Work Text:
When Felix wakes up in the morning, he feels like he’s only slept for a moment. Last night was a mess, he couldn’t have slept for more than an hour at a time. He got up multiple times to empty his stomach through the night, thankfully not waking anyone up with his puking. There are no other symptoms, so he doesn’t feel like he’s sick, it’s just nausea.
He doesn’t move from the bed, keeping his eyes closed and hoping to fall back asleep for a few more minutes before Hyunjin wakes him up. They don’t have much on their schedule today, a live stream and a few meetings spread throughout the day.
His eyes open when he feels someone run a hand through his hair and say, “I know you’re awake.” in the softest morning voice, Hyunjin.
“What time’s it?” Felix slurs as he moves to sit up, gladly accepting Hyunjin’s help when his limbs are still too weak to support his weight. His stomach feels better now, thankfully. He feels more like he’s looked at his phone for too long in the car than like he’s going to puke, and he takes that as a win. This feeling, he’s been handling just fine for days, he can work through this.
“Just after eleven.” Hyunjin replies, he’s frowning a little, that tiny wrinkle appearing between his brows. “You’re usually up by now. Are you feeling okay?”
“Just tired I guess.” Felix shrugs. He knows he should tell Hyunjin about last night, but he just doesn’t feel strong enough to fight the voice in his head that tells him not to show any sign of weakness. If he tells Hyunjin, he won’t be allowed to do the live they have planned today, but he isn’t sick so he should just work through it and fulfill his duties.
“You gonna stay there all day?” Hyunjin teases, believing Felix when he says he’s okay. Felix rolls his eyes, ignoring the dizziness it causes and drags himself out of bed. He’s probably dehydrated because he didn’t want to drink anything while his stomach was rebelling against him. He goes over to the dresser to get clean clothes to bring to the bathroom, ready to wash the nights events off.
“I’ll get breakfast ready for you.” Hyunjin calls from the kitchen. The thought of food makes him feel how hungry he is, his stomach practically caving in on itself with how hungry he is. For the last few days, he’s been either starving or nauseous, there’s no in-between, and if he doesn’t eat as soon as he feels hungry, it goes back to nausea before he has the chance. He decides to eat before showering, too hungry to wait any longer.
Joining Hyunjin in the kitchen, he practically drools at the smell of cooking pancakes. He walks up to Hyunjin, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder. “Smells amazing.” He comments, sneaking a hand in the direction of the plate stacked with pancakes.
Hyunjin slaps his hand out of the way before he can steal any pancakes. “You can wait same as everyone else.” He says, turning his head to plant a kiss on Felix’s temple. Felix scowls, but listens. Just like everyone loves Felix’s brownies, everyone loves Hyunjin’s pancakes, so it’s worth the wait. HE just hopes his hunger is still hunger when they’re done.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks, not taking his eyes off the pancakes to make sure they don’t burn. They tend to go from perfectly golden to burnt in a split second.
“Yeah, why?” Felix says, that’s the second time Hyunjin asks him this morning. He usually asks a lot, saying he’d rather ask than wonder, but it feels like he expects the answer to be ‘no’ today.
“Just asking.” Hyunjin says, dipping his finger in the batter and somehow putting it on Felix’s nose without looking. Felix jumps back, chin lifting form Hyunjin’s shoulder.
“Hey!” Felix whines, wiping his nose on his already dirty shirt and pouting at Hyunjin who still isn’t looking at him. He’s wearing the same shirt that he wore all night, it probably has some questionable stains already so a little batter won’t make a difference.
“What?” Hyunjin asks innocently, flipping the pancakes with expert hands. Felix goes to sit at the table, waiting in an attempt of patience. It turns out that patience is hard when you’re waiting for something good, so he asks Hyunjin is they’re done soon a few too many times while waiting.
When Felix is finally allowed to eat, he almost forgets to take his antibiotic, he’s so busy stuffing his face. They’re just for an ear infection he got from wearing his ear buds too much, nothing serious even though it was really annoying to be in that much pain for something so stupid. Before he forgets again, he swallows the pill with a glass of water and goes back to enjoying the food.
