Archive of Our Own

Kagome

‘Am I going to die today? ’

Kagome’s mind screamed as she tumbled through the woods, throwing all caution to the wind. She should have known it was too good to be true: the tales of the village hidden, protected in the woods.  It was supposed to be a safe place , somewhere that one like her—a young woman unmarried and without the protection of a family—could find respite, but… but…

It was not to be. The safe haven had been nothing but a trap, a lure designed to draw others like her, women no one would miss. She had felt the creature’s presence a moment before she saw it, ebony eyes glinting in the faint firelight of her torch, crouching, waiting in the shadows.  It took the beast a moment to realize it had been seen, but it had given her enough time to escape as the beast’s maw opened and its black pinchers made to grasp her. 

She had fled, the torch falling from her hand to crash, burning, to the ground.  The scream of the creature had echoed through the forest, almost hiding the telltale crackle of fire catching hold.  Kagome had pushed away her exhaustion, her only thoughts of survival as she scrambled over stone and roots, ignoring all pain as the trees seemed to try and trap her.

A sharp pull of her hair had Kagome crying out in fear; ‘ no… no no no this cannot be it, please, ’ her mind pleaded, as she dared to look behind her.  She sobbed in relief to see that it was only a branch that held her; maybe the fire had gotten the creature, maybe she was sa…

A faint whisper of sound from the forest made her freeze, the scrape of a shell against bark dashing those faint prayers.  In the pre-dawn light she roughly grabbed at the branch that held her prisoner, snapping it from its limb desperately, her momentum carrying her to the ground.  A screech broke through the air as she scrambled to her feet, ignoring the blood that now marred her palms, frantic to put as much distance as she could between herself and that… thing.  She dodged through the woods, using the trees to try and provide some cover, hoping it would keep the creature from spotting her, even if it could smell her.  

Her breath caught as she realized that the thickness of the woods was thinning, making it harder for her to hide as she ran.  If she was caught in a meadow she was done for; she knew she could not outrun whatever chased her. But if it was a river… maybe a river could hide her scent, let her swim away, carried by the stream.  Yes, there was a chance she would drown, but there was also a chance she would live , a chance she was more than willing to take. 

She saw it a moment too late: the sharp drop of the ravine at the edge of the treeline. Kagome’s eyes closed in surrender as she realized– she would not be able to stop herself in time, even though she was determined to try. She spun, trying to force herself in another direction, but she felt the ground where she stood begin to crumble beneath her.  The face of the cliff gave way, and Kagome gasped, weightless for a moment as the creature broke through the trees, its black frame quivering in the light.  The moment shattered and time sped up: Kagome watched as the black claw flew forward, the sharp edges snapping through the long strands of her hair. 

A sharp pain coursed through Kagome as a rock, hidden by the fog, broke her initial fall.  The loud screech of fury from the creature rang in her head: the last sound she heard before her body gave out and she knew no more.

A soft groan, the sound almost a whimper, broke through the darkness, teasing the edges of her senses.

Pain followed the sound. Pain so deep, so encompassing, that one nearly wanted to surrender to it.

But the dead feel no pain, and Kagome hung onto that one thought as she fought for her sanity against the waves of agony.

If she was in pain, it meant she was alive. 

This time, when she heard the groan, a dim part of her mind realized the sound was coming from her.  Tears pooled in her eyes to trail down her cheeks, brought from relief and soul-deep weariness. She had survived: somehow, through all odds, she had survived the fall. Even as the thought coursed through her, the hope it brought was shattered. She had survived the fall, but she doubted she would last the day.

A rhythmic tapping against stone, almost like footsteps, had her tensing, her body screaming in protest. The tapping sped up, the sound growing louder as a growl rented through the air.  The darkness pulled at Kagome, and she tumbled back into nothingness as the growl gave way to a snarl.

Cool liquid lapped the edges of her lips, and Kagome opened them without thinking, grateful for the relief the liquid brought to her parched mouth. Her arm shifted slightly, the movement barely noticeable, but to her, it was everything.   The pain was still there, but seemed duller now: not quite at a manageable level, but also not the soul-breaking agony from before. Her eyes stayed closed as she slowly drank. She swallowed carefully, silently gauging her condition, trying to get any hint of how long she had been out or where she was. Something was wrapped around her arm: she could feel the compression against her skin, but could not tell what it was or how it had gotten there. 

It took her precious moments to realize the liquid she drank was not rain: the flow too even, too consistent to be from a pool on a plant pouring down.  Her brow furrowed as she tried to force herself into awareness.  A growl, the same as before, sounded low as she struggled to open her eyes.  

