Work Text:
Hello, I am writing this on the top of snowglobe mountain. If you are reading this, I am dead. I have fallen to the bottom of the mountain and lost my life, or froze to death in the attempt to become one with the ice and snow. I am already freezing, it is hard to type this out.
If you are here to commit the same atrocities that I did, do not. It is my own personal decision to handle my issues this way. I suppose this is karma for my darling leaving me.
I know you all wanted nothing more than for me to stop getting hung up on a woman who doesn't even like me, but I am nothing without her.
If I feel nothing the pain cannot reach me.
If I am dead, the pain cannot reach me.
I remember writing a note of this type when I had my first break up, I was angry and resentful. I didn't understand why the world was punishing me, but I understand,
Why should I be alive when so many others would beg to swap places with me?
Or, the exact opposite. Why should I be alive if people find out about my secrets? What if they hurt me?
I will not have to worry now, for the pain is leaving me as I write this note. I changed my name on a whim, just to impress someone who hated my guts, and used me for her own pleasure.
I don't get it, I really don't. I don't understand how people manage to stay alive when their heart is phsyically and mentally broken like this. My father will have to be captain again, for "CAPT. SPACEBOY" does not exist anymore.
He will be splattered on the floor way below him, or become a beautiful ice sculpture.
My sweet princess, Sweetheart, don't feel bad about my death. I know you did it for a reason, right?
However, that is not important. I think I owe an explanation to you, my crew, and my dad.
After Sweetheart left, I noticed my own self-worth. My own inability to control my emotions and blacking out in either anger, sadness, or happiness. I feel crazy, I cannot regulate myself anymore. Sweetheart makes me feel things I have never felt before, everytime she returns to my side, I cherish her more than the last time.
Now that she is gone, I have nothing left to live for. Everyone else is tired of me changing everything about myself and acting like I do.
I have left my wedding ring in the snow somewhere, as I have no more use for it.
Nobody is coming for me, and I'm happy to die alone. I am far too broken to continue on like this, and my heart has forever been given to Sweetheart. My father must be asking where I am, and that saddens me. Maybe when he sees me, he'll realize what a disappointment of a son I was.
Or to some, what a disappointment of a daugther I was.
I became a disappointment the moment I made that choice, fueling my inner self hatred.
Being myself has brought me here, at the end of this mountain. I hope the permanent ice sculpture I leave looks nice, at least.
— Sincerely, SXH,
or, if you want to keep it traditional...
CSB