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There is a beautiful uncertainty that lies within a still sea.
Perhaps that was because of the unusual aspect of such a thing.
The sea was constantly moving, flowing, splashing.
So, to have that water be calm was something pirates like himself were unused to.
Stede leaned against the railing on the ship’s deck, his pajama coat flowing slightly in the breeze.
After months back at sea, he was much better adjusted than the last time he set out.
Back on the revenge, he was naive and rather sheltered.
Now however, the hands resting upon worn wood were rough and calloused.
He had more experience, had gone out and done more things, had loved many more adventures.
His heart was never fully in any of it.
How could it be, when his heart was long gone?
He had no idea where it was, whether it was okay, where it would ever forgive him.
Stede heaved a sigh, basking in the warm glow of the setting sun.
A bird flew by in the distance, letting out a call that echoed across the sea, muffled by the breeze.
If he were close enough, perhaps he could’ve seen the reflection of the sunset in the bird’s eye.
At that moment, the wood of the deck creaked somewhere behind him, as footsteps wandered closer and closer to him.
“Waiting for something?” Ask Lucius, pausing when he was next to the captain.
“Well, we’re all waiting for something .” Stede shot back, “So you might want to specify.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m a busy man. There’s so much in waiting on, mind refreshing me?”
“You’re waiting for him still, aren’t you?”
The air between them stilled, more so than the water.
“I came back for a reason.” The gentleman pirate replied, “Pirating was part of it, so I’m doing quite alright.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I know- but you already know the answer too, don’t you?”
Lucius took a deep breath.
“He’s gotten worse,” Said the crew mate, “Jim sent another letter.”
Stede’s frown deepened, and he stared out at the slowly rising moon with eyes that were filled with sorrow.
“He’s become more ruthless. More violent. More drunk.”
The more words, the more the captain’s heart sank.
“You have to face him at some point.”
“I know.”
“He’s going to destroy himself.”
“I won’t let him.”
The silence stretched on.
Stars slowly peaked out, welcome in the night.
The air grew cooler.
Lucius drew another breath.
“Are you really okay letting it end like this?” He asked, “He thinks you didn’t want him, Stede. I thinks you don’t love him.”
“I-“
“And don’t try to deny it,” the scribe cut in, “because we both know damn well that’d be a lie- the worst lie you’ve ever told at that.”
“…Seeing him will only make things worse. I don’t want to hurt him again.”
At this point, his patience was through.
“So what, you’ll just stay with us, raiding people and playing happy pirate and learning every possible news about him through letters that don’t always make it to us until you die?”
He huffed, his breath much warmer than the air around them.
“Out of all I took you for, Stede, I never took you for this much of a coward.”
He rested his hand on his friend’s shoulder as the man in question remained silent.
“You’re the captain. Just give us the word, and we’ll figure out a way to help you.”
With that Lucius left, wood creaking and footsteps growing further and further until they disappeared.
Alone once again, only then did he allow himself to cry.
He felt everything all at once, the pain and the guilt, the hope and the regret.
Tears spilled, pouring down his face that was illuminated only by moonlight.
His shoulders shook, and slowly the tears dripped into the large expanse of water down below.
In the silence of the lonely night, only his sobs could be heard.
———
The boat was one they’d claimed as a prize of one of the crew’s very first raids after Stede returned.
Well, as much of the crew as they had, anyway.
At least he’s found them before anyone actually ate anyone else.
As they drifted through the sea, no longer sat in the still water of the beach they’d stopped at the night before, Stede’s mind was still plagued with all different kinds of what-ifs.
He pretended like he was fine, just like he always did when his mind started to wander to… him.
No one ever said anything, but he was sure they all knew when he was thinking far too much, and they tried their best to cheer him up whoever that happened.
Frenchie sang a happy song, roach made Om of those lavish orange cakes, buttons went on a very long spiel about nothing, even Black Pete was more lively.
