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Steve looked up, and it felt like all of the air was sucked from his body.
Hopper.
Hopper was standing in front of him. Whole. Alive. Breathing.
El ran forward with a shriek and flew into Hopper’s waiting arms. Their embrace was fierce and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Steve took the moment of their reunion to reassure himself that this wasn’t a dream, that he wasn’t asleep and this wasn’t some hallucination cooked up by Vecna. But no, he was awake, this was real. He couldn’t breathe.
Hopper was actually alive, and though he was more than a little beat up and covered in a layer of dirt, then again everyone in their monster hunting crew was.
Steve didn’t know what to think or where he stood. Before Starcourt, before everything went to shit that summer, he had finally started to feel like he had something. It had started with Hopper dragging him back to the cabin with him and El after Steve had been strong-armed into admitting neither of his parents were home or bound to be back any time soon. Hopper had declared that he’d be damned if he let Steve go back to his empty house with a head injury, and Steve hadn’t been too keen on being alone himself and so he went with him. He had expected one night of company and then back to business as usual, just Steve and his big house and absent parents. The status quo.
But he was wrong. After that night Steve had gotten coerced into staying at the cabin the rest of the week, until the doctors cleared him of the most dangerous symptoms from his concussion (thanks Russians). Then Steve went back to his house, mentally preparing himself for being alone again, but Hopper….kept inviting him back?
It started with Hopper calling him asking him to spend the day at the cabin, someone trustworthy to keep El company and besides, “She really likes you kid, and I could rest easier knowing I’ve got someone responsible keeping an eye on her.”, and of course that had made Steve cave in an instant because there was nothing he was starved for more than being wanted. That’s how it started. It had evolved into Hopper showing up to his house at random, dragging him off to join him and El for dinner at the cabin, to more nights spent in the spare room that was steadily gaining more of his clothes, to days spent watching shitty soap operas with El on the overstuffed couch while they waited for Hopper to come back from his shift with whatever take out he’d wrangled for the night. There were a lot of affectionate hair ruffles from Hop, equally bestowed on both El and Steve, the man chuckling at their annoyance. Before he knew it, there was something more like home with Hopper and El in that shitty cabin than he had ever felt with his parents in their Loch Nora mansion.
It didn’t really hit Steve what was going on until one of the nights he was yet again crashing at the cabin. El had insisted on a movie night that had run into the early hours of the morning. Steve had unpeeled himself from the couch and stretched, letting loose a yawn so wide his jaw popped. He had barely gotten through a “Well, I’ll see you both at the Byers’ tomorrow-” before Hopper had cut him off with an “Absolutely not.” The man had proceeded to heard Steve into the spare bedroom, threatening to confiscate his car keys when Steve had insisted he was perfectly capable of driving himself home just fine- (“I’m only going to say this one more damn time kid, it’s the middle of the night, stay here.”) And between Hopper’s grumbling and El’s sleepy, but insistent stare, Steve’s resolve crumbled in seconds, and he did his best to ignore the warm feeling tugging at his chest.
Of course it had to be that night that Steve had a nightmare.
Nightmares were nothing new, a neat souvenir Steve had gotten from the events with the Upside Down, right alongside the reluctantly earned ‘monster hunter’ badge. Steve had been plagued by them ever since he had gotten dragged into this whole mess, and he could count on one hand the amount of full nights of sleep he had gotten ever since that night in the Byers house. Not that anyone else knew that.
He was aware he wasn’t the only one of the Party that suffered from them. Steve knew the kids got their fair share. Hell, he had comforted El after a number of her own, but he hadn’t ever admitted to anyone else that he got them too.
He knew the nightmares were nothing to be ashamed of, they had seen some fucked up stuff, but Steve was used to being the strong one amongst the kids, he had become the protector and somewhere along the way it had begun to feel like he wasn’t allowed to be anything else. They hardly needed another burden in their lives, they had been through so much and Steve could manage his stupid night terrors by himself.
