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She ran, harder than perhaps she had ever run in her life. She didn’t really have a destination in mind, but that didn’t matter. She just knew she needed to get out of there, she wouldn’t, no couldn’t let anyone see her like this...not even Han. How would she be able to expect anyone to respect her as a leader if they saw her lose control of her emotions? She was the daughter of Bail Organa for kriff sake...except, really she wasn’t.
And that was the problem.
She felt the branches from the tall evergreen trees scratch her skin, causing her to bleed, but she paid it no mind. She knew nothing would be as painful as what she had just learned.
Vader, Darth Vader was her biological father. His sickening, tainted blood flowed through her veins. The man, no monster who helped burn down the galaxy, eradicate democracy and literally held her back as she watched her home planet, her friends and family needlessly die was/is her father.
‘No,’ she frantically shook her head. ‘No, Luke has to be wrong!’
But she had told him that a part of her always knew, there had always been a soft voice in her head growing up that helped guide her decision making process. Bail had always encouraged her to listen to the voice, but now that voice was screaming a horrible truth and she didn’t want to listen.
‘Stop, please.’ She begged this unseen voice. “Ben, tell me it isn't true…”
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t see the tree root that caught on her foot until she was already falling to the forest floor. She contemplated lying there for the remainder of the night and allowing whatever creatures that lived among the Ewoks to devour her, it seemed preferable to living with the knowledge of her true parentage. But, she knew that wasn’t an option. She had a duty to the Rebellion, to Han and Luke and to the galaxy. There was no time to dwell on personal feelings.
She slowly rose to her knees, her entire body shaking as more tears threatened to fall. She stubbornly shook them off, she hated crying. Her father (her real father) Bail Organa had often worried about her refusal to cry. But, Leia had always told him that if she just took a deep breath she would feel calm again. It had always worked for her, except now every deep breath she took in that oddly silent forest was too eerily similar to whatever breathing apparatus Vader used - no, deep breathing to calm her nerves wasn’t really an option at the moment.
The Shadow of a tree loomed over her and it brought back horrible memories of Vader’s shadow looming over her as he stood in the doorway of her cell. She grabbed her stomach, willing herself not to lose what little food she had recently consumed as she closed her eyes tightly against the memories of his interrogation.
She wondered if he knew, could Vader sense the familial connection? Did he willingly tortured his own daughter?
She shuddered as she remembered how badly Vader had hurt Ben all those years ago on Mapuzo. Or how badly he had hurt Luke on Bespin, It obviously didn’t matter to Vader who he hurt.
“Luke,” She said, softly as her mind drifted from Vader to her brother.
She had felt a connection to him from the moment they met, as he stared at her from behind the Stormtrooper helmet she felt that same voice in her head insisting she trust him. She couldn’t help the somewhat hysterical giggle that escaped as she realized how confused she had been by their bond, at first mistaking it for something akin to romance, though that had never felt right. She remembered literally wiping her mouth off after the kiss she had given him on Hoth, yes it had mostly been for Han’s benefit, but immediately she had felt the wrongness of the act. Even in that moment she knew Luke was connected to her in another way, in a much deeper way.
Her mind drifted to his mission, she just couldn’t understand how he could be so sure that there was anything actually redeemable in Vader. Then again, she couldn’t imagine that there ever could have been something redeemable about him.
“Do you remember your mother, you’re real mother?”
She recalled Luke’s seemingly out of the blue question. She had vague and hazy impressions of a beautiful yet sad woman. Someone who her parents had known and respected and had regaled her with stories about as she was growing up. She was also someone Ben had compared her to on several occasions -
“Princess Leia Organa. You are wise, discerning, kindhearted. These are qualities that came from your mother.”
She closed her eyes and remembered Ben Kenobi’s face, his kind yet sad eyes as he spoke about her mother.
“She was fearless, and stubborn - she was a leader…”
The tears were growing more impatient now, but she still refused to let them fall. Her mind drifted to that day on Mapuzo, the day she had asked Ben a very important question.
“Are you my real father?”
Leia remembered that beyond a vague sense of her mother she remembered a man holding her, his eyes even in her earliest memory were sad. It wasn’t until that day on Mapuzo that Leia realized it had been Obi-Wan, which prompted her to ask him, but the look in his eyes gave her the answer long before his voice caught up to the moment.
“I wish that I could say that I was. But I am not.”
“I still wish that I could say that I was, Princess.” An accented voice came from within the shadows.
“Ben?”
“But as you have just learned, I sadly am not.” Ben Kenobi suddenly appeared in front of her, those same sad eyes staring back at her.
“Ben!”
Leia didn’t care why or how he was there, it didn’t matter to her that he was technically dead, she jumped to her feet and rushed towards him just as she did when she was ten years old. She fell into his arms and despite the fact that she could see through him, he was solid and held her tightly in return.
“I’m sorry, Leia…” his voice was a pained whisper into her long hair. “I should’ve come to you sooner.”
“So, this...this is real?” She asked, reluctantly pulling herself away from his embrace.
“Which part are you referring to exactly?” He asked, sincerely.
She couldn’t stop the laughter as she thought about his question, though eventually the laughs shifted into a gut wrenching sob and she just shook her head and shrugged at the spirit of a man who had come to mean so much to her.