It made the gentleman pirate smile a bit wider, knowing how much his crew cared.
It did little to fill the void where his heart should’ve been.
As the rest of the crew ate lunch, Oluwande pulled their captain aside.
“Captain,” he said, the hot midday sun beating down on them, “Lucius told you about the letter, didn’t he?”
The man beside him nodded.
“You don’t have to rush your decision. Jim just meant it offhandedly- well, okay, maybe we’d been planning it for a while, but that doesn’t mean we have to go through with anything, so-“
Stede looked at him with a confused expression on his face, blinking.
“What decision? What plan? What are you talking about ?” He asked, puzzled.
“…So he left it for me to tell you.” The crew mate sighed, “Listen. No matter what I’m about to say, don’t get upset okay?“
After a moment of hesitation, Stede nodded.
“Me and Jim have been trying to meet again. We… well, we knew it wasn’t going to work out well, with Blackbeard acting how he is and all.” He explained, “But then I had an idea- what if we brought our whole crew to the same place that the revenge was going? Then, you two could reconcile, and we could get our ship back.”
The captain stood there, dumbfounded.
“And you’ve already got it planned out?” He whispered, almost disbelieving.
“Yeah. They… well, they sent a location in the letter, and we’re on course to hit it within a day.”
The sun continued with it’s hot waves, and sweat made Stede’s clothes cling to his body uncomfortably.
Still, not as uncomfortable as how he felt in that moment.
“How… how could you do all of this? Do you have any idea what an awful idea it is?” He asked finally.
“Well,” Oluwande thought for a moment, “I guess love makes even the worst of ideas seem amazing.”
———
In his 30 years of life, Stede Bonnet had never felt more nervous.
When they hit the shore, he could hear his heart thumping in his chest, the sound ringing through his ears.
His palms were sweating uncomfortably, and he continually adjusted his sleeves.
The crew could sense his nervousness, but at first no one understood what it was for.
By the time Oluwande let them know the plan, the ship had already hit the dock, and there was no time for worry.
While the others got the ship ready, Lucius and Stede wandered into the town the dock belonged to, looking for the most important part of the plan.
They wandered the streets, looking slightly out of place, for Stede’s taste in rather exquisite outfits clashed with the more commonly appearance of most of the townsmen.
“Mommy, who are those?” A child asked, pointing towards the two of them.
His mother tugged the child closer to her.
“We don’t talk to those people,” she chided, “don’t point either.”
As they passed, the gentleman pirate turned and smiled at the child, before they walked away.
Ding !
They entered a tavern that fell silent at the sight of them.
“…You’re new in town, huh?” Said the bartender.
“Indeed we are.” Stede replied with a grin, “Don’t worry, we’re not here to bother anyone.”
The bartender sized him up for a moment, before going back to cleaning cups.
Once the man no longer payed attention to them, the rest of the patrons continued their chatter, resolutely forgetting their presence.
Well, all except for one.
“Are you pirates?” Asked a plump woman, taking initiative to walk up to them.
Lucius looked concerned, but the gentleman pirate merely chuckled.
“Why yes- in fact, I’m the ship’s captain.”
At the statement, the woman brightened up.
“The name’s Elizabeth!” She said, stretching out a hand, “If you need any help, I’ll do everything I can. I’ve never met a pirate before, let alone one as well groomed as you!”
“Well, I’m afraid we won’t be needing your help.” Lucius cut in, before he remembered something.
He cleared his throat before he spoke again.
“Actually…”
———
“We’re nearing the land, captain.” Reported Izzy, “however…”
“However?” His captain echoed.
“However, there’s a ship near us. It seems to be deserted, except for a woman tied up.”
“That’s pretty fucking weird!” Calico Jack laughed, “I wanna see what the fuck happened.”
“…We might as well loot it.” Blackbeard replied, “Get ready to board. I’ll come with.”
It was only then that Jim spoke up.