But this had been a bad one
Steve was back in those terrible tunnels, but this time he was on his own. There wasn’t a kid in sight, and acid air choked his lungs as Steve ran aimlessly. Mist lingered in the air making his vision hazy, and dirt walls seemed to crumble in word as Steve tried to navigate the maze of tunnels. Where were the kids? They had to get out!
“Dustin! Max! Lucas! Mike!” he screamed, stumbling over vines.
Steve continued his frantic search. His bat was mysteriously absent, and without it Steve felt powerless against the threat of the Upside Down. When had he left it behind? He continued calling for the kids.
“I swear, if any of you nerds are fucking with me I am leaving you behind-”
Suddenly, Steve tripped over something much bigger than the vines that lined the tunnels. He hit the ground hard enough to rattle his bones and shooting pain shot up both his wrists.
“What the fuck-” Steve turned around to see what had gotten in his way and froze. It wasn’t a vine, the lump was distinctly human shaped. As Steve moved closer, the figure gained a distinguishable baseball cap and untamed curls, the blood in his veins turned to ice.
“No,” he breathed, “No, no, no, no, no- Dustin!”
Steve stumbled forward, making his way over to the body. Dustin’s skin was cold to the touch and a slack expression dominated his face. Steve choked back a cry. It was then that a flash of red caught his eye.
Against the wall was Max, pale and lifeless, her body bound tight with those fucking vines. Beside her was Lucas and Mike, in a similar state. Their eyes were terrifyingly blank, drained of any sign of life. On each of their faces was a look of horror, features twisted into a painful caricature of fear.
Steve could do nothing but scream, still gripping Dustin’s limp hand in his, the skin was cold, so terribly cold. He had failed. He had failed them all, and now here they were, dead in this otherworldly tomb.
The scent of kerosene filled his nostrils and he became increasingly aware of the crackle of flames. Suddenly the tunnel was alight, fire blazing in every direction. Steve screamed as it overtook his friend’s bodies, he screamed as the air became red hot, smoking scraping at his lungs, and he screamed as the flames began to lick at his own skin, consuming him.
Steve blinked, and one second he was in the tunnels drowning in fire, and the next he was in a dark room.
The door swung open and hit the opposite wall with a bang and strong arms wrapped themselves around him, pulling him into a solid torso. There was a horrible noise echoing in the room and it took Steve a minute to realize it was the sound of his own screams. His heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest and it had become incredibly hard to breathe. Steve became aware of a voice beside his ear, speaking gently as the arms rocked him back and forth.
“Come on kid, you’re all right. You’re safe, everything’s okay, I’m right here.”
Like a spell had lifted Steve took a gasping breath, and he tried to ignore the taste of smoke still lingering in his mouth. Tears dripped down his face and continued to fall without his permission. If he thought too hard he could still feel the flames licking at his skin.
“That’s it kid, breathe, nice and easy. You’re okay, I promise.”
“H-Hopper,” Steve choked out, still struggling for air but becoming increasingly more aware. “Where-” The arms around him tightened.
“Easy there, kid. You’re at the cabin with me and El. We talked you into staying the night after the movie ran late, remember?”
“Y-yeah.” A hand made its way into Steve’s hair, running through the strands.
“Good, kid. Now try and match my breathing, I’m not planning on having you pass out on me tonight.”
Steve closed his eyes and concentrated on the rise and fall of Hopper’s chest as he took exaggerated breaths. Slowly, but surely he managed his own gasping breaths. The arms around him never loosened, and the hand in his hair continued its comforting strokes. Steve steeled his resolve and pushed back from the embrace and was let go willingly. He leaned back and was met with the sight of Hopper, hair mused and dressed in a sleep shirt and boxers.
“Sorry.” Steve’s voice was small, and Hopper’s worried gaze made him wish he could disappear.
“For what?”
Under any other circumstances Steve would have laughed at how baffled Hopper sounded. Now he could barely bring himself to meet his eyes.
“For waking you up. I didn’t mean to. I should have just gone back to my house, I should have known this would happen-”
A hand on his shoulder silenced Steve’s rambling.
“First of all, kid, it was a nightmare, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. You know better than anyone that the rest of the kids get them, and frankly, after all the shit we’ve been through it's hardly a surprise.”
