Chapter Text
Saturday, October 9 (Pt. 3)
The script from your argument is already replaying in your mind the moment you stalk outside to wait for your mom. Thankfully it’s too cold to reasonably want to cry, so you simply fume.
“You thought what? That you could avoid getting into trouble if the news came from my trusted lieutenant?”
“I thought I’d made it perfectly clear what was expected of you.”
You grit your teeth. Silco had no right to talk to you like that. And yet your own biting words follow you as you pace the other way across the wooden landing.
“Let me do things my way. ”
"Because that's worked out well so far."
"You're one to talk."
Your hands keep finding their way into your hair, most of which has long since escaped the chopsticks. You yank them out and start to fiddle with them as frustration melts into insecurity.
“You know what they say about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, right?”
You flinch.
Did you really call Silco insane and a bad father in one five minute conversation?
But you weren’t wrong! He overreacted, and nothing is going to change if he won’t let go. And Jinx should know better than to run off without telling anyone by now.
Which is why Silco was afraid. Jinx is the one person he loves most, and the one person he can’t control.
And he probably has no idea what to do about it.
You bite your lip and look back at the front door. Maybe you overreacted too. Maybe you should have had a little more compassion and understanding. Maybe if you go back inside, and apologize…
Your hand freezes on the door handle.
But what if he doesn’t want to talk to you after this? And what if he decides he doesn’t want you to manage The Last Drip anymore?
You stand there, frozen, trying to talk yourself out of a tree until someone behind you clears their throat.
“Sorry,” You mutter, and you take a few hasty steps away from the door.
The group of strangers pass you with odd looks, and it’s enough to fluster you into a nearby chair.
If you're really thinking about it, now is probably not the best time to go back inside and plead your case with Silco. You’re not in a good frame of mind, and you’re just as likely to say something stupid as improve the situation.
You need time to think, and cool off.
You both do.
A car horn heralds the arrival of your mother, and you hurry down the steps towards a familiar dark blue sedan pulling up to the curb. Just before opening the passenger door you look up to the third story window, overlooking the parking lot. A figure stands silhouetted in the window, and your heart jumps for a moment before settling into disappointment.
It’s just Charles.
For a moment you search the other windows, hoping that Silco might appear, but it’s a fool’s hope. You slide silently into the car, and with a quiet welcome your mother shifts into drive. The murmur of 40’s jazz fills the cab. You're lost in your thoughts, and it isn't until you release an unconscious sigh that you feel your mom’s hand rest on top of yours.
“Bad day?”
“More like one gigantic mess of a week.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
She squeezes your hand, and it takes several long minutes before your mind is organized enough for you to actually find where you want to begin. Then after taking a deep breath, you take the plunge and tell her everything.
Well, almost everything. You leave out all the bits that involve you and Silco because you already know exactly what she’ll have to say about that, but everything else is fair game. Most of the time you jump around, tangling the timeline in a confusing muddle, but the more you talk the more clearly your real worries rise to the surface.
Your anxiety about being manager, your warring care and frustration for Jinx, your continued mixed feelings about Marcus and Allie, Silco’s general behavior.
The only time you pause to take a breath is when you get to your parents’ house, where you spend half an hour changing into a pair of borrowed pajamas, washing your face, and grabbing a cup of coffee before having to explain to your worried mother how you got such an ugly bruise on your cheek.
“It was an accident. I ran into one of Jinx’s easels and the blue block glasses broke on my face.”
It wasn’t a total lie. Jinx had thrown that piece of the easel rather forcefully, so you could argue the case that it ran into you rather than you running into it. At least it was close enough to the truth for it to ring true.
“I’ve been putting arnica on it, and it doesn’t hurt much anymore. It just looks like I got into a fist fight and lost.”
Troubled eyes glint from behind thick rim glasses as she fishes the tea bag from her cup. If there’s one thing your mother can do, it’s smell out a lie. You decide to change the subject before she can inspect yours any closer.
“Speaking of easels, Jinx has her first show coming up next Friday. She left The Fissures tonight because she wanted to show her finished pieces to Ekko.”
“Thomas’ son? Silco’s driver?”
“Yep. She didn’t tell me until I texted her, which is one of the reasons Silco and I got into that fight.”
“And you called him a bad father.”
There’s no judgment in your mother’s voice, but you still wince.
You know she understands better than anyone the problems that come with speaking first and thinking later. Her and Allie might share the same face, but you both share the curse of being too honest for your own good, and wielding your words like knives.