Kagome fought the lure of unconsciousness that now called her as she blinked slowly, carefully.  She felt a moment of panic at the darkness that greeted her, a shiver of fear that she had lost her sight, only for it to ease as shadows shifted.  Her struggling thoughts realized it was night time; at the very least, she had been out the entire day, but it could very well have been longer.  

It was then she realized the water was no longer against her lips. She let out a soft, hoarse groan that gave way to a whimper, her body protesting the loss of the liquid. The crack of wood led her to slowly turn her head, her eyes struggling to adjust as she saw the dying embers of a fire.  

Safe.  She was safe.  Someone had found her, was caring for her. If only she knew wh…

Blue eyes framed in red opened from the other side of the fire, their owner completely hidden in shadows. Kagome opened her lips, a broken sound tumbling from them instead of her voice as the world began to spin around her. She thought she saw a flash of red fabric in the fading light as her eyes drifted shut, succumbing once more to the pain that still held her in its thrall.

When she next shook off the arms of unconsciousness, the scent of herbs and the nutty aroma of rice were there to greet her.  Her eyes opened slowly, with far less effort than had been needed before, to see a bowl just to her side, fragrant steam dancing in the soft breeze.  Kagome shifted, the protests of her body no more than a faint twinge, as she pushed to sit up, a blanket falling off of her with the movement.  She paused for a moment to get her bearings before the temptation of food became too difficult to ignore, her stomach protesting its emptiness.  She reached out to grasp the bowl, slowly drawing it to her.  The rice had been mashed, almost like a porridge she had seen her mother feed one of her village’s elders, with fragrant herbs mixed in. Her nose caught the hint of mitsuba and negi, healing herbs she had once harvested in her training.  

Someone was definitely helping to care for her.

The first bite of the porridge was ambrosia, even as rustic as it was. It was a simple meal, but one meant for healing and sustenance.  That someone would do so much for her—surely a stranger as she knew no one in the lands she had sought to find—touched her.  Not many would be so kind, especially to a young woman, alone in the world. Rather than cared for, she could have…

No , she was not going to let her mind think of what could have been.  She had been spared, doubly spared, and she would not question it with doubts or fears or…

The soft tapping on stone drew her gaze to what she now knew was the entrance to a cave, and to the person who stood, oddly still, in it.  The person’s back was to her as they knelt, their focus on something outside of the cave, long silver hair flowing over red hakama to trail on the floor.  Kagome felt herself releasing the breath she didn’t know she was holding: an elder had clearly found her and given her shelter.  The soft sound caused the other person to tense and straighten, and Kagome realized immediately.

This was no elder.

The shoulders were too square, too strong to be wizened with age, despite the shade of hair.  As she watched, there was a slight movement at the top of the person’s head, and she couldn’t hold back her gasp as two triangular ears popped up from the mane, twitching towards her before going still.  

“Yo… yōkai,” Kagome whispered as the being turned, revealing the red and blue eyes she thought she had imagined in her pain. 

No, this definitely was no elder.

This was a man, a yōkai, and quite frankly one of the most beautiful beings she had ever seen. His face was strong, almost chiseled from stone, with purple streaks like lightning down his cheeks.  His lips had curled back to a snarl, revealing long fangs, and Kagome could not help the small shiver of fear that ran down her spine.  She had heard of yōkai, yet it had only been today… well, whenever she had tried to find that village honestly…that she had actually come face-to-face with one. No one survived meeting a yōkai: they were vicious creatures who took pleasure in death and destruction. 

The man… yōkai… lifted his head slightly, his nose flaring in the firelight for a moment. Red and blue eyes narrowed as his snarl grew louder.  The bowl of rice fell from Kagome’s hands, forgotten as her fear rose. The yōkai’s eyes followed the movement as it crashed to the floor and shattered.  They stepped forward, hands closing around themselves, but all Kagome could see was the claws that the movement revealed, a whimper making its way up her throat.  The yōkai paused for a moment, their gaze snapping back to trap hers as she trembled.  The snarl faltered, their gaze turning troubled as their nose flared again.  When the yōkai growled this time, the sound was different, almost as if the creature was upset, but Kagome could not see or hear past her own terror.  

The yōkai took a step forward, and Kagome let herself fall back into the darkness, away from the being that stalked her.

Kagome woke in a panic, terrified of what she would find had happened at the hands of the yōkai.  She looked around frantically, waiting for the rush of pain she was sure was coming.  It took several moments before she realized that she was unhurt.  It took a few moments longer to notice that the broken pottery had been cleared as if it had never been there.  She pushed herself back upright, slowly shifting her legs under her as she looked around, letting herself finally see the cave she rested in. The yōkai was nowhere to be seen, but it was clear this was no random cave.