“But I woke you up-”
“And you can wake me up a hundred damn nights for all I care, Steve. If you need help, you wake me up all you want. Same as El. Even if it’s just a bad dream. Got it?”
Steve swallowed thickly. “Okay.”
“Do you get nightmares like that often? And don’t you dare bullshit me, Harrington.”
“Every once in a while. Since…. Everything. Especially since the tunnels. I usually dream that I’m back there, that I failed and something got the kids. It’s not always like that, though. Tonight was… worse.”
“You never told anyone about them.” It isn’t a question. Steve takes a careful breath.
“No. Everyone has so much to deal with already. I didn’t want to bother them. Besides, they’re just nightmares. It’s silly.”
Hopper’s eyes narrowed. “Kid, I saw what just happened. That was a hell of a lot more than ‘just a nightmare’. You were fucking terrified.”
And Steve doesn’t know what exactly he’s supposed to say to that so instead he shrugs. The next few moments are filled with silence, only the sounds of their breaths between them. On the opposite end of the room Steve observes a stain on the wall. If he squints at it just right, it kind of looks like that green blob ghost thing from Ghostbusters. Dustin would probably find that amusing. He files it away to share later, assuming he survives this moment. Steve’s ruminations are interrupted by Hopper blowing out a harsh breath.
“I meant what I said before,” Hopper began, “About you coming to me if you need help. Although you don’t just have to be needing help. You can come to me for whatever you damn want.”
“What?” Steve is a bit lost. Hopper takes a breath like he’s in pain.
“Fuck. I’m absolutely shit at this emotional crap, both Joyce and El can confirm that for me. I just- what I’m trying to say is-.” Hopper runs a hand through his hair. “I care about you. You and El? You’re my kids. You guys got dealt a shit hand when it comes to parental figures, and I’m hardly a shining beacon, but I’m here for you. Whatever happens.”
For the first time since he woke up, Steve felt light. He’d never had anyone before who was actually interested in taking care of him. Someone to rely on. Steve had gotten used to the fact that he was destined to be on his own. But the past few weeks, the time at the cabin? That had felt like something.
“I’d really like that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Hopper’s hand reached out and ruffled Steve’s hair, affectionately.
“Well you’re stuck with us now, kid.”
Steve laughed. “Y’know for someone who claims he’s emotionally stunted, that was a pretty decent heart-to-heart, chief.”
Hopper snorted. “You can thank Joyce for that.”
“Maybe I will.”
Steve made a failed attempt at dodging the fist that slugged his shoulder playfully.
“Don’t be a smartass, kid. Now isn’t it high time you went back to sleep? Those kids are going to run you ragged tomorrow.”
As he spoke, Hopper rose from his spot on the bed and a cold dose of fear gripped Steve’s heart at the words.
“Will you- will you stay here? Until I fall asleep?” Steve felt incredibly childish making the request, but he figured Hopper had spoken his mind earlier, and Steve owed it to him to make the same attempt. His worry seemed useless anyways, since Hopper agreed almost immediately.
“Sure, kid. Now get settled.”
Just as Steve had laid back down on his pillows the bedroom door creaked open. Through the shadows he could see the figure of El standing in the doorway. A blanket was draped around her shoulders and a pillow in her hands. She looked at the two of them sitting on the bed.
“Sleepover?” El asked, her gaze imploring. There was no way she hadn’t heard his nightmare earlier, but she mentioned none of it. Steve felt an immeasurable fondness for her rise in his chest. He grinned.
“Yeah. Sleepover.”
El wasted no time in making her way to the bed, climbing right in and snuggling up to Steve’s side. She tossed her blanket over the both of them and produced a teddy bear seemingly out of nowhere. It was one Steve had gotten her, a patchwork of blue and green squares. El placed it between the two of them.
“For good dreams.” she whispered.
