Work Text:
“So it’s called…. Fanfiction?”
“Yes,” Higuchi beamed, scrolling further down the page. “See? And all these people just publish their works here for others to read.”
“.....Higuchi, why are you showing me this?”
“Because, look—” she typed something in the search bar, leading to a new page. “See? People in Yokohama have written things about us.”
He frowned. “About you and me?”
“I, uh,” she paused, flustered. “No, I just meant that- like, they’ve written things about the Port-Mafia.”
“Oh. Why?”
“I don’t know. But it’s international apparently. People talk about us as if we’re part of some show, it’s kind of concerning but also really cool.”
“I think it’s creepy,” he shook his head. “How are they supposed to know anything about me?”
“Er,” she blinked. “Well, they know about the dynamic between you and Dazai.”
“What.”
Higuchi looked away. “Yeah, a lot of people ship him with you apparently.”
“I—” Akutagawa snatched the computer, staring at the screen intensely. “How dare they slander Dazai-san’s name like that. He would never even consider the thought of being with me.”
“Woah,” she took back the computer, frowning. “Haven’t you been seeing that therapist I recommended to you?”
“What is a….” he squinted. “Ther-a-piss?”
“I gave you a little card with her number? I put it in your coat pocket, don’t you remember?”
“.....I thought that was you asking me out.”
Higuchi fumbled. “What? No- I wouldn’t do that. I mean—”
“What is a Shin Soukoku?”
“Huh?” she looked back at the screen. “Oh, that’s the ship name between you and Atsushi.”
“A….ship name? Is it referencing that time I kidnapped him and stuffed him in a shipping container and then the boat exploded?”
She blinked. “What? Um.. It’s just a nickname of sorts to describe a… er, romantic relationship.”
“A romantic relationship,” he said, “between me and the jinko?”
“Yes.”
He coughed, bringing a hand to cover his mouth. Higuchi frowned— was he blushing?
“Why would they— What do me and him even have in common?”
“Enemies to lovers,” she said happily. “It’s a term used to describe people who start out as enemies, but start expressing their crushes on one another and start dating.”
“Jinko and I are not lovers.”
She shrugged. “That doesn’t stop them.”
Akutagawa forgot about the conversation for a few weeks until Higuchi sent him a text.
He’d just come back from a mission, and was getting ready for the training session he had with the new members in about an hour.
Then, his phone moaned.
He jolted, looking at it with disdain. Tachihara had hacked into the device a while ago and had changed all his ringtones, plus his wallpaper.
Gin wouldn’t tell him how to change it-- she just laughs at him when he complains-- but maybe he could try threatening one of his subordinates into fixing it….?
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • 1 unseen message
hi, akutagawa-senpai! sorry to bother you, but could you read this article i found? it’s superrrr cute and has a bit of advice i think you should follow :) – IH
(link attached: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37924321/chapters/94709503)
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
No.
“From: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
pleaseeeeeeee. i won’t bother you about it ever again? 🥺 – IH
Akutagawa frowned, clicking on the link. It opened a webpage, and the first thing he noticed was the odd title: ‘The Dark Heart of a Port-Mafia Executive’
Could it be about….him?
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
Higuchi, why did you send me a fanfiction?
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • 3 minutes ago.
read it <3
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • 5 minutes ago.
Fine.
He switched back to the webpage, clicking an orange button. It led him to chapter one, and he noticed the work seemed to be written by someone of the name ’white_tiger69’ with the personal name of Jinx.
Interesting, he thought. They must be a fan of Atsushi.
He began reading.
“Akutagawa,” someone knocked on his door. “Are you… okay in there?”
He blinked, looking down at his phone in confusion. What time was it?
“The new subordinates have been waiting for over an hour now. Do you want me to ask if Chuuya can train them instead?”
He recognized the voice as Tachihara.
“Go away,” he responded, curt and to the point. That was an acceptable answer, right?
“Uhh… Are you sure that the boss won’t get upset that you dipped? I think Chuuya has a lot of things to do today anywa—”
“Go away.”
“Alright, have it your way,” the other said, audibly annoyed as he walked away from the door.
Akutagawa turned back to his phone.
This fanfiction was…. a lot better than he’d ever dare to admit.
It was a sort of self-insert between the reader and himself, and the reader was a journalist who went undercover in the Port Mafia to get inside information for their newest article.
Currently, he was reading about his teeth nipping at their throat as he groped them in an alleyway.
It was a little awkward as he could never imagine himself in a situation like that, but the comments fawning over him were amusing. He didn’t even know anyone could have such a… positive opinion of him.
dazais_old_sock: Ahhhh!! This is literally so good <3
akutagawas.used.tampon: I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ??? gay akutagawa (real)
peniswise420: am i the only one imagining atsushi as the reader or….
↪ kunikidamybeloved: NO BECAUSE ME TOO?? imagine if he wrote this LMAO
↪ white_tiger69: haha imagine
Atsushi.
Akutagawa hadn’t even been thinking of the weretiger before that comment, but now he sure was.
His face flushed, and he had put his phone aside for a moment to compose himself.
“Get ahold of yourself, Ryuu,” he criticized. “Imagine if Dazai-san could see you now, getting so worked up over a silly jinko? This is not how the Port-Mafia does things.”
He took a breath, grabbing his phone again so he could read the next chapter.
Except… there wasn’t one.
The work was unfinished?
No, no this couldn't be.
This was a crime, he had to know what happened next or he couldn’t live with himself.
Damn author, leaving him on a cliffhanger like that. He was an executive of the Port-Mafia, didn’t they know? He could track them down and kill them for the emotional distress they were causing him right now.
The comments. He could leave a comment asking for an update! Surely Jinx would update the fanfiction with a little motivation like that, right?
First, he had to make an account.
