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Will's ears rang with those words until he could hear nothing except Mike's voice reciting the speech over and over again. It became more unbearable each time, until he was choking on a scream he knew he would never be able to release.
I felt like my life started that day we found you in the woods.
The day Will Byers had been kidnapped and dragged to the Upside Down, the day he had experienced true fear, the day he felt like his own life had ended. That was the day that Mike chose as the start of his life. Bile rose in Will's throat and he clenched his fist, wishing it would all just go away. He wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. Will had cried too much, he wasn't sure if he had any tears left anymore.
Mike Wheeler had always been everything to him. Will loved his family, and he loved his best friends with all his heart. But he knew, the day he met Mike had been the start of his life. Sitting on the swings with only person that had offered him a hand and a smile, promising that they would be friends forever. Forever felt like a long time ago.
What a short life it had been, too.
The worst part was, he couldn't hate El. Perhaps he did when he first returned from the Upside Down to find his friends all mourning someone he hadn't even met before... But El had been connected to his mind since the day he vanished. She was a constant presence and now that he lived with her, he had genuinely come to see her as a sister. She was family, just as much as mom and Jonathan were family. She was El Hopper-Byers.
Yet he was in love with his sister's boyfriend. In many ways, it felt like El had replaced Will. Things had never been the same between him and Mike since she arrived. When she was there, Mike seemed to forget about him.
Sitting outside Hopper's cabin, Will watched little flecks of white particulate float down from the skies. The air was toxic, he reminded himself, but after spending so long in the Upside Down, he was used to it. He couldn't help but laugh mirthlessly when he realised how insane that was. Besides, he would rather sit here in the toxic air than be inside, watching Mike and El smile at each other and laugh about a joke only they shared.
He felt the figure arrive before he saw them. "Hello, Will."
Speak of the devil... Or perhaps that was the wrong thing to say. Will turned to see his sister, who was staring at him with a wan smile. "May I sit down?" He shrugged and made space for her, unsure whether he was glad that she was here or not.
"Everyone is resting inside," El said after a few minutes. Will nodded, still unable to speak. He hated keeping her in the dark about his feelings, but he didn't want to hurt her by telling her how he felt about everything. El had been through so much, and despite it all she maintained that air of childhood innocence and sweetness that had been ripped away from her.
He hesitated. "I'm sorry about Dr Brenner." El hadn't mentioned him since they escaped Nevada, but he could tell that his death had hit her harder than she let on. After all, he was the closest she got to a parental figure until she met Hopper and Will's mom. El's smile softened, but it was brittle. "Papa was not a good person. He lied to me, just like he lied to One. We are not so different, One and I. Perhaps if I had not escaped..." She faltered.
Will was already shaking his head. "No, El. You could never have become like him. You're such a good person. Remember what Mike-" his breath hitched on the name but he continued for her sake. "What he said. You're a superhero. You saved me from the Upside Down, and you've been saving all of us constantly." He held his hand out for her to take. "I'm really glad you're safe," he said, and he meant it.
A relaxed expression bloomed on El's face, even if there were now tears forming in her eyes. She grasped his hand like a lifeline, and for a long moment, the two of them sat there, soaking in each other's silence.
But of course, good things never lasted long in Will's experience.
"Are you alright?" El asked. Before he could come up with a convincing lie, she continued to speak. "You have been quiet ever since we defeated One." She squeezed his hand. "Friends don't lie, Will. Please tell me what happened." Her simple plea nearly drove Will to tears, which was strange. He didn't know he still had those left in him.
"You're right," he whispered. "It's just... It's Mike." As if that was an entire explanation, El nodded. She didn't say anything though, so he took it as a sign to continue. "I've been thinking about his speech and... And... What he said really hurt." He was crying now, sobs escaping his lips faster than words did. "El, he said his life began on the day he met you but... That was also the day I disappeared. Do I mean nothing to him?"
