Archive of Our Own

Tsukishima crossed his arms, stifling a yawn as he leaned back against the dorm room wall. So maybe this movie didn’t have to be entirely awful. Maybe it was only… bad. Really, really bad. Grimacing, the middle blocker tried his very best not to roll his eyes at the computer screen because okay, seriously though, how many shots of a man running through the airport were actually all that necessary because the blonde was pretty sure he had gotten the picture by now.

Tsukishima hated these parts the most, honestly. The grand confession - he just couldn’t stand it. Every time it was the same, after all: the hero would sprint through somewhere public - always sprinting, because really, what could be more romantic than sweat stains and out-of-breath panting - before telling the heroine he loved her with the kind of certainy in his tone that left her unable to stop herself from grabbing his face and doing whatever desperate mouth-tongue-vacuum thing Hollywood was trying to pass as a kiss these days.

Every time it was the same. The sprint, and then the certainty, and then the end. That easy. Every time.

Except it wasn’t actually all that easy, now was it? Tsukishima frowned, glancing at the person sitting next to him on the bed.

No. The blonde heaved out a loud exhale. No, it isn’t.

“Yamaguchi,” he began. The other boy had turned away from him to hide his face, but Tsukishima could still hear the sniffles. “Seriously?” He had to hold in another sigh. “You’re crying? At this?”

The pinch server stayed silent, his hand quickly darting up to wipe at his eyes. The blonde’s forehead creased.

“You do know this movie is pure shit, right,” he said.

Yamaguchi still wouldn’t turn to look at him. “It’s not that bad,” he mumbled after a long moment passed by in silence.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tsukishima arched an eyebrow. “You don’t count the whole but-how-can-I-fall-in-love-with-a-teddy-bear plotline as pure shit?”

“He turns back into a human by the end, okay?”

“And you think the were-teddy thing makes it any better?”

Yamaguchi didn’t respond, still not turning around, and Tsukishima glanced back at the computer screen. “Just-“ The blonde sighed. “Just stop crying, alright?”

Another sniffle. “I’m not crying.”

“Show me your eyes then.”

“I- I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“They’re, like, busy.”

“With what?” Tsukishima arched an eyebrow. “With tears, or with transforming into a stuffed animal? Because those are the only two options you get.”

Yamaguchi snorted a little, and the tips of Tsukishima’s lips turned upwards into a small smile. Victory.

“There you go,” the blonde said. “See how much better that was? Crying on your birthday is just sorta pathetic, you know.”

“Oh my god.” The pinch server groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Oh my god, you are, like, so not helpful, Tsukki.” He sniffed. “I’m literally so old now. Oh my god.”

Shaking his head, Tsukishima repositioned his back against the wall.“You should be happy, Yamaguchi. Nineteen years old.” He smirked. “One year closer to Hinata’s death. Exciting, no?”

“That isn’t funny, Tsukki.”

“You think eternal peace will be enough to shut him up?”

Yamaguchi dropped his hands from his face to try to shoot the middle blocker a frown, but Tsukishima could see how he had to bite his lip to suppress a grin.

The blonde’s crooked smile grew. “Here’s to hoping.”

Pouting, Yamaguchi crossed his arms as he turned to watch the ending kiss. “Why am I always the one getting existential crises?” he grumbled to himself. “Isn’t it your turn yet?”

Tsukishima scoffed. “If you thought Mr. Teddy Bear Man would be enough to do it for me…”

“Okay well he’s a prince at heart, alright?” The blonde snorted, and Yamaguchi huffed out loudly, gesturing at the computer screen as the heroine smiled against the hero’s lips. “Look, Tsukki, just look. Do you see that? Do you see just how happy they are?”

“Not really.” The middle blocker squinted at the screen. “They’re kinda shit at acting, too.”

“Nineteen, Tsukki, nineteen.” Yamaguchi bit his lip. “I’m already, like, what, a quarter of the way through my life. What if-“ He stopped. “What if nobody ever loves me back? What if I don’t get that? What if I never get to just be that happy?”

Tsukishima paused. Maybe, if he was a character in the kind of movies that ended with airport scenes, this would be his moment. This would be his chance to jump in, to tell Yamaguchi he was wrong, to tell him he couldn’t even comprehend how completely and utterly wrong he was, to tell him-

But this was Yamaguchi, and this was Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi had spent their entire lives trying to make sure Tsukishima was happy, and Tsukishima couldn’t risk screwing all that up. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. This was Yamaguchi, after all.

Instead, the blonde only sucked in a deep breath. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said.

“I’m not though, Tsukki, I’m literally not - people die alone all the time, you know.”

The middle blocker rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to die alone, Yamaguchi.”

“You can’t promise me that.” The pinch server shook his head, his face screwing up. “No, Tsukki, you can’t promise me that I won’t end up all alone, an old carcass rotting away in a house nobody even visits anymore, and oh my god, the mailman is going to be the one to find my body-“

“I’ll find it, okay?” Tsukishima exhaled out loudly. “I’ll find it, and then I’ll drag the mailman in so that they still get the trauma. There. Best of both worlds.”

“You won’t though,” Yamaguchi answered. His voice had gone quiet, his eyes determinedly avoiding the middle blocker’s and his gaze fixed on the screen. “You’ll be busy.”

“With what?”

“With-“ The pinch server gestured vaguely. “With life, Tsukki, because you’ll actually be, like, living, and married, and you’ll have all these little blonde mini Tsukki’s running around being judgey and I’ll be all alone and you’ll be so happy and-“

The blonde arched an eyebrow. “You really think somebody’s gonna want to marry me but not you?”

“Yes!” Yamaguchi threw up his hands. “Yes! Of course I do! I totally would, after-“ He stopped, realizing his mistake. “Oh.” He paused. “I, uh. I didn’t mean that in a weird way, or anything. I just- you’re, like, a catch, you know, and I was only-“

Tsukishima busied himself with adjusting his glasses, pointedly ignoring the heat threatening to creep up the back of his neck. “Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Yeah, okay, I- yeah.” The pinch server looked down, biting his lip. “Okay. Sorry, Tsukki.”

The blonde narrowed his eyes. He shouldn’t do it. He knew he shouldn’t - Yamaguchi would say yes, after all, because this was Yamaguchi, and Yamaguchi always said yes to him, and Tsukishima shouldn’t take advantage of him like this. He couldn’t.

The middle blocker cleared his throat anyways. “Look,” he started. “How about this. If we’re both still single ten years from now, we’ll just- you know.” He gestured towards the computer screen. He was a bad friend. He was a bad, bad friend. “Do the whole romance thing. Together though. A marriage pact, or whatever.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes went wide. “You’re joking.”

“I mean if you’re really that worried about ending up alo-“

“You’re actually joking.”

“I’m just trying to hel-“

“Deal.” Yamaguchi held out his hand, his tone serious, and Tsukishima raised an eyebrow.

“Well that was fast,” he said, smirking.

“Deal, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi raised his hand, and, shaking his head, Tsukishima lifted up his, too. Wow. He really was an asshole, wasn’t he.

“Okay then,” the blonde answered, but before they could shake on it, the pinch server suddenly moved his hand away.

“Wait.” Yamaguchi bit his lip, searching the middle blocker’s eyes intently.“You do know you don’t have to do this though, right? You’re not just, like, being polite or anything, yeah?”

“Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima’s smirk grew. “Literally when have I ever done anything to be polite?”

The pinch server pursed his lips. “Fair enough,” he admitted, and Tsukishima reached up to glasp their hands together.

“It’s a deal then,” the blonde said.

“Yeah.” Yamaguchi’s lips turned upwards, and Tsukishima’s crooked smile widened. Victory. “Yeah. Okay. It’s a deal.”

So this hadn’t exactly been Tsukishima’s first choice.

Frowning, the middle blocker didn’t even bother to try and stop himself from rolling his eyes at the misunderstanding happening on screen. It wasn’t like it was his fault that he was here, after all. He hadn’t exactly gone to the theater to get tickets for this stupid rom-com.

But when he had gotten there only to see that the sci-fi movie he had gone to watch was sold out, the two options he had found himself left with were either to subject himself to this or to spend another hour in traffic driving back home. And honestly, there was only one thing that seemed sadder than spending an evening in this almost empty theater watching a god-awful romance all alone, and that was spending an evening in his completely empty apartment Twitter trolling a god-awful Kageyama all alone, so.

Honestly, the movie wasn’t even that bad. Or well, it was, but it would have at least been a slightly less unpleasant experience if not for the obvious sounds of somebody honest-to-goodness crying behind him.

Tsukishima pursed his lips, re-adjusting his position in the theater’s seat. He had only ever tolerated one person crying at movies, and one person only, except that hadn’t exactly turned out all that well, now had it, and the point was that Tsukishima Kei was simply done with people getting stupidly emotional over stupidly, absolutely non-emotional things.