He typed his name, Akutagawa, into the text box.
Sorry, this username is taken! Try using something else, like Akutagawa5987.
What? Somebody on the internet was impersonating him? How dare they.
Whatever, he could deal with it later.
He clicked the suggested option, entered a password, and he was in.
He went back to the fanfiction.
Akutagawa5987: Hello. I greatly enjoyed this fanfiction, and would be honored if you updated it soon; or else.
The author replied almost instantly.
white_tiger69: hey!! thanks for commenting. the new chapter should be out next week, as per my usual updating schedule ^w^
Next week? That was far too long. There’s no way it takes an entire week to only write a single chapter.
Akutagawa5987: Why can you not update it now?
white_tiger69: believe it or not, i actually have a life outside of this website and writing takes a lot of time.
Akutagawa5987: Could you tell me what happens, at least?
kunikidamybeloved: hey dude, you’re not some princess. wait for the next chapter like the rest of us, and respect the author’s boundaries.
Akutagawa5987: Excuse me? Are you aware of who you are talking to right now?
kunikidamybeloved: some troll with a blank profile picture? lol
They… didn’t know who he was? But his username clearly says he is Akutagawa, the Port Mafia’s Hellhound. How could they be disrespecting him like this?
Akutagawa5987: I am Akutagawa, one of the Port Mafia’s highest executives. If I wanted to, I could have you killed right now for the way you are speaking to me.
kunikidamybeloved: noooo, really? and i’m scott cawthon.
akutagawas.used.tampon: guys look out!! the kinnie escaped from twitter 🤯🤯
Akutagawa5987: Don’t go outside tonight, because I will find you.
kunikidamybeloved: dude shut up…. you’re embarrassing yourself so much rn
white_tiger69: heyy uh, guys? could we please keep fighting in the comments to a minimum,, this is supposed to be a safe space :’)
That was his final straw.
It was time to go to Higuchi, she was experienced in the ways of the internet.
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
HIGUCHI. How do I get somebody banned from Wattpad?
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
what happened to hello? good morning?? how are you???
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
Answer the question or you’re demoted.
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • 1 minute ago
s,, sorry aku-senpai ^^’ hmm… you could try reporting them? though you need a legitimate reason for that or it won’t be acknowledged.
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
Alright, thank you.
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
hold on,, er– what did you get yourself into that you would need that information?
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • 1 minute ago
akutagawa-senpai ???
He reported the user and sighed with relief.
Now, he just had to wait until they were banned from the face of the internet.
His phone moaned again. It was a male’s voice this time.
He stared down at the notification; somebody had messaged him on Wattpad?
white_tiger69: hey. i’m sorry that my readers went off on you like that… they can get a little defensive sometimes lol– anyways, i’m sure you didn’t mean any harm. unless you did, then idk why i’m writing this,, :’D but yeah i actually did get started on the new chapter today so it should actually be out tomorrow :)
Akutagawa5987: Hello, author. Thank you for the apology, but I am sorry that I seemed to disrespect your boundaries and if I rushed your wonderful writing in any way. If I can do anything to make it up to you, just let me know :)
He put a smiley face at the end to make the message more friendly.
white_tiger69: oh wow you actually do sound a lot like the actual akutagawa, haha :P which reminds me… if you want, you could beta read the chapter for me? you seem to have a pretty good sense of grammar and punctuation.
Huh?
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
what does being a beta reader mean
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
you do know that i’m not your personal google, right…?
From: Ichiyō Higuchi • 1 minute ago
sorry for any disrespect tho!! uhh, a beta reader would be somebody you have read your fanfic to point out any mistakes and give you feedback :)
To: Ichiyō Higuchi • Now
k
Akutagawa5987: I accept your offer.
white_tiger69: okay!! i’ll send you the link to the doc rn :3
The next chapter was……. spectacular.
He only had one issue, though.
Akutagawa5987: I don’t think that Akutagawa would use tongue.
white_tiger69: no?? he totally seems like that type of guy though.
Akutagawa5987: Trust me, he’s not as experienced as you think.
white_tiger69: hmmm okay. i’ll change it :) nervous aku for the win <3
Jinx sent him a heart. A heart!
Akutagawa5987: aha yeah
Akutagawa5987: Sorry if this is personal, but where did you learn to write? This fanfiction seems professional.
white_tiger69: ohh no it’s fine!! i always love answering questions, thank you :)
white_tiger69: i’m self-taught, actually– i grew up in an orphanage and did some writing when i could but kinda grew out of it,, now that i’m older my therapist actually recommended it as a coping method for anxiety and such.
Akutagawa5987: oh, cool
Akutagawa5987: i don’t have parents either
white_tiger69: i
Akutagawa5987: Yeah.
Over the next few weeks, they grew to be close friends.
Jinx would tell him whenever he (the author was a guy! Akutagawa looked back at his profile and saw that he had his pronouns in his... ‘bio’) finished the newest chapter, then the executive would message back what he thought of it, and it would be uploaded.
It was a good, normal rhythm that they shared.
Akutagawa almost felt… happy exchanging messages with this stranger.
Akutagawa awoke to a knocking at his door.
He frowned. Didn’t he warn people about disturbing him at this hour?
Getting off of his bed, he cautiously made his way to the disturbance.
He opened the door.
“Hey, Akutagawa,” the man awaiting him said, “how have you been?”
He believed the man’s name was… Ranpo, a member of the Armed Detective Agency.
“What are you doing here?” he said, eyes narrowing as he went to close the door.
But before he could, a bag enclosed around his head.
Shit–-- he flinched, reaching for Rashoumon just as he felt a prick to his neck.
“Thanks, Poe,” Ranpo said, grabbing Akutagawa before the executive fell to the floor. “Now, let’s go meet up with Kyouka.”