This was someone’s home.

She rose on shaky feet, waiting as the rush of feeling came back into her legs before taking one step, then another, pushing herself to test the limits of her strength.  A well-contained fire crackled at the other wall of the cave, and Kagome slowly made her way to it, drawn by the warmth it offered. As she drew closer, she saw a small bowl sitting on a flat rock by the flame, close enough to stay warm, but not so close as to burn the contents.  The scent of a broth teased her nose, and her stomach grumbled in response. She eased herself down by the fire, casting an eye around again for the yōkai before lifting the bowl to her lips.  The taste of the rich broth soothed her throat as she sipped it carefully.  A single kettle was set off to the side, full of meat and herbs, and Kagome was soon eagerly taking more into her bowl, chewing slowly on the meat to help her stomach accept it.

The tap of claws on stone and a sudden awareness told her she was no longer alone.  She turned slowly to see the yōkai waiting at the entrance, his red and blue eyes focused on her.  He knelt down slowly, his hands coming to rest between his legs as he tilted his head at her, and despite her fear Kagome fought down a giggle at the picture he made.  One ear flicked at the soft sound, and his lip curled, almost looking like a smile.  When Kagome moved to lower the bowl his lips dropped into a frown, and he made a soft sound, a mix between a bark and an exhale.

“Did… did you just chuff at me?” Kagome couldn’t believe it, the sound had almost felt like he was chastising her.

He repeated the sound, his gaze darting from the bowl to the kettle, then back to her.  When she made no movement, his shoulders dropped before he rose to his full height, his eyes on her as he slowly backed away, disappearing through the cave entrance to leave her alone once more.

‘ He wanted me to eat, ’ Kagome realized, looking at the bowl then back to the entrance. ‘ Has he… is he the one who’s been taking care of me? ’

For the next week, Kagome would wake to the scent of roasting meat and herb-laced rice porridge by the fire.  When her bandage on her arm tore, she would wake to find a new one in its place.  But other than the occasional glimpse of red from the corner of her eye, she did not see the yōkai who had helped care for her. 

When she had ventured out to find a hot spring, intent on washing the dirt and sweat from her body, she had felt him following her while staying well out of sight. After the first few days she felt her fear fading; he had made no move to harm her or upset her; every action seemed more designed to protect her.  It seemed to go against everything she had been told about yōkai, but there was no denying what she saw with her own two eyes.

During the second week, she found her courage again.

“You can join me, if you would like,” she whispered, knowing that he was close enough to hear even if she couldn’t see him.  

After a few moments, she heard the tapping of his claws against the rock as he slowly stepped into the cave, his eyes on her.  She smiled slightly as he moved closer, though staying out of reach.  She rose from her seat by the fire, pausing when his body tensed, to watch him carefully. Where once she would have thought he was preparing to attack her, she now realized he was preparing to flee, to give her space if she was afraid.  She let her smile grow, pushing down her nerves as he scented the air carefully, his red and blue eyes wary.  

She slowly stepped away from the fire, careful to move away from him, watching him for any change in posture.  One ear flicked as he tracked her movement, but he stayed where he stood as she took out a second bowl she had found.  When she moved back to the fire he crouched down, moving slowly himself to keep from startling her.  She took some of the rice and meat from the fire, holding the bowl out to him.  His red and blue eyes looked to the bowl then back to her several times, his expression hesitant.  Kagome smiled and placed the bowl on the floor before stepping back to sit in her place by the fire.  

After a few moments he slowly crept forward, his ears focused on her for any sound of distress.  When he reached the bowl, she smiled at him, and lifted her own bowl to her lips. He eased himself to the floor, still looking as though he was ready to flee at her first sign of distress, and slowly raised the bowl to take a slow sip.  

It was the first of many shared meals they had together.  Each morning, breakfast would be ready for her when she woke, and slowly she took over preparing the evening meal.  He would bring her choice cuts of different game meat along with vegetables and herbs from the forest, his eyes shining with pride when he watched her prepare it.  

He never spoke, relying on body language, chuffing, or growls, but over the weeks Kagome learned to understand it just as well as spoken conversation. She could tell more about him from one look and his posture than she could the silly men who had tried to court her before her family had been lost.  There was an openness, an almost childlike innocence, to him.  Every so often his eyes would soften, and she swore the blue would seem to shimmer with gold.