And especially when it was dumb crap like this. The blonde wrinkled his nose at the screen. For heaven’s sake, the protagonist was an alien masquerading as a pet Chihauhua. What the hell was there to get invested in?

Except apparently, somewhere in between the dog trying to seduce a human manicurist and the so-called action clips of it attempting to get back onto the mother ship, somebody out there had found something to root for, if the sniffles coming from behind him were any indication.

Huffing out loudly, the middle blocker leaned down to reach into his bag. Now this was just getting ridiculous. Tears were something to be deeply suppressed and, if absolutely necessary, shed only when one was crouched in a storage cabinet - or at the very least a bathroom stall - completely hidden away from the rest of the world. But they were most certainly not something to subject random strangers at the local movie theater to, and particularly if they were shed in response to a literal extraterrestrial Chihauhua movie that was somehow claiming to be based off of Pride and Prejudice.

Tsukishima rummaged around to grab the scarf he had shoved into his bag at the beginning of the movie and a random pad of post-it notes he had probably bought a year ago. Then, balancing the pad on his knee, he quickly scrawled a very polite will you kindly shut the fuck up before sticking the top post-it note on the scarf and twisting around in his seat to hand the makeshift handkerchief to the person behind him.

It was only when his hand was outstretched and the person glanced down at him that the middle blocker realized his mistake, that he realized who it was, that he realized that the universe was absolutely, one-hundred-percent, no doubt about it out to get him because there, sitting right behind him, crying actual tears as the flying saucer took off, was the only person who could have possibly made this evening any more pathetic than it already was.

“Long time no see,” Tsukishima somehow managed to sniff before promptly dropping the makeshift handkerchief and note in the lap of the man staring at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes and a face the middle blocker wished he could forget.

Then, quickly turning back around in his seat to face the screen and avoid Yamaguchi Tadashi’s reaction, the blonde shut his eyes and, with as much elegance as he could manage, proceeded to die.

Tsukishima Kei had not been waiting ten years for this.

Or, well. He paused, reconsidering. Waiting wouldn’t be entirely accurate, but okay, fine, so maybe he had been doing something that could be considered remotely in that general vein of action for the aforementioned period of time.

But it wasn’t like he had been pining, or anything pathetic like that. No, no, because for him to have spent the past ten years pining implied that there was a certain hopeless desperation to the whole endeavor, that he hadn’t been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that was simply untrue, since here that light was, this day, November 10, the very one Tsukishima had very much not spent the very long last ten years waiting for. He had simply been- preparing. Strategically. For ten years. In a very much not pathetic, not pining, not waiting sort of way.

Yeah. He had just been- yeah. Doing that.

“Twenty-nine.” Yamaguchi groaned, flopping back down onto their couch with a sigh. “Oh my god, I am literally twenty-nine years old now. I can already, like, feel myself dying, you know.”

Snorting, Tsukishima plopped himself down beside him on the sofa. “You’ve been dying since the moment you were born, Yamaguchi,” he answered as he leaned forward to grab the television’s remote. “You’d think you’d be used to it by now.”

Yamaguchi huffed out loudly. “You don’t get it though, Tsukki. You don’t understand what it’s like.”

“I am literally older than you.”

“Oh my god,” Yamaguchi moaned. “Where did the time go? Who took it? Where did all of those years just-“ he gestured vaguely at the air with his hands, ”poof off to?”

“A very evil place that was created with the sole purpose of making you unhappy.” The blonde nodded at the television screen. “Now what do you wanna watch, birthday boy?”

“Whatever you want,” Yamaguchi answered, rubbing his eyes. “Just not a romance. Please.”

“Really?” Tsukishima arched an eyebrow. “You, Yamaguchi Tadashi, for the first time in twenty-nine years, don’t want to use your birthday as a prime opportunity to guilt me into watching a romance?”

“Seriously, Tsukki? Seriously? I was just dumped, in case you’ve forgotten.” He hadn’t - of course he hadn’t - but the blonde didn’t jump in to correct Yamaguchi. Instead, he only watched as the pinch server curled further into their apartment sofa’s cushions. “I’m not really in the mood for crying at another dumb movie on my even dumber birthday.”

“But the tears are a tradition, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima answered, his eyes wide with faux-innocence. Pouting, Yamaguchi grabbed a pillow to smack his shoulder with it, and the blonde snickered. “Oh come on. You’re just single, Yamaguchi. It’s not the end of the world.”

“No,” the pinch server countered, “but now I’m twenty-nine and single. You wouldn’t-” His expression went unreadable, and he turned his face away. “You just wouldn’t get it, Tsukki.”

“Why not?”

“Because.” Yamaguchi’s voice had gone quieter. “You’ve never, you know, said you even wanted any of that lovey dovey stuff with anyone. Which is fine for you, obviously, but I- whatever. You’ll never be into anybody, and I get that, so it’s fine. You don’t have to- yeah.”

Tsukishima stayed silent for a prolonged second. This was it. This was the moment. This was what he had - not - spent the last ten years waiting for.

Carefully, as if moving too fast would cause the whole apartment to shatter, the blonde sucked in a breath. “When did I ever say I’ll never be into anybody?” he asked, deliberately keeping his tone casual.

Yamaguchi’s head immediately whipped around to stare at him. “You-“ His eyes were wide, the expression in them unreadable. “You… really? You want that? The whole romance, dating, marriage thing - all of that?”

The blonde shrugged. “I wouldn’t be opposed,” he answered.

The pinch server furrowed his eyebrows, biting his lip as he studied Tsukishima’s face carefully. The middle blocker made sure to keep his expression composed. This was it. This was the moment. The light at the end of the tunnel.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi began, slowly. He was playing with his hands, his gaze darting towards the television to avoid the blonde’s eyes. “Do you, uh, remember that movie we watched on my birthday once? The one where the guy turns into a teddy bear?”

The tips of Tsukishima’s lips turned upwards. “I remember you crying.”

“Yeah, I-“ Yamaguchi laughed nervously, “yeah. I remember that, too.” He paused. “Um.” Sucking in a deep breath, he started wringing out his hands. “So. I know this might sound weird, and I’m sorry if it seems like it’s coming out of nowhere, because I guess maybe it kinda is, but, uh, do you remember our… deal, by any chance? The deal we made? That night? Do you remember that?”

Tsukishima kept his breathing steady, trying not to focus on the thumping in his chest. “Yeah,” he answered. “Yeah. I remember.”

Yamaguchi chewed on his bottom lip. “Really?” he said.

Tsukishima nodded, and Yamaguchi swallowed hard. “Oh,” the pinch server began. “Um.” His face was beet red. “I, uh. I didn’t really think you would. Okay. Well. I guess I don’t want this to be a whole uncomfortable thing, but-“

Except he didn’t get to finish his sentence because just then a loud ringtone cut through the air. Yamaguchi’s eyes darted to where his vibrating phone sat on their apartment’s coffee table.

“Uh,” he said. “Sorry, Tsukki, I can just turn that-“

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” The middle blocker broke their eye contact, rubbing at the back of his neck. Shit. He could feel heat creeping up it. “You can get it. It’s fine.”

“Really?” Yamaguchi paused. “Now?” Tsukishima nodded, and the pinch server only hesitated a moment longer before starting to get up from the couch. “Okay then,” he said, grabbing the phone, “just, like, give me a sec, alright? Don’t move. I’ll be back. I’ll be- yeah.”

Tsukishima nodded again, waiting until he could hear footsteps fade away and the door to Yamaguchi’s room thud shut before dropping his face into his hands. Good god was this embarrassing. He’d have thought that ten years would be enough to prepare himself for this kind of crap, really.

Closing his eyes, Tsukishima quickly ran through their conversation in his mind. These had all been good signs, right? Yamaguchi had seemed nervous, but then again, Yamaguchi usually seemed nervous, so.

I don’t want this to be a whole uncomfortable thing. The blonde furrowed his eyebrows. Okay. So either Yamaguchi was nervous about telling him he wanted to go through with the deal, or he was nervous about calling the whole thing off. Which… great, was a supremely unhelpful insight. Thank you, brain.

Exhaling out loudly, Tsukishima tried to keep his ears from turning beet red. This whole thing could not be good for his blood pressure. What had he even been thinking, honestly - there was no way this worked, not after ten years; for goodness sake, they had been in college when they made the pact, they had been kids, practically, and who knew what-

“Um.” Tsukishima’s head immediately whipped up as he turned to find Yamaguchi standing outside the door to his bedroom, biting his lip. “So. She, uh, she wants to get back together.”

Tsukishima froze. “Oh,” he said.

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi answered. He took deep breath. “Yeah.”

Their apartment was quiet for a long moment. Clearing his throat, Yamaguchi started again.