El's grip on his hand tightened, and she used her other hand to pull him into a hug. "I heard that. That was not nice of him to say, Will. But he did not say that to hurt you." There was a brief pause. "Mike and I have decided to break up."
"What?" Will pulled back immediately to survey her face for any signs of sadness. "I just saw you two inside and you were laughing with each other!" El nodded, her expression lightening. "It was a decision that we both felt was good for each other. I love Mike a lot, but not..." She frowned, as if unable to come up with the correct word.
Will couldn't help but giggle at her furrowed brows. The gesture was so El. "Romantically?" Will suggested, and she nodded at him gratefully. "Romantically," she echoed.
A spark of hope lit in Will's chest but he reminded himself not to let it grow. "Hey El..." He began slowly. "I like boys." To be honest, he wasn't sure why he blurted it out so abruptly, but it felt like the moment. El tilted her head. "Okay," she said, and that was it. Will blinked. "Did you hear me? I like boys." She looked confused now. "I did hear you. Is there something wrong with liking boys, Will? I like boys too." The words startled a laugh out of Will.
All his life, he had been mocked and bullied relentlessly for his preference towards the same gender. People often called him derogatory names and until the Party, he hadn't found solace in an actual group of people who liked him. Even the Party weren't fully aware of his sexuality, though. And here El was, with her innocent queries.
"That's right, magic girl. Nothing wrong with it."
The Byers siblings both shifted their attention to Eddie Munson, who stood in the doorway with his signature grin. Steve stood next to him, lightly shoving him while muttering something about his penchant for nicknames.
Will didn't know Eddie that well, given that he was the newest addition to Hawkins' resident crime fighting squad. But there was something about Eddie that relaxed Will, a sense of familiarity that he didn't quite feel with anyone else.
Steve shot Will a warm smile, then turned to El. "Max wants to talk to you, she's in your room." El nodded but didn't leave until she gave her brother a final, crushing hug. Will returned it with equal affection; he was relieved that he got to have this talk with her before everything went to shit. It felt like a huge weight had lifted off his shoulders.
As soon as she was gone, Eddie slid into the empty seat. "Sorry about overhearing that, Byers Junior. I promise not to mention it to anyone but if you want me to forget about it, consider it done." He glanced up at Steve. "Isn't that right, Harrington?" Steve agreed without hesitation. Will considered it for a moment, but shook his head. "No, that's okay. I trust you." To his surprise, Steve's eyes misted over.
Eddie ruffled his hair. "Appreciate the trust, but you don't even know me yet."
Will smiled. "The keyword being yet," he reminded him. "I feel comfortable around you for some reason and if the Party likes you, I trust their judgement. Especially Dustin, he's good at picking the right people."
When Eddie smiled, the skin around his eyes crinkled like parchment paper. "You're almost too sweet, Byers Junior. Tell me, is everyone in your family this likeable or are you the exception?" Will laughed slightly. "I would say it's all of us, but Steve wouldn't agree with me." Steve gasped, his hand covering his heart in mock offense. "That was years ago. King Steve was kind of a douchebag anyway." The two of them exchanged grins.
Eddie raised his hands in a timeout sign. "Hang on! Stevie, you've been holding out on me! Did you not like this wonderful child in your glory days?" He said accusingly. Steve's jaw dropped. "Glory days?" He repeated in an incredulous tone. "I'll have you know that these are still my glory days, Munson. And for the record, I always liked Will. Jonathan on the other hand..." He sighed. "But those days are long gone. Jonathan is cool with me."
Their antics were enough to make Will laugh, and it helped considerably. Even though Mike's words still hurt, this took the sting off just a bit. He appreciated that they were here for him.
"How do the Party know you anyway?" Will asked curiously. Confusion filled Eddie's face. "Didn't they tell you?" He said, and when Will shook his head, he rolled his eyes. "Leave it to them to forget. They were in Hellfire with me, we played DnD together." Will froze. "They played DnD without me?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Eddie's eyes widened. "I'm going to give those little shitheads a piece of my mind," he muttered. Steve nodded from above them, his own expression indignant.
