Archive of Our Own

Mobei Jun felt his husband stir before he even opened his own eyes. He usually awakes before Shang Qinghua, but enjoys laying in bed until his husband wakes. Shang Qinghua does not know that Mobei Jun knows this, but the human watches him rest, or pretend to rest, almost every morning for a few quiet moments before Mobei Jun hears a small, contented sigh, and feels a kiss on his cheek. Only then will Shang Qinghua get up himself.

Mobei Jun will always follow a moment after, feigning a yawn and a stretch, so he can get ready for the day with his husband. He loves brushing and doing up Shang Qinghua’s hair. It’s always quiet in the mornings, for Shang Qinghua is still tired. He would never tell his husband this, but sleepy Shang Qinghua is his favorite. Mobei Jun loves coaxing him into his robes for the day, or gathering him in his arms when he falls asleep at his desk. And he adores the sleepy smiles his husband gives him. When he is so pliant and trusting and sweet. 

There are so many things Shang Qinghua indulges his husband in. He likes to think that this little morning routine of theirs is something he can give Shang Qinghua. A small, quiet moment to begin his day. But, truthfully, Mobei Jun is selfish. He loves knowing that his husband wakes, looks at him, and cannot resist the urge to make such a pleased sound. To kiss his cheek. There is so much quiet love in that. Mobei Jun will soak it all up for the rest of his days.

But, this morning. This morning was different. 

When Mobei Jun felt Shang Qinghua wake. Felt him make that small groaning sound, and know he was stretching his limbs from being tangled with his own, Shang Qinghua did not take a few quiet moments to watch his husband, or to kiss his cheek. Shang Qinghua made a small, distressed noise, and slid off the bed.

Mobei Jun opened his eyes the moment he heard that strange noise from his husband. He knows it well. When something surprises, or confuses him to the point of discomfort. Something was wrong.

Shang Qinghua was already sliding off the bed, clutching his pale blue inner robes around him. They were big on him, for they were Mobei Jun’s own sleeping robes. But, his husband prefers to sleep in them, and Mobei Jun could never deny him. Or deny the fact that seeing him in his own clothes, surrounded by his own scent, makes him feel…a certain kind of way.

Mine. 

When they go to bed. When he holds his husband close. The human is so small, and practically drowns in his sleep robes. 

Mobei Jun absolutely loves it.

His husband sneaking off in the morning, tiptoeing towards the door, he does not love. 

Mobei Jun sat up quietly, watched Shang Qinghua for another second, and then called to him.

“Qinghua,” he said, half authoritative, half teasing, with a small smirk on his face. He was curious about what his husband was doing.

But when Shang Qinghua yelped, tripping over his robes, and fell to the ground right in front of the door, Mobei Jun’s smile vanished. 

His husband was staring right at him. His brown eyes blown wide. His hands clenched and shaking in his robes. His breathing ragged.

Fear.

Shang Qinghua was afraid. And he was looking right at him.

His husband had not shown fear like this since…they first met. When Mobei Jun was a spoiled, miserable fool who did not realize what he had, what was given to him freely, with no favors or strings attached, until it was almost too late.

It should have been too late. Mobei Jun did not deserve another chance. Not with the man who gave him everything. Who made him the King he is today. Who loved him, and received nothing but…abuse in return.

Because that is what Shang Qinghua told him their relationship was. That was why he left after his Ascension. 

Mobei Jun did not deserve another chance, but was given one, anyway. And he vowed to never betray that trust. To never hurt his human ever again. 

So, to see his husband looking upon him with such fear, so much like how he used to look at him. 

Something was very, very wrong.

“Qinghua,” he said again, softly, rising to his feet slowly, and making his way around the bed.

Shang Qinghua gasped, lightly thumping his back against the door. Like he wanted nothing but to be as far away from Mobei Jun as he could be. 

Mobei Jun did not stop his advance, but he did move even slower. Shang Qinghua did not take his eyes off of him, following him unblinkingly like a cornered prey. 

Mobei Jun hated this.

Finally, he lowered himself to the floor, several feet in front of Shang Qinghua, giving him a little space, but also close enough to inspect him from head to toe. Nothing looked amiss, except for his husband's uneven breathing and trembling body.

“Qinghua, what’s wrong?” he asked. 

Shang Qinghua opened his mouth and closed it again, his chin wobbling. His bright eyes filling with tears.

Shang Qinghua is not just afraid. He is terrified. 

Mobei Jun hates how he knows this. Hates how he remembers the way Shang Qinghua shrinks in on himself, trying to make himself small. How Shang Qinghua cries when he gets really scared. Not sobs, just cries quietly. How his entire body trembles, like he cannot control it any longer.

And he hates how he knows that when Shang Qinghua is utterly terrified, he does not speak at all.

Shang Qinghua has always been a talker. Ever since he can remember, Shang Qinghua has blabbered about this and that. Always talking. Always rambling. Mobei Jun has learned to love when Shang Qinghua goes on his rants, with no end in sight. And whenever he gets nervous, he cannot stop himself from talking. Like on their wedding night. Shang Qinghua would not shut up. Mobei Jun loved every little thing he said.

His husband has always been nervous. That is just who he is. But, Shang Qinghua is not nervous right now. He will not speak. Shang Qinghua is so afraid, he cannot speak.

Whenever Shang Qinghua is scared, he would always call for him. 

He is not calling for him now. Because Shang Qinghua is so, so afraid. Of him. 

His husband is crying. Is scared. Is trembling, shrinking in on himself like he wants to disappear. 

And it is Mobei Jun’s fault.

He does not know why his husband is acting like this. Why he is so afraid of him. But, that does not matter right now. What matters is making sure he is okay. Making sure he knows that Mobei Jun would never harm him.

“Are you hurt?” Mobei Jun asked quietly. Shang Qinghua does not seem to be, but he cannot be sure. “Is something hurting you?”

He did not expect Shang Qinghua to answer him verbally, and he did not. But, he does look him in the eyes. He does blink a few times, like he is thinking. He is obviously confused, and upset, but Mobei Jun remains quiet. Does not move. He has to show him that he means him no harm.

Because it is becoming apparent that Shang Qinghua does not know him. Not right now.

There’s something in his eyes. Some sort of recognition. Like he knows of Mobei Jun. But, not personally. It explains why his husband is so scared of him.

There is something wrong with Shang Qinghua’s memory.

Mobei Jun wants nothing more than to scoop his husband into his arms and race to their doctor. Or to that human peak lord doctor. Or to Luo Binghe or Shen Qingqiu. To anyone or anything that could help.

But, first things first. Shang Qinghua needs to know that Mobei Jun is not his enemy. 

So, he waits. He hates it. But, he waits.

Mobei Jun is about to ask again, when Shang Qinghua shakes his head.

A tiny movement. He never took his eyes off Mobei Jun, but he shook his head no. He answered him. Good. He may still be nonverbal, but he understands him. He is communicating. That is good.

Mobei Jun nods. “Okay. Do you know who I am?”

He is still shaking slightly, but no longer trembling. He is still scared, but he nods slightly. And then…

“...Mobei Jun?” he whispered. Half a question.

