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Itty Bitty Scrumbgly. Wrinkly Old Man Faced Baby.

Summary:

Lady Sneasler, when Ingo is first recovering from falling, does not see a difference between Pokemon and humans. Like a cat, she tries to raise her new adopted kit to be able to survive in the world.

Ingo is really, really confused about Sneasler's behavior, but figures this is probably just how Pokemon act. He writes in his journal about it.

Notes:

I am not the first to explore the concept of Sneasler seeing Ingo as her new adopted kit (see: Lady Sneasler's New Ward) or of Ingo writing about his time in Hisui (which I credit inspiration for to Letters Through Time). But, I hope it's a fun story to read nonetheless!

Dehumanization is perhaps not quite the term here for how Sneasler treats and views Ingo: however, due to the similarities, I am tagging for it anyways.

There is no ship here. This is just meant to be a funny fic about Lady Sneasler trying to figure out what pokemon type her new kit is, when he's very much definitely a human. Because she's essentially a giant, very poisonous cat, and cats are cats. Please do not interact if you ship pokemon and humans.

This was supposed to be a oneshot but I wrote 2k+ words and realized i hadnt even gotten to the main concept of the fic (sneasler trying to figure out the typing of her adopted 'sneasel' variant) yet

Chapter Text

Lady Sneasler carried her new kit into her den by his ruff, dropping him on the floor. He’d already gotten the fancy bracelet from the other weird sneasels, which meant something important, but honestly she didn't really care what. But, during his recovery from that nasty fall on the mountain, she’d realized she’d forgotten to do one very important thing.

 

He needed to learn how to fight!

 

Being a Pokemon was a lot of things. And, as a Noble (she internally preened about that), she had a lot of standing in the local community.

 

But, her new adopted little kitten definitely had none of that. He was a new thing, and that meant anything and everything would have no basis for his power, and they’d all want to test him about it. She remembered when she had first evolved and started learning about type matchups and what moves worked best against which Pokemon. 

 

Best to start training him up before he started wandering around!



So, very determinedly, Lady Sneasler placed Ingo on the floor of her cave and copied his weird little hand movements he liked to make so much. She pointed at him with one paw, and pointed down at the floor with the other. 

 

The cave didn't offer much protection on its own. To any pokemon around though, they knew it was her cave, and entering her cave would mean recompense from her. Not her weirdly shaped, kinda wrinkly new kin.

 

She paused before leaving the cave, and ran forward towards Ingo, who’d wrinkled his forehead up and was looking around. She licked his weird little forehead to smooth it out, ignoring the very loud sound he made in surprise, and then she actually turned and left.




Pouncing through the Highlands was very fun. She loved living here, with the brisk air and the rock type pokemon to terrorize. Speaking of which- she spotted a perfect starter battle pokemon hiding in some rock down below, and pounced. The rock broke easily, revealing the sight of a vaguely frightened Geodude, now staring up at her menacing smile.

 

“Sneasler!”

 

With one word, she swiped at it with a False Swipe, leaving it with one HP. The perfect target practice for Ingo!

 

Gently, she leaned forward and picked the pokemon up in her mouth, ignoring the way its arms kept swinging around and essentially just tapping her face. It almost felt like some sort of low-effort massage.

 

Lady Sneasler then took the short route home back to her cave, swinging in. Ingo was now standing and poking at some of the nest material, picking out some shiny rocks. 

 

She wasn't sure why, but kits were always doing weird things, so she figured it was probably just a quirk of his. Maybe he liked the shiny rocks- she could reward him for a battle well done with them, maybe?

 

Sneasler’s arrival was not a quiet one, so he turned to look at her, one paw lifted in hello. He seemed to oddly pause when he noticed what she was carrying though. Was he scared of other pokemon? Hm.

 

She gently dropped the almost-fainted Geodude on the floor, careful not to knock that last health point off of it. It didn't move, and just kept staring at Ingo. Ingo stared back for a moment, before looking to Lady Sneasler.

 

She sighed. Yep, it seemed like her new kit was scared of fighting other pokemon. Wherever he’d been must have done a number on him; the other weird Sneasels definitely weren’t afraid of fighting them! She’d seen the blue haired one tossing Swinub around just the other day.

 

Or… Lady Sneasler squinted at her new charge, noticing he wasn't shaking or shivering, he wasn't doing much of anything. Which meant he wasn't acting scared of the Geodude. Maybe he’d just… Never been in a battle before?

 

This was how her very youngest kits sometimes acted about a new pokemon, ones they didn't realize were pokemon. 

 

Lady Sneasler felt a bit of panic. Was this too much, too fast for her newest little one? She really could've sworn that he looked older than a newborn, but maybe the weird-looking Sneasels aged differently! 

 

Shrieking, she dashed forward and used Rock Smash on the Geodude, instantly knocking it out- and also knocking it out of the cave as well. 

 

For a newborn, even a very, very weak pokemon could be harmful. How had she not considered this! She’d have to be very careful when introducing him to other pokemon, give him a bit of time to grow maybe, and show him what battling was. It was vital to communicating with other pokemon things like intent or where your home was.

 

Ingo watched all of this, forehead getting wrinkly again. Lady Sneasler leaned over to him and licked his forehead again while idly in thought. She’d give him a few days being carried in her basket, then bring back another Geodude, right at one hp, the perfect strength again. And then slowly start finding some stronger pokemon once he got used to those? 