Will cast his gaze downwards, feeling the negative sting return. Mike hadn't told him about any new DnD clubs but that was to be expected, he hadn't even written to Will for a whole year. But Dustin and Lucas not telling him? That hurt more than he would like to admit. He knew he'd been drifting apart from his friends, but...
"Hey, Byers Junior." Eddie nudged him gently. "I'm sorry they didn't tell you, but they talked about you all the time."
The younger boy perked up. "They did?" Eddie laughed. "Oh yeah. You're Will the Wise, I've heard so much about you. They all told me about how smart you are, and how you've saved them multiple times." His smile shifted into something a little more mischievous. "Especially Wheeler. That kid doesn't shut up about you. Half the campaigns were him arguing with the others over what you would've done if you were there. Man, I think I learned everything about you from them."
"Thanks, Eddie but Mike wouldn't have talked about me," Will said sadly. "He barely wrote to me for a whole year. I know El is his girlfriend-" he recalled what she had told him earlier and corrected himself. "Was his girlfriend, but it would've been nice to just hear from him. It didn't seem like he missed me a lot."
Steve looked like he was ready to beat Mike up then and there, but Eddie's touch calmed him down enough that he didn't leave just yet. Will glanced between the two of them, longing for something that he'd never had.
Eddie smiled. "Trust me. Mike's been going through something, and it'd be better for him to tell you than anyone else. He's mentioned you more times than anyone else. I've only heard about the superhero girl a couple of times. But you've come up so many times that after this is all over, I want to play a session of DnD with you." A slow smile spread across Will's face in response. "It's a deal," he said and shook Eddie's hand.
The rapping of someone's knuckles on the wooden doorway distracted the three of them. It was Max, alongside Dustin and Lucas. She nodded at Steve and Eddie. "Mom said it's my turn to talk to Will."
"Who's mom-" Steve began, but Nancy's voice cut through his from inside the house. "I sent her!"
There was no arguing with that. Steve and Eddie got up to leave, but just before they did, Eddie crouched beside Will. "He'll come around, Byers Junior." The metalhead glanced at Steve almost imperceptibly. "Just give em a little time." Oblivious to that little comment, Steve took Eddie's hand and glared at Dustin and Lucas. "You two, we need to talk." Their protests were drowned out by Steve's firm, "You can come back here in a few minutes."
Max plopped down where Eddie had been a few seconds ago, entirely uncaring that Dustin and Lucas had been marched inside by Steve. She smiled at Will wryly. "Hey. How are you?"
Like El, Max wasn't really someone that Will was close to. He liked her, but the two of them had never gotten time to bond as much. He still appreciated the company though. "I'm good." He knocked her shoulder with his. "How about you? Vecna was particularly ruthless in Hawkins, I've heard." Max scoffed. "What's new there? This whole town is a monster magnet."
Under his watchful gaze, she sighed. "I'm fine. Seriously. Things have been kind of weird, but I'm glad we all came out of it safe. I just hope I can let go of my guilt." Max was usually so tough that seeing this vulnerable side of her activated Will's emotional instincts. "I understand," he said. "Back when I was possessed by the Mind Flayer... A lot of people died because of me. My mom's boyfriend died too. He was a good person. It feels like their blood is on my hands."
"That wasn't your fault," Max immediately stated. Will smiled at her. "Billy's death wasn't your fault either."
Max leaned back on her hands. "I was talking to El earlier, she said her and Mike broke up. She wasn't sad about it which is good, but Wheeler's been an ass lately." Will wasn't sure why she was telling him this, but he laughed drily. "Yeah, he really has. I wish I knew what's going on with him."