You and she have cut each other countless times over the years, which has thankfully only made your relationship stronger. You just hope that will turn out to be the case for you and Silco.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve been busy since we last talked.”
A familiar, thoughtful intensity has settled on her face.
You sigh. “Can I have a few more minutes to wallow before you ruin the rest of my night with a plague of self reflection?”
Her smile eases the expression for a moment, and shows the deep dimples in her cheeks. Another trait she shares with Allie.
“Alright, but I’m only giving it to you because I need to use the ladies room. When I come back I expect to have your full attention.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
She stands up with a groan. A grandfather ticks and tocks from the front hall as you fiddle with your mug. The large head of a crowing rooster watches you stare moodily into the murky depths of your coffee. You’re here for your mother’s world famous listening skills and good advice, but if things go as they usually do, you'll soon be looking into the deepest darkest corners of your soul to root out some uncomfortable truths.
In an effort to bolster yourself for the possible storm ahead, you finish your coffee, stretch, then head to the kitchen for a second cup. By the time you make it back to the living room your mother is settling back in. She takes her time arranging the well worn pumpkin blanket on her lap before reaching for her mug.
“So, let’s start with the elephant in the room, shall we?”
Oh boy, here we go.
“Your sister told me that you’re interested in someone.”
Of all the elephants congregated in this small, country style living room, you’d hoped (foolishly) that she wouldn’t notice the terribly confused one bearing Silco on its back.
Though you can't tell if Allie told your mom it was Silco, or not.
You take a sip of coffee to stall, but it's not providing the liquid courage you’d hoped for. You’re feeling rather cowardly, now that it comes down to it, and you decide the best defense is to say nothing at all
A calculating but disappointed look enters her eyes, and unspoken are the words: Have you fallen for your boss, again?
"It sounds like Silco is a difficult boss to work for."
Trying to be wary and vulnerable at the same is difficult work.
You answer her as carefully as you can. “He isn’t anything like Jeremiah. He isn't an a-hole. He doesn’t cheat people, or play low ball. He might be a little cut throat to competitors, but he does exactly what he says he’s going to do. He’s a good boss.”
“I’d believe you if you hadn’t spent the last hour complaining about him.”
A fair point, but has less to do with him being your boss than something else (which you’re not willing to put words to out loud).
You change tack.
“Honestly, he’s just been frustrating to deal with because I haven’t figured out how he works yet. I know he’s very particular about what he wants and how he wants it to be done, and he doesn’t roll with other opinions or sudden changes very well.”
“He sounds unreasonable.”
“But he isn’t! One of the reasons I like him... or I mean appreciate him as a boss, is because he’s honest and willing to talk. I just… haven’t figured out how to communicate with him in a way that doesn’t end in an argument, that’s all.”
“Hmm.”
You resist the urge to jump to his defense. “Not that it matters. After tonight I probably won't be seeing much of him anyway. In fact, by tomorrow morning I might not even have a job. He’d be well within his rights to fire me for being an argumentative pain in his butt.”
“I’d say Sevika is more of a pain to deal with, and he keeps her around.”
“Only because they have a history.”
“The point still stands, you’re clearly the best candidate he has right now for managing his shop, and he won’t discard that just because you had an argument.”
It’s nothing you haven’t already tried to assure yourself. Still…
“I don’t know.”
“If he was going to fire you he probably would have done it on the spot. Besides, this isn’t the first time you’ve argued with Silco, and he didn’t fire you then, so why would he now?”
“Because I insulted him and his daughter this time,” You put your head in your hands with a groan. “I don’t think he’ll be interested in anything I have to say.”
“You don’t know until you try. If what you said is true, and you believe that he is a rational and reasonable man, I’m sure he’ll welcome having an honest conversation.”
You fiddle with your hair as you think about how painful it will be to face Silco and admit you behaved badly. To ask for his forgiveness, try to get him to see your perspective, and hope that you didn’t ruin your relationship - whatever it is - beyond repair.
You have to do it to save your job if nothing else.
And because you really don’t want things to end this way, Some small voice is willing to concede. With him or Jinx.
Though in what way you’d prefer it to end, you can’t even allow yourself to consider.
“If it makes you feel any better, I believe he’ll listen to you.”
“It kind of does.”
Her brows knit together in a frown. “It takes courage to hand over the care of your child to another person, even if that child is on the verge of adulthood. The fact that he considered you for the task in the first place shows that he trusts you.”