“I’ll go with.” They said, “‘Seems fishy.”
“Everything’s fishy out here, ain’t it?” Joked jack, breaking out into rather obnoxious laughter.
“Go ahead.” The captain replied, ignoring his friend, before turning around and slamming the door to the captains quarters.
“Someone’s moody.” Jack scoffed, “That time of month ya think?”
It earned him two smacks, from Izzy and Jim respectively.
———
Not too long later, they boarded the boat, and the woman immediately struggled greatly against her restraints.
As the others looked over the ship deck, he walked over and cut off her restraints.
The woman gasped for air, dried tears crinkled against her cheeks, and she rushed towards him.
“Thank you!” She cried, “Oh thank you, thank you so much for saving me!”
Blackbeard glared at her, slowly moving her to a comfortable distance.
“What happened?” He asked, though it was more of a demand for an explanation then a question.
“You see,” she said as the captain gestured for the others to keep looking through the boat, “me and my husband were traveling with a friend of his when our ship was raided by pirates!” She exclaimed, “they killed him but left me alive… I was terrified! I was oh so terrified, oh thank you, thank you for saving me!”
She cried and clung to the captain once again.
“Captain,” Izzy called, “We found these assholes hiding.”
He, Jack, and Jim returned, along with… the old revenge crew?
“These motherfuckers really tried to ambush us!” Jack huffed, kicking one to the ground that Blackbeard definitely didn’t know was called The Swede.
“I suppose we kill them right away?” Jim asked, showing no hesitation for their once comrades.
The ambushers sat with baited breath, waiting for his reply.
Blackbeard shook the woman off with ease, before nodding.
“Kill them all.” He said, “They had their chance at that island.”
His hand shook, a practically unnoticeable sign of fear, of humanity-
Of weakness.
He pretended not to notice.
Izzy nodded, and moved to strike at the first crew mate his eyes landed on, when the woman shrieked.
“WAIT!” She yelled, hurting everyone’s ears, friend or foe.
All eyes turned to her.
“What do you want?” Blackbeard scoffed, “shouldn’t you be like- fucking- crying and thanking us for killing your captors?”
“They’re- they’re not my captors.” She confessed, making the man in front of her scoff.
“Seriously? Even damsels in distress can be bought now, fuck me…” he sighed, “Hurry up and get this over with.”
“Don’t kill anyone yet!” She practically wailed, making Blackbeard cover his ears.
“Okay, okay, Jesus, no one’s dead yet. Hurry up and make your point.” He huffed.
“There’s someone you didn’t find.” She said, “Someone better than any of them. Someone you despise more than anyone in the world.”
Anyone with brains would assume it was just a diversion, an attempt to by more time for her friends to escape.
However, a small part of the captain, a part of him that hadn’t been properly locked away, yearned to hear if it was what he thought it could be.
“Mate, he’s fucking Blackbeard. He kills everyone!” Said Jack, trying to spit in the deck only for it to land on one of the ambushers.
“That was my face, my face!” Black Pete wailed.
He pretended not to remember his name, either.
“See, you know who I mean. You know who I’m talking about.” She said, scrambling to move closer to him.
“The one you hate the most out of everyone in this world is here-“
Part of him wanted to shoot her dead right there.
Another part of him waited with baited breath for her next words.
That part won.
She stared him in the eyes as she spoke, “Stede Bonnet.”
“Stede Bonnet is dead.“ He said.
He pretended again that his voice didn’t shake slightly as the word ‘dead’ left his mouth.
The sentence felt foreign, wrong, bad, awful .
He ignored the terrible feeling that pooled in his gut when those words fell upon everyone’s ears, and for a moment, everything was silent.
Even the water felt still.
But just like the water will always be wild, silence will always be interrupted, and interrupted it was.
“You’re right, Stede Bonnet is dead.” a voice- a familiar voice, too familiar of a voice- said.