She had been with him almost two months before she could convince him that he did not need to sleep outside in a tree. The cave was, after all, his home; she was merely the guest, even if it did feel more like home to her now than even her family’s house had. At first he had slept at the cave entrance, close enough to know he was near, but still far enough that he could leave quickly.  He began to spend more time in the cave with her, and even took her to explore the forest. The first time her hand had brushed against his, she swore his face had turned bright red before he scampered into a tree.  It had taken her the rest of the day to get him to come back down, and his face had still been red, his chuffing almost bashful.

She lost her heart to him that day.

The yōkai whose name she did not know, who had cared for her, made her feel treasured.  

The man she didn’t want to live without.

She treasured each moment near him; she beamed when he sat next to her, his face bright red yet again, and let her rest her head on his shoulder.  They sat that way for hours; she knew it had to have been uncomfortable for him, but he was as reluctant to move away as she was.

The cave became their own little sanctuary, the safe haven that Kagome had thought she would find at the beginning of the whole adventure.  There was only one thing that kept it from being absolutely perfect.

Kagome whimpered, hidden beneath her furs as thunder crashed outside, echoing through the stone of the cave. She could hear her yōkai chuffing near her in concern, the sound mixed with whines as he paced, not sure how to help her. The storms had grown worse as the season had passed, and while the cave was enough up the hill to avoid flooding, it did nothing to temper the thunder as it roared.   

The cave went white as the sky around it exploded, Kagome’s scream lost in the lingering crack of thunder.  The yōkai was suddenly there, wrapping his arms around her voluntarily for the first time, holding her close as she sobbed into his chest.  He nuzzled the top of her head, his claws carefully stroking through her hair as he let out a soft rumbling growl designed to soothe her.  His arms would hold her closer with every crash of thunder, never letting her out of his arms until the storm began to ease.

“Please,” she whimpered as his arms began to loosen, “please don’t let go.” Her hand curled around the fabric of his shirt, holding him to her as he paused.  She tilted her head up to meet his red and blue eyes, losing herself for a moment to admire the bright rim of gold in them.  “Just for tonight, please don’t let go.”  

He leaned down and nuzzled his nose against hers and let out a deep breath of agreement.  

“Thank you,” she whispered, resting her forehead against his.  He lay down, carefully drawing her to him until she was resting comfortably against him, her head pillowed on his chest, and pulled the furs over them.  He resumed the deep rumbling growls, the sound almost reminding her of a purr, as she held him close and let herself drift to sleep, safe in his arms.

Inuyasha

Something was different.

At first, the sense of clarity was all that Inuyasha surmised. Where had he been? How long had it been? He was… he was…

Inuyasha’s eyes snapped open.
His body was dense, wrapped in sinewed muscles that displayed that he was a man now, no longer a pup. No longer running away from… no longer hiding from …

That’s right. His last memory. Of being so small and scared, cornered because he had thought to trust instead of run. Impaled on the end of a demon’s claw, feeling as life leeched out of him, his mind going blank, black. Until his entire body felt engulfed in all-consuming flame.

He had survived this, somehow. His mind was lost in the recesses of his survival for the duration of him becoming a man, only now emerging.

Inuyasha stretched his senses out, just barely stifling the yelp that demanded release.

She had onyx hair that smelled of the forest; her skin was silken soft, marked with scars that seemed to make it more beautiful. She breathed in a steady, unbothered way, chest rising and falling as one in the most peaceful of sleeps.

Did she know that she was in bed with him, a hanyō? Who until moments before had been nothing but an unfeeling beast, driven solely on an instinct to survive, his soul locked away? Why did she find herself in this place with him?

And why was it so clear to him, as his world returned to him, that he loved her? He could not remember her name; he could not remember their first meeting; he could not remember even the color of her eyes; and yet, he knew. Whomever she was, he would devote his life to her.

It was strange, to wake up and know so little. To know only that he loved her. As if the sliver of soul that snuck out between the cracks of his survivalist armor wrapped itself around her and refused to let go.

Inuyasha stretched out his hand, hovering just above her sleeping head, intent to clear a tendril of hair draped over her sleeping face that tickled her nose. Also most probably so that he could touch her.

Don’t.
Inuyasha needed to remember. He was a beast. A half-breed. One who lost such control of his soul that he could not remember most of his life anymore.

Touching this woman in her sleep, when she was so at ease, would have simply proven that he was the beast that had imprisoned his soul for all those years.

“S—sorry.” Inuyasha tested his voice. It came out as a whisper, gravelly from years of neglect. “Sorry.”