“She says she’s okay with taking things slower this time,” he said. “She’s says it’s okay that I’m not quite there where she’s at right now. She says she’ll wait.”

“Oh,” Tsukishima repeated. He couldn’t even bring himself to care about how dumb he must sound. “Well.” Fuck. “Congrats then.”

Yamaguchi’s forehead creased, his eyes watching Tsukishima carefully. “What do you mean?”

“This is what you wanted, no?” The blonde raised an eyebrow. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. “To be un-dumped on your birthday, I mean.”

Yamaguchi’s gaze remained trained on Tsukishima’s face, his tone unreadable. “So you think I should get back together with her,” he finished.

The middle blocker’s breath caught. “Were you not planning to?”

“I’m not not planning to; I’m just-“ Yamaguchi sucked in a deep breath. “I’m just asking what you think I should do, Tsukki.”

You should leave her and love me, the middle blocker’s mind finished. You should just leave her and love me and love me and love me-

But he couldn’t say that, because this was Yamaguchi, and this was Tsukishima, and Tsukishima knew that Yamaguchi would say yes, because this was Yamaguchi, after all, and this was Tsukishima, unfortunately enough, and Yamaguchi always said yes to him, always said yes to Tsukishima, and the middle blocker couldn’t take advantage of him like that. He simply couldn’t.

“You should do what you want to do,” Tsukishima’s mouth supplied instead. You should do what you want to do and you should want to love me. “It’s your relationship.” It’s yours, it’s yours, it’s always been yours-

“Really?” Something in Yamaguchi’s tone changed. “So you don’t have any opinions then?”

“Why?” Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. Don’t hope. “You don’t seem all that excited, Yamaguchi.”

“I just-“ The pinch server stopped, looking down at his feet. “Well I don’t know,” he mumbled, his voice going quieter. “I guess I just thought- sorry, Tsukki, it’s stupid, probably, and I know I’m most likely just overthinking this, but I kinda thought that, you know, since you remembered that whole deal thing we made, that maybe you would, like, have an issue. With me. Getting back with her.” He still wouldn’t look up to meet Tsukishima’s eyes. “I don’t know.”

Oh my god. The blonde could almost laugh. He might even have, had his throat been not constricting and oh my god because of course, of course this was happening, of course Yamaguchi would hold himself back from being happy just to keep Tsukishima company, because of course Yamaguchi, being the best fucking friend on the whole entire planet, had spent their entire lives putting Tsukishima first and of course now, now, when it mattered the most, the middle blocker couldn’t even get himself to be the type of selfish asshole who would let him.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima said, like the dumbest non-dickhead he had now for some godforsaken reason decided to be. “Don’t be an idiot. That was ten years ago - we were just kids. We didn’t even know what we were saying.”

“Oh.” Yamaguchi exhaled, his eyes closing. “Oh, yeah, right. We didn’t even- yeah. We didn’t even know.” Shaking his head, he sucked in a large breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to- sorry, Tsukki. Wasn’t trying to make things awkward.”

“You didn’t.” Tsukishima forced his lips upwards into a small smile. “Now go. Get the girl. Do all that gross grand confession shit. Just remember to not turn into a teddy bear, alright? I’m already surrounded by enough people with stuffing in place of actual brains.”

Yamaguchi laughed, but it didn’t sound entirely right. “Okay,” he said, turning around to walk back into his bedroom. “Okay. I’ll try my best.”

“You better,” Tsukishima replied. He watched Yamaguchi shut the door behind him and all the blonde could do was stare, like the goddamn self-sabotager he was and why the fuck couldn’t he just be a bit more self-centered and greedy and willing to completely throw Yamaguchi’s life away for his benefit.

I’m such a fucking idiot, the middle blocker thought, scowling as he turned back to the television. His frown only deepened when he saw the movie that had been automatically selected. He was about to pick another one, but then he stopped, the remote control hovering in his hand.

Good god. Sighing, he leaned back and readied himself. Why do even I do this anymore, Tsukishima Kei wondered, not for the first time, if he was being completely honest, as he pressed the play button and the rom-com started.

Tsukishima had tried his very best to avoid this. He hadn’t said a word for the entire rest of the movie, had stayed in his seat long after the ending credits had finished, had done his peak cowarding - which was actually quite the impressive feat, seeing as the middle blocker considered himself to be a pretty accomplished coward, all things considered.

But even so, despite all of his rampant expertise, the universe had, for some strange, sadistic reason, decided to hate him just enough today for Yamaguchi to still be standing outside the theater’s exit in the lobby when he left.

“Oh.” The pinch server looked up, shooting the blonde a nervous smile. “You’re out. Hey.”

Tsukishima stopped, his face carefully arranged into a neutral expression. “Yeah,” he answered. “Hey.”

It was silent for a long moment between them. Then, clearing his throat, Yamaguchi held out the blonde’s scarf. “Here,” he said. “Nice note, by the way. Very polite.”

“Thanks.” Tsukishima didn’t move to take it back. “Nice crying.”

Flushing, Yamaguchi glanced down at his feet. “It was based off of Pride and Prejudice, okay?” he mumbled.

“Seriously?” The middle blocker arched an eyebrow. “That’s your best excuse?”

The pinch server only shrugged in response, and Tsukishima scoffed. “Yamaguchi,” he said.

“What?” Yamaguchi dropped his arm, fiddling with the scarf in his hands. “It’s respectable, alright?”

“Literally every romance on this planet claims to be based off of Pride and Prejudice, but that doesn’t exactly make an alien in the body of a yappy dog any sort of Mr. Darcy.”

“It was sad.”

“It was stupid.”

“Yeah well you were watching it too, okay?” The pinch server huffed out loudly before holding the scarf back out towards Tsukishima. “Look, I just wanted to give you back your scarf, alright? Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Keep it.” Tsukishima crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “You clearly have more use for it than I do.”

Laughing slightly, Yamaguchi dropped his hand once again. “Yeah.” He glanced down. “Yeah, well. Guess I can’t argue with you there.” He paused before sucking in a deep breath. “Sorry about the crying, by the way. I didn’t know you’d be-“

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I know, I know, I’m just- sorry, I suppose.” Yamaguchi snorted. “A grown man, crying in a theater - pretty stupid, isn’t it?“

“I’ve seen worse.” Tsukishima shrugged. “Just watched a Chihahua make out with a woman, actually.”

Yamaguchi smiled, and the middle blocker let the corner of his mouth turn up into a little smirk.

“Okay that was pretty bad,” the pinch server admitted, glancing back up into Tsukishima’s eyes.

“Really?” The blonde raised an eyebrow. “Only pretty bad?”

“The movie was still emotional though, alright?”

“Yeah, sure, if that emotion is disgust.”

Yamaguchi’s smile grew. “Oh come on, Tsu-“ He stopped, and Tsukishima looked away. Clearing his throat, Yamaguchi gestured towards the lobby’s door. “Sorry, uh, I should probably go. Gotta start home before it gets too dark out.”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima was not going to be able to stop himself saying it. He really needed to fix that. “Don’t want your girlfriend to get too worried.”

Yamaguchi, however, only shot him another sheepish smile. “Sorry,” he said again, turning around. “Good- um. Good seeing you again though. “

“You too.” Tsukishima watched Yamaguchi start to walk away. He shouldn’t do this. He absolutely should not do this.

Oh boy. Screwing his eyes shut, the middle blocker let out a loud exhale.

“Yamaguchi,” he said, opening his eyes back up again, because if the universe had decided to hate him today, well then screw it, he could choose to hate himself a little, too. “Wait.”

Tsukishima scowled down at his water bottle, yanking the bottom of his Sendai Frogs jersey up to wipe the sweat off his forehead as he plopped down on their team’s locker room bench.

“Oi.” The middle blocker glanced up to see Kyoutani frowning down at him. “What’s gotten into you today? Those blocks were for shit.”

“Wow.” Tsukishima shot the spiker a fake smile. “Real eloquent, Kyoutani.”

“Fine.” Dropping down onto the bench beside him, Kyoutani passed the blonde a towel. “Your blocks sucked ass. That any better?”

“No, actually. It really wasn’t.” Tsukishima took the towel from his teammate’s hand anyways though, glancing down at the ground. “Thanks,” he muttered.

“Whatever.” Kyoutani crossed his arms, his eyebrows furrowed. “So what,” he started, “your little boyfriend forget to kiss you this morning or something? ‘Cause that practice was really just pathetic.”

The blonde rolled his eyes. “Yamaguchi is literally dating somebody, you know.”

“Yeah. I know. You.”

“No, not me. A girl. You’ve met her.”

“Oh.” Kyoutani paused. “She’s the stupid one, right?”

“Only slightly.”

“You for real?” The spiker scoffed. “We both know you gotta be more than slightly stupid to date Yamaguchi.”