The springs of the mattress groaned with the sounds of Hopper shifting into a sitting position on the other end of the bed, his silhouette hovering like a silent sentry. He radiated warmth like a personal heater and it was comforting, unlike the icy chill of the tunnels or the burning heat of the flames in his dreams. Steve felt enveloped by the soft fabric of El’s blanket, and her body snuggled against him was like an anchor firmly latching him to reality. It was in between sleep and waking that Steve put a finger on it. This. This is what family feels like. Not an empty house, or always absent parents, but in this mismatched set of people, crammed together on a single bed at 3am, taking comfort in the presence of one another. It was with that thought that he drifted off to sleep.
__________
That was one of the last peaceful nights before everything unraveled even more than Steve could have imagined it would.
There was Starcourt, and being tortured by Russians, and the weirdly familiar frantic running from otherworldly monsters and fearing for their lives.
There had barely been much of a moment between the chaos, barely a moment to breathe other than the Party’s brief reunion in the mall, in which Hopper had fussed over Steve’s beat up face in his usual gruff way.
But then it was after, and Steve was standing outside the burning mall, emergency sirens blaring all around, his face bandaged to hell and El tucked into his side when Joyce and Murray came back… alone. And they had stood there, frozen and clutching each other tightly, when Joyce had told Steve and El with a tearstained face that Hopper wasn’t coming back.
It had been one of the most awful moments of Steve’s life, trumping even his encounters with real life monsters. The way El had folded into him at the news, her sobs echoing across the parking lot. He was powerless to do anything else but hold her and will away his tears.
Never in his life had Steve wished more for a time machine. Hopper wasn’t supposed to be gone. He said he would be there. For Steve. For El. What were they going to do now? Steve was used to adults breaking their promises to him. But Hopper hadn’t been just anyone. Not to them. The wetness on his cheeks clued him in that he had lost his battle with the tears in his eyes. Only the comforting weight on El in his arms and Robin’s hand on his shoulder kept Steve from falling apart.
Even still, the world was burning.
___________
And now he was here.
The Upside Down bullshit had returned and they had had to fight once more.
Steve stood in front of the cabin, beaten to hell and covered in a mixture of blood and dirt and whatever had been repurposed into makeshift bandages. And Hopper was in front of him- alive.
Steve was pretty sure he had forgotten how to breathe. Maybe he had gotten rabies from those demon bats after all. But then El was in possibly-imaginary-Hopper’s arms, and everyone else was clearly seeing this shit so Steve was in fact definitely not hallucinating and he had no idea what to do.
Hopper was here. Alive. And before everything he had thought Steve was someone worth having around, someone to be family. But so much had happened. He had clearly been through so much. El needed Hopper. She needed him much more than Steve ever did. Maybe in his time away wherever the hell he had been, Hopper had finally figured out what every other adult in Steve’s life had eventually realized- he wasn’t worth it. Steve was too much trouble, too much effort to care for, his actual parents had confirmed as much. Add that alongside all his hard earned Upside Down related trauma and he wasn’t exactly an ideal candidate for ‘random kid to be adopted into a ragtag family’.
Maybe they would just pretend like nothing had happened at all. None of the movie nights, the nightmares, the three of them trying their best to actually cook something edible in the kitchen for dinner, equally clueless but absolutely hysterical and usually leading to pizza being ordered. Maybe a nod to acknowledge ‘it was fun, but we’re done with that now’. No more playing happy families. If Hopper wanted to pretend like that stuff hadn’t mattered, Steve could do it too.
Steve stood there, rooted to the spot, watching El and Hopper hug and trying to talk himself out of every good thing. He felt frozen in amber, feet stuck and eyes locked on the sight before him. He wanted to join them. He wanted to run away. Maybe simply melting into the earth would be easier. It would certainly stop him from having to confront his problems.
Steve blinked and Hopper was staring at him. His gaze was incredibly fond and somewhat exasperated, reminding Steve of everytime Hopper had shown up at his door to drag him away from his big, empty house, of every night he had demanded Steve crash in the guest room instead of driving home.
“Hey there, kid.”
Steve felt part of himself unravel. He could feel the loss of the moments after Starcourt clear as day, and now here Hopper was, living and breathing. His voice was choked when he responded.
“Hey.”
“I thought I warned you about getting yourself torn to pieces again. You look like shit.”