"I bet you could find out," she said. "I mean, when I first joined the Party, you and Mike were closer than anyone else. Even more than El and Mike. Honestly, I thought-" she seemed to realise what she was saying and switched tracks. "Anyway. He hasn't talked much to anyone inside while you've been out here. After I grilled him about El, I saw Nancy talking to him and then came out here. But I wanted to make sure you were okay before he talked to you."
Will felt touched. "I'm okay, Max. Thank you," he told her sincerely. Max half smiled. "Don't get sappy on me. We never got to be friends anyway." Will held his hand out. He'd been doing that a lot. "We can start today."
That brought a wide, genuine grin to Max's face. "Today it is." They shook hands.
The sound of arguments signalled Dustin and Lucas' arrival. Will wasn't sure what they were bickering about now, but the second they saw Will, they both burst into simultaneous apologies. Their words blended with each other, creating a cacophony of sound that was entirely indecipherable. Max looked at Will and rolled her eyes. He had to chuckle at that.
"Hey!" Max huffed. "One at a time." Dustin and Lucas exchanged looks, and before Will could react, they engulfed him in a huge hug. Will squeaked in surprise but it was pleasant, and he wrapped his arms around them too.
"We're so sorry, Will. We should've written to you more often and called. We've been so caught up in our own lives that we didn't even notice anything else," Dustin whispered. Lucas nodded in agreement. "He's right. I haven't been a good friend to anyone in the Party this past year. Especially not to you, El and Max." He met Max's eyes above Will's head. The redhead smiled reassuringly, and Lucas returned the smile.
"But we still love you, you're our best friend!" They chimed together, finally in perfect sync. Will's eyes filled with tears for the third time. "I love you too and always will," he responded with a watery smile. "I've missed you guys so much." They held onto him tighter. "We've missed you too, Will."
The door opened again. This time, it was Jonathan.
Mike's voice echoed faintly. "I want to talk to him! Why does everyone else get a chance before me?" He sounded like a petulant child, and Nancy said something berating him but Will couldn't hear because Jonathan shut the door.
"Your turn?" Will guessed. His brother grinned and nodded at Max. She gave Will's hand a final squeeze before ushering the other two inside. Will called after them, promising to talk more later.
Jonathan took the now familiar seat. "Hi," he said. "Feeling better?" Will smiled up at him. "Did you all plan this while I was out here?" He asked teasingly. Jonathan laughed and fondly ruffled his hair like Eddie had. "Once El decided to talk to you, Mike wanted to do that too. The rest of us all wanted a turn before that, so Max, Robin and Nancy distracted Mike while we decided who would go next." It was an absolutely ridiculous plan, but Will's heart swelled with love for all of them.
He was glad that his brother was here. Will took a deep breath. "Jonathan, I'm gay." He'd never admitted the words before, even though he'd unofficially come out to El some time ago. Jonathan's answering smile was blindingly proud. "You're always going to be my little brother," he promised, embracing Will.
"And you're always going to be my big brother," Will replied, his voice muffled by Jonathan's shirt. He felt his big brother's laugh before he heard it. "Yeah? What about Eddie?" Jonathan was teasing him too. Will shook his head adamantly. "Eddie is cool, but nobody could ever beat you." Jonathan's smile only widened. "Okay," he said.
There was no need for long speeches, or multiple words. Will knew he could talk to Jonathan about anything, and he was content to live with that. Today was about repairing his relationships with people.
Speaking of people, the door was nearly taken off its hinges by a very desperate Mike Wheeler. He was being held back by Lucas and Steve, but still struggled vehemently. "Come on! I have to talk to him too! He's been sitting out there for ages and you know we'll have to bring him in soon." Jonathan raised an eyebrow at Will, asking a silent question. All Will had to do was nod, and Jonathan stood. As he passed Mike, he said something vaguely threatening, but Mike wasn't phased.
Then the door slammed shut, and the only two people on the porch were Mike and Will.