The other guys rave about the pancakes the whole time too, mostly because they love how easy it is to make Hyunjin blush shyly with the compliments. They say increasingly weird things, comparing them to everything from the feeling of relaxing into bed after a long day to the softness of a cat’s fur to the relief of finally peeing after a long show. It gets weird, at some point Chan steps in to remind them that they’re eating like they’re a bunch of children.
“That was amazing, thank you Hyun-ie.” Felix says, stopping to peck Hyunjin on the cheek on his way to the sink with his plate. “I’ll put away the dishes if you bring them.” He offers and the guys gladly carry the dishes to him, leaving them scattered over the counter.
Felix is the only one left in the kitchen, the others having left as soon as they carried away their dishes. He rinses the plates one at a time, bending down to put them in the dishwasher. Instinctively, he holds his breath every time he bends over, used to the queasiness from the antibiotics by now. He knows that acid reflux is a very real possibility if he isn’t careful when bending over.
Once that is done, he goes back to the bedroom, heading straight for the connected bathroom. He feels gross from the night. The puking wasn’t accompanied by a fever or headache, it was just nausea, so it can’t be a bug. He tried googling if nausea and vomiting is a side effect of the antibiotic he’s taking, but nothing came up, so he figures he just ate something, that it was a fluke he can’t explain.
He leaves the bathroom door open as he steps into the shower, because that’s what he would do on a normal day. He doesn’t want Hyunjin to read into it if he closes the door, even though it would be true that Felix’s day is not normal. There’s no reason to worry him with last night’s incident when it’s over now.
The warm water soothes his achy muscles. He can feel his whole body relax under the stream, like all his sore spots are collectively sighing, letting tension out. But he only gets to enjoy it for a few minutes before the heat makes him dizzy. Steadying himself with a hand on the shower wall, he feels like the room is spinning around him. If he was dehydrated this morning and that’s what made him dizzy, shouldn’t he feel better after drinking three glasses of water?
Within moments his stomach is in his throat again. It comes on so quickly, it almost knocks him over. Probably because the nausea is a constant and he’s exhausted, he didn’t feel it building until it got bad. Turning off the water, he sits down on the shower floor, taking deep breaths to calm himself down.
“I put your clean clothes on the counter.” Hyunjin shouts from the bedroom. Felix glances at the counter by the sink, seeing the neatly folded pile of clothes he forgot to bring into the bathroom. He didn’t even notice Hyunjin coming in while he was showering, and he hopes Hyunjin didn’t see him sitting down in the shower like this. That wouldn’t be easy to explain away.
His stomach shows no sign of calming down, so Felix decides to get dry and clothed. Sitting in the shower, wet and shivering isn’t helping, on the contrary, it’s making him feel worse. He moves carefully out of the shower so as not to jostle his stomach and dries himself off, careful not to bend at the waist.
Felix puts on his t-shirt and sweater first, knowing that bending down will be a challenge. When he starts to bend over to put on his boxers and jeans, it does exactly what he expected. His nausea and dizziness reach new heights. He tries to brush it off, sick of feeling queasy, and bends down to pull on his underwear.
“Need help with that?” Hyunjin says from the doorway. He obviously doesn’t really mean that Felix needs help putting on his own underwear, but the comment still annoys Felix more than it should.
“No.” Felix says through his teeth, not in the mood to joke around when he’s feeling so pukey. He needs to get dressed so he can lie down and not move a muscle until his stomach has figured out how to digest his breakfast.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks, picking up on Felix’s mood. He looks concerned now, brows knitted, and lips pursed.
“Stop asking me that.” Felix says with frustration bleeding into his voice. His palms are sweaty, the nausea making him dizzy, and he feels like he’ll throw up again soon. It has to be the pills, he’s almost certain of it now. Just because it isn’t listed as a side effect, doesn’t mean it can’t be.
“I’m just worried about you.” Rather than leaving like Felix hoped, Hyunjin comes closer, reaching out to him, but Felix takes a step back. He can’t let Hyunjin touch him; his skin is tingling too painfully with the nausea, the slightest touch ready to overwhelm him completely.
“Can you leave me alone for a moment?” Felix asks, trying to be gentle and cringing when his voice comes out harsher and pleading.