“Hey.” Tsukishima looked up to shoot Kyoutani a glare. “Watch your mouth.”

“Just saying.” The spiker shrugged. “You’d have to be pretty fucking dumb to want to date him when he’s literally your little boyfriend.”

“Again. Not my boyfriend.”

“Tsukishima. You’ve been living together since college.”

“So?”

Kyoutani simply blinked at him. “That’s ten years,” he said. “You’ve been living together for ten years.”

“And? We’re just roommates.”

“You come to practice in his shirts.”

“He’s got good taste.”

“He makes you lunch.”

“He’s a nice guy.”

“Every day. He makes you lunch every goddamn day.”

“Like I said, a very, very nice guy. Look-“ Tsukishima crossed his arms. “I really do not need your advice on this.”

“This isn’t even advice though,” Kyoutani grumbled. “This is just, like, basic comprehension.”

Sighing, the blonde rolled his eyes. “You don’t get it, alright? This is just Yamaguchi. This is what he’s always been like. He always- we’ve known each other forever, okay, and so he’s just always put me first, you know?”

“Yeah.” Kyoutani gestured with his hands. “Because he’s your little boyfriend.”

“Don’t be a fool. He’s always been like this.”

“Sounds like he’s been your little boyfriend for a while then. I mean- come on, Tsukishima.” Kyoutani’s forehead creased. “You’re not dumb. You know how the guy looks at you. If you were to say something-“

“He would say yes,” Tsukishima interrupted. “Yes, I know, he would say yes, even if he didn’t feel the same, because he’s just that fucking selfless and he’s the only one who’s been able to put up with me for this long and I know that he looks at me with stars in his eyes, and I know it’s because of the fact that for some strange, unfathomable reason he’s decided that he wants me to be his best friend. But I also know that he just got back together with his slightly stupid girlfriend and I’m not-“ The blonde heaved out a loud exhale. “Look, I’m not fucking that all up just to make him feel guilty, okay? I’m not doing it. I’m not doing that to him. No, I’m not, because I’m just going to get over him, and then I’m going to tell him that he can move out, and then he’s going to be able put himself first, finally, and I have a plan, see, and it is going work, so will you just drop this? Please?”

Kyoutani only stared at him a moment longer before relenting. “Fine,” he muttered. “Fine. Consider it dropped.”

“Thank you.” Tsukishima closed his eyes.

“No more shitty blocks though, alright?” Kyoutani kicked out his feet, his voice a grumble. “They’re seriously fucking boring.”

“Wow.” The blonde didn’t bother to open up his eyes. “You really are good at this whole pep talk thing, you know.”

“Oh shut up. I’m not your goddamn mother.”

“Aw.” Pouting, the blonde looked up into Kyoutani’s eyes with the most innocent expression he could muster. “But does that mean I have to stop calling Yahaba daddy then?”

“Oi. Watch it,” the spiker growled.

“I thought you weren’t my mother though.”

“You do know you’re a little bitch, right?”

“I have been notified, yes.”

“Good.” Kyoutani paused. “Hey. This wasn’t my idea, but-“

“Already off to a promising start.”

“Shut the hell up.” The spiker shot him a glare, but Tsukishima only arched an eyebrow in return.

“The idea, Kyoutani?” he prompted.

Scowling, the spiker started again. “Right. Fine. Yahaba wants to go on a stupid double date again. He says he misses your little boyfriend or something.”

“Can’t be a double date if Yamaguchi and I aren’t dating.”

“Whatever. You in?”

“Sure.” The blonde smirked. “You know I would never pass up on an opportunity to watch you be all angrily lovey dovey.”

Kyoutani pulled himself off of the bench to flip Tsukishima off as he left the locker room. “Hate you.”

“Hate you, too.” The middle blocker paused. “Mommy.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“Sounds kinky.”

“You little bitch-”

“Only for you.”

“Yes?” Yamaguchi said as he stopped to turn around and face Tsukishima. The middle blocker, meanwhile, only sucked in a deep breath, cursing himself internally. Crap. This really was a bad idea, wasn’t it.

“You need a ride home?” Tsukishima found himself asking anyways, because it was dark out and Yamaguchi was a shit driver and the blonde had never hated his dumb, stupid mouth more.

“Oh.” The pinch server’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, it’s fine. You don’t have to.”

“It’s alright.” Tsukishima shrugged. “Not like I have any other plans for tonight.”

“Seriously, it’s okay, I can-“

“Drive yourself? Since when?” The blonde smirked, arching an eyebrow. “We both know you’re a shit driver, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi laughed a little, but he was fiddling with his fingers nervously. “Really, thanks for the offer, but I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you-“

“You won’t.” Pulling out his phone, Tsukishima opened up the GPS app. “Just send me the address, and I’ll-“

The pinch server screwed his eyes shut. “I’m not letting you drive me home, okay?” he blurted out, his face flushing red.

Tsukishima paused to stare at Yamaguchi’s expression for a long moment in silence. “Okay,” he answered slowly, furrowing his eyebrows. “If you really don’t want me to then, I guess.”

“It’s just-“ The pinch server huffed out loudly. “I know what you’re doing, alright?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima replied, slipping the phone back into his pocket. “I think the whole offering to drive you home thing has been pretty well established at this point.”

“No, no, not that, I know- look.” Yamaguchi tried to shoot the blonde a smile, but it seemed forced. “Thanks for the offer; I really do appreciate it. But I can take care of myself, yeah?”

The middle blocker scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Uhuh.” He paused. He shouldn’t say it. He really shouldn’t. “And you sure you’re not just trying to hide the fact the girlfriend wants to lock you up in a basement dungeon or something?”

And oh, great. Would you look at that. He had simply gone and said it, like the godforsaken idiot he was.

“Wha-“ Yamaguchi sighed. “What are you even talking about?”

Tsukishima really needed to shut himself up. “The girlfriend,” he said anyways, “and the tight leash she’s apparently been keeping you on-“

“Oh my god.” Yamaguchi covered his face with his palms, groaning. “Oh my god. Are you being for real right now?”

“What, you not even allowed to have friends anymore-“

Yamaguchi dropped his hands to gesture wildly with his arms, his cheeks red. “It’s you, okay? The problem is you. And I know that you’re only trying to be nice or whatever, but I really, really can not take being friends with you right now, so there. Congrats. I said it. You made me say it. I-” Exhaling out heavily, the pinch server glanced down at his feet. “Sorry. I didn’t mean-“

“Shut up, Yamaguchi. You meant it.” Tsukishima picked a point somewhere beyond Yamaguchi’s head to fix his gaze upon as he carefully arranged his face into a stoney expression. Shit. The universe was really not looking out for him today, now was it.

The pinch server didn’t respond for a long moment, only playing with his fingers nervously. “I just need some more time, okay?” he said, his voice quiet. “I’ll come around eventually, but for now I just need some more, uh. Some more space, you know?”

“Sure.” The blonde refused to look into Yamaguchi’s eyes. His voice was icy. “Take your time.”

“Yeah, well.” Coughing loudly, the pinch server quickly checked his watch. “Okay then.” He laughed awkwardly. “Guess that’s my cue. Nice to, uh, run into you again. Um. Thanks for the scarf.”

Tsukishima turned around. He didn’t want to have to watch Yamaguchi walk away again. “I forgot something at my seat,” he replied instead, striding back into the theater before Yamaguchi had the chance to respond.

Well. The middle blocker stopped to drop his forehead against the theater’s wall, scoffing slightly to himself. Guess an evening cyber-trolling Kageyama would have been less sad, after all.

“Good morning, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi chirped, glancing back from the kitchen counter to shoot a smile at Tsukishima as he padded out of his bedroom. “How’d you sleep?”

Rubbing his eyes, Tsukishima plopped down at their table. “Like a small child haunted by the demons of their ancestors,” he muttered. Yamaguchi snickered, and the blonde nodded towards the pinch server’s hands. “What are you making?”

“Just some breakfast.” Yamaguchi slid a plate of eggs towards Tsukishima before returning to his cutting board. “What do you want for lunch, by the way? I was thinking about trying out this new type of salad Hinata was telling me about the other day, but Yahaba mentioned something about the coach wanting you all to eat a lot of protein now, so.”

The middle blocker, however, only narrowed his eyes, watching Yamaguchi chop some tomatoes carefully. “You do know you don’t have to make me lunch every day, right?” he said.

“Hm?” The pinch server tilted his head, his forehead creasing. He paused. “But I’ve always made you food, Tsukki.”

“I know, I know. I just mean-“ Tsukishima gestured vaguely at the air. “You don’t have to. If you don’t want to.”