Mobei Jun releases his own breath of relief upon hearing his husband’s voice. Of him saying his name. Although it is quiet, and filled with anxiety, it is still his husband’s voice.

“Yes,” he answered. “Good.” Shang Qinghua was staring so hard at him. He continued. “And do you know who you are?”

Shang Qinghua nodded at first, then his face fell as he glanced down at his own body, and he began shaking his head.

“Do you know where you are?” Mobei Jun asked instead, trying to distract him.

Shang Qinghua's eyes darted around the room, then back to him. “The…the…is it the Northern…

“Yes. The Northern Palace,” Mobei Jun finished for him. “In our room.” This was good. He seems to know where he is, and who Mobei Jun is. And from the way Shang Qinghua answered the question about himself, Mobei Jun is fairly sure he understands what is happening. 

Not why, though. Or how.

Or who. When he finds out who did this to him. Who messed with his husband’s mind. He will destroy —

“ Our room?” his husband said with wide eyes.

Mobei Jun unclenched his fists, his anger fading at the flabbergasted look on his husband’s face.

Shang Qinghua was still a little frightened. Still incredibly nervous. But, he was also looking at him so curiously. He looked so sweet.

Mobei Jun smiled. “Yes. Our room. We are married.”

Shang Qinghua’s jaw hung open, looking at Mobei Jun like he had two heads.

Adorable.

He sat there in silence, letting Shang Qinghua’s eyes wander around the room, this time taking the time to really look. To take it all in. The bed that he awoke in this morning, covered in furs. The tea cups laid about on the low table, along with an empty plate of crumbs where they had some late snacks last night. The two desks facing one another, so they could glance at each other while they worked. One neatly organized and one littered in chaos. And the fireplace. 

An Ice Demon would never need a fireplace. Unless he had a husband who got cold very easily. 

Mobei Jun thought it would help. Thought seeing it all would calm Shang Qinghua down, so they could figure it all out.

But, it only seemed to make it worse. For when Shang Qinghua looked down at himself once more, at the large blue robes that obviously belonged to Mobei Jun, at his own hands, his breathing quickened again, and he curled in on himself even more.

“Qinghua,” he tried again. Before Mobei Jun could even consider what went wrong, Shang Qinghua began sputtering.

“I-I’m not…I’m not…”

Ah. Mobei Jun really was a fool. 

“I know. I know you are not him.” He should have let his husband know earlier. He should have begun with that. Of course he was terrified. He thought he was in someone else’s body. 

“Wha-What?” Shang Qinghua said quietly, looking up at him with a look of confusion. And something else…

Hope, maybe?

“I know of your past life. I know you are not originally from here, or originally born into this body.”

“You…you know?” he asked, sounding so small, and so terrified for a completely different reason. 

“Yes. You told me,” he said, inching a tiny bit closer to the human. 

To Mobei Jun’s surprise, and relief, Shang Qinghua leaned in towards him. “ I told you?”

Mobei Jun smiled again. “Yes. I know of your book. I know you created this world, and everyone in it.” Shang Qinghua said he would think him insane after hearing his tale. But, to him, it just made sense. Mobei Jun always had his suspicions of the man. He was so vastly knowledgeable. He first thought that maybe Shang Qinghua was a seer, or an oracle, or even a God, but when he explained…everything…Mobei Jun did not believe him to be crazy. It just…made sense. It felt right. It fit. 

And now Mobei Jun is looking at his husband, who, for some reason, seems to have forgotten ever coming to this world in the first place.

“My book is real…” he whispered to himself. Then, he glanced back up at him. “You’re real?”

“I am. It is all real. You came to this world a long time ago. I do not know why, or how. Neither do you. But, it is all real.”

Shang Qinghua started at him, his lips slightly parted, like he wanted to say something but did not know what. 

“I know you are in the body of your character, Shang Qinghua,” he continued when his husband only looked at him with awe. “But, you have always been my Qinghua.”

“Always?” he asked, his mouth opening slightly in wonder.

Precious.

“Always,” he repeated. “We met when we were both young. I am aware of what became of your character. Of what that Mobei Jun did to him. But we are not those people.”

Shang Qinghua swallowed, hunching his shoulders slightly, but he didn’t take his eyes off of him. “I’m sorry…I…I don’t remember.”

“I know. It is okay. I do not know what has happened, but something is wrong with your memory.” When Shang Qinghua looked distressed, Mobei Jun pressed on. “But do not worry, we will figure it out. It will be okay.”

He swallowed again, looking at the floor. “Okay…”

Shang Qinghua did not seem so scared anymore. But, he was still breathing deeply. Was still worrying his lips. 

“Qinghua.”

“Hm?” Shang Qinghua glanced back up at him. His fists were still clenched tightly into his robes.

Mobei Jun inched a little closer. Shang Qinghua’s back was against the door, but he did not shrink on himself. He did not lean away. Only stared back at him with big eyes. Still anxious, still confused. 

But, still hopeful. Trusting. Or beginning to.

So, he continued forward until there was barely any space between the two. Not looming, for he sat straight, but definitely in Shang Qinghua’s personal space.

And his husband only blinked up at him. Nervous. Shy. So, so sweet.

He loved his husband so much.

And Mobei Jun needs him to know.

“You are my husband,” he stated. Shang Qinghua stared. Mobei Jun slowly lifted his hand, and when Shang Qinghua did not flinch away, he brushed some loose hairs behind his husband’s ear. His hair was always a mess in the mornings. “You are my husband,” he repeated, cupping his cheek in his hand now. “You are safe here. Nothing and no one will harm you while you are by my side. I will not let anything happen to you.”

A tear fell from his husband’s face.

Shang Qinghua told him, once, when he had too much to drink, about how unhappy he was in his past life. About his family. His father.

He was an asshole!

“You are safe,” Mobei Jun repeated.

He was always drinking!

“You are loved,” he told his husband.

He…he hit me. He was so mean. I was so scared of him. I hated him.

Mobei Jun hated the thought that he ever made Shang Qinghua feel like that. That he ever hurt him. That he ever laid a hand on him.

The thought that Shang Qinghua was ever truly afraid of him haunts him every day. Mobei Jun isn’t sure he can ever forgive himself. But, he can promise his husband, and himself, that he will never hurt him again.

“I love you, Qinghua. Don’t be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Shang Qinghua was crying in earnest now. But, he nodded his head, and then…

He leaned forward.

His hands, that so desperately gripped his own robes before, came around Mobei Jun’s neck, clutching him tightly. He rested his forehead against Mobei Jun’s chest, crying into his robes. 

And it was only when Mobei Jun put his own arms around his precious husband, whispering that everything was going to be alright, that he allowed his own tears to quietly fall.

Shang Qinghua behaved so differently from when Mobei Jun had first brought him to his palace, all those years ago. When Shang Qinghua before was nervous, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Sticking to Mobei Jun’s side because at least he knew what to expect from him, even if it caused him pain.

Now, Shang Qinghua practically bounces from one room to another, one demon to another. Starting a conversation with everyone he sees. His staff adores him. Anyone who didn’t, who worked for his Uncle, is long gone by now. After a short explanation, everyone in the palace knows that Shang Qinghua is dealing with some memory loss. Mobei Jun knows this knowledge will not make it past these walls. He trusts his servants. And they are all kind to Shang Qinghua in return. 