He felt his heart sink deeper and deeper, as the Blackbeard mask he’d been hiding behind slowly cracked, revealing the broken man underneath.
“However, captain Thomas isn’t!”
———
Blackbeard turned to face where the noise was coming from, and there he was in all of his glory, looking not a day older from the last time he’d had ever laid eyes on his face.
Stede Bonnet.
“I’m going to kill you…” he whispered, before it grew louder into a yell, “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!”
He lunged forward, giving everyone on the boat barely any time to process what was going on.
However, he never pulled a trigger.
He never unsheathed a dagger.
He never drew a single weapon.
Instead, he used only his fists.
He hit, hard at first, though they gradually landed softer and softer against the other man’s chest.
It was at that moment that the mask fully slipped.
Edward Teach, the man he had tried so hard to bury beneath a rough exterior, was finally front and center once more.
“You mother fucker…” Ed cried, still hitting him.
“YOU MOTHER FUCKER! HOW COULD YOU-“ his voice cracked under the pressure of his crying, “How could you… come back… how could you fucking come back after leaving me like that? You… fucking… dick -“
He broke off into a heart wrenching sob, hands resting against Stede’s chest no longer hitting him.
Stede hugged the other softly, gently, like Ed was a piece of priceless fine China he couldn’t ever afford to break.
As if he were delicate, fragile.
It broke something inside of him.
“You fucking left me after all of that-“ he said between tears, “you didn’t come back. Why the hell are you here now? I could’ve- I could’ve killed you the moment I met your eye again.”
“Oh darling,” Stede said softly, pressing their foreheads together, “You’d never do that to me.”
“How can you sound so sure? I’m mother fucking Blackbeard, Stede, killing you is easier for me than breathing.”
The gentleman pirate still hugged him gently, just with a little more pressure.
“I’ve fucked up a few things.” He said.
Ed practically snorted at the down statement.
“Okay, a lot of things. That night, when I left, when I went back- it wasn’t to hurt you. It wasn’t to abandon you. I… I am many things, and a coward is certainly one of them, Ed- but I will never take back what I said that night. Because I meant it, and I know you meant it too. That’s why I know you would never truly try to harm me.”
Ed opened his eyes, still watery and sniffing, and stared into Stede’s.
They were so honest, so pure, so familiar .
He almost burst into tears again.
“Then why ?” He asked, “Why did you run? Why did you leave? Why did you abandon me? Why did you never show up on that stupid fucking doc?”
Stede took a deep breath, “When I was on my way to you, Chauncey found me. He was drunk, and he had a gun and- god Ed, I thought I was going to die, I thought I deserved it- but he tripped. He tripped and shot himself.”
Suddenly everything made a lot more sense.
“The last thing he talked about was how I… how I’d managed to ruin a reputable pirate. I thought- I thought if I left, if I let you go, then you’d be better. Happier.”
Ed’s heart was breaking all over again, in the middle of his old crew- of Stede’s crew and his crew- but he couldn’t find it in himself to care about the tons of eyes staring at them so intently.
“I was the biggest coward to ever cower that night- and I did everything so terribly wrong. I did you so terribly wrong. And I shall spend my entire life trying to fix that mistake if that’s what it takes.”
Ed paused for a moment.
“Your entire life?” He echoed, “You’re not going to want to spend that long with me.”
“But I do, I really do!” Stede exclaimed, “I’m madly in love with this man named Edward Teach, have you ever heard of him? He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I’ll do everything in my power to see him back to his old self.”
The declaration almost fried his brain.
“You- you what ?” He gaped.
“I love you.” The man hugging him repeated, “I’m in love with you. Terribly so. Awfully so. Stupidly so.”
Tears fell again.
“And I understand that you don’t feel the same, how could you with what I put you through-“ The gentleman pirate rambled.
“Stede?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
Ed knew he wasn’t going to stay quiet that easily, so he surged forward, pressing their lips together to really make his point.
Stede eagerly returned the favor.