Mike's cheeks were rosy pink, his wide brown eyes focusing their attention solely on Will. He blushed under their intense stare. Mike had always had that effect on him, whether he like it or not. But today's Mike seemed to be having trouble forming the correct sentences, which would have been unfathomable to the Mike of the past. When they were kids, Mike was the only one who Will was truly himself around. The only one to whom Will spoke constantly.
Best friends could talk to each other without hesitation. So what caused Mike to hesitate so much?
"I'm sorry," Mike finally said. The two words burst out of him breathlessly, as if he had been holding them in. And like a bursting dam, everything started to flow and Mike began his rant.
"I've been a complete ass for so long and there's no excuse for that. Things have been so fucking... So difficult since you and El moved to Lenora. Our group split apart and I kept thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about. Not when I have a girlfriend." He laughed a little. "I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore, huh? Everything was just so confusing. I mean, how pathetic is a guy who can't tell his girlfriend he loves her?" Mike's eyes shot up to meet Will's.
There was an odd desperation in them, as if he wanted Will to understand what he was saying without actually having to say it. This was Mike's specialty, rambling about a topic without getting to the subject matter. It was the reason he was so prone to speeches when he felt strongly about something, because he couldn't say the words.
Will's hand inched closer to Mike's but he wasn't sure if he should take it. If he could take it. "Mike, breathe," he told his friend cautiously. "I understand what you're saying, but you aren't pathetic." It felt familiar, the two of them falling into their clockwork pattern of comforting the other whenever the situation arose.
Mike averted his gaze. "The speech I gave El was bullshit. It was bullshit. I love her, but not in the way I should. I just wanted to give her the courage to find Vecna, and I said whatever came to mind in that moment. But I was wrong." It was Mike who clasped Will's hand, steeling himself to look into his eyes. "My life began the day I met her, but it was because my life felt like it had ended when I heard you were missing. She was the hope that you were alive, out there somewhere."
Hearing that made Will's heart skip a beat. He swallowed thickly. "Mike... You don't have to say that just to comfort me. I'm fine-" but Mike wasn't done. Not in the slightest.
"It's not to comfort you. It's the truth. After everything, you deserve to know the truth. Because I did write to you, and I did notice the way your eyes lit up when you saw me in the airport, and I did notice how upset you were, and I did notice that you cried in the van after you showed me the painting."
"But you didn't say anything," Will mumbled.
"I know. I didn't say anything because..." Mike hesitated, panic rising in his chest. Was he really going to admit something this heavy? He looked at Will. His best friend Will, who he felt so protective over, and who was always there for him. The Will that Mike had known for years, since their fateful meeting at a swing set of all places. The Will that Mike knew would always be the most important to him, especially since he nearly lost him to the Upside Down.
Mike had lost Will once. He wasn't going to lose him again.
"I didn't say anything because in all my scrapped letters to you, I wrote something that I wasn't able to write to El. And it changed everything for me. I've been struggling with understanding it since, but I think... I think I can understand it now that I'm with you." Mike's thumb brushed against Will's knuckles and he smiled for the first time since they had begun their conversation. Will's heart was beating so fast he wondered if Mike could hear it too. "What is it?" He whispered.
"I love you," Mike answered. "Will Byers, I love you." The sheer conviction in his voice drove Will to tears again and this time he didn't hold anything back. Mike automatically wrapped his arms around him as he had been aching to do since he saw Will at the airport. For a while they sat there, just thankful for each other.
When Will pulled away, he noticed that Mike was crying too, pearly tears rolling down his cheeks. "I love you too, Mike. I've loved you for so long." Mike cupped his face lovingly, wiping away stray tears with his thumb.
There was no hesitation as the two leaned in. Will's lips were soft and sweet, but Mike could taste the salt of their tears pooling on their lips and couldn't help but smile into the kiss. Will smiled too but it was equally involuntary for him; when Mike smiled, he felt happy. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, Will," Mike said as they broke apart. "But if you're okay with it, would you begin your life again with me?"
And Will beamed. "That sounds okay," he said, and he meant it.