Chapter Text
1-
Cas was sitting in the living room, with Dean nestled perfectly on his lap, sound asleep, finally. Cas was busying himself combing through his husband’s hair, keeping him warm and not moving a muscle that could disturb his sound sleep, God knows he needed it, and more.
You see, Dean is now 2 months pregnant, Cas was over the moon, earth shatteringly happy! They’ve been trying for a whole year and it never panned out, no surprise there really since male-carrier pregnancies are always very hard and problematic, so you could imagine how he felt when Dean finally broke the news! Of course, they’re keeping things on the down low until the end of the first trimester, they wanted to shout the news to the world but Dean opted for the voice of reason, saying that there was no use telling people until they knew for sure that this baby has a chance, and Cas obliged, he really can’t say no to Dean anyway!
Which brings us back to why Cas was adamant to not wake Dean from his mid-afternoon nap, how he strived to maintain a sense of calm for his husband…
While the worry was gnawing on his insides….
You see, ever since Dean told Cas about the pregnancy, it’s like someone flipped a switch, and the normally gourmand, Live-to-eat Dean now can’t even stomach the simplest of foods!
The first trimester nausea is hitting him pretty hard, to the extent that Cas had to take a leave off work to tend to his husband, much to Dean’s detriment, who tried to assure him that everything is fine, his stomach was just upset and he was gonna get over it! The sacrificial, amazing assbutt!
Of course, Cas didn’t believe him after his 5th rush to the bathroom to puke his guts out! He called in at work saying that he needed a week off, and made it his mission to find foods that Dean could stomach in his condition. Over a week, he tried everything, EVERYTHING! And nothing panned out! Even the anti-emetics the doctors prescribed weren’t working, and Cas was at his wit’s end! Dean was losing more weight than he can afford to, going to work was out of the question, he can’t even be trusted to not faint on his own or hit his head or any other god-awful scenario.
So, here was Cas, sitting on the living room sofa, combing Dean’s hair and soothing him, Cas couldn’t help but wonder if maybe they were asking for too much here! Having Dean as his husband was already beyond the realm of possibility, they love each other more than it can be described by mere words, Dean was the literal air he breathes, the sun, the moon and all the stars in his world, and the toll carrying a baby was taking on him is …. Cas can’t help but wonder if it’s just too much, too much for the great Dean Winchester to bear on his own, not that Cas will not be with him every step of the way but let’s face it, carrying that baby is a one man’s job no matter how much Cas wants to take on that pain himself if it meant Dean would be okay, and if it’s that hard and they’re only in the first trimester, just imagine ….
“You’re thinking too hard,” says a sleepy, dewy-eyed Dean, looking with half-lidded eyes upwards from his perch in Cas’ lap “What’s bothering you, babe?”
“Nothing Dean, what woke you up? Don’t you want to rest some more?” says Cas, doubtful that Dean will buy into his deflection.
“I’m okay Cas, and you know that won’t work on me, I can see the screws turning loose in your brain, care to share?” Dean says as he scrambles to sit up, not breaking eye contact with Cas for a second.
“Nothing truly, just worried about you”
“Nothing, huh? Try again”
Cas now has two options, either keep up with the deflections, remain steadfast on his stance, or share his worries with Dean, and coming from experience that It never ends well with them when they don’t communicate properly (a story for another time) he opts for the second option with a huge sigh that speaks volumes about how much he doesn’t like it.
“What if this too much”
“What’s too much?”
“This pregnancy, it’s really hard on you Dean, and I’m worried, I’m deeply worried”
“Babe, you know it’s not uncommon for male carriers, hell, even women, to go through severe nausea in the first trimester of their pregnancy, and I’m not gonna lie it’s been a bitch but I’m sure it’ll pass in due time”
Of course, Cas knows this, he spent hours upon hours researching that same topic, but it didn’t help in easing his mind, not one bit..
“I know it’s common, but I don’t like that it happened to you, not to you Dean! It’s been weeks since you’ve had anything substantial to eat that you could stomach, you’re losing weight, you’re pale and I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth it!”
Dean takes his tirade in and is silent for a minute, looking deeply into Cas’ eyes and his response is something Cas will never forget, a true defining moment in their lives together
“Do you trust me?”
Now, Cas is truly taken aback, he replies instantly though “Of course I do, honey, that’s not even remotely the question”
Then Dean replies with ease “Then you know that you could trust me when I say that this is a minor hiccup on the road to growing our family, that I can take it and that I’m gonna be okay, and all those hours I spend worshipping the bathroom gods are gonna be so worth it when we have our baby girl in our arms, okay?” And he has so much faith in his eyes, he truly believes every word he just uttered wholeheartedly, and goddamn if it isn’t infectious
“Baby girl, huh? And you know this how?” Says Cas, smirking at his beloved while trying to capture some of his strength for himself, they’re definitely gonna need it.
“Hell yeah, you just wait, once you know I’m right about this you won’t question me ever again”
And Cas can’t help but stare lovingly into Dean’s eyes, his tired eyes that are deeply sunk into his pale face, but ever so green and so beautiful, still taking his breath away
“I love you” Cas can’t help but say, it’s Dean’s effect on him.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, ditto” says Dean with a little laugh that’s just him! “Now go make me some toast, maybe it’ll stick around this time, our girl needs some nourishment”
And off goes Castiel, marveling at how strong his husband is, with his worries eased, at least for now, to make some toast for his husband, and hoping for the best.