks nodded.
“Well, I’m here. What’cha gonna do?”
He heard the teasing in Dabi’s voice, watched him spread his arms at his sides like an invitation. He couldn’t bring himself to react. He looked at Dabi’s waving hands. Maybe if he upset him he would… that didn’t sound too bad, but he didn’t want to speak right now.
“Why are you here?”
The condescending grin fell and Dabi kicked Hawk’s foot, leaning down to knock his knuckles against Hawks’ temple. “Doesn’t matter. What’s goin’ on up there hero? Did I give you brain damage during our fight? Damn kick was stronger than I thought.”
“Sure.”
Dabi growled and yanked Hawks upright by his collar, slamming him into the coffee table, hand around his throat. Outside of a choke and a passive hand on Dabi’s arm, Hawks let him.
“Quit screwing with me! Only reason I let your lying ass live was so you’d think about what I told you and fix things on your end. Don’t tell me you’re still playing their game, because I know you agreed with me!”
Deep down, those words dug at Hawk’s core but he couldn’t swim to the surface of his consciousness fast enough to prove it. His thoughts felt like tar. “If you’re not going to kill me, leave.”
And Dabi did. He dropped his hold around Hawks’ neck. It had never been tight enough to hurt. An empty threat. Hawks watched him scoff and make for the window, steps pounding angrily against the floor. He stopped at the open window and looked over his shoulder, quite literally fuming.
“Eat something. You can’t fix anything if you’re dead.” Then he was gone. Hawks rolled onto the floor between the table and the couch. He still can’t remember if he cried.
…
Keigo buried his face in his hands and exhaled slowly. He had thought about this conversation for months, but couldn’t remember a single thing he had planned on saying. All those recited conversations were lost to the wind. “I’m glad you’re alive and… I’m sorry.”
Touya snorted and the bed creaked when he leaned back into where it was propped up. “For what?”
“Leaving,” he mumbled.
Touya leaned forward, humming as if he hadn’t heard properly. Keigo knew he had. He also knew the guard was listening to his every word. He spoke up anyway.
“Leaving. Returning to the Commission and being too afraid to make any difference.”
Behind him, the guard shuffled in his chair. Above his bent head, Touya didn’t speak. His heartbeat picked up just enough for the monitor to voice it, Keigo halted the flutter of his wings.
“Are you trying to make yourself feel better, or do you actually mean that?”
“You were right. May have overreacted a little-” Touya scoffed. “-but you were right about hero society. It’s screwed up, and I was part of the problem. Even when you showed me the proof, I didn’t lift a finger.”
He looked up then, meeting the satisfied glint in Touya’s eyes. “I guess all it took was me almost dying. You gotta death kink or something?”
The guard choked on his spit and hurriedly stood to get a drink from the room’s bathroom. Touya laughed.
Keigo ignored the remark and turned back to the man in the bed. He didn’t have much time before the guard was back in earshot. He reached over and gripped Touya’s hand, hoping to take advantage of their brief privacy.
“Touya, I still-”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Y-you do? How?”
Touya laughed and turned his hand over to hold Keigo’s back. That action alone was enough to make Keigo shake. He thought Touya hated him. Maybe he still did and was just lurring the hero in. If that was the case, Keigo would let him. But the fingers drawing circled into his palm said otherwise.
"Because Kei, I-” The guard cleared his throat as he returned from the bathroom and Touya’s hand jumped back into his lap, leaving Keigo’s hands cold. The nickname on Touya’s lips had left his insides feeling like mush. He almost didn’t notice the conversation continuing. “I’ve always been able to see through your lies.” His tone changed when he spoke. Keigo peaked over his shoulder at the guard before looking at Touya and allowing himself a smile. A genuine one. Scooting closer, his fingers crept across the bedding to Touya’s lap. He waited until the man acknowledged the motion before hooking his fingers around the bandaged ones that he had once been familiar with.
“I guess you have. Where will they send you when you recover?”
Touya frowned and fiddled with his IV, Keigo squeezed his fingers to stop him. “Trial. Then it’s either prison or rehab. Probably prison.” He made a sour face that earned a sympathetic look. For as much as Dabi had preached his plans to become a martyr, Touya didn’t seem thrilled by the promise of incarceration.
Thoughts were beginning to cloud Keigo’s head. He eyed the windows across the room and the quirk canceling restraints around Touya’s wrist and ankle. Touya must have noticed because he leaned forward and spoke just loud enough that only Keigo’s feathers could understand.
“Are you planning something stupid?”
Keigo shook his head. He didn’t think it was stupid. Maybe a bit spontaneous, foolhardy even, but not stupid. “Do you mind if I come back tomorrow?”
Touya shook his head and watched silently as Keigo stood and his hand slipped back to his side where he plucked a small feather from his wings and nodded to the book on the bed stand.