“Why? Did I do something?” Hyunjin asks, and of course he’d think he did something with he way Felix sounded. Felix doesn’t know how to explain that he isn’t mad, just nauseous, and he needs to be alone.
“Just get out.” Felix snaps too loudly, not wanting Hyunjin to see him puke. He feels bad for snapping, but he’s growing desperate, needing Hyunjin to leave right now. There’s no hope of calming down his stomach anymore, it’s gone past the point of return.
“But-” Hyunjin starts, looking surprised at Felix’s outburst. He looks ready to cry, always sensitive to the emotions of the people around him.
“Get out!” Felix pushes him toward the door a little rougher than he means to and Hyunjin’s face falls even more, twisting into something that looks like hurt, but Felix is too busy fighting with his stomach to apologize. He leans his back on the bathroom sink, closing his eyes for a moment as he attempts to breathe through it.
“No.” Hyunjin stands his ground. In Hyunjin’s defense, that is how he gets Felix to talk when something is bothering him. Felix will push back, attempting to shut him out even though he wants to talk and doesn’t really want Hyunjin to leave. Hyunjin will push back, making him talk. After Felix has talked himself out, he will thank Hyunjin for making him spill, that’s just how they do this.
“Please, Hyun-ie. Just leave me alone.” He begs, but Hyunjin doesn’t move. Felix loves him for putting up with this every time something is wrong, but that is not what is happening now. This time, Felix really means that he wants Hyunjin to leave.
“Why? I can see something’s bothering you.” Hyunjin moves closer again and Felix moves out of his reach again. He has to swallow thickly a few times before he can speak again.
“Because I’m telling you to, Hyunjin.” Felix says desperately and that seems to get through to Hyunjin.
“I’ll go if you really want me to, but-” Hyunjin is cut off when Felix waves a hand at him to make him shut up, needing silence. Whether Hyunjin leaves him alone or not, he is going to throw up. He moves over to the toilet, holding his breath to hold the first heave in until he lands heavily on his knees. As soon as he is over the toilet, he starts bringing up food and stomach acid, the pancakes tasting much worse the second time.
“Shit.” He hears Hyunjin say behind him. “Okay, you’re okay.” Felix feels Hyunjin kneeling beside him before placing a hand on his back. Felix can’t stand being touched so he tries to shrug Hyunjin’s hand of between the heaves. He just wants Hyunjin to leave him alone.
“You’re okay.” Hyunjin reminds him as he moves away from Felix, taking the hint. Felix wants him to leave the room. He should have fucking locked the door earlier. As if Hyunjin can read his mind, he backs out of the room and closes the door softly. That, or Hyunjin just knows Felix well enough to know that he’d rather be alone than just be watched while he throws up.
Felix continues heaving for a while before his stomach is too empty and body too tired to bring anything else up. He sits back on his heels, flushing the toilet and wiping his mouth with some toilet paper. A moment later, Hyunjin knocks softly on the door, letting himself back into the room when Felix doesn’t protest.
“Did you wake up feeling ill?” Hyunjin asks, sitting down next to Felix again, pressing the back of his hand to Felix’s forehead. Felix doesn’t have a fever, but it still feels nice, the touch comforting and grounding.
“Started last night.” Felix says, swatting Hyunjin’s hand away when he frowns at the lack of a fever. Felix would be confused too if he wasn’t already fairly certain of his theory. “I was up during the night.” He adds, letting Hyunjin understand what that means.
“I thought you looked pale before bed.” Hyunjin says, looking at Felix with sympathy. Thankfully, he doesn’t mention the fact that Felix didn’t tell him, probably already knowing the reason just because he knows Felix that well. “Were you sick last night too?”
“Felt fine. I’ve been a little queasy since starting the antibiotics though.” Felix says, the nausea is back to the constant queasiness already. It seems to come and go quickly when he takes the antibiotic and eats, probably alleviating the symptoms when his stomach is empty.
“They can be hard on the stomach. Think it’s a side effect?” Hyunjin asks and Felix shrugs before nodding. He can’t know anything for sure, but he’s been nauseous since he started taking it, and there are no other explanations that make sense.
“I should take another one though, probably threw the first one up.” Felix says because what other choice does he have? He still has an ear infection that won’t go away on its own.
