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Jeongguk is very drunk.
Now, he’s been drunk before. Back in university when he had a bad day, or Taehyung dragged him to another party happening somewhere on campus, there were more than a few mornings where Jeongguk woke up unable to remember what happened the day before. And back when Taehyung and Jimin were convinced they were going to create the next best soju? Forget it. Jeongguk was done for.
Things changed over the years, of course. Jeongguk got older. He drank his way through his breakup and tried to fight Taehyung when he suggested finding a better outlet for Jeongguk’s grief. He swore off alcohol after an especially bad night, but that didn’t last very long.
Now, Jeongguk’s tolerance had gotten worse as he got older. He and Taehyung were adventurous with two glasses of wine sometimes, even while Jimin still drank like he was twenty. But Jimin said birthdays were special occasions. So Jeongguk was very drunk.
Except, he had to be more drunk than he thought, because he was seeing Yoongi sitting at the bar.
Jeongguk frowns. Jimin had sent him to the bar to get more drinks. Back at their table, Hoseok was animatedly telling a story while Jimin and Taehyung gave each other the look that usually resulted in unspeakable things being done in a public restroom.
“Yoongi?”
Jeongguk thinks he won’t hear. The bar was packed with loud music playing, and there were people on either side of Yoongi trying to shout their drink orders at the nearest bartender. Yoongi knocks back the rest of his drink, looks up, and makes eye contact with Jeongguk.
Jeongguk expects him to balk, to hastily throw money on the bar and scurry out of the establishment before Jeongguk could even make his way over. But that doesn’t happen. Yoongi’s demeanor softens from the mask he tends to put up when he’s alone in public, catching Jeongguk’s eye like they were the only ones in the room.
“Hey.” Yoongi says, when Jeongguk is close enough to hear him without shouting. “Happy birthday.”
“You remembered.” Jeongguk tries not to sound surprised, tries not to let his inflection tip towards questioning, but he can’t help it.
Yoongi tips his glass in Jeongguk’s direction. “Of course. Have fun tonight.”
“I-thanks.”
Jeongguk returns to the table with a tray of drinks and Jimin teases him, asking what cutie at the bar distracted him for so long. Jeongguk doesn’t answer, just knocks back another shot.
When the lights come on close to three in the morning, Jeongguk stumbles to the bar to close out his tab.
The bartender hands back his card. She says, “It’s been taken care of.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “No, we got a couple more rounds.”
She smiles. “Someone offered to pay your whole tab tonight. I’d say that’s a pretty good birthday present.”
Jeongguk loops his arm through Hoseok’s so he doesn’t wander away- again- and falls asleep that night wondering why Yoongi would cover their tab.
When they first broke up, Jeongguk thought he’d see Yoongi everywhere.
They might have worked on other sides of the city, but they loved the same restaurants, attended the same gym, and had the same circle of friends. But Yoongi was very good at changing his routine so he and Jeongguk wouldn’t run into each other. Not only that, but Seokjin took it upon himself to carefully plan a schedule with the rest of their friends to keep the two of them separate.
Jeongguk had appreciated it back then, but now he wondered if it had been too much.
It didn’t really matter anymore. Jeongguk had tried to date over the last five years, but none of his relationships lasted past the six month mark. He was always looking for something. Something that none of them could emulate.
He finishes with his meetings and ducks out of work early one Friday, heading to the subway while texting Taehyung about their plans for the weekend. Taehyung always puts up a fight about plans. He and Jimin had been married almost ten years now and liked to spend their weekends sleeping in late together, but Jeongguk didn’t have a husband and he hated being alone with his thoughts. So he often crashes their weekends.
Pocketing his phone, Jeongguk ducks into the groomer’s. “Hey, Sooyoung.”
“Hey, Jeongguk-ah.”
“How’s my favorite girl?”
“Are you talking to me or the cat in the window?”
Jeongguk falters. “Do you… want me to be talking to you?”
Sooyoung snorts. “No. I’ll grab Bam.”
“Thanks, noona.”
She comes back a few minutes later with a leash in hand. The second Bam spots Jeongguk, he tugs so hard on the leash that Sooyoung drops it, barreling into Jeongguk and nearly toppling him over. Jeongguk laughs, his face scrunching up as Bam licks any skin he can get his tongue on.
“Bam,” Jeongguk laughs, trying to push the dog away while Sooyoung gathers to collect the leash. “Sit! Sit, oh good boy.”
“Sorry.” Sooyoung hands over the leash while Jeongguk produces his credit card. “I guess we’re still struggling with some of our training.”
“Trust me, I don’t mind.”
“Same time next week?”
“Absolutely.”
Jeongguk adjusts the cloth bandana they always put around Bam’s neck after he’s been groomed, making sure to tell Bam how handsome he looks.
The door opens as Jeongguk approaches, and in walks Yoongi with a small dog in his arms.
Sooyoung perks up. “Oppa! It’s been a while.”