“Why?” Yamaguchi’s chopping stopped. “Do you not want the salad? Because I can make something else-“

“Nevermind.” Shaking his head, Tsukishima turned his attention back to the eggs. “Forget it. It’s nothing. Kyoutani has just been filling my head with weird shit - that’s all.”

“Oh.” The pinch server bit his lip. “Why? What has he been saying?”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s just being stupid.”

“Okay.” Yamaguchi still didn’t return to the cutting board, however, and Tsukishima heaved out a loud exhale.

“It’s not important, alright? He just-“ The blonde looked up from his food to watch the pinch server’s reaction carefully. “He just keeps on calling you my little boyfriend.”

Yamaguchi’s skin turned pale. “Oh.” He looked down at the knife in his hands. “Um.”

Tsukishima frowned. Oh. Great. Now he had gone and made Yamaguchi uncomfortable. Squaring his jaw, the blonde turned back to his breakfast and resolved to never listen to Kyoutani ever again. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “It’s nothing, really. Only dumb crap like that.”

“Oh.” Yamaguchi laughed a little, but he still sounded off. “Oh, okay. Right. Dumb. Yeah.”

Their apartment descended into an awkward quiet, and, after waiting a moment, the middle blocker cleared his throat. “So,” he started. “How’s the whole girlfriend thing going?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that, the girlfriend thing, yeah, that- that’s going good, Tsukki, thanks.” Yamaguchi quickly returned to his cutting. “Yeah, we’re doing good. Mhm.”

“Great.” Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, choosing to not think about the painful thing twisting in his chest. “Still no signs of teddy bear transformation, right?”

Yamaguchi barked out a small laugh. “No, no, not yet. I’ll let you know though if anything changes.” He sucked in a deep breath, his voice decidedly casual. “But how about you, Tsukki? Have you, uh, met anybody yet?”

Snorting, the blonde shook his head. “No. Why would I, after all?” A corner of his lips tilted upwards into the most natural smirk he could muster. “Apparently I’ve already got myself a little boyfriend, after all.”

Yamaguchi’s expression turned pained, and the middle blocker pinched himself underneath the table. Shit. That was right, Tsukishima wasn’t supposed to be okay with things being like this, with Yamaguchi always saying yes, because Yamaguchi couldn’t be happy like this, couldn’t be happy with Tsukishima, and Tsukishima wasn’t supposed to be pulling crap like this, because what he was supposed to be doing was getting to a place where he could at least pretend to be fine enough on his own that Yamaguchi didn’t have to stay.

Nice going, Kei. This whole owning a mouth thing really was a lot more trouble than it was worth, wasn’t it. “The salad sounds good, by the way,” Tsukishima added, trying to sound as normal as possible.

“Sorry?”

“The salad. For lunch.” He nodded, stabbing some eggs with his fork. “It sounds good.”

“Oh. Okay.” Smiling a little, Yamaguchi returned to his work. “Alright. Salad it is then.”

“Perfect,” Tsukishima replied, swallowing. Kyoutani was so dead. Kyoutani was so, so dead. “Perfect.”

Tsukishima wasn’t sure how long he stayed inside the theater. All he knew was that he made certain this time to wait it out in there long enough so that there was absolutely no chance of him running into Yamaguchi again back in the lobby.

Breathing in deeply, the middle blocker pushed himself off of the wall. Okay. Time to go home and troll Kageyama on Twitter then.

He stepped back out of the theater’s exit, quickly scanning the almost empty lobby for a familiar cowlick before striding towards the bathroom. He just needed to splash his face with cold water, something to get himself to wake up and snap out of whatever pity fest he had found himself in. And then he would go home, and re-slip into his pity fest, but in his pajamas this time, so even more pathetic, and maybe, if he was feeling up to it, he might even pick a fight with somebody who was too earnest to lie about their identity on Reddit. Make a night out of the whole thing.

Honestly, the middle blocker didn’t even hear the noises until after he had already turned off the faucet. It wasn’t until he was wiping his hands with a paper towel that he actually noticed them, coming from behind him, like the universe’s personal middle finger, tied with a bow and sent with gift wrapper.

Fuck.

Tsukishima froze, closing his eyes.

No.

Just no.

This couldn’t be happening, not again.

Slowly, he forced himself to open his eyes back up again.

Fuck me.

The middle blocker only let himself spare one last longing glance towards the door before turning back to face the stall the crying was coming from. “Yamaguchi?” he tried, holding his breath.

For a long moment, the bathroom was silent.

Then, quietly: “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima heaved out a loud exhale as he leaned against the sink. “Yeah, trust me. I know.”

They fell into a prolonged quiet, the middle blocker only staring up at the ceiling with murderous intent in his eyes because okay, seriously though, it wasn’t like he had fucked the universe’s daughter or anything so why was it insisting upon being such a fucking bitch.

“So you gonna leave the stall,” he started, “or…”

Yamaguchi’s reply was immediate. “No,” he said.

“No?”

“No.”

“Alright.” Tsukishima glanced down at his feet. “Would be it safe to assume that that’s a no then?”

“Yes.”

“So you’re not just saying no?”

“No.”

“Okay but does that mean no, you aren’t, or no, you are?”A snort was quickly muffled from within the stalls, and Tsukishima let the corners of his lips turn upwards a bit. “Just trying to clarify. I’m getting a lot of mixed signals here, Yamaguchi.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t- you know.” A deep breath. “You can just go. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Yamaguchi.”

“Yeah?”

“You are literally crying in a public restroom. I do not think there is a more universal sign for I-am-not-okay.”

Another aborted laugh, and Tsukishima could feel his smirk grow. “Hey.” He tried to make his voice quieter. “You can come out, you know. I won’t judge.”

“Seriously?” There was some rustling from within the stall. “You are literally always judging, Tsukki.”

Tsukki. The blonde had to actively stop his mouth from widening into something that might enter the territory of an actual smile. “Yeah well it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” He raised an eyebrow. “But hey, glad to see that at least the scarf came in handy.”

“Yeah.” Yamaguchi paused. “Sorry, Tsukki,” he murmured.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“No, actually though, I’m genuinely sorry. I was rude earlier, and you were just trying to be nice, and-“

Tsukishima really did not want to be talking about this right now. “You’re not ready. Whatever. I get it.”

“But now you’ve had to deal with me crying twice today, and you probably don’t want to even be here right now, and I’m sorry, and-“

Tsukishima scoffed. “Actually, believe it or not, there is literally nothing better I could be doing right now, so.”

“Please.” A snort. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Tsukki.”

“I wish I was.” Tsukishima pushed himself up to sit on the sink’s counter and rest the back of his head against the mirror. “If I wasn’t here, I’d be sitting in the apartment, alone, making fake accounts to troll the Adlers on Twitter. So really, trust me when I tell you that this is definitely the better option.”

Yamaguchi was silent for a long moment. “Seriously, Tsukki?” he said finally. “Seriously?”

“Yup.”

“The Adlers though?”

“Uhuh.”

“Actually?”

“Actually.”

He paused. “But Oikawa is so much more fun to troll.”

Tsukishima scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Have you even seen Kageyama’s face?” he said.

“Well have you seen Oikawa’s?” Yamaguchi countered.

“Yeah, I have. The pretty boy is pretty hard to forget.”

There was a long pause, and the blonde could almost see the pinch server frowning. “He’s not that pretty,” Yamaguchi grumbled.

“Oh come on.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “He’s literally god-like.”

“By, like, ugly standards, maybe.”

“By any standards, Yamaguchi. Any.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“I’m really not though. Oikawa being pretty is as close to an objective fact of nature as the human race is ever going to get.”

“Yeah, well-“ A loud huff. “Science is a social construct, anyways.”

“You literally could not be more wrong.”

“Says the guy who finds Oikawa Tooru attractive. What’s so great about him, anyways?” The pinch server paused, his voice getting quieter. “Other than the whole not crying twice a day in public thing. If we set aside that.”

Tsukishima pursed his lips. “Shut up, Yamaguchi. I already told you I don’t mind waiting here.”

“Yeah, but-” He stopped.

“But what?” the blonde prompted.

“Just- but.” A sigh. “Tsukki, I legit just told you that I can’t be friends with you right now.”

Oh. The middle blocker looked down at his hands, frowning. Right.

“Do you want me to leave then?” he asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.

Yamaguchi was silent.

The blonde waited for another moment before taking a deep breath. “Well alright,” he said, hopping down from his perch on the sink. “Message received.”

Yamaguchi still didn’t answer.

Turning around, Tsukishima was just about to go when he heard some rustling coming from the stall.

“Wait,” the pinch server said, and the middle blocker stopped.

“Yeah?” he answered, not even daring to inhale.

It was quiet for a long moment before Yamaguchi responded. “Nothing,” he breathed out finally, and Tsukishima could have sworn it was the sound of a black hole opening. “Nothing.”

