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Loving Simon Snow is not something Baz has ever known to be easy.
It challenges his patience, his pride. His tolerance for scones.
But more than that, it makes the cold heart in his chest so warm he can feel it melting.
A downside, though, is that it's also never easy when you see your bright fire reduced to barely a spark by his own mind.
Waking up alone in the dead of night is never pleasant. But it's the cause for great concern when you're Baz Pitch. More specifically, when you're dating Simon Snow.
After sleepily stumbling from bed, Baz found Simon curled up on the couch. Knees pressed to his chest. Tail coiled around his ankle.
You could always tell when Simon was crying. He tried so hard to hide it that nothing else could be more obvious.
Baz stood in the doorway of their bedroom for a long moment, long hair disheveled from sleep. He watched as Simon slowly lifted his head, sniffling.
"I'm fine," were the first words that left his lips, quiet and subdued. Of course he would say them. Baz would expect nothing less. He made his way silently to Simon, crouching down in front of him with a patience that had taken time to learn.
Baz murmured, "Love? What is it?"
Simon shook his head, wings curling protectively around his body.
A soft sigh, "Please, Simon. I know something's wrong. Just tell me, sweetheart." Baz needed to know, he needed to know or it would tear him apart. He had to help somehow.
Thankfully, the words sprang from Simon's lips as if he couldn't not say them anymore, "You're going to leave me."
The way he said it like a truth settled cold and dreary over Baz. The words felt so deeply wrong that he nearly assumed he'd misheard them. He only blinked, "What?"
Simon sniffed again, another tear rolling down his cheek, "I know it'll happen eventually. Won't it? Maybe you should go now, save us the pain."
Baz slowly shook his head, struggling for the right words to counter an idea that couldn't even take root in his mind, "Simon… love. I would never do that. Why would I ever do that?"
Simon shrugged, "I… I don’t know. I'm too much and I never know what to say or do. I never know how to handle anything in my life or-"
Baz stopped him gently, holding up a hand, "Darling. Everything you're listing is something I couldn't go a day without. And it's not like I know what I'm doing either. That's why we're doing it together."
Simon chewed at his bottom lip, which Baz could see was pink in some spots, bitten raw, "But… how can you be so sure?" His voice broke, desperate for something concrete to hold onto.
Baz smiled, reaching up to wipe away the tears from Simon's cheeks, "Sweetheart, I have loved you since we were little more than children. I couldn't stop now even if I tried. And I'd never want to do that. You're my world, Simon Snow. Name me a reason why I would throw that away."
Simon sniffed again, but this time a slow, hesitant smile appeared on his lips, "Really? You… you mean that?"
Baz pressed a kiss to the back of Simon's hand, "A thousand times over, my love."
It was practically visible, the way Simon melted. He leaned down to pull Baz into a fumbling kiss, and Baz gave a breathless chuckle. His boy was back. His Simon was back, for now at least. And that was all that mattered.