Jeongguk passes him in the doorway, but Yoongi sees him. Yoongi smiles and offers a polite greeting before handing his dog over to Sooyoung.
Jeongguk stands on the sidewalk until Bam tugs on the leash to lead him home.
It takes Jeongguk five stops to realize who he’s sitting next to on the subway.
In his defense, Yoongi always wore a mask and a bucket hat on the subway because he hated being perceived by strangers. But years and years ago, Jeongguk could recognize him just by the hunch of his shoulders or the furrow between his brows as he read through his emails. Now, he zones out until he recognizes the shirt Yoongi was wearing.
“Yoongi.”
Yoongi blinks at him, thrown off, then smiles. Jeongguk knows this from the tilt of his eyes and the way his mask shifts.
“Hey, Jeongguk.”
“Shouldn't you be at the studio?”
It’s not what Jeongguk wanted to ask first. It’s not what Jeongguk thought he would ask first. But it’s the first thing that comes to mind.
Yoongi shrugs, shifting a little where he sits. “There are enough people. I don’t have to be there all day.”
“You finally figured that out?” Jeongguk blanches. “Sorry, fuck. That was uncalled for.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Yoongi tugs down his mask so Jeongguk can better see his face. “I fucked up. It took me a long time to realize that.”
Jeongguk feels a little dizzy. He used to imagine what he would say when he saw Yoongi again, but this was nothing like how Jeongguk predicted those meetings to go. There wasn’t any screaming. None of his hyungs were around to hold him back if Jeongguk wanted to get violent. Not that he ever would. Yoongi might have broken his heart, but he was never bad for Jeongguk.
“So you leave early a couple days a week?”
“I have a set schedule,” Yoongi says. “I work mornings during the week. If someone needs me at night, they can call me in but only for a fee. And I’m only in the studio all day if there’s an emergency.”
“Oh.”
“This is your stop, right?”
“I- uh.” Jeongguk looks up, watching the indicator blink at his subway stop. Around them, weary parents usher their children off the subway car, couples link arms to lend each other strength, and business men and women struggle to finish their calls as they leave. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
“Have a good night, Jeongguk-ah.”
“You, too.” Jeongguk says, feeling a little lost as he stands and throws his backpack over his shoulder. He walks to his apartment, opening the door and letting Bam greet him with kisses, before realizing Yoongi was taking the subway the wrong way from the apartment they once shared together.
It could be nothing. That’s what Jimin tells him when Jeongguk brings it up at breakfast the following morning. Maybe Yoongi had some errands to run. Or maybe Yoongi moved. Or maybe, Taehyung suggests, Yoongi was seeing someone who lived in the area.
Jeongguk isn’t sure why that bothers him so much. They broke up almost six years ago. Jeongguk had tried dating since then, so it was only logical that Yoongi had, too. For all he knew, Yoongi could be married with a kid on the way.
So he brings it up during his weekly dinner with Seokjin.
He waits until they’ve finished eating, waiting until they’ve gotten boba and are making their way to Seokjin’s car.
“Is Yoongi dating someone?”
Seokjin nearly chokes on a tapioca pearl. “What?”
“It’s a pretty straightforward question.”
“Well, yeah, I mean sure. But you haven’t asked me about him since he archived all of his Instagram posts.”
“So he is dating someone.”
“Jeongguk.” Seokjin pinches his nose. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because I want to.”
“It won’t do you any good.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not dating anyone.”
Jeongguk curses, whirling on his heel and dropping his boba. He watches morosely as the cup explodes and milk tea spills everywhere. Yoongi’s dog sniffs at the puddle of milk tea, then goes back to sit at Yoongi’s heel.
Jeongguk recovers quickly. “Then why do you live on this side of the city?”
“That’s where Seokjin’s apartment is.”
“So?”
Yoongi stares at him.
“Oh. You moved back in with Seokjin.”
“Bingo.”
“What’s your dog’s name?”
“Holly.” Yoongi kneels to pick up the toy poodle. “He’s my favorite guy in the world.”
Seokjin scoffs. “Rude.”
“Holly doesn’t leave the toilet seat up.”
“You fell in one time-”
Yoongi ignores him. “Is your boba order still the same?”
It takes Jeongguk a second to notice Yoongi staring at him. “Less sugar now, but yes.”
“Wait here.”
Jeongguk has no good reason to wait, but he does.
Yoongi returns a few minutes later with a new milk tea. He hands it off to Jeongguk with a grin.
“Oh.” Jeongguk’s chest tightens. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Come on, Jeongguk.” Seokjin steers him away. “We’re still planning that movie marathon tonight, right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”
Jeongguk glances over his shoulder, but Yoongi was already walking in the other direction while Holly happily licked his face.
“Do you mind if I sit with you? Everywhere else is full- oh.”
Yoongi looks up. “Oh.”
Jeongguk stands there with two plates of pastries and a drink waiting at the bar to be picked up, his heart hammering a loud staccato in his chest. “Sorry, I’ll just-”
“No, it’s fine. I can go-”
“No, you have a whole coffee left.”
