Chapter Text
He looked up at Tubbo, a familiar feeling sitting at the pit of his stomach, finding himself slipping into headspace a touch too late. Tubbo rested a hand on Ranboo, simply as a notion to get him to sit still as he began squirming slightly. “Boo, sit still.” He shrugged, fairly nonchalant, finally meeting the other’s gaze as he stared up at him with a glazed over, doe-eyed look.
The pair were sat on the couch; Ranboo sprawled out across the length of the aforementioned, his head resting on Tubbo’s leg, while the shorter was sat upright, scrolling through twitter. The movie that played was merely background noise, though the way Ranboo spaced out gave the illusion that he was paying close attention.
He quickly drew a face back in frustration, clearly trying to fight the feeling off. He just felt like crying, but big boys don’t cry, he scolded himself mentally.
He could feel the look of pity his friend was eyeing his figure with as he held himself close, bringing his knees up to his chest as best he could. Tubbo didn’t take much notice aside from a quick glance down.
Ranboo seemed visibly tense at this point, desperately, constantly getting a grip on his surroundings and leaning against Tubbo for support. Something that… the shorter had definitely noticed. “Boo,” He began, which caused him to perk up, “Are you alright, Big Man?” Ranboo internally cringed at the irony of his friend calling him Big Man. The question seemed threatening. He knew exactly how he was feeling, but in no way was he ready to tell Tubbo about that at all. He opted for a small shrug as he turned his attention back to anything else. In return, he was given a confused stare from the other. A confused stare that shifted into a look of concern as he finally picked up on the taller’s behaviour.
The pair sat in an uncomfortable silence for a good while, with the occasional mumble coming from Ranboo after something catches his eye on screen. He quickly lost interest in the movie, zoning out as his hand made its way to his mouth, Ranboo absent minded as ever. He mumbled something again, thumb in mouth.
“Ranboo?” Tubbo questioned again, breaking the silence. He moved his thumb away, shoving his hands into his pockets awkwardly. “Are you sure you’re okay? You finished streaming, Boo. You can go to bed.” He was simply looking out for his friend. So why did Ranboo’s stomach do flips as he felt himself sink further into the regression? Words seemed difficult, the questions were difficult, everything was just… difficult. So, obviously, Ranboo chose to ignore Tubbo.
Tubbo watched most every movement the taller made, admiring how out of character it was. The penny dropped not long after as he managed to pin point that they were... childish. Though, not to be mistaken with blatantly immature, Ranboo’s mannerisms were literally that of a child’s, a toddler, even. The way his mouth was agape, drooling ever so slightly as his thumb lingered just in front of his mouth. Or maybe it was the way he babbled aimlessly, though didn’t he always make odd noises?
No, Tubbo thought, disagreeing with the reasonable point being made. He was right, however, this was different. It was like watching a child try to form sentences without actually knowing how to. His movements were jerked, and his eyes were glazed, giving an gormless expression. His eyes were glued to the screen, thought it didn’t at all seem like Ranboo was even watching it. He blurted out Ranboo’s name, immediately catching his interest. It was rare they ever said each other’s real names, opting for the fact that it felt comfier to say their online personas. Tubbo placed a hand on Ranboo’s head, but shrugged his hand off, making a small noise of distaste. “Boo, are you even listening to me?” He teared up at the stern tone, laced with a worry that the mentally-younger didn’t pick up on.
“M’ goin’ to bed…” Ranboo mumbled, catching his lanky frame as he clumsily stumbled to his room.
“I’ll set up my stream, then. Let me know if I get too loud.” He mumbled, heading off into his respective room.
Once in there, he flopped on the bed, grabbing the closest plush and gripping it close to his chest. A few stray tears soaked into his shirt, cringing at himself for being unable to hold it together. Embarrassment seemed to be the right label.
Knowing full well Tubbo would be busy with setting up his own stream for a while, Ranboo dug through his dresser and grabbed out a pacifier. It was half black, half white, with red and green stars appropriately adorning each side. The streamer had it custom made a little before he left for the UK. It was relatively expensive, but, in his expert opinion, it was worth it.
He gripped the pacifier in his hand, pacing his room anxiously. After repressing his regression since he arrived a couple weeks ago, he knew it would catch up eventually. Ranboo wasn’t exactly a voluntary regressor. It was a trauma response, of sorts. He continued walking back and forth, before deciding he missed Tubbo.
He wondered into Tubbo’s room, catching him as he began streaming. “Oh! Ranboo, come say hi! I just started streaming, I need you for clout.” Tubbo joked, his smile faltering slightly as the taller stood in the doorway awkwardly, “Tubs? I- uh- I don’t-“ Ranboo stumbled over his words, finding it increasingly difficult to stay big. “I’m… I can’t-“ He kept stuttering, gripping the pacifier harder as he shifted his weight between his feet. “Do you know where my Enderchest plush is…?” Ranboo mumbled, trying to find any excuse. Tubbo shrugged, eyes adorned with a concern that only an observant few in chat would likely pick up on.