 

And in the meantime, she could- after he had seen her fight a few pokemon, of course- start testing his strength. Most newborns were from litters, and could tussle around with their siblings. She had to remember he didn't have that. It’d be difficult for her to try to recreate that experience, but she didn't want him to be too isolated when he finished growing. 

 

She’d have to make sure to take him over by the other strange Sneasels regularly, too! They all talked very similarly. She presumed they’d be good socialization for him.

 

Tuning back into the real world, she realized that Ingo had given up struggling to get her to stop licking his forehead. She had also, at some point, knocked off his fancy little hat!

 

 It was good that he was starting to accept her, but she'd only rarely seen the strange Sneasels without their various fabrics, and usually only when they were at a hot springs of some sort. Sneasler wasn't sure why they wore them all the time, but they didn't like being without them, she knew.

 

So she used her claws to reach over and pick up his hat, carefully placing it back on his head. He looked right at her and said something in that weird language that the furless Sneasels used. She wasn't around them often enough to figure out what they said totally, only knowing what her own parents had passed down to her, and what words corresponded to which Sneasels. Like Ingo being the name of her new kit. 



Figuring that that was enough excitement for one day, Sneasler picked Ingo up again and placed him on the nest she'd made, then grabbed the bag the other Sneasels had given him. 

 

She struggled opening it with her long claws, but not for long- Ingo reached out and took the bag. She watched him for a moment while he just held the bag, not opening it- she knew he knew how, she had seen him do it before. Why wouldn't he open it now? Had the others been telling him to do it?

 

Sneasler pointed at the bag and chirped. Ingo sighed, which was a confusing reaction, but then he did open the bag, so it worked. She idly wondered if the bags would be so easy to open when his claws hardened.

 

She reached forward to take the bag back to look for his food, but then he reached in and took out some sitrus berries- all on his own! Her feathers trembled in pride and she gently headbutted him, purring. He was figuring things out!

 

Oddly, when she pulled back, he tried to give the berries to her. It was very funny; was it because she'd brought the Geodude back for him earlier? Silly kitten. A very kind and caring kitten, too. 

 

She pushed the berries back towards him, and he made another weird gesture with his arms like he was trying to scare her off, hands open and held wide for a moment. Then he picked up the berries and started putting them back in the bag, which caused her to chirp in alarm again. 

 

Lady Sneasler quickly (and gently) tapped Ingo’s paws with the side of her claws, causing him to drop the berries in surprise. She picked one up in her claws and moved it towards his face.

 

Naturally, as baby Sneasels do not like things in their faces, he tried to move away. However, Sneaslers are very determined, something Lady Sneasler is quite proud of; despite how fussy baby Sneasels can be, she knows it's important they eat regularly, and not just when they decide to. 

 

After a bit of struggling, she gets him to eat a few berries. Then, content, she curls up in the nest next to him, purring. It's been a long day, but she's looking forward to training tomorrow!

 

 




Dear Diary.

 

Lady Sneasler has been behaving weirdly ever since my recovery from the fall. It's as though she does not believe I am capable of doing things that any person can. Irida and the others of the Pearl Clan have told me that she was not often around humans besides her last warden, who passed when she was still quite young- could she have internalized the way they cared for her as a child as just how humans and pokemon interact? She was very insistent on watching me eat, going so far as to try to hand feed me. (I am regretting eating while she was out.)

 

On the topic of Lady Sneasler going out, she has brought me up to her den, which I currently lack the climbing gear to leave. This seems like an oversight, but the other Wardens told me the last Sneasler Warden was able to easily leave whenever they wished, somehow. Perhaps I will be able to convince Sneasler to carry me down to the ground in her basket tomorrow? One can only hope. 

 

Her strange behavior also included bringing a Geodude back to her cave. She seemed to expect me to do something with it- befriend it, maybe? The pokemon seemed very weak, like it had been on the wrong end of a battle, but was not dangerously harmed in any way except, perhaps, it's pride. She didn't let me examine it for long either, before she knocked it out of the cave herself. Was she expressing that she does not like rock types? Did she misinterpret my confusion for fear? 

 

If she did expect me to befriend it, like how people befriend pokemon for use in battle, why would she have kicked it out so fast? She also rushed me afterwards and started grooming my head. I fear I will not be able to wash the Sneasler spit out of my hair, and the phantom texture of it will remain for many lifetimes. 

 

The Wardens told me to expect some odd behavior; pokemon have different ways of viewing our connections to them, from battle partners to leaders with a good cause to family. This sounds true and familiar, as every pokemon and trainer are different. Some do not treat their pokemon as pets but as workers, and some only do the opposite, and it changes how friendly said pokemon is towards them, and how highly they think of them.

 

Sneasler may very well believe me to still be injured, and think it some sacred duty to make sure I heal. Perhaps the Geodude was to test my reflexes, and make sure I could recognize wild pokemon and evade them. Perhaps she expected me to tell her to use some move on it to knock it out, as a bonding exercise.

 

Whatever the case, the event is over with for now. 

 

I did also pick out a few rocks from Sneasler’s nest, to try to make it more comfortable for her. Perhaps she was unaware I have my own sleeping bag, or thought it meant I would like to sleep there, as she has not let me move to take out my sleeping bag to sleep there instead. It's a good thing I thought to pick them out, I suppose. The hay and grasses may be scratchy, but it is endurable with my coat and hat between us. 

 

Tomorrow is another day. I am not expected back at the Pearl Clan for two weeks time, although Irida said herself or one of the other Wardens may stop by from time to time. I hope to be able to set my own camp up beforehand, as otherwise I may have to meet them with straw or with Sneasler spit in my hair.

 

Ingo.