A laugh tore itself from Steve’s throat. This was familiar in a way that ached. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?” he blurted, the shock was dissipating and the return to the old routine was sudden. The corners of Hopper’s mouth curled up into a grin. He lifted one of his arms from where it was wrapped around El, reaching out to Steve.
“Get in here, punk.”
Just like that the amber holding Steve in place seemed to dissolve. His legs moved without permission, carrying him the short distance to where El and Hopper stood. Steve crashed into the man with enough force to make them stagger, but they somehow managed to stay on their feet. Hopper's arms wrapped around Steve, tighter than a vice. El was squashed between them, and Steve held back a smile when he felt her arms around his waist. Steve breathed in deeply for the first time in months and took in the smoky smell of Hopper, the sweet strawberry of El’s shampoo. This is what home felt like.
Steve could feel the eyes of the others on his back, but couldn’t find it in him to pay them any mind. Hopper leaned down, close enough so that only Steve and El could hear his whisper.
“I missed you guys. A lot.”
If Steve wasn’t smiling before, he definitely was now, especially as El giggled beside him. She looked up into Hopper’s eyes.
“We missed you too.”
Hopper then proceeded to ruin the moment by reaching up and ruffling Steve and El’s hair in unison. They both loudly groaned, and Hopper stepped away, tactfully ignoring Steve’s grumbled “What the hell, man?” Hopper clapped his hands.
“Alright, now that we’ve got the emotional reunions out of the way, why don’t we go see what you two have done to the cabin while I’ve been gone.”
Steve and El made eye contact, both their eyes almost comically wide. Out of the corner of his eye Steve could see Dustin, Lucas, and Mike all making frantic throat slashing motions. He hadn’t been back since Starcourt, but had a sudden vision of Nancy recollecting their encounter with the mind flayer’s tentacle-arm things breaking through multiple walls of the cabin.
“Maybe… not a good idea.” El said in the succinct way she tended to speak. Hopper was a lot better at the dad thing than anyone gave him credit for because his eyes immediately narrowed in suspicion.
“Why?” he asked cautiously. Hopper’s eyes turned toward Steve and he choked at the focus.
“Uh, it’s kind of a long story? And definitely not our fault!” Steve added as Hopper turned and made his way up the cabin steps and to the door.
“Jim, wait-” Joyce started, having seen the damage herself earlier.
“Holy shit!” Hopper exclaimed from inside the cabin. “What the hell happened here?”
Steve was more than grateful to have Hopper back, but he knew when it was time to beat a hasty retreat, even though he had nothing to do with the damage to the cabin. He turned back to where Robin still stood, having gracefully dipped into the background when Joyce had shown up with a very much not dead Hopper.
“Robin!” he called “Didn’t you say your mom told you you had to be back by four?”
Robin frowned as he made his way to where she stood. “Uh, yeah, but it’s only 2-” Steve widened his eyes and tried to project as much ‘we need to get out of here stat’ energy in his gaze as possible. If there ever was a time to develop best friend telepathy, that time was now. Thankfully his best friend was amazing. “Oh wait yeah, that’s right! We better get going, wouldn’t want to get caught in that late afternoon Hawkins… traffic.”
Steve didn’t wait a moment for the reality of what they’d said to sink into any of the group, grabbing Robin’s arm and hustling towards where he had parked his car. Inside the cabin he could hear Hopper’s increasingly louder grumblings as he discovered the other decidingly fucked up parts of the cabin.
Steve looked back one last time and met El’s unimpressed gaze. ‘I’m sorry’ he mouthed, and almost tripped over his feet at a harsh tug on his arm from Robin urging him to keep moving. He’d owe El later, big time. But for now, all he cared about was getting the hell away in his car.
As he slipped into the driver’s side of the car Steve could hear Hopper asking where he had gone. He shrugged. That seemed like a problem for Future Steve to deal with. In the grand scheme of things, potentially pissing off a father figure was a wonderfully small problem to have. He’d take that over a demogorgon any day.
As he drove off into the metaphorical sunset with his best friend at his side, another world saving under his belt and his family restored, Steve felt like things might end up okay.