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Ever since he and Ryuzaki had been chained together, nightmares had become a frequent complication for Light. They weren’t his own, though—it was Ryuzaki who woke up in a cold sweat with a jolt almost every night, startling the other awake. It had concerned Light at first, but by now, he was used to it, and he almost expected Ryuzaki to wake up at some point in the night by now.
Tonight was no exception to this pattern. Light had fallen asleep much earlier than Ryuzaki, but he’d woken again at approximately 4 AM upon feeling sudden movements at his side. He watched as Ryuzaki shifted next to him before going unnaturally still. Light counted in his head, one, two, three, four. Ryuzaki turned onto his other side. This continued for several minutes.
Occasionally, Ryuzaki would make quiet sounds, sighs and deep inhales. Light listened, watching as his eyes shut tighter. He put a hand on the pillow next to him, resting it dangerously close to the other’s head. He knew Ryuzaki’s hair was soft. He wondered how the detective would react if he were to touch it.
The tremors started soon after. It was barely noticeable at first, but the rattling of the chain was a dead giveaway. Light bit his lip and wrapped the blanket tighter around Ryuzaki—only to be met with a hand pushing him away. It wasn’t unexpected; Light let him go. When Light looked over again, Ryuzaki was still asleep.
Light wasn’t sure how long he spent watching Ryuzaki. It was definitely longer than he would’ve liked. He should have been asleep, resting and preparing to continue their investigation in the morning. However, sleeping wasn’t the easiest task when he was dealing with the shaking and sighing of the man next to him. And as much as he didn’t like to admit it, Light secretly enjoyed the chance he got to watch Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki was always the last to fall asleep, the first to wake. He watched Light at all times and had surveilled him for months before they were even chained together. Now, the roles were reversed, and Light took great pleasure in these moments and the feelings they ignited in him, for he liked the security and control the situation gave him, but far preferred the gentle feeling of the bond growing between him and Ryuzaki when he got to see him this way. Despite this, Light ultimately decided to tear his gaze from Ryuzaki and lie back down next to him. At the very least, he wanted to get a few more hours of sleep. He mentally repeated this to himself as he closed his eyes and got comfortable.
Just as Light turned to face the wall, Ryuzaki sat up straight, pulling at the chain that connected them. Light bolted up just as fast, putting a hand on Ryuzaki’s shoulder.
“Are you alright?” he asked him. Ryuzaki simply nodded, like always, despite the tremors still wracking his body, like always. And, like always, Ryuzaki had woken up much more exhausted from his nightmare than he had been before going to sleep, so he couldn’t find it in himself to argue when Light gently pulled him down and held him close, like always.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryuzaki shook his head. He never took Light up on the offer, but Light continued to ask anyway. He was sure, at some point, Ryuzaki would want to discuss whatever was haunting him so greatly at night, and who better to discuss it with than the one person in the world who understood him best?
But if Ryuzaki didn’t want to talk, Light wouldn’t force him. Instead, he adjusted their positions so Ryuzaki was snuggled up to his chest. Light pretended not to notice the way he fisted his shirt, as if to make sure Light was still with him and would be staying. He placed a hand on his back, his way of telling him I’m always here.
Light watched Ryuzaki as he slowly closed his eyes and rested his head against his chest. His breathing began to even out, though the shaking never quite stopped. Light kept Ryuzaki there against him for several minutes until he finally fell back asleep, this time looking much more serene.
Light wasn’t sure why he kept doing it. He couldn’t care less about Ryuzaki, and the other certainly wasn’t fond of him. Still, Light always felt the overwhelming urge to hold Ryuzaki after his nightmares, to show him that he would be alright and to offer him comfort. In moments like this, they became different people, understanding each other’s minds and feelings, Kira and L set aside.
But Light didn’t want to dwell on what Light and Ryuzaki could have been in different circumstances, so he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep until his heart was beating in time with L’s shivering.