You let her words roll around in your brain for a few moments.
“Okay, but if that’s true, then why is he being so difficult?”
“Trust is never simple or easy. There was a time when you did everything you could to help people, and fix everybody else’s problems, but then shut us out when we tried to help you. How long did it take for you to finally let us in, even though you knew we loved you more than anybody else in this world?”
It takes several seconds for the truth to sink in.
“If you want to earn his trust, then it’s going to take hard work and patience. The question is, are you willing to do it?”
Your immediate answer is yes, absolutely. Because you love Jinx, and want to be a part of her life, and it’s worth all the trouble in the world to help her.
But that’s not the only reason.
Which your mother probably suspects. She'll likely question you to within an inch of your life to make sure you aren’t doing it because she thinks you’re once again falling for an older man (who is your boss), who could be taking advantage of your skills in order to further his own business.
You can at least assure her in that respect. He’s certainly asking a lot from you, but you know from personal experience that he’s more than willing to throw money at you for your help and cooperation.
Unfortunately, you can’t assure her of anything else. If Silco is using you, he’s doing it too slowly and too carefully for you to recognize it for what it is. This last week has felt like falling, and no matter how hard you try to keep your head, you can’t seem to shake him from your mind.
The truth is, you like Silco. In fact, you more than like him.
And that terrifies you. Not just because you’ve never felt like this before, but because the more you get to know him, the less you find yourself caring about whether you’re being used or not.
And that means you’re right back to where you were three years ago, and you haven’t learned anything at all.
“I’d like to have a good working relationship with my boss," You say at last, tiredly. "Especially since I’ll be working closely with him in the future, and I’m friends with his daughter. So yes, I’m willing to do the work.”
“Just for a good working relationship?”
“That’s all I have a right to expect.”
“But that’s not what you want?”
You can’t look her in the eye.
“I see.”
There was no hiding it for long, anyway. She was bound to discover the truth sooner or later.
There's a pause where you're filled with embarrassment, shame, and despair.
“Does he share your interest?”
“I don’t know," You answer miserably. "Probably not. I mean he’s a business mogul who wears Armani, and I’m just the soon to be manager of his coffee shop.”
She considers you slowly. “We don’t always get to choose who we’re attracted to, and you're not bad for wanting to be loved by someone you admire."
You sniff back threatening tears.
"But speaking as a mother, I want you to be careful. And I want you to promise that you’ll keep talking to me, no matter what happens."
The best you can manage is a slow nod.
"I just want to make sure you know that you're not alone, and I want to remind you that you should never lose yourself for the sake of a man. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and you deserve happiness. I'm not just saying that as your mother."
You offer her a wan, watery smile.
"And I know I'm beating an old rug here, but it's the last thing I'll say. Don't be like your sister, and try to hang onto something that's not meant to be. If it's the Lord's will that Silco's the man for you, then it'll happen, and nothing will get in the way of that."
Her support, no matter how anxiously shared, is more than you've ever gotten from her before.
"Thanks mom," You say, and you mean it.
“Of course. But I promise you, the moment I catch wind that he's done anything to hurt my baby girl, I won’t hesitate to whoop his ass. And I'll tell him that, when I see him.”
You half laugh, half groan. “Please mom, no."
“Just wait and see if I don’t.”
The worst part is, she would. But your one consolation is that your mother is unlikely to ever meet Silco in person, so such a conversation is unlikely to occur.
"I know I can be overprotective at times, but if you can make allowances for Silco then you can make allowances for me.”
"Fair enough."
She takes another sip of her tea and looks at her watch. “Well now, I think it’s about time for your sister to text me to come pick her up.”
“Sis asked you to pick her up at That Last Drop?” You ask in surprise.
“I said I’d only do it if she was sober, and she promised she wasn’t going to have more than a few glasses. You want to come with? She’ll probably want to stay the night too, once she knows you’re here. We can have a party and watch Pride and Prejudice until you fall asleep.”
"Which version?"
"Whichever one you want."
You're not sure you can handle the angst of the 2005 Hand flex (TM) at the moment, so you make the next obvious choice.
"Let's do A&E."
"Done. Now get your things. I'm about to text her that we're heading over."
You stand to do as you're told, but impulsively cross the room to hug her. You hold her a little tighter than usual.
"Thanks. For everything."
She gives you an extra squeeze. "It's my pleasure baby girl."