“Okay.” Tsukishima tried not to frown. “Bye.”

And then he strode right out the bathroom door, refusing to let himself glance back at the stall and acknowledge the sniffles coming from behind him.

“Hey. Kentarou.” Frowning, Yahaba snapped his fingers in front of where the spiker had slumped back on the bench beside him. “Stop being a pissy little baby and just eat your damn lunch.”

Kyoutani scowled, but he started to unwrap the sandwich anyways. “Parks are dumb,” he grumbled.

“Yeah.” Yahaba rolled his eyes. “I know.”

“And stupid.”

“Mhm.”

“And filled with annoying people doing annoying things, and how come we had to do this here-“

“So,” Yahaba interrupted, turning forward to smile at where Tsukishima and Yamaguchi sat across from them on the other side of the picnic table. “How have you two been doing?”

“Better than the pissy little baby, it seems,” the middle blocker answered, his smirk growing.

“Shut the hell up, blondie,” the spiker muttered.

“You literally bleached your hair blonde.”

“And?” Kyoutani glowered at him. “We got a problem, vampire boy?”

Elbowing the spiker in the side, Yahaba quickly cut in and cleared his throat. “What about you, Yamaguchi?” he asked. “How are you doing?”

“Good, actually.” Yamaguchi smiled back at the setter. “I’m doing good.”

“Oh yeah?” Kyoutani narrowed his eyes, his mouth full. “How’s the girlfriend?

Yahaba frowned at him. “Kentarou. Don’t talk while you’re still chewing. It’s bad manners and you’re going to choke.”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear you.”

“Really? Because you literally just did it again.”

“Fine.” Scowling, Kyoutani swallowed. “How’s the girlfriend?” he repeated. “Heard she’s mega stupid.”

Yahaba sighed, and Yamaguchi turned to look at Tsukishima, who was glaring hard at his teammate. “I only said slightly, for the record,” the middle blocker sniffed, and Kyoutani scoffed.

“Really?” he muttered to himself. “’Cause she sounds dumb as rocks to me.”

“Kentarou, you’re being rude.” Yahaba nudged the spiker with his shoulder. “Apologize to Yamaguchi.” When Kyoutani stayed silent, Yahaba frowned. “Ken,” he warned.

Huffing out loudly, the spiker turned to face the pinch server. “Sorry, but you’re dating an idiot, Yamaguchi, and you’re not as dumb as her and you could do better.” Yahaba nudged him again, and Kyoutani paused. “Sorry though, I guess,” he added, his voice a grumble.

“What Kentarou means to say,” the setter continued, “is that, as your friends, we just want to make sure that you are as happy as you can be, Yamaguchi. Now isn’t that right, Kentarou?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kyoutani took another bite of his sandwich. “What he said.”

“God.” Shaking his head, Yahaba wrapped his arm around the spiker’s shoulders to pull him in and press a kiss to the top of his head. “You are so hopeless.”

“Whatever,” Kyoutani muttered, the tips of his ears turning pink. He coughed, clearing his throat. “So? You ready to dump her or what, Yamaguchi?”

The pinch server laughed a little, but he sounded a bit uncomfortable. “We’re, uh, we’re doing pretty alright,” Yamaguchi replied. “She wants us to get more serious, I think. So yeah, I guess that’s happening.” He sucked in a deep breath. “She actually wanted to meet up today, too, but I told her I was busy hanging out with you all, so.”

Kyoutani opened his mouth to say something, but Yahaba cut him off. “Well if you’re happy, we’re happy,” the setter said, smiling as he turned to face the middle blocker. “And how about you, Tsukishima? Find anybody willing to put up with you yet?”

Yamaguchi stood up before the blonde had the chance to answer. “I’m going to go throw all this stuff away,” he said, quickly gathering the empty plastic wrappings off the table and shooting them a brief smile. “Back in a sec.”

Tsukishima watched him walk away, his eyebrows furrowing. Hm.

“Well I suppose that’s a no then,” Yahaba finished, dusting the crumbs off his hands. “Seeing as you’re still doing the whole pining for Yamaguchi thing.”

Tsukishima turned back around to shoot the setter a glare. “Wow. Thanks a lot, Yahaba.” He frowned. “And I thought you were supposed to be the better half.”

“Oi,” Kyoutani cut in, the arm he had wrapped around Yahaba’s waist tightening, but the setter only shrugged.

“Just calling the shots that I see,” he answered simply.

“Yeah well you can stop. I’m doing fine.” Tsukishima leaned his head back to down the rest of his soda, nodding his chin towards Kyoutani. “Worry about your own baby.”

”Oi,” Kyoutani repeated, leaning forward, and Yahaba had to put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“We’re just concerned for you, Tsukishima,” the setter said. His voice was soft. “It’s been a while. Like, the over ten years kind of a while.”

Tsukishima stood up. “You calling me pathetic, Yahaba?”

“Tsu-“

“Because I just spent the last ten years waiting for the chance to activate a stupid marriage pact we made when we were in college.” He barked out a laugh. “Don’t really know if you can say anything to make me understand more just how completely and utterly pitiful I am.”

“We only-“

“I get it. You’re worried, and I’m pathetic.” The blonde crushed the empty soda can in his hand. “But you know what?” He turned around. “At least I’m used to it.”

The middle blocker was already walking away before they had the chance to respond, heading towards where Yamaguchi stood by the trash cans.

“Hey,” the blonde said, and Yamaguchi shot him a little smile.

“Hey,” he replied. “You tired of third-wheeling, too?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima answered. “Something like that.” He glanced back at the picnic table, where Kyoutani had leaned in to massage the back of a frowning Yahaba.

“God.” Tsukishima turned to look at Yamaguchi, who sighed wistfully at the scene. “They’re cute, no? Seems like it would be nice to have somebody look at you like that.”

The middle blocker arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you already have that?”

“What?” Yamaguchi’s head whipped around, his eyes going wide. “Wha- what do you mean?”

“Your girlfriend,” Tsukishima prompted, and Yamaguchi deflated.

“Oh. That’s who you were talking about.” The pinch server shook his head, crossing his arms. “Yeah, I don’t know. Hopefully.” He paused, his tone not entirely right. “How about you though, Tsukki? Aren’t you still looking for that, too?”

The blonde stayed quiet for a long moment, studying Yamaguchi’s face carefully. We’re just worried about you, Tsukishima, the setter had said. It’s been a while.

“I’m fine with the way things are,” he answered, thinking about Yamaguchi, standing in their shared kitchen, laughing. Tsukishima didn’t even have to lie. God. Yahaba was right. How much more pathetic could he possibly get.

“Oh,” Yamaguchi said, glancing down at his feet. He sounded disappointed. Shit. The middle blocker closed his eyes. That was right. Yamaguchi didn’t want him to be fine with the way things were. No, Yamaguchi wanted him to go off and find somebody to actually date so that the pinch server didn’t have to feel so worried about leaving him alone. Tsukishima could almost laugh. Figures. The blonde was just a black hole, after all, taking and taking as Yamaguchi kept on giving and giving and it wasn’t fine, Tsukishima wasn’t supposed to be fine with this, he was supposed to want to let Yamaguchi go and for this to stop and he was trying, really, he was really trying his best to want it, too.

“You didn’t have to turn down your girlfriend, you know,” Tsukishima said. “You could’ve ditched us. It would’ve still been okay without you.”

“Right.” Yamaguchi laughed a little, but he still didn’t look up to meet the middle blocker’s gaze. “Right, yeah, of course. Of course you would be fine without me. I know that, I promise, I just- I don’t know.” He paused for a long moment before sucking in a deep breath and glancing back up at Tsukishima. “Seriously though, Tsukki. Do you really think she’s that stupid?”

The middle blocker shrugged. “Only slightly,” he answered. He paused, considering. “But you’ve stayed friends with Hinata for this long, so don’t worry. She’s nothing you can’t deal with.”

“Wow.” Yamaguchi laughed, shaking his head. “You really can be an asshole sometimes, Tsukki.”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima’s lips turned upwards in a small smile despite himself as he tossed the soda can into the trash. “Yeah. Trust me. I know.”

Tsukishima stepped outside of the movie theater’s lobby, wincing when a sudden gust of wind hit his face. Oh. Yay. Frowning, he walked further out onto the sidewalk. How pleasant.

He quickly unlocked the car and dropped inside, shutting the door to the driver’s seat behind him before leaning his head back against the head rest to sigh. Well. All things considered, that really only went semi-awful, no? If the scale was one to dying a million painful deaths, of course.

But still. Only semi-awful had to count as a success. Right?

Pursing his lips, Tsukishima pulled out his phone to stare at the screen. No. He wasn’t going to do it. It had only went semi-awful, after all, so he couldn’t exactly be that desperate. Not yet, at least.

The middle blocker narrowed his eyes.