“For you. I know you don’t like dog-earring your books.”
Touya didn’t say anything else before he left the room, but Keigo knew him well enough to know the look in his eyes was equivalent to a thank you.
The next day, Keigo arrived with a book in hand. The same guard was stationed inside the room and he took the book, inspecting the pages. He wouldn’t find anything. Hawks’ infiltration of the League may have gone sideways, but he was no ameteur in coded messages. Seeing the lengths the guard was going to, Touya scoffed from his bed.
“You don’t search those hero kids’ bags when they visit. They’re full of books. Leave him alone, wannabe hot shot.” It was good to see the fight hadn’t robbed Touya of any of his charm.
The guard rolled his eyes and tossed the book back to keigo. “Your previous partnership as well as yesterday’s conversation leave room for concern. Today’s conversation will be monitored..”
Keigo didn’t bother reacting as he made himself comfortable in the seat next to the bed. He handed the book over and Touya flipped through it, smirking. The guard had been right to search the book, but the coded message he was looking for relied on a code only the two knew, one they had memorized during Hawks’ time in the League. He wouldn’t find a thing. Touya scanned the pages while Keigo spoke.
“I kept thinking about yesterday. If felt like you forgave me too easily, I thought you hated me.”
Touya shrugged. “Maybe I did. Maybe I do. I’ve been feeling particularly forgiving lately… to certain individuals.” He glanced up at keigo through his hanging bangs.
“And I’m one of those people?” Keigo couldn’t help the crack in his voice.
“What? You think I’d just play with your feelings?” The look Keigo gave him was enough of an answer. “That’s fair. Maybe I was happy just to see you thinking for yourself. You’re finally using that pretty head of yours for something other than following orders. Took you longer than it should have though.”
Maybe it seemed like too little too late, but going against years of training had taken more than a single conversation and hearing Touya affirm that made Keigo grin. His feathers ruffled against his back joyfully.
“Silly bird,” Touya turned a page and stopped. His expression changed, smile gone. The look he gave Keigo as he translated the message was one of warning. His eyes jumped to the guard, then to the window, then back to Keigo and his wings. He gave a curt shake of his head and Keigo nodded for him to keep reading. He knew Touya would react that way. It was a big risk, with lists of things that could go wrong, but Keigo wanted to take it.
“I’ve been thinking about my career lately.” He twisted in the chair so he could lean against the arm rest and drape his wings over the side. “With AFO gone and most of you guys in custody, the threats have been a lot smaller.” Keigo reminded himself to visit the incarcerated members of the League. They probably wouldn’t forgive him like Touya had. Love was strange like that… if love is still what they could call it.
“You wanted to make a world where heroes could relax with no one to save. Have you done that?”
“I’m getting closer, but it was an unrealistic dream to have. There will always be people in need of saving.”
Touya looked up from the book then. His bright eyes were swimming as they jumped between Keigo’s golden, determined ones. His hold on the books was tight, as if the words would escape if he was any gentler.
“But you don’t have to be the one to save everyone.”
“I know that now,” Keigo gave him a soft smile. Touya seemed frazzled. Was Keigo’s coded proposition too much? Maybe he should have waited longer to share it. But he couldn’t wait forever, once Touya was released from the hospital, his trial would begin and the proposition would mean nothing. He watched Touya’s fingers tap out his answer on the edges of the pages and his wings fluffed up again, sending his heart into a frenzy. He struggled to control himself in front of the guard.
Yes. That was a yes. Touya said yes. Not only did he not hate him, he was willing to leave with Keigo, for years. Maybe even forever. Forever didn’t seem so bad.
“So the number two hero has a retirement plan?Twenty three is young for retirement. What will you do if you run out of money? Or get bored?” Touya smiled now, it was cautious, but it was there.
“I guess I’ll get a job. Maybe I’ll finally find myself a hobby.”
The conversation flowed without suspicion, but Keigo knew these questions were more than casual conversation. Touya wanted a look into what could one day be their future together. God, that sentence made Keigo swoon. He didn’t deserve it. He had done so much wrong in his life (consciously or not), hurt so many people, yet here was an opportunity to live happily. If he began to cry, he didn’t make enough noise or the guard to notice.
Touya thumbed a silent tear away. “You’ve got it all figured out.” If he spoke any sweeter, the guard would surely notice.
Keigo nodded. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it lately.” He checked his watch. “I have a meeting soon. I’ll stop by tomorrow if I have time.” He gave a secretive grin, as if his entire plan didn’t hitch on the success of tomorrow. Touya’s lips quirked in reserved amusement and patted Keigo’s knee.
“Yeah, birdie. If you keep visiting like this, people will start to get ideas.”
Keigo just laughed and waved at the guard as he walked out the door.