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"I'm telling you guys," Marcy says with an eyeroll, "my parents haven't stopped with the questions since my birthday. 'When are you getting a boyfriend, Marcy? When are you getting married?' It's really weird."
Anne sips her taro tea and makes a face. "Man, they do not make the boba the same anymore. It's too--"
"Watery?" Sasha sips her own. "Should've gone with classic, Anne. You can't fuck with the classic."
"Taro is a classic! It's like the triad of safezone flavours. Classic milk tea, Thai, taro--you can't go wrong with these!" Anne takes another sip and winces. "It's not the worst, there's one near a new 99 Ranch that, lemme tell you, apparently flavoured milk water is the move now. Ehgh. Talk about lackluster."
Marcy stirs her own half-classical-rose, half-brown-sugar, grass-jelly-and-red-beans-filled cheese-foam-cap boba as she watches them bicker. She's perfected her order. It's been only a few days since the reunion, and yet it feels like everything's synced to normal; Sasha's prodding and ribbing, Anne's lowkey dramatics, Marcy's own nervous, bubbling giggles threatening to spill from her chest.
Anne finally starts sucking vigorously on the boba pearls. "Oh sorry, Marcy. Didn't mean to cut you off like that."
"Nah, you didn't. As I was saying--" Marcy shrugs. "Mom and Dad have just, uhh, been on my ass for months about my husbando-to-be." She mimes looking around wildly in the tea store. "Oh, art thou, where is my blushing groom-to-be? Perhaps he hides under the shelf of Pockys at the corner--"
"I'm allergic to the strawberry ones," Sasha chips in.
"--and I don't want to! But I dunno how to tell them." Marcy folds her arms and pouts down on her tea. The cheese foam cap is slowly dissolving.
"Can I have a sip of your tea, Mar-Mar?"
"Oh, yeah. Sure."
Anne takes a lengthy sip and sets the cup back down. "Is it 'cause you don't want to marry now, or--?"
Marcy tightens her armfold and sinks a little lower in her chair. "I'm...I don't know. They're not actually expecting me to go full ceremony, I'm only 23, but--uh--they keep asking me why I'm still, uh, single. It's, it's annoying. I don't have free time to just find someone, y'know?"
Anne and Sasha glance at each other.
"Gotcha."
"Right."
Marcy shrugs again. "Just--just putting out my love life out here. Since we're catching up and all."
"Uh, Marcy, you don't have to if you don't want to." Sasha's voice has dropped to a more soothing tone. "Whatever you're comfortable with sharing."
"Thanks, doc."
"And, I mean, you probably noticed the sticker on my rearview mirror, but if it's romantic experience--" Sasha holds her hands out, classic boba forgotten. "Just saying, I'm bisexual. Took me a long time to figure it out, but college helped me make sense of what I was feeling."
"Yeah, I noticed." Marcy flushes. "Like, the sticker! That's what I meant. Not your bisexuality--wait, unless I missed something, oh geez, did I miss something?" Marcy buries her face in her hands. "No, no, that sounds so bad as well, I'm not surprised! Or not--not-surprised. Like, it feels--just like you, Sasha."
"To be bisexual?" Sasha says with an amused expression.
"No, no, no! I mean--yes, wait, what? Just, you being really confident and open about it. It's--kinda cool." The flush crawls further up Marcy's face. "Really...really cool, actually."
"Marcy?"
"I'm gay!" Marcy blurts out. She quickly flinches, covering up her eyes.
Her parents have never said it directly, but she can feel it sometimes--stay away from him, he's too--he talks weird. There's nothing wrong with Michelle, it's just that--she hangs around girls too much. It's an unspoken thing that hangs over her head. Marcy huddles further in her seat, waiting for the words to come.
slurrrrrp
"Shit, Marcy, sorry!" Anne hacks out a pearl. Sasha instantly leans over and thumps her hard between the shoulder-blades. "Marcy, sorry, I wasn't trying to downplay the moment or anything--that's awesome! I'm glad you're--hckrghh--" Sasha thumps harder, and a few pearls splatter over the table. Anne wheezes. "Crap, I'm--I'm really proud of you--"
A lightness warms Marcy's chest.
"That's amazing, Marcy," Sasha says kindly, a smile lighting up her face. "You figured out the biggest trade secret in the universe."
"Uh..."
"Women are awesome." Sasha winks at her, and Marcy can feel a tight, nervous fluttering in her stomach. "But really, I'm glad you're comfortable with telling us. You can trust us."
Anne coughs out the last of the pearls.
"These things are oversized. Ugh. But--Marcy!!" Anne grabs Marcy's hands and squeezes them, the smile pushing all the way to her eyes, and the fluttering increases. "I'm so, so happy for you, and we're always here to talk, and--if we're all saying this--I mean--I'm bi too! I think. Still not sure sometimes, but, uh, this is your spotlight, man, and I don't wanna drag this one over to me--"
"Oh, geez, Anne, it's fine! We can talk about whatever--!"
"Nuh-uh!" Anne retreats slightly. "I mean, unless you want to not talk about it, which is also totally cool. Like, completely cool. Whatever your lane wants."
Sasha snorts. "'Whatever your lane wants?' Did you just make that up?"
"Did not. It's valid; look it up."
"Fine, I will!"
Anne's hands are still holding onto hers. Marcy tries not to think on how warm they are, how both Anne's and Sasha's laughters ring around the boba shop. A faint memory bubbles into her head--waking up from a dark, deep abyss, the voices of thousands empty from her head, Anne and Sasha leaning over her with tears in their eyes. In the dim light of the Core's room, they had looked almost...
And Marcy remembers her heart beating, the essence of a human--a hard, warm thump. A rush of warmth, like being lowered into a bath. Her mouth going dry.
"The saying does not exist." Sasha's voice snaps Marcy out of her thoughts. "The closest thing is 'stay in your lane'."
"Well, now it exists! That's how words work."
"Nuh-uh. And dude, you're gonna cut off Marcy's blood pressure if you keep squeezing like that." Sasha gently holds one of Anne's hands, lifting it off Marcy's.
Anne's hands loosen, ready to pull away--and Marcy doesn't know what made her reach after the hands, tighten her own grip. Just a bit. For a moment she's holding both of their hands.
And then she quickly shies away, warmth surging into her face. The moment had been quick. Anne and Sasha hadn't even noticed it.
Marcy feels her stomach flutter again.
A decade ago, she hadn't known what that feeling was. Or maybe she had always known, and now--with the revelation leaving her lips--she had a word for it.
"Marcy?" Sasha waves a hand. "You gotta tell us about your comic! You said there was a reference to Proteus?"
"Were the readers blown away? I was totally blown away?"
"Anne, damnit, you spoiled it!"
Shit, Marcy thinks. The word fills her head, a slow seep that makes her heart speed up, her stomach clench, but somehow--paradoxically--she feels more calm than ever. She watches Anne giggle, watches Sasha laugh, watches the sunlight play with their hair. In the afternoon light, she can't take her eyes away.
The flutter returns, again, and Marcy can't stop her smile.