Screw it, he decided, squaring his jaw as he swallowed down the last of his tattered pride and pressed on the contact.

“What the fuck do you want?” Kyoutani’s voice growled when he answered the phone. Tsukishima couldn’t help but smirk a little.

“Well hello there, Kyoutani. Good evening to you, too.”

“Yeah, yeah.” There was some rustling on the other end of the line. “Now hurry up. I’m busy.”

“With what?” Tsukishima heard Yahaba say something in the background, and the blonde immediately closed his eyes. “Nope. Nevermind. Please don’t tell me. I really do not want to know.”

“Oh shut up - we’re just baking, you pervert.”

“You?” The middle blocker arched an eyebrow. “You, Kyoutani Kentarou, are baking?”

There was a long pause. “He got me an apron, alright,” the spiker grumbled, and Tsukishima snorted.

“Don’t tell me it has frills,” the middle blocker said, the corner of his lips tilting upwards into a crooked smile.

When Kyoutani didn’t respond, Tsukishima burst out into snickering.

“Oh my god it so does,” he wheezed. He could practically feel the spiker’s glare through the phone.

“I’m going to hang up on you,” Kyoutani threatened, and Tsukishima had to bite his lip to suppress his laughter.

“No, no, don’t go. I just-“ He let out a large exhale. “I just fucked up, actually. Big time.”

“The little boyfriend,” Kyoutani finished. Tsukishima glanced down.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah. Him.”

It was quiet for a long moment. Then, after a brief pause, the middle blocker could hear Kyoutani suck in a deep breath on the other end of the line. “Look,” the spiker started. “You’re just a coward, Tsukishima.”

“Wow.” The blonde scoffed, closing his eyes. “Thanks, Kyoutani. Very inspiring.”

“Oi. Listen.” The spiker took another big inhale. “I know I’m not real good at this whole serious conversation thing-“

“You don’t say.”

Tsukishima could almost feel the force of Kyoutani’s scowl through the phone. “Okay shut the fuck up, you fucking dickhead, I’m trying to be fucking mature and shit for you here.”

“Yeah, uhuh.” The middle blocker nodded. “I think I definitely got that from the whole ‘you fucking dickhead’ thing.”

“I hate you.”

“Hate you, too.”

Sighing, Kyoutani started again. “Alright look. Tsukishima. I’m not gonna be all prissy with you here. You have been pining after this guy for a lot longer than I have known you.”

The middle blocker sniffed. “I don’t think it really counts as pining, per se-“

“It absolutely does, you actual coward. And whatever, it’s fine, you can put yourself through whatever misery you want, but it becomes a problem when your little boyfriend shows up on my front step crying-“

“Wait.” Tsukishima’s forehead creased. No. That didn’t make sense. “He went to you?”

“Yeah, he’s staying with us, whatever, point is-“

Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed even more. “He’s staying with you?”

Kyoutani heaved out a loud sigh. “Yes, Tsukishima, he’s staying with us, because everybody likes him more than you. Get over it.”

The middle blocker ignored him, his mind working a mile a minute. Hold up. If Yamaguchi was staying at Kyoutani’s house, then that must mean…“When did he come to you?”

“Huh?”

“When did Yamaguchi come to you, Kyoutani?” Tsukishima repeated, not even bothering to keep the impatience out of his tone.

“I dunno - a month ago, maybe. But you’re missing the point-“

Oh my god. “I have to go.” Tsukishima immediately pushed open the car’s door.

“Oi-“

The middle blocker, however, cut him off. “Thanks though. For letting him stay with you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you better not be getting all sappy on me, Tsu-“

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Hate you, Kyoutani.”

“Hate you, too, but-“

The blonde didn’t bother to hear the rest, instead simply hanging up and striding quickly back into the movie theater’s lobby. It was only when his hand was hovering above the bathroom doorknob that he stopped to think.

Wait. What was he doing, exactly? Even if he was right, even if Yamaguchi really was at Kyoutani’s place, what was he supposed to do with this information? This - whatever this was, the whole storming into restrooms thing or whatnot - this wasn’t him. This wasn’t what he did. For heaven’s sake, Tsukishima had waited ten years just so that he could use a stupid marriage pact to avoid having to put any effort into this whole thing in the first place - he wasn’t made for this. He wasn’t made for trying. He wasn’t made for risks. He was made for waiting, sitting there like a black hole, staying completely still until something else came along to take the chances for him.

He should just turn around. Go home. Think. Avoid.

But then he thought about the empty apartment waiting for him, and Tsukishima frowned, steeling himself.

Oh fuck it, he decided as he kicked open the door to the restroom. It’s not like it can get any worse than it already is, anyways.

Tsukishima held in a sigh. He really didn’t know why he kept on agreeing to watch these things.

Actually, that was a lie. Tsukishima adjusted his glasses and very much did not look over at the person sitting on the other end of the couch. He knew all too well why he kept on agreeing to these dumb rom-coms, but just because he could intellectually acknowledge the pitiful thing that was Tsukishima Kei’s reasoning did not mean he didn’t still retain the right to complain bitterly about it, so.

“Oh, hooray,” the middle blocker dead-panned, gesturing towards the screen. “Another airport scene. My favorite.”

He waited, but when a minute passed by without a response, Tsukishima glanced over to his right. “Yamaguchi?” he said. The pinch server was biting his lip hard, his watery eyes fixed determinedly on the screen and his hands clutching a pillow to his chest. “Oh come on. This movie isn’t even sad.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi tried to force out a chuckle, but he quickly ducked his head to hide his face in the pillow. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to- sorry. God. This is so dumb, isn’t it?”

His eyebrows furrowing, the middle blocker leaned forward to press pause on the remote control. “Something’s wrong,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

“No, no, nothing’s wrong, I’m just-“ Yamaguchi barked out something maybe resembling a laugh, lifting up his red eyes from the pillow to gesture towards the television. “Well here he goes again, stupid little Tadashi, crying at yet another shallow rom-com, and I just- I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry, Tsukki. I’m going to stop, I promise, I’m going to- yeah. I’m just going to stop.“

“Yamaguchi.” The blonde’s tone was serious. Yamaguchi was fiddling with his fingers. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

The pinch server chewed on his bottom lip for a long moment in silence, refusing to meet Tsukishima’s gaze. “I just-“ He paused. “I just, like, really, really want all that, you know? I want it. I want it so bad.”

“Want what?” Tsukishima glanced towards the television screen. “An airport confession?”

“Just, like, all of it,” Yamaguchi said, his voice cracking, “I just want all of it, and with a really specific person, and I’ve been trying my best to be a good friend to you, Tsukki, I really, really have, but I just- I don’t know. I don’t know if I can keep waiting for you anymore. I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I’m sorry.” He sucked in a shaky breath. “Please don’t be mad. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Tsukishima couldn’t breathe. Fuck. So it was happening then. It was actually, honest-to-goodness happening then. Pressing his lips together firmly, the blonde squeezed his hand into a fist because finally - finally - for the first time in almost three decades, Yamaguchi was done waiting around for Tsukishima to find himself a life. Fuck.

“I’m not mad,” the middle blocker said, his voice quiet, and Yamaguchi’s shoulders collapsed.

“She wants me to move in with her,” the pinch server whispered, fixing his eyes on the couch.

Tsukishima made sure to not let his expression change. “And you?” he asked, careful to keep his tone neutral. “Do you want to?”

“I…” Yamaguchi’s eyes flickered up to meet Tsukishima’s before quickly darting away once again. “I don’t know. We’ve been living together for so long, Tsukki.”

“But do you want to?” Tsukishima’s expression was stoney. He wasn’t going to be an asshole about this. He had promised himself he wouldn’t be. He had even spent the past ten years preparing, just so that when this moment came, he could - for once in his life - be nice about it.

No, Tsukishima wasn’t going to be a dickhead, not to Yamaguchi, not about this. He just wasn’t going to do it.

“She’s nice,” Yamaguchi said finally, still avoiding the blonde’s gaze.

“Nice?” The middle blocker held in a scoff. He wasn’t going to do it. He wasn’t going to goddamn do it.

“Yeah.” Yamaguchi finally looked up into his eyes, and Tsukishima’s willpower broke. “She’s nice.”

“Really? Nice? That’s the best you can come up with?” This was such a mistake. Tsukishima knew this. He knew Yamaguchi didn’t deserve this.

And yet, squaring his jaw, the middle blocker sucked in a deep breath anyways. “Because if that’s as good as you can do, Yamaguchi, you probably shouldn’t be together.”

The pinch server’s eyes were wide. “What are you saying, Tsukki?”