And Shang Qinghua is so…excited. His eyes light up at everything he sees.

“I made that!” he has said more than once, pointing to a rare tree in their courtyard, or a weapon in the armory. 

Smiling at Mobei Jun whenever they make eye contact. Pulling him along by his hand. Knowing that Mobei Jun will let him. 

A striking, terrible thought hits him hard.

That they could have had this. 

If Mobei Jun had been kinder. Better. If he had treated Shang Qinghua with respect, instead of bullying, and yelling, and hitting him. If Mobei Jun had only treated Shang Qinghua like he deserved to be treated. If he wasn’t such a goddamn fool. That they could have had this. Mobei Jun could have had this.

“Are you okay?” his husband asked, seeing his mood dampen. 

Mobei Jun sighed, and gave him a smile. “Mn. I am fine.”

Shang Qinghua made a face, but his attention was caught once again by another demon walking along the hallway, who indulged the human by nodding his head while Shang Qinghua spoke a mile a minute.

About an hour later, Shang Qinghua dragged Mobei Jun into the library. He did not know it was a library until he opened the doors, and gasped dramatically, flying around the two story chamber, his dark blue robes billowing behind him.

The library used to be quite small, but his husband is very fond of books.

Now, Shang Qinghua sits at one of the large tables of the chamber, with several books and scrolls laid out around him. His eyes wander from each text, a small smile on his face as he reads about potions, spirits, curses, landmarks, and anything else he can find. Everything that he created. 

Mobei Jun was never able to see this side of Shang Qinghua. He has no idea how…strange it must be, to fall into a world of your own creation. To look around and know that you made these things. These people. 

Mobei Jun knows his husband was mistreated at his old Peak. They were unkind to him. And before that, he had an absent father, a bedridden mother, and an older brother who never hit him, but hurt him with his words just as much. 

And before that, in Shang Qinghua’s first life, his father beat him.

Shang Qinghua has only known hardship, in both of his lives, and it is not fair. Mobei Jun wished he could go back. That he could find Shang Qinghua even sooner. That he wasn’t blinded by his hatred and mistrust of humans just because he had a bad experience with a few of them when he was a child. He hated that for a long time, he added to Shang Qinghua’s misfortune. 

Shang Qinghua showed him, over and over again, that he was brave, smart, strong, and trustworthy. He stood by his side. Caught him when he fell. Literally. Saved his life more than once. And still, Mobei Jun was cruel.

And he didn’t even notice. Didn’t realize. 

Until it should have been too late. 

Until both Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua were bloodied and broken heaps on the ground. When he saved him, yet again, from his Uncle. When Shang Qinghua screamed at him. That no one liked to be hit. No one wanted to be thrown around.

It hurts, doesn’t it?! He had yelled, after pinching Mobei Jun’s cheeks. He couldn’t move, he was so exhausted from the trial. Shang Qinghua could have done anything to him. Could have hurt him. Killed him. 

And all he did was pinch his cheeks.

And when Mobei Jun finally had enough strength to stand, to look for him, go after him. When he happened upon his Uncle about to take Shang Qinghua away from him forever. When Shang Qinghua was scared, and alone, and close to death.

He called his name.

After everything. Everything he had done to him, Shang Qinghua still called for his King.

Mobei Jun agreed to every little thing Shang Qinghua demanded. Everything he asked for paled in comparison to what he deserved. To what he did for him.

Noodles. 

He wanted Mobei Jun to make him noodles.

That’s when Mobei Jun promised himself. He promised Shang Qinghua, too. Aloud. But, quietly, internally, and only to himself. 

He would never hurt Shang Qinghua. Never again.

“Mobei Jun?”

Mobei Jun looked at his husband, who stood in front of him now. His face was slightly flushed from running around the library. His robes a little wrinkled. His hair escaping his bun that Mobei Jun did for him this morning. 

He was so beautiful.

“Mn?” 

“You’re…sad.” Shang Qinghua looked nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to the next, like he said something he shouldn’t have.

Mobei Jun smiled at him. “Only a little,” he confessed.

“Cause I don’t have my memories? I’m sorry…”

Mobei Jun shook his head. “It is not your fault.”

“I’ve been trying to think, and I can’t remember any plot points dealing with memory loss.” Shang Qinghua chews at his lower lip, thinking. “There was an amnesia wife plot once for Luo Binghe, but it wasn’t a curse. It was a flower scent that she inhaled, but they just needed to papapa, and she was all set!”

Mobei Jun blinked down at husband, unsure of half of what he just said. They didn’t talk much about the original characters, especially about that Luo Binghe, but wife? It was hard to imagine Luo Binghe with anyone other than Shen Qingqiu.

And what the hell does papapa mean?

Shang Qinghua’s face grew very red, and he laughed nervously. 

Ah. Must be a sex thing. Shang Qinghua always gets so flustered about sex, even after their five years of marriage.

Mobei Jun chuckled. “We did not leave the palace yesterday, so this flower is most likely not the case.”

“Right…” he said with another laugh. So cute.

But if Shang Qinghua does not even know what this could be, then he has no leads.

“Sorry,” Shang Qinghua said, his nerves gone and in its place a guilt that should not be there.

Mobei Jun took his hand. “It is not your fault,” he repeated. “We will figure it out. We always do.”

Shang Qinghua looked at their hands, then smiled up at him. 

“Are you hungry?” Mobei Jun asked.

Shang Qinghua grinned sheepishly. “Yeah!”

“Mn.”

Mobei Jun very much wanted to make his husband noodles right now.

Shang Qinghua was on the ladder leaning against one of the bookshelves on the second floor when Mobei Jun returned. He placed the two bowls of steaming noodles on the table, careful of not touching the mess Shang Qinghua has made with texts and scrolls everywhere. 

He smiled as his husband, hands full of several books, was reaching over for another. 

“Qinghua,” he called to him.

Shang Qinghua smiled down at him, opened his mouth to say something, missed his footing, and slipped. 

He yelped as he fell to the ground, his eyes closed like he was bracing for an impact. 

He fell into Mobei Jun’s arms.

They were both on the floor. Mobei Jun was a big man, and he landed hard on his backside, cradling his human close. The books Shang Qinghua held were sprawled all around them.

Shang Qinghua gasped out a small breath, and looked up at him with huge eyes when Mobei Jun leaned them forward to look over him. Shang Qinghua continued to grip Mobei Jun’s robes, but he saw how he hunched his shoulders, curling in on himself. How he pursed his lips. How he sounded so small when he said, “Sorry…I-I’m sorry.” Like he was scared of being reprimanded. Yelled at. Hit.

Punished.

Shang Qinghua may not remember his second life at the moment, their life, but his first one is still fresh in his mind. Mobei Jun could see it in the way his small hands started to shake in their grip, and his eyes became wet. 

If this situation happened with his husband’s memories intact, Shang Qinghua would apologize, but do it while laughing. Trusting his husband to only roll his eyes, or laugh along with him.

But to this Shang Qinghua, his husband was still a stranger. He could promise and promise that Shang Qinghua was safe, and that he would never hurt him. But he does not know Mobei Jun right now. And words and just that.

But, that is okay. Mobei Jun does not mind showing him.

So, he smiles down at his husband. A warm, loving smile that he does not need to feign. Shang Qinghua blinks at him, his eyes still wet.

“It is fine,” Mobei Jun says as he runs his knuckles along Shang Qinghua’s cheek. “There is no need to apologize. Are you alright?”

Shang Qinghua swallowed, his grip loosening on his robes, and he nodded.

“Good. Ready to eat?” he asked.

Shang Qinghua smiled. A small one, but a smile nonetheless. He nodded again. 

Mobei Jun helped him to his feet, and Shang Qinghua looked around. “What about the mess?” he asked, still quiet. Still nervous. 

“Leave it. We will get to it later.”

Shang Qinghua gives him a very familiar look. “You’re just gonna make something else do it, aren’t you?”

Mobei Jun laughed, and pulled his husband close to him. He cannot help but give him a small kiss, on his temple. “My husband knows me so well.”

Shang Qinghua’s face grew hot, and he laughed. A real one. Then, he got up on his tiptoes, threw his arms around Mobei Jun’s neck, and hugged him. 

Mobei Jun paused for one second before returning the embrace. 

One second with that sullen thought creeping into the back of his mind.

It could have been like this. 

“These are the best noodles I’ve ever had!” 

Shang Qinghua rubbed his belly like he was full, but continued to eat. Mobei Jun chuckled.

“I am glad you enjoy them.”

Shang Qinghua always said, ever since the first time Mobei Jun made him noodles all those years ago, that his were the best he’d ever had. Mobei Jun knows his husband was lying, for the first batch he made was terrible. He was so…nervous. Scared, even, that if they weren’t good enough. That if he fucked up this one, small favor Shang Qinghua asked for, that he would leave. And Mobei Jun would never see him again.

But, Shang Qinghua had taken one bite, and with tears in his eyes, told him they were the best he’d ever had.

Since that day, Mobei Jun had worked very hard to make that true.

“Okay,” Shang Qinghua said, wiping his face with his sleeve. “So, the flower is ruled out. Um, sorry, I know I should know this more than anyone, hah, but, do you know of anything that could have caused this?”

Mobei Jun thinks, but cannot remember anything odd that happened yesterday. They went to bed last night the same as any other. He tells his husband as much.

“Hm…” Shang Qinghua taps his chin with his finger, like he always does when he is thinking. “There are some memory curses, but they are usually more…aggressive than this. Like the victim is bedridden, or goes insane and stuff.”

Mobei Jun stiffend, and Shang Qinghua waved his hands frantically. 

“That’s not what this is! I’m perfectly fine! If I was cursed, you’d know, right? Do you sense anything?”

Mobei Jun relaxed slightly. His husband is right. If this was a curse, he would have sensed it the moment he woke up this morning. But, there is no malicious intent or energy around him at all. He shook his head.

“Okay, see? I’m fine,” Shang Qinghua said as he smiled at him. 

“Mn.” And Mobei Jun could not help his own smile in return.

Shang Qinghua burped lightly as he finished off his meal. “Okay, so no flower. No curse…what the heck is wrong with me?” He groaned.

A thought came to him. “Can you ask that system of yours?” Mobei Jun asked.

Shang Qinghua tilted his head to the side. Cute. “System? What’s that?”

“I am not entirely sure. You spoke of it often in the past, but not so much recently. It is something that was with you since you came into this world. It told you to do certain things.” Shang Qinghua looked thoroughly confused now. “You called it the system, and said it went to sleep after...our wedding.” 

Shang Qinghua actually told him it stopped speaking to him after they saved the world from the merging of the two realms, but Mobei Jun did not think he needed that on his plate.

“Huh…system? Like a quest log?” His husband asked.

“I…do not know what that means.”

Shang Qinghua chuckled, and Mobei Jun felt himself smiling.

“Okay…lemme try,” he said, sitting up straight. “Um…system? Are you there?”

Shang Qinghua flinched back, and Mobei Jun stood up quickly, but Shang Qinghua looked at him, grasping his hand on the table. 

“Ah, it’s okay! I was just startled! Give me a sec…” 

Mobei Jun sat back down, but held onto Shang Qinghua’s hand tightly, searching his husband’s faraway look for any sign of discomfort. 

But the only look on his husband’s face was annoyance. 

“Maintenance required?! What maintenance?” He made another look, one of disgust. “Why??” A pause. “That’s not my fault! If I don’t need you, why wouldn’t I put you in rest mode?” His husband scoffed. “Well, why didn’t you tell me inactivity would lead to this?” He gasped dramatically. “ Excuse me? If it was something this important you should have exited rest mode and told me!” Shang Qinghua rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, you are the worst. Whatever! Just…how long??”

It was…unusual, to see this happen in real time. Finally, after another one of Shang Qinghua’s…face journeys, he groaned, and waved his hand in front of his face, like he was pushing something away. Then, he finally locked eyes with Mobei Jun.

Just as quickly, he looked away. “Okay, so…it was the system. Apparently because of inactivity, it needed to go into maintenance mode.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” Mobei Jun asked.

“Well, my mind has kind of been…wiped. Or reset.”

Mobei Jun gripped Shang Qinghua’s hand. He hadn’t let go.

“What does that mean?” he repeated, more urgently. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine!” Shang Qinghua said, bringing his other hand on top of their entwined fingers. “I’m really okay! It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s just a temporary wipe!”

Mobei Jun did not relax his posture, but he loosened his grip on his husband’s hand, gently running his thumb along his knuckles. 

“Then…your memories?”

“They’ll come back!” His husband reassured him. 

Mobei Jun sighed a breath of relief. They had lived an entire life together, and although there were many bad memories, there was good, too. Five years of marriage. Mobei Jun’s past mistakes. The good and the bad. They made them what they are today. And Mobei Jun would be sad to lose that.

He would live with it. He does not love the man any less for what he does not remember, but to lose everything they had been through would be…disheartening. He is relieved they do not have to.

“How long?” he asked Shang Qinghua.

He averted his eyes again. “Uh…thirty days…”

A month. A month, and then Shang Qinghua’s memory will return. No curses. No pain. Shang Qinghua will be just fine.

Thank the gods.

Mobei Jun brought his husband’s hand to his face, and kissed his knuckles. “Good.”

Shang Qinghua blushed. “You’re not…upset?”

“You are well. Not cursed. You are safe beside me. And your memory will return. How could I be upset?”

Shang Qinghua smiled. “It’s a long time…”

“Whether it be thirty days, or thirty years. You are my husband, and I will be by your side.”

Shang Qinghua’s lip wobbled, and he stood up, quickly making his way around the table. Mobei Jun knew what he was going to do before he did it, so he opened his arms.

And his husband threw himself into them.

They were in the garden, kneeling side by side. It was getting late, and Mobei Jun should usher his husband inside for dinner, but he did not want to ruin this moment. 

Shang Qinghua looked so soft as he tended to the garden next to him. It was massive. His husband always loved plants and flowers, and while it was hard to find ones that would survive in the harsh cold of the Northern Desert, he did. 

There is very little Mobei Jun would not do for his husband.

“This one is an Ice Lily!” Shang Qinghua told him, his eyes lighting up with excitement. “It thrives in cold weather. In the daytime, it’s frozen, but at night, the petals unfurl, and it glows! Isn’t that cool?!”

“Mn. Very cool.” Mobei Jun knows this. He knows about every flower and plant in their garden, because Shang Qinghua has told him about every flower and plant in their garden. But, he does not mind. He loves when the human gets so excited that he rambles. 

This moment is so familiar to when he first showed Shang Qinghua the garden, about a month into their marriage. It was much smaller, then, with only several plants, but Shang Qinghua’s eyes lit up just the same. And it has grown much since then.

Shang Qinghua pulled his coat more tightly around him. 

“If you are cold, we can go back inside,” Mobei Jun tells him.

He shook his head. “No, I’m okay. I wanna stay here a bit longer,” he said, leaning his head against Mobei Jun’s shoulder. Like it was something he naturally does. 

It is. But, Shang Qinghua does not remember that. And yet, he is leaning against his stranger of a husband all the same. With so much trust.

No, Mobei Jun does not wish to ruin this moment, at all.

And he doesn’t. 

Luo Binghe does…

The idiot . 

Bursting through a portal in the middle of their garden, towering over the both of them.

Shang Qinghua squeaks, flinching away so hard he falls directly into the snow on his back. 

Mobei Jun is by his side in an instant, helping his husband sit up.

“Luo Binghe?!” Shang Qinghua cried, clutching onto Mobei Jun’s robes. He’s shaking. Scared. Again.

Mobei Jun shoots a glare at the demon sovereign. 

Luo Binghe manages to look a little guilty, his demonic energy vanishing at once. It is still there, for Mobei Jun can feel it, but Luo Binghe seems to be tampering it down to the point where even a high level human cultivator would not feel it.

Shang Qinghua breathed out a heavy breath, and although his hands were still shaking, he seemed to be more at ease with the energy gone.

“Ah,” Luo Binghe said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That answers that question…”

Mobei Jun continued to glare. “My Lord…”

“Right, right.” Luo Binghe turned toward Shang Qinghua, who stiffened. Then, he bowed his head. “Apologies, Shang-shishu. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“Uh…” Shang Qinghua looked from Luo Binghe to Mobei Jun, confusion written all over his face. 

“He is not the Luo Binghe you wrote,” Mobei Jun explained, hoping that would help. 

It did. Shang Qinghua made a little o shape with his mouth, like he does when he understands something, and Mobei Jun smiled.

“Please excuse the intrusion,” Luo Binghe continued. “I came here because there is something wrong with Shizun’s memory. I wanted to ask for Shang-shishu’s help, but it seems he is in the same predicament.”

“Consort Shen lost his memories, as well?” Mobei Jun asked, and Luo Binghe nodded with an angry pout.

“Consort Shen?” Shang Qinghua whispered. “Like…Shen Qingqiu?!” he said more loudly. “You…you’re married to—”

“He’s not that Shen Qingqiu,” Luo Binghe said. “He’s…like you.”

“He’s a transmigrator!?” Shang Qinghua said.

Mobei Jun did not know what that meant.

“I don’t know what that means,” Luo Binghe said. 

“He’s from another world, too?” Shang Qinghua asked, thoroughly interested.

Luo Binghe hummed. “He’s from your world.”

“For real?!” Shang Qinghua said, looking at Mobei Jun, who nodded.

“You are friends,” Mobei Jun said. “You sometimes call him…Cucumber Bro…?”

Mobei Jun never understood that. But, he rarely understands much of what those two say when they are together. Especially when they speak in that unusual language that only the two of them seem to know.

“Cucumber…Peerless Cucumber?! Oh my god, Shen Qingqiu is Peerless Cucumber! That’s so crazy!”

“Mn,” Mobei Jun agreed, because that was easier than digesting all of that.

Luo Binghe stepped in front of Shang Qinghua, and reached out a hand to him. Shang Qinghua only looked at it for a second before releasing Mobei Jun’s robes to take it. That explanation seemed to be all he needed, because he was no longer scared. If anything, he looked enchanted. His eyes were huge as he looked up at him in wonder.

Mobei Jun knew that Luo Binghe was Shang Qinghua’s main protagonist in his book. He told him as such. His husband also told him more than once that Mobei Jun was his favorite character, and he thinks of Luo Binghe as “his son,” so he tried not to feel too jealous as Shang Qinghua unabashedly stared at the demon lord.

Luo Binghe helped Shang Qinghua to his feet, brushing off snow from his back and shoulders. “You’re okay, then? No pain or discomfort?” he asked as he straightened the collar of Shang Qinghua’s coat. 

“Nope. I’m good!” he said, flashing a grin to Luo Binghe, and then to Mobei Jun as he stood up beside him. His smile dropped instantly, and he looked back at Luo Binghe with a ping of worry. “Why? Is Cucumber Bro hurt?”

Luo Binghe shook his head. “No. He…he’s well. I just don’t know how to help him. Do you know what’s wrong?”

“The system,” Mobei Jun answered.

A dark look fell upon Luo Binghe’s face. “The thing that made Shizun push me into the Abyss?” His demonic qi spiked, and Shang Qinghua gasped beside him, grabbing Mobei Jun’s arm.

It was gone a second later. “Sorry, Shang-shishu,” Luo Binghe said again, bowing. When he lifted back up, Mobei Jun smacked him in the back of the head. Luo Binghe narrowed his eyes at him, more annoyed than angry, but said nothing.

“It’s fine!” Shang Qinghua said quickly, waving his free hand in front of him. Then, he tugged on Mobei Jun’s robe. “Don’t hit him,” he chastised. Mobei Jun nodded his head, but rolled his eyes when Luo Binghe stuck his tongue out at him. “I’m sorry his system made him do that…” Shang Qinghua continued.

“It is not your fault,” Mobei Jun told him. Shang Qinghua looked at the ground, making a face.

“Mobei is right,” Luo Binghe stated. “You didn’t create these…systems.”

Shang Qinghua glanced up at the demon lord, then at his husband. “Okay,” he said reluctantly. “Well, it is the system. It’s…doing some stuff right now, so it had to wipe my memory. I’m assuming it’s the same for Shen Qingqiu. My memory will return in a month.”

Luo Binghe looked relieved and unsettled at the same time.

“Ah. A month. That’s…good. Well, I should head back. I don’t want to be away from Shizun for much longer.”

Shang Qinghua wrapped both his arms around Mobei Jun’s left arm, leaning in close. He must be freezing by now. “Just tell him to check his system! There should be some pop ups about maintenance, but I’m sure it’s the same as me.” He sniffled.

“You are cold,” Mobei Jun said to him.

“I’m fine,” he said, hugging him even closer.

Mobei Jun rolled his eyes. “You are not. You are freezing.”

“Am not,” he shot back.

Mobei Jun hummed. “Then, I suppose you do not wish to take a warm bath. Since you are not cold.”

Shang Qinghua scoffed. “Okay…maybe I am a little cold.”

“Mn. That is what I thought.”

“Shut up!” Shang Qinghua said with a bright laugh. Mobei Jun smiled down at him.

When he looked back up, Luo Binghe was staring at the both of them with an unreadable expression.

“What is it?” he asked him. Luo Binghe is usually an open book. Either pouting, or calling after his husband. 

Luo Binghe sighed quietly. “Shang-shishu seems…comfortable.”

Mobei Jun glanced down at his husband, who cocked his head. “Hm. I am,” Shang Qinghua said.

Luo Binghe seemed to consider this. Then, he blurted, “Shizun is afraid of me.”

Mobei Jun did not know what to say to that.

Thankfully, his husband did. 

“Oh,” Shang Qinghua said. “I’m sorry. Have you…talked to him?”

“Talked?” Luo Binghe asked.

“Yeah. Like, that you’re married and he’s safe with you.”

Luo Binghe nodded. “I have told him as such. It didn’t seem to…help.”

His friend looked distraught, and Mobei Jun squeezed his shoulder. He doesn’t have to imagine how that felt. Having his husband wake and not remembering him. Being afraid of him.

“What exactly did you say to him?” Shang Qinghua asked.

Luo Binghe huffed. “I told him that he was my Shizun. My husband. That I understood that something was wrong with his memory, but he is safe with me.”

“So, you told him he is your husband. That he’s your Shen Qingqiu. But, does he understand that he is not Shen Qingqiu?” 

“What do you mean?” the demon lord asked.

“When I first woke up this morning, I was…scared,” Shang Qinghua said, looking at Mobei Jun with a guilty smile. Mobei Jun kissed his hair in return. He hummed contently, and smiled genuinely before continuing. “But, Mobei Jun explained to me that he knew I wasn’t the character Shang Qinghua. That I was just Shang Qinghua. His Shang Qinghua.” He sighed. “If your husband woke up, in someone else’s body. And not just anyone’s, but Shen Qingqiu’s. Who was killed by the original Luo Binghe, no less! Then of course he is scared!”

Luo Binghe opened and closed his mouth, his eyebrows knitting together. “Maybe I wasn’t…clear enough.”

Shang Qinghua nodded his head. “Yes, be very, very clear! It was scary enough for me, but you’re Luo Binghe! The demon sovereign! If I was in Shen Qingqiu’s body I would be running for the hills!”

Luo Binghe made a pained face. “Okay. I’ll talk to him. Should I talk to him tonight? Shizun locked himself in our room. I don’t want to…distress him any further.”

“Yes! Tonight! As soon as possible. Let him know the life you shared, the marriage, is with him. Poor Cucumber Bro must be freaking out right now! He probably won’t be able to sleep!”

Luo Binghe made a distressed noise, but nodded his head. 

“And make sure to knock!” Shang Qinghua added. “Don’t just barge in with your portal thingies! That’s invading his space and it’ll just freak him out more!”

Luo Binghe nodded again very seriously. Like a good student. 

“And…do you know his name? His real name?” Shang Qinghua asked.

Luo Binghe blinked. “Yes. Shen Yuan.” 

“Okay, good. Start calling him that, instead. It might help. I was lucky enough to transmigrate into the character I named after myself,” he said with a laugh. 

Mobei Jun smiled. He knew that. And also the reason Shang Qinghua named the character after himself was because he spent the most time with Mobei Jun. When his husband told him that, Mobei Jun did not stop teasing him for hours.

Luo Binghe bowed one last time. “Thanking Shang-shishu for the advice. I will speak to him right away.”

“Lord Luo,” Mobei Jun said before the demon could disappear. “Let’s get together soon. The four of us.” 

A month is a long time, and although Shang Qinghua is not afraid of him, or of any of the other demons in their household, being around a human, and an old friend, even if he does not remember him, will probably do some good for his husband. And Shen Qingqiu.

Luo Binghe seemed to understand. “That’s a great idea, Mobei. I’ll be in touch. Thank you both for your time. Goodnight,” Luo Binghe said, rather quickly.

“Night!” Shang Qinghua called after the portal. He sighed. “I hope they’ll be okay.”

“I am sure they will be fine after he explains himself,” Mobei Jun said.

Shang Qinghua hummed. “Yeah. I can’t believe Peerless Cucumber transmigrated, too! He used to talk so much shit on the forums.”

“Mn,” Mobei Jun said, once again not understanding his husband.

Shang Qinghua seemed to gauge this, and he laughed. Then he let go of his arm, and before Mobei Jun could even miss his husband’s warmth on his side, he felt it again on his front as Shang Qinghua’s arms wrapped around his middle.

Mobei Jun felt so much love for the man, he thought he would explode. Instead, he laid a hand on his head, and patted his hair. 

“Are you okay?” he asked his husband.

Shang Qinghua hummed. “Yeah. Just…thank you.”

“For what?”

His husband looked up at him, still hugging him, and smiled. “For being so great. Thank you for being patient with me this morning, and explaining everything. I was…really scared.”

Mobei Jun cupped his cheek, stroking it with his thumb lightly. “I know. There is no need for thanks. I was happy to do it.”

He smiled, then sighed. “Luo Binghe was so sad. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that.”

Mobei Jun shook his head. “It is not your fault. The circumstances were…not ideal.”

Shang Qinghua scoffed. “I’ll say.”

“Thank you. For listening,” Mobei Jun said. “For trusting me.”

Shang Qinghua grinned. “How could I not trust my handsome, loving husband?”

He chuckled, and kissed his forehead. When Shang Qinghua blushed, he chuckled again. It does not take much to embarrass his husband.

“Come. You have been out in the cold for too long. Let me make you something warm to eat.”

Shang Qinghua smiled up at him. “Yes, please! And then…could I have that warm bath you were talking about earlier?”

Mobei Jun laughed. “Of course. Anything for you.”

Shang Qinghua made a noise, and hid his face against Mobei Jun’s chest. He was embarrassed again.

He loved this precious human so much.

It was late, and they should head to bed, but Shang Qinghua was curled up in Mobei Jun’s lap, his head resting against Mobei Jun’s thigh, his eyes slowly closing, and then opening again as he tried and failed to continue reading the book in his hands. He was obviously tired, but refused to go to bed every time Mobei Jun asked him. So, instead, he carded his fingers through Shang Qinghua’s damp hair, which he knew made his husband extremely pliant and sleepy. That, along with the roaring fireplace right in front of them, was too much for his human, and his eyes finally closed all the way, the book thumping quietly to the floor beside him. 

Mobei Jun chuckled lightly. He closed the book, and set it aside for now. Doing his best not to jostle Shang Qinghua too much, Mobei Jun picked up his husband, and carried him to bed. 

They were already dressed for the night. Shang Qinghua only put on his sleeping robes when he exited the bath, and Mobei Jun was grateful for it. He was not sure he would be able to undress him without waking him.

Although, when he laid him down on their bed gently, Shang Qinghua blinked up at him, eyes glassy in his drowsiness. 

“Sorry. I did not mean to wake you,” Mobei Jun said with a smile. 

Shang Qinghua pursed his lips, and leaned up on his elbows. He looked him right in the eyes.

“I don’t want to go to sleep.”

He was adamant earlier, when Mobei Jun tried to coax him into bed after his bath. He really did not want to go to bed. Mobei Jun did not think much of it at the time, his husband was always stubborn.

But, he looked…nervous. 

Mobei Jun frowned. He did just place him on their bed. He had assumed that would be okay, but maybe not. Mobei Jun still was a stranger in his eyes. “If you are…uncomfortable with the sleeping arrangements, I can sleep on the floor. Or in a separate room.” The last thing he wanted was to make Shang Qinghua uncomfortable, although sleeping in a different room would not be pleasurable for him.

Shang Qinghua shook his head frantically, grabbing his arm. “No…it’s not that…”

Mobei Jun sat down next to him, pulling his hand off his arm so he could hold it in his hand instead. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go to sleep,” he said again, barely a whisper.

“Why not?” he asked, just as quietly. 

“What if I wake up and…you’re not there?” he whispered. “What if none of this is real? What if it’s all a ridiculous dream my subconscious created?” he blurted. The volume difference in his tone made Mobei Jun chuckle.

“It is not. It is real. And you will wake by my side.”

Shang Qinghua scoffed. “It’s just…hard to believe. It’s all so…crazy.”

“Mn,” he agreed. “Crazy, but real.”

“I just don’t understand. Why would you choose to marry me? You could have anyone!”

Mobei Jun frowned. “I do not want anyone. I want you.”

“But…”

“No one else. There is no one else for me. That is why.”

Shang Qinghua lowered his head, but his hand tightened in his hold. Mobei Jun sighed. 

His husband has always had low confidence in himself, but they were working on it. On what it meant to trust each other. To trust that they loved one another. And these past five years have been the happiest of his life, and Mobei Jun hoped it was the same for Shang Qinghua.

But, Shang Qinghua does not remember the past five years. He remembered his terrible family, who treated him like dirt. Shang Qinghua was afraid he would wake to find himself upon their unpleasant company again.

Mobei Jun breathed out quietly, letting his anger dissipate before Shang Qinghua could even sense it. He did not want him to think he was angry with him.

“Qinghua,” he started.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, still not looking at him.

Mobei Jun shook his head. “May I lay down?”

Shang Qinghua’s face warmed, but he nodded, scooting over onto the other side of the bed. 

When Mobei Jun laid down beside him, Shang Qinghua was stiff as a board, lying down on his back, and staring up at the ceiling. 

Mobei Jun sighed loudly. “It is so cold over here. If only I had someone to keep me warm.”

He heard Shang Qinghua giggle, and could not help the smile that tugged at his own lips at the sound. 

“You’re an Ice Demon,” Shang Qinghua said, and he could practically hear his husband roll his eyes. 

He moved his hand along the bed, feeling for Shang Qinghua’s own. When he found it, he only rested his hand there, but Shang Qinghua interlaced their fingers a second later. 

Mobei Jun smiled. “Qinghua,” he said, still lying on his back. He turned his head to look at him, and Shang Qinghua was already looking back. “We have been through much together. Not all of it was pleasant, but you have always been the one for me. You are my soulmate. And I am very lucky to be able to call you my husband.”

Shang Qinghua swallowed. “I’m sorry. It’s just…hard to hear. To believe that…”

“I know,” Mobei Jun said, though it pained him. “It’s okay. You do not have to…believe me. Not right now. Just trust me. Trust me to show you.”

Shang Qinghua turned into him, curling up close. Mobei Jun waved his hand to extinguish the candles, and brought up the furs to cover them both, before reaching over and laying his arm over his husband. He ran his hand soothingly along his back, up and down.

They were quiet for a long while, but he knew Shang Qinghua was still awake. His breathing was still shallow, like he was willing himself not to cry. “What if I’m annoying?” Shang Qinghua whispered. 

“You are not.” Shang Qinghua was very annoying, and Mobei Jun loved him all the more for it, but he would not tell him this now. 

“I talk a lot. I’m loud.”

“It is endearing,” Mobei Jun answered truthfully.

“What if I disappoint you?” 

“You could never.”

“But, I’m not the man you married. Not right now. What if I do something wrong and—”

“Qinghua,” he said, stopping him short. Shang Qinghua curled even more against him, like he was scared he would be pushed away a second later.

Mobei Jun put an arm around his waist instead, bringing him flush against his chest. Shang Qinghua’s breath hitched. 

“You are my husband. With or without your memories. Whether you are in this body, or not. You are mine.” He kissed his hair, and Shang Qinghua gripped his robes tight. “I do not expect anything from you. There is nothing you could do wrong. You could never disappoint me. Do not worry.”

Shang Qinghua was sniffling, and Mobei Jun sighed fondly. He has not shown this much vulnerability since their early days of marriage. 

“Do not stress yourself,” Mobei Jun said after another pause. “Just, let me take care of you. Will you allow me this, Qinghua?”

Shang Qinghua cried quietly, nodding his head against Mobei Jun’s chest. 

Mobei Jun smiled, and kissed his hair again. He waited until Shang Qinghua’s breathing evened out, before he finally let himself drift.

It did not matter if every night for the next month was like this. Or every day after that. He would whisper reassurances to his husband for the rest of his life, and gladly, if that was what Shang Qinghua needed to fall asleep peacefully. 

Mobei Jun felt Shang Qinghua stir. He kept his eyes closed, just like yesterday morning. He heard Shang Qinghua gasp quietly, and then breathe out. He did not move for a few moments. He must be staring. Realizing that it was not a dream, and he woke beside him, just like Mobei Jun said he would. 

He wished to give him this. A moment for him to just be near, and present. So, Mobei Jun continued to lay there.

Shang Qinghua’s warm fingers lightly caressed his cheek, then his jaw. When Mobei Jun felt Shang Qinghua’s fingers twirling in his hair, he could no longer keep up his charade. He smiled.

When he opened his eyes, Shang Qinghua squeaked, releasing his hair and covering his face with his hands. Mobei Jun laughed, gently prying the hands from his face. He kissed the pressure point of each of his wrists when Shang Qinghua finally looked at him, his face flushed from sleep and embarrassment.

“Good morning, husband,” Mobei Jun said teasingly.

“You’re terrible,” he replied. “How long were you awake?” 

Mobei Jun wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close. “I do not know what you mean.”

Shang Qinghua huffed and rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “I’m gonna remember this.”

Mobei Jun rolled on top of him, but lifted himself up, a hand on both sides of his face, not wanting to crush his human. “Mn. Maybe I should give you something else to remember.”

Mobei Jun did not think he had ever seen his husband get so red so fast. Or his eyes grow so wide.

He chuckled. “I am only teasing, Qinghua,” he said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. Lifting himself completely off the man before he burst into flames, he slid off the bed. “Come. Let us get ready for the day.”

When Mobei Jun reached their wardrobe to grab their robes, he glanced behind him. Shang Qinghua was still on the bed, sitting on the edge, his feet barely touching the floor. His lips were pursed and he was…

Pouting. That is his pouting face.

Mobei Jun hid his laugh behind a poorly veiled cough. His husband shot a glare his way. 

“Did I tease you too much?” Mobei Jun asked with a smile. “I apologize.”

“No…” Shang Qinghua said, twisting his robes in his hands. “I just…”

“Hm?”

Shang Qinghua mumbled something. When Mobei Jun lifted his eyebrows in question, he sighed loudly. “I thought you were gonna kiss me!” 

Technically, Mobei Jun did kiss him, but he knew that is not what his husband meant.

Shang Qinghua turned a pretty shade of red, hiding his face in his hands again. Mobei Jun couldn’t suppress his smile as he walked over and knelt down in front of him, placing a hand on his knee.

“Did you want me to kiss you properly?” he asked.

Shang Qinghua lowered his hands. He looked at him, then to the floor with a shrug. 

This is something Shang Qinghua does when he wants something, but feels he should not ask, or does not deserve to. 

“Qinghua—”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to…” he said with a tight jaw.

Mobei Jun sighed. “I always want to kiss you, Qinghua.”

His eyes snapped towards him. “Really?”

Now Mobei Jun rolled his eyes. “Of course. I just did not want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I-I’m not! I just…I’m nervous!”

Mobei Jun nodded. “I know for you, we have only known each other for a day. I would not wish to do anything to make you uneasy. But, you may ask me for anything.”

Shang Qinghua sighed. “I know,” he breathed out. “I feel…safe with you. I trust you. I…”

Mobei Jun waited while his husband tried to find the words he was trying to say. He squeezed his knee in reassurance. 

“I wanted you to kiss me,” he finally whispered, like it was a secret. Mobei Jun smiled. 

“Is that so?” he asked. “And now?”

Shang Qinghua huffed. “Mobei Jun,” he said firmly, growing red once more.

“Mn? What is it?” Shang Qinghua made a disgruntled noise, and Mobei Jun chuckled. “I need to hear you say it, Qinghua.”

Placing his hands on his shoulders, he huffed once more, and looked him right in the eyes.

“Mobei Jun! Kiss me, please?”

He did not need to ask twice.

It was short and sweet. Mobei Jun refrained from letting it become too heated. Whether Shang Qinghua was willing or not, this was still the young mind of his husband who had just come to this world, and he would not feel right doing anything more until his memory was returned. It was quite different from how their usual kisses went, but Shang Qinghua did not seem to mind. When he pulled back, his husband’s face was flushed, his lips slightly parted, and he stared at Mobei Jun openly.

“Wow,” he said after a few more seconds of silence. Mobei Jun laughed.

“I am glad you enjoyed it.”

“That was my first kiss,” he said, then laughed. “Well, I guess it wasn’t, but…”

“I am glad to have the honor,” Mobei Jun said truthfully. Twice. Shang Qinghua told him after their real first kiss, that it was truly his first, in both lives. It truly was an honor. “Breakfast?”

Shang Qinghua nodded his head slowly, looking at the wall. Probably thinking of the kiss. He was in a daze for several minutes after their last first kiss. 

Mobei Jun couldn’t wait to tease him more.

The next several days ran smoothly. Shang Qinghua was just as curious and loud as ever, maybe even more. Mobei Jun took him to a few relatively safe places around the Realm. Showed him some of the less violent creatures roaming. 

He seemed to be enjoying himself, and Mobei Jun was enjoying it, too.

“Oh!” Shang Qinghua exclaimed on the seventh night into his new life. “I know where I want to see!”

Mobei Jun hummed in question. This was the routine for the last few nights. As they dressed for bed, his husband would remember something he wanted to see, or a place he wanted to go. They visited the Human Realm just once so far. It seemed Shang Qinghua enjoyed the Demon Realm more, which Mobei Jun was happy about.  

His human was always excited, but he seemed a little more than that for this request.

“You might not know where it is…” he began. “It’s this frozen crystal lake in an underground cavern. I called it—”

“The Beginning,” Mobei Jun finished for him. He knew exactly what he was talking about.

Shang Qinghua lit up. “Yes! You’ve been there?” 

Nodding with a smile, he said, “You take me there for my birthday every year.” Since they were married, Shang Qinghua has done this for him. Demons do not usually celebrate their birthdays like humans do, but Shang Qinghua insisted on doing something. So, every year they pack a blanket and some snacks, and sit along the lake.

It is one of Mobei Jun’s favorite things. No matter how busy each of them are, or whatever is going on in the palace, they always head to the lake, with only one another for company.

“Oh,” his husband said thoughtfully, a small smile on his face. “Can we go tomorrow?” he asked, a little shyly. As if Mobei Jun would ever deny him a thing.

“Of course. We’ll go after our lunch with Lord Luo and Consort Shen.”

Shang Qinghua grinned. “Oh yeah! I get to meet Cucumber bro! Or…see him again, I guess?” When Mobei Jun hummed, he only laughed. “I hope they were able to work everything out.”

“I’m sure if they didn’t, we would have heard of it by now,” he said with a shake of his head. Luo Binghe popped in and out of their home at his own convenience.

Shang Qinghua laughed as he got into bed, and Mobei Jun followed right after, pulling the covers around them.

“Mobei Jun?” he asked, curling up close to his side.

“Mn?”

“I love you,” he said, eyes closed, a smile on his face.

A week. It had only been a week, and his husband was telling him he loved him. It took Mobei Jun years to even realize his own feelings, and it only took Shang Qinghua a week.

Terrible thoughts plagued him. He doesn’t deserve him. He doesn’t deserve to have this man love him. 

He told Luo Binghe as much, years ago when Shang Qinghua and him were just starting out a romantic relationship. It was still new. And it was terrifying. Mobei Jun felt so much for the human. And he had so many doubts in himself. That he wasn’t worthy. That he didn’t deserve another chance.

Then continue to be someone he deserves, his friend had told him.

So, Mobei Jun has been trying to do just that since. 

He wrapped his arms around his husband a little tighter, and kissed his hair. 

“I love you, Qinghua.” So, so much.

Shang Qinghua made a happy noise, and the smile stayed on his face, even after his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

Mobei Jun will do everything in his power to be the man his husband deserves.

Shang Qinghua was nervous. It was obvious from the way he shifted on his feet. From the way his thumb tapped against Mobei Jun’s hand as he held his. 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” he asked.

Silly. Shen Qingqiu adores Shang Qinghua. The two humans have such a bond, Mobei Jun finds himself jealous from time to time. But, he is happy his husband has a dear friend. 

“He loves you,” Mobei Jun said with a smile. “You’re his best friend.”

Shang Qinghua worried his lower lip, but nodded his head, trusting his husband to speak the truth.

“Ready?” he asked, and with another nervous nod, Mobei Jun portaled them away.

Mobei Jun knocked on the door to the little bamboo house. Luo Binghe had written a letter stating they would have their meal there, as his husband was more comfortable in the Human Realm.

The door opened a second later to a grinning Luo Binghe. He looked much happier than when he first visited a week ago. Their talk must have gone well.

“Mobei. Shang-shishu. Welcome!” he said, taking a step back.

Shang Qinghua smiled and waved, thanking him as they were