They’re both silent for a few minutes.
Then, Yoongi asks. “Would you like to sit?”
“I-” There’s so much Jeongguk wants to say. He wants to know everything Yoongi’s been up to over the last five years. He wants to know if Yoongi thought about him all the time like Jeongguk did. But that’s a little much, so he settles on saying, “Yeah. Thank you.”
Jeongguk places down his pastries, excusing himself to go grab his drink at the counter. As he returns, Yoongi is putting a bookmark into his book and setting it into his backpack.
“If I’m disturbing you I can go-”
“You could never disturb me.”
Jeongguk feels his shoulders relax. “So you don’t work as much?”
“Nope.” Yoongi takes a sip of his latte. “Someone I loved very much called me out, and I realized it would be better to miss a few hours in the studio than to miss the time I could spend with them.”
“Loved?”
Yoongi doesn’t answer. Instead, he deflects. “Are you still at the same company?”
“Yeah, I actually just got promoted to head a new project.”
“Tell me about it?”
“Really?” Jeongguk laughs, picking apart one of his pastries. “Most people don’t care to hear about the boring intricacies.”
“Well. I’d love to hear all about it.”
Jeongguk immediately launches into a full-scale explanation of his project and the people he’s working with. He asks Yoongi how things are going at the studio. Then Yoongi asks about Jeongguk’s family, and Jeongguk asks about Yoongi’s family, and they lose track of time with surprising ease.
Jeongguk’s phone vibrates loudly on the table.
“Ah, shit.” Jeongguk stands, collecting his trash and Yoongi’s empty latte cup. “That’s Taehyung. I’m so late for dinner.”
“Oh, yeah.” Yoongi looks around, as if he also hadn’t realized they’d stayed seated in the cafe until it was nearly time to close. “Hey, Jeongguk. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, hyung.”
“Would you… would you like to get coffee with me?”
Jeongguk bites his lip to hide a grin. “Didn’t we have coffee today?”
“I didn’t get to buy you this coffee.”
Jeongguk waits a few seconds, taking the time to throw away their trash and reach for his coat. He doesn’t look up as he buttons his coat. “How will I know this time will be different?”
“We’ll both have to work hard to make sure that it is.” Yoongi pauses. “I’ll work hard to make sure that it is. You’ll just have to trust me.”
Jeongguk once trusted him to always be there. Things between them fell apart after months of miscommunication and Jeongguk choosing to stay quiet when he could have reminded Yoongi of their plans. Yoongi had often chosen to stay overnight in the studio while Jeongguk seethed at home for being left alone. Neither of them had been perfect. But it had been almost six years. Who they were back then didn’t necessarily match who they were now.
So Jeongguk nods. “A coffee date it is. My number is still the same.”
Yoongi grins. “So is mine.”
“Call me later?”
“Absolutely.”
Jeongguk leaves, his cheeks burning pink. When Taehyung asks, he blames it on the cold.
“Which shirt should I wear?”
“Not the blue one. It’s stained with beer.”
“I haven’t worn it in ages?”
“I stained it with beer,” Taehyung clarifies. “Why are you so worried, anyway? You’re just meeting up to walk your dogs in the park.”
“Yeah, but.” Jeongguk stares at himself in the mirror. But he and Yoongi had been on a few dates over the past month and Jeongguk couldn’t help how his heart reached for Yoongi. Yoongi promised they would take things slow. But Jeongguk kind of wanted to kiss Yoongi until he forgot about the rest of the world. “I just want to look good.”
Taehyung stands up. He was in the middle of making a Valentine’s Day card for Jimin. The nerd. “Let me help.”
Jeongguk follows him to the bedroom and watches as Taehyung flings clothes around until he produces a cream colored sweater Jeongguk forgot he had, dark jeans, a warm jacket, and a pair of boots.
“These are good,” Jeongguk decides, checking his reflection in the mirror. “Very good.”
“I did go to school for this shit,” Taehyung points out.
“Money well spent!” Jeongguk grabs his phone and Bam’s leash, whistling to signal to the dog. “I’ll be back later.”
“Keep all funny business above the waist.”
“Good bye , hyung.”
Bam turns his nose up to smell the cool air, trotting ahead of Jeongguk on the sidewalk. The park wasn’t too far away, and Jeongguk is glad for the time to himself to collect his thoughts. Maybe he could hold Yoongi’s hand today. Maybe they could talk about the future today.
Yoongi is waiting on a bench with Holly. As he approaches, Jeongguk realizes Yoongi’s sweater matches Holly’s.
“Oh my God.”
“Seokjin ordered them,” Yoongi says. His beanie was gray, but he didn’t wear a mask so Jeongguk could see his smile in all its glory. “He could probably find one for you, too.”
“And for Bam?”
Yoongi’s eyes twinkle. “And for Bam. Ready?”
“Ready.”
Jeongguk reaches out hesitantly, and Yoongi takes his hand, squeezing gently as they set off.