The sentence was out of his mouth before he could even think it. “You shouldn’t move in with her.” No, no, no, this was all wrong. “You shouldn’t even be dating her.” This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. “I mean- come on.” Tsukishima was such a fucking jerk, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it, and even though he knew he wasn’t being fair, and even though the words felt like poison on his tongue, he couldn’t stop, because there was just a little tiny voice in him screaming that he was right. “Are you desperate for the girl, or for the relationship, because for goodness sake, Yamaguchi, if you’re being really, truly honest with yourself, do you even love the damn woman?”

The pinch server simply stared at him for a long moment in silence. Tsukishima held his breath. “Love her?” Yamaguchi raised his eyebrows, slowly standing up from the couch. “You want to know if I actually love her?” His voice was quiet, but Tsukishima could see his eyes hardening as Yamaguchi started backing away. “Really? You? Tsukishima Kei?” He barked out a laugh, but it was a harsh, cold sound. “No, no, you don’t get to ask that though, Tsukki, because what the fuck do you even know about love, hm? What do you know?”

Nothing, clearly, because the pinch server’s eyes were firey and his words were steadily growing louder and Tsukishima couldn’t do anything but stare as Yamaguchi burned. “Oh my god. Oh my actual god.” Scoffing, Yamaguchi started to shake his head. “I have literally been sitting here, in this apartment, waiting for you - for over a decade, actually, waiting for you for over a decade - and I have spent the past ten years being a good person, being a good friend, all the while wanting nothing more than for you to just finally wake up one morning and feel it, too, for you to finally wake up one morning and fall in love, too, for you to finally wake up one morning and decide that I get to be happy, too, for you-“ Yamaguchi’s voice cracked, and he swallowed hard. “I have been waiting for you, Tsukki. I have been waiting for you, and I have been good to you, except nothing I do will ever really be good enough because we’ve been here for ten years and you are never going to want anything more than this and that’s fine, really, it’s okay, you can’t help it, but I just can’t be here to see it, I can’t-“ The middle blocker could see Yamaguchi fighting to hold back his tears. “I can’t do this anymore, Tsukki. I can’t wait for you any longer. I can’t stay here and still be happy. It won’t work. It hasn’t worked. I’ve tried, and it just doesn’t. I need to move on. I’m sorry, Tsukki, but I need to just-”

And then the dams broke, and Yamaguchi buried his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking. Tsukishima couldn’t even bring himself to move, instead only finding himself able to watch the pinch server cry in silence. Fuck.

The blonde had fucked this up. He had massively and completely fucked this up.

“Go,” the middle blocker said, his voice quiet. When Yamaguchi didn’t respond, Tsukishima made his voice louder, firmer. “Go.”

Wiping his eyes, Yamaguchi hesitantly peeked up from his hands, and Tsukishima steeled himself. “Go,” he repeated, nodding his head towards the door. “If that’s really how you feel, then just go, Yamaguchi. Just fucking go.”

The pinch server blinked slowly. “Okay,” he murmured after a long moment passed by in silence, turning around. “Okay.”

Tsukishima didn’t respond. He didn’t respond when Yamaguchi started walking away, and he didn’t respond when the door opened, and he didn’t respond when it closed. Instead, he only sat there, as still as a black hole collapsing in on itself, staring at the space where Yamaguchi had been standing a minute before, wondering what had happened to the rest of the solar system.

So he had done it. Yamaguchi had actually, finally done it. Tsukishima blinked, processing. It had really happened then - Yamaguchi had finally done it, had finally left Tsukishima behind so that he could go off and actually be happy. Twenty-nine years old and he had done it. He had truly, honest-to-goodness done it.

Good for him, Tsukishima found himself thinking, despite himself, because someway, somehow, Tsukishima Kei always managed to make the most pathetic of pathetic situations even more pitiful. Good for fucking him.

This wasn’t an airport scene. Tsukishima refused to let this be an airport scene.

And okay, so maybe he was kinda barging in like a rom-com-hero-type character, and alright, fine, so maybe if some idiot was watching him right now this may kinda seem like a running-through-the-airport-type ending, but it wasn’t, okay, he wouldn’t let it be, except even if he did, this would have to be a hell of a shitty knock-off version because what could possibly be even remotely romantic about a grown man bulldozing into a movie theater bathroom like an alien-possessed Chihuahua.

Except Tsukishima didn’t even have time to think about that depressing comparison because before he could even process it his hand was already banging on the door to the stall he hoped Yamaguchi was still sitting in.

“Open up, Yamaguchi,” he ordered, biting his lip.

There wasn’t a reply, and Tsukishima had to duck down to double-check that the pinch server’s favorite pair of worn-out sneakers were indeed still visible underneath the stall door before knocking once more.

“Don’t pretend you’re not there. I can see your shoes.”

Yamaguchi remained silent, only swiping his feet off of the ground to hide them. Sucking in a deep breath, Tsukishima tried again.

“Yamaguchi,” he said.

No reply.

The middle blocker frowned. He shouldn’t say it. He couldn’t say it, because what if he was wrong, and what if this was a misunderstanding, and what if Yamaguchi-

But he had to say it, because what if he had been wrong, and what if this had all just been an incredibly drawn-out misunderstanding, and what if Yamaguchi and what if Yamaguchi and what if Yamaguchi-

“You lied to me.” Tsukishima sucked in a deep breath. “You lied to me, Yamaguchi, because you didn’t move out to live with your girlfriend; you’re living with Kyoutani. And she may be slightly stupid, but she’s not dumb enough to break up with you, not again, not when she was finally going to get what she wanted, so I think- I think you did it. I think you broke up with her.” He let out an exhale. “I’m right, aren’t I? You were the one to end it, no?”

He waited, but when Yamaguchi didn’t answer, the middle blocker simply barrelled on anyways.

“Fine. Don’t answer me. That’s alright. I can just tell you what I think then.” Tsukishima closed his eyes. Well shit. So he was actually doing it. “I think it wasn’t her you were talking about that day,” he said, his eyes opening back up again, and, for once in his life, Tsukishima was glad he had almost no ability to get his mouth stop. “The day you moved out, I mean. I think it wasn’t her you meant when you said you wanted the whole rom-com thing. I think it wasn’t her you meant when you said you wanted it with a specific person, and I think it wasn’t because of her that you said you needed to leave.”

He paused, waiting, but when Yamaguchi still didn’t answer, Tsukishima let out a loud exhale. “Yamaguchi. Please. I need you to answer me now, I really need you to respond to me now, I just-“ He stopped. Tsukishima could still wait. He still didn’t need to say it. He still didn’t need to risk it, because he still could just stand here and wait for Yamaguchi to say something or to leave or to do whatever Yamaguchi was going to do - it didn’t matter, because the point was only that he didn’t need to do this. He could still wait.

But it had been over ten years and Tsukishima was done waiting, he was fucking sick of it, and so, screwing his eyes shut, the blonde let the black hole open up as the entire universe collapsed in on itself.

“I just need you to answer me, Yamaguchi, because I’m really just completely and utterly and fuckingly in love with you, alright, I really am, and it’s really pathetic, and I swear to god, if you’re just sitting there taking a massive shit right now I’m actually gonna-“

Except then the stall door swung open to reveal the pinch server standing there, staring up at him with wide, shiny eyes.

Tsukishima let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “Oh. So you weren’t just pissing then-“

“Shut the hell up, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi breathed, surging forward to wrap his arms around the middle blocker’s neck and pull his face down to press their lips together and Tsukishima was barely even processing this honestly because all he could think was fuck, so this was an airport scene then, and even worse than that was the fact that he couldn’t get himself to be mad about it and what the hell was Yamaguchi doing to him, really, because wasn’t this whole thing supposed to make him less pathetic except here he was anyways, his hands falling down to pull Yamaguchi’s hips in further, and alright, so fine, maybe he was still as pitiful as ever because right then Tsukishima found himself finally starting to understand the appeal of this whole kind of rom-com-type ending thing.

“Oh my god, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi pulled back, his eyebrows furrowing. “How did you not- I just- I literally- oh my god, Tsukki, I literally confessed to you, Tsukki, oh my god-“

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” the middle blocker replied, his ears flushing red. He tried to lean forward again, but the pinch server put his hands on the blonde’s chest to stop him.

“No, Tsukki, because actually though, how- I can’t even-“ Yamaguch’s mouth floundered for words. “I’m sorry, Tsukki, but, like, I really do not understand where the confusion could have possibly come from; I mean, I legit confessed my feelings to you-“

“Yeah well you clearly need to work on your confessing skills then-“

“No, actually.” The pinch server smiled up at him. “I don’t think I’ll need to anymore.”

Tsukishima, meanwhile, didn’t even bother to try to stop the tips of his lips from turning upwards, instead only leaning forward once again. “No,” he answered. “I don’t think you will, either.”

And, as their lips met, Tsukishima closed his eyes, smirking slightly to himself.

Victory, he thought. Victory.