Even as soft as his words were, they were enough to cause the woman to stir. She rolled to face him; her eyes were hazel, green and brown as the forest that surrounded them. She lifted her delicate hand and brushed away the very tendril of hair that Inuyasha was eyeing, though her eyes never left his face.

“W—wait.” She snapped up so swiftly that Inuyasha jerked away. He could not remember what brought him to this place, to her . What if he had done something to her? Was he a monster to this woman too, one he knew he loved? If that were so, Inuyasha would accept his wretched fate, staying far enough away that she would feel no fear from his presence, but close enough to protect her. It was the lonely road of a hanyō, but at least it was— “Your eyes!” The woman scrabbled forward, closing the distance that Inuyasha had placed between them too quickly for him to properly react. Her hand was on his jaw now, and she’d lifted herself so that his entire view was now of her eyes. “They’re gold!”

“Y—yeah,” Inuyasha tested his voice again. It was steadier than those first words, but he could hear his own doubt in its timbre. “G—gold.”

“And you can speak!” The sparkle in her eyes lit the rest of her face, her smile so natural and bright that Inuyasha was convinced he would be able to be guided to it even in the pitch black. “I… I so wanted to know what your voice sounded like.”

Inuyasha shrugged. He was not sure that he could find any more words at the moment. Not when his heart threatened to burst out of his chest and tears pooled behind his eyes.

“Why…” The word slipped out before Inuyasha could control it. Here this woman was, looking at him like that and smiling and acting as if he was something wondrous, not the vile beast he knew himself to be. “ Why ?”

“Do you not remember… anything? ” the woman asked, and her hand feathered Inuyasha’s jaw once more. He leaned into the touch. “You saved my life, and you nursed me back to health.”

“That’s not possible,” Inuyasha rasped. “A hanyō becomes an unthinking beast when their demon blood takes over. And—and I don’t…” He hadn’t meant to say it aloud, even as the woman’s hazel eyes grew wider and flickered with grief. He did not want this woman to hear the truth, to see the way her face twisted as he revealed his truth.

But then her arms closed around him, and her nose nuzzled into his neck.

“To have been locked inside of yourself for so much of your life. You have suffered so much, ” she whispered, tightening her hold on him; Inuyasha was helpless except to melt into her touch.

How long had it been? Since he felt the touch of another? Someone who was not repulsed by him?

Ah, yes. His mother.
Only his mother’s embrace felt like this.

“I—I don’t… remember,” Inuyasha murmured, fighting against the tide of emotion that his soul was howling to free. “Nothing. Not since—”

Inuyasha could not bring himself to finish the sentence.

Not since I lost my sense of self.
Not since my mother’s death.
Not since my body changed and I woke up sleeping next to you.

“Do you remember… if you have a name?” She had pulled back, her hazel eyes meeting his once more, though the squeeze of her hug grew tighter.

“Oh, yeah. Um.” Inuyasha at least could answer this much. “It’s Inuyasha.”

“ Inu-yasha, ” she tested his name on her tongue, as if she was savoring the sweetest of treats. “A fitting name for my savior.”

“What about you?” Inuyasha asked, only to pin his ears back. Of course this woman would have a name. And she would probably remember it too. “Um, I mean… what’s your name?”

Inuyasha had been laughed at before, and those laughs were always cut with jeers. Laughter was the sound of humiliation. It was the sound of ostracization.

But when this woman laughed, it was music. Light and relaxed, irreverent. It spoke of affection and comfort, not of malice. As if the sound itself was created to caress Inuyasha’s ears.

“It’s Kagome,” she said.

“ Ka-go-me. ” Inuyasha tested her name on his tongue, and he found the simple syllables to taste of ambrosia. It was a name he would never get tired of saying. A name of a woman his soul fell in love with even while it was trapped away. “I like that name.”

“I like the name Inuyasha, too,” the woman— Kagome— answered. “I like it very much.”

When Kagome finally pulled out of the hug, Inuyasha was unable to stifle his whimper. Nor did he miss the way Kagome’s eyes filled with more affection at the sound.

“Don’t worry; I will be back very soon. I just need to—” When she blushed, Inuyasha caught her meaning. “But when I come back, I will make us some tea. I want to know everything there is to tell about you, if—if that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Inuyasha murmured, trying to contain the beating of his heart as Kagome left his sight.

Hanyō were wretched things, cursed to half-lives full of suffering and pain. That was Inuyasha’s lot in life, that was all he was destined for.

But… if Kagome would sit with him and say his name, then maybe it was that Inuyasha was not doomed to be cursed after all.