“I knew you were hiding something from me.” She said, though not in an accusatory manner. “It was the truth about him, wasn’t it? Who he is?”
“It was,” Ben confirmed.
“...I don’t…I don’t understand.” Leia stammered, trying to form a coherent sentence. “He’s a monster, how could anyone love a monster?”
“He wasn’t always a monster, Leia.” “He was at one point a very passionate and generous man who loved your mother more than anything else in the galaxy.”
“...you are also passionate and fearless, forthright. And these are gifts from your father.”
“He’s my father, oh gods…Vader. Is. My. Father.” Leia spoke as if her world had started crashing down around her.
Obi-Wan’s face softened as Leia’s face crumbled again in agony, he pulled her into another tight embrace, she continued to sob as she grabbed fistfuls of his ethereal robe.
“Leia,” Obi-Wan said after a moment, once he could sense her sobs slowing down. “You know better than most that it takes more than shared blood to make a family, both of us are living proof of that.”
“...I…I’m Vader’s daughter.”
“No.” Ben’s voice was stern and he forced her to look up at him. “You are Bail Organa’s daughter, Princess of Alderraan. You are not bound by either of your birth parents' fate.”
“I’m not sure that’s true.” She said, sadly. “I sense that my future is going to be forever linked with Vader.”
Obi-Wan nodded. “Few can understand that feeling better than I, Leia. But I learned long ago that you cannot let the fear of that rule your life. Not when you have so much work to do.”
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough.” Leia admitted, pulling away from him again.
Obi-Wan scoffed at her remark. “Leia, I’m not sure I have met anyone stronger than you.”
“He took everything from me, he killed my people, my family!” She nearly spat the words.
The Jedi ghost remained calm as he spoke. “Mine too,”
She looked at him, stunned. “How did you manage to get through it?”
“Well, to be honest Leia, you got me through it.” Ben said, sincerely. “You and Luke.”
“Oh,”
“You seem surprised by that.” Ben quirked an eyebrow upwards in curiosity.
“I was expecting something much more wise, you know like a Jedi, like you the Force helped you through it, or something.” Leia replied with a sheepish shrug of her shoulders.
Ben offered a small but hearty laugh. “Yes, well that too, of course.”
The silence lingered as Leia summoned the courage to ask him the next question.
“Luke thinks he can save Vader, do you think that's even possible?” She asked, clearing her throat in hopes of hiding the tremble in her voice.
“With all my heart I hope so.” Obi-Wan’s voice was soft.
“You love him, even after everything he’s done.” Leia couldn’t help the accusation that crept into her voice.
There wasn’t any hesitation in his response. “Yes,”
Leia eyed the Jedi carefully. “Even after he tried to burn you alive?”
“Well, if we start comparing the pain that he and I have caused each other over the years, we’d be here all day, Princess.” He replied in a remorseful tone.
“I don’t see how YOU, of all people can possibly still hope to save that man’s soul?” Leia shook her head in disbelief.
“Because I have hope.”
“Then you are a better person than I am, I couldn’t imagine having sympathy for a creature like that.” Leia replied, unable to meet his eyes.
“You might surprise yourself one day, my dear.” Obi-Wan said with a half smile. “Love is unpredictable and tends to surprise you in the end.”
Before Leia could respond she heard the distant calling of her name, she realized Han had ignored her request to be left alone, she was both irritated and thankful for that. Leia looked back at Ben’s shimmering form, not ready to leave yet.
“Go, they need you.” He coaxed.
“I...how can I expect them to trust me, I’m the daughter of Darth Vader?” She suddenly felt like she was ten years old again, begging for Ben to rescue her.
Obi-Wan closed the space between them and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Leia, never be afraid of who you are.”
“...Both were exceptional people who bore an exceptional daughter.”
She closed her eyes and nodded, taking a deep breath in an effort to get control of her emotions. She allowed herself to feel her anger before releasing those emotions along with her breath. She was struck then by a wave of peace and clarity, unlike anything she had ever experienced before. She opened her eyes, expecting to see the face of a beloved Jedi Master who she had come to love as an uncle, but instead saw the worried face of Han Solo staring back at her.
“Hey, what do you think you’re doing out here?” Han asked, breathing heavily.
Leia looked up at him, she could see the sheen of sweat on his brow. She realized he had been running to find her, he risked his own safety because he cared. She could also sense Luke through their bond, he was projecting concern and compassion towards her. She realized that to anyone who mattered the blood in her veins was irrelevant.
She offered Han a teasing smile. “Took you long enough to find me, getting slow in your old age, general?”
“Oh, real cute.” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Can we get out of here now? Not that this isn’t a super romantic local, it’s just the bugs are eating me alive.”
Leia smiled and shook her head fondly as she watched Han slap the back of his neck in an effort to kill one of the bugs. Han then took her by the hand to lead her back to the Ewok camp, but Leia hesitated, her focus in the direction she knew Luke had gone to face Vader. She then heard Ben’s voice carried along the wind.
/The Force and I will be with you, Always/
“Hey, you alright?” Han asked, genuinely concerned.
“Yes,” Leia replied with a nod. “I think I am.”
******
The End