Ranboo met Tubbo’s gaze for a fraction of a second, before flushing bright red with a flash of embarrassment and flopping down on his friend’s bed. He curled up, as though to make himself look smaller. It worked, Tubbo noted. His roommate looked smaller, like that of a toddler having a bad day. Ironic.
“Erm… Alright, well…?” Tubbo raised a brow in confusion before shrugging and turning back to his stream.
The covers smelt nice, Ranboo noted, burying his face in the scent. They smelt clean, they felt soft, and they were so, so comfortable.
This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence in the household. The pair loved spending time together. Ranboo thinks back on a thread he’d seen, fairly certain it’s called alone together or something. When things got overwhelming, his favourite thing to do was to simply just be sat in the same room as his friends. Not necessarily doing something together, typically doing their own thing. But it still felt so intimate and safe. This situation wasn’t the best example, but it was close enough.
All the internal monologue of how comforted he felt in Tubbo’s space almost (keyword: almost) made him forget he was supposed to be a big boy, not sulking into his friend’s bedsheets like a baby.
This is boring. Ranboo decided after a short while of simply laying there. Sleep seemed like the next viable option.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, but when he woke up, Tubbo was hovering over him, poking him gently.
“Ran, c’mon get out of my bed.”
He groaned softly, stretching his awkwardly long limbs. A small whine escaped his lips, and he immediately made an attempt to go back to sleep.
Tubbo sighed, half in annoyance, but truthfully he didn’t mind all that much. He sat down on the edge of the bed, giving Ranboo a gentle pat as he scanned the room.
The first thing that caught his eye was-
“Huh. Weird.” Tubbo mumbled, getting up to grab the item. It was definitely Ranboo’s. There’s no way it could have belonged to anyone else. It was cute, admittedly, but definitely weird. A… pacifier? Bigger than your usual one, distinctly made to fit an adult mouth.
“Hey, Ran?” He turned around, still eyeing up the item as Ranboo remained half asleep. He gave a drawn out groan, annoyed that his roommate wouldn’t just leave him to sleep. It took a second to process what Tubbo was holding, but the second it clicked, he bolted upright.
“That isn’t- I don’t know what that is. That isn’t mine. I- I don’t-” He stumbled over his words, panic setting deep as Tubbo continued to offer up the item.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay! Do we need to talk, Ranboo? You’ve been acting weird all day, and now this?” He paused for a moment before considering how potentially snappy he sounded, “It’s okay, I swear! I’m just curious! I wanna know that you’re okay, y’know? I’m always here for you, dude.”
He took a step back, giving his friend space as he set the pacifier down on his desk.
To say Tubbo hadn’t noticed his friend getting increasingly stressed would be a lie. Some days, Ranboo seemed beyond irritable, short-tempered, and just… blunt. Small things had been annoying him, pushing him over the edge. Maybe this was a reaction to all the stress? A coping mechanism? Questions that would be reserved for a later date, of course, as Tubbo tried to figure out how to get Ranboo out his bed so he could finally get some well-deserved rest.
“Look, Ran, either way, you can’t stay here. This is my bed.”
Ranboo whined quietly, wiping away his tears clumsily with loosely curled fists.
“Lay down with Boo?” He mumbled, slightly embarrassed as he pouted.
Tubbo looked taken aback for a second. Sure, he wouldn’t mind the company, and it had been pretty cold with the heating not working as of late, and… maybe it would make Ranboo feel better.
Yeah, Tubbo justified, For Ranboo. It’ll make him feel better.
“Okay, okay, fine. But you can’t wear that. Get into some pyjamas.”
Ranboo nodded, grinning and flapping his hands excitedly as he bolted out the room. The newfound energy baffled Tubbo, and considering the point of them sleeping in the same bed because Ranboo didn’t want to move seemed futile now. But, as previously justified, it seemed like it would comfort Ranboo. Anything to make his ever-worrying friend less anxious and stressed, he supposed.
Ranboo returned shortly, climbing back into his spot under the covers and smiling at Tubbo,
“It’s like a sleepover! We- We gotta watch…. um- scary movies n’ eat snacks!” He gave Tubbo a toothy grin, shuffling closer to him as the shorter sat down next to him.
“Ran, no, it’s bedtime. Maybe tomorrow, okay? If you’re not gonna be quiet, you gotta go back to your own room.” He scolded gently, laying down and petting Ranboo’s hair briefly. He looked dejected; like a sad puppy, but clearly didn’t have the energy to argue.
He babbled quietly to himself for a moment, before suckling on his thumb gently and mumbling a small “Ni’ni’ Tubs…”