“Are you sure that’s a god idea?” Hyunjin asks skeptically, squinting at Felix with a pout. Felix doesn’t want it either, but it seems to be after he eats that this side effect comes.
“I think I only throw up if I eat something.” Felix says, gaining a small nod. Hyunjin still seems opposed to the idea. “I’ll be fine, what other choice do I have?” Hyunjin looks at him for a moment, searching his face before agreeing. “Aren’t you going to tell me I can’t do the livestream?”
“I don’t think so.” Hyunjin says and Felix chuckles at him. “If you say you’re fine and it was just a side effect, I believe you.”
Felix sits cross legged in front of the couch, Jeongin beside him and the rest of the guys piled on the couch. Hyunjin sits right behind him, legs framing Felix’s upper body and hands resting on Felix’s shoulders.
They’re talking about the new album, going through it track by track and telling stories about the writing and recording process, their first impressions of the songs, what they mean to them and more. It’s all just a conversation between friends about a project they worked on together.
In typical Stray Kids style, it’s loud and people are talking on top of each other, laughing at the funny stories and enthusiastically adding more detail to what’s being said. If they keep going like this, it will take way longer than the scheduled hour to get through the whole album, but none of them care.
They even have a cake to celebrate, decorated in green and black frosting with a picture of the album on top. Felix has a few bites, carefully observing how his stomach reacts to it before eating more. He feels hungry now, remembering from the last few days that he needs to grab the moment if he wants to be able to eat.
The cake seems to be tolerated by his stomach, so he lets himself go loose on it. It helps tremendously with his mood, probably helping to elevate his blood sugar, which makes him talk more, actively taking part in the conversation.
They talk about Venom, Maniac, Freeze and Charmer, all energetic songs that were a lot of fun to write and record. The music videos to the first three were fun as well, getting to express themselves creatively in a different way than they can with just the music.
When they get to Lonely st., the conversation quiets down a little, going over to something more serious as the members talk about what it means to them. Felix goes quiet for a different reason; the cake doesn’t sit well in his stomach now that his stomach is trying to digest it.
In retrospect, talking another pill right after it made him throw up when he knew he was going to be on a livestream was not the best idea. He thought that he gave it enough time to pass through him before eating though, reading that the actual antibiotics are out of your system within an hour or so, depending on your dose.
Felix listens to the members go on and on about Lonely st. as he tunes into his body, feeling how shitty he suddenly feels again. It probably snuck up on him partially because he was too distracted by the stream to pay attention to it, partially because it just comes on fast.
It’s such an abrupt change, probably because it’s the combination of both the food and the pills, so once both are in his system, it suddenly kicks into action, going from subtle constant nausea to feeling like he needs to puke.
“How about you Yongbok-ie?” Hyunjin brings him back to the conversation with a squeeze on his shoulders.
“What?” Felix asks, having not heard the question. He was too distracted by trying to figure out if he should excuse himself or tough it out.
“What was the best part of filming the video to Lonely st.?” Hyunjin asks, oblivious to how Felix feels.
“Watching you in that box.” Felix says to deflect the question, turning to look at Hyunjin with a smug smile. It works, it gets the guys talking about Hyunjin’s acting. Hyunjin starts explaining how cold it was in that box and how weirded out he was by only seeing his own reflection in every direction he looked, so it wasn’t actually that much acting. Felix only half-listens while taking deep breaths and moving around to relieve the pressure that the position he’s sitting in puts on his stomach.
His palms start to sweat, shivers running down his spine because of how gross he feels. This reminds him too much of his fight against his stomach this morning, a fight he knows he can’t win. He turns a little to the side, grabbing one of Hyunjin’s hands on his shoulder to get his attention. Hyper aware that they are not just being filmed, but it is being sent live, he subtly looks over at Hyunjin trying to communicate that he needs to get out with a small movement of his head.
Hyunjin leans down so his mouth is level with Felix’s ear. “Are you okay? You look really pale again.” He asks, voice barely above a whisper. They’re thankfully not wearing mics, so they can speak lowly without being heard.
“No, I’m gonna…” Felix trails off, scared to continue speaking through the pressure in his throat. His eyes flutter closed, and he holds his breath, scared he’ll start gagging on camera.
“Just get up like you’re allowed to, try to keep your cool until we can’t see you anymore.” Hyunjin says and Felix nods a little. He is continuously swallowing to keep the gags down, almost dizzy with how nauseous he is. He forces the tension out of his body and gets to his feet as casually as possible. When the conversation halts, Hyunjin keeps it going, covering up the confusion in the group.
Felix forces himself to walk calmy for the few steps it takes to get out of frame, then he slaps a hand over his mouth and starts running. Exiting the living room and running down the hallway, he’s outside the bathroom door when he feels it, he’s out of time. Stopping dead in his tracks, he stays completely still in a desperate attempt at getting his stomach to calm down enough that he can get into the bathroom.
He doesn’t even finish the thought before he’s heaving, liquid rushing up his throat and seeping past his fingers. Freezing in shock, he keeps his hand where it is to hopefully dampen the sound a little when he heaves again. There’s no way he’s far enough away that they can’t hear him in the living room, on the live stream.
“Here, I’ve got you.” Hyunjin is suddenly behind him, pulling his hand away from his mouth. Felix retches again, more vomit joining the puddle on the floor. His face burns with embarrassment, he didn’t make it to the bathroom, and everyone heard. Before the next round, a plastic bag in shoved under his mouth, the sleeves of Minho’s shirt coming into view.
Felix stays like that for a while, hunched over and throwing up into a bag Minho is holding. Hyunjin is holding him up with his arms around Felix’s chest and while Felix would rather not be touched, he’s so weak from not keeping food down that he might fall if Hyunjin lets go of him.
The retches roll over into dry heaves that produce nothing, but his stomach doesn’t seem to realize that it’s empty. “Breathe.” Hyunjin reminds him, but Felix does the opposite, holding his breath and swallowing down the gags until the pressure in his throat calms down a little.
“Are you good?” Minho asks and Felix shakes his head before going over to nodding, he’s done throwing up, but he’s not good by any stretch of the imagination. This has got to be the most humiliating thing that’s happened to him, ever.
Minho retreats the bag, disappearing back down the hall, leaving the two alone. Felix stands back up, but Hyunjin doesn’t let go of him. Instead, he wraps Felix in a back hug, stepping the both of them back from the puddle of the floor.
“We turned it off, but…” Hyunjin trails off, he doesn’t need to finish, Felix already knows what he’s saying. It was too late, the viewers heard before they could shut it off. There are surprisingly few times in Felix’s life he’s wanted to sink into the floor in pure shame, but this is one of them.
“I wouldn’t worry about it though, people may not understand what the sound was, it was kind of far away and unexpected. That is if it was even picked up by the mikes.” Hyunjin starts rambling. Felix wants to believe him, but STAYs are practically detectives, nothing gets past them.
They will rewatch the thing and see Felix feel worse and worse, they will see the panic in his eyes and the nature of his small conversation with Hyunjin. They will know exactly what went down. And there will be no doubt when they see the panic of the group as they abruptly end the stream before getting through the whole album.
“Not helping, right?” Hyunjin says, already knowing what Felix is thinking. Felis shakes his head, pulling Hyunjin’s arms tighter around himself in hopes of feeling a little better. “How about this? Chan is already talking to medical to figure out a different way to treat your ear infection. There’s no way I’ll allow you to take any more of the antibiotic. And the guys and our team can figure out what needs to be done in terms of damage control while we go take a nap.”
Felix supposes that going to sleep is the next best thing to disappearing. At least he won’t have to deal with this for a while. He trusts the members to come up with a solution while he is out. He nods gratefully.
Rather than leading him further down the hall, Hyunjin take shim into the bathroom, turning on the sink and helping Felix wash his hand. Then he hands Felix a small cup of mouthwash. He understands that Felix’s gag reflex probably won’t handle a toothbrush at the moment even though he feels better with an empty stomach. He just feels queasy again now, the way he’s felt for so long he can’t quite remember what it’s like to not feel like that.
When Hyunjin takes them out of the bathroom, once again carefully stepping around the puddle, Felix is too tired to feel embarrassed. He just wants to sleep and forget about this day for a while. He wants to wake up to a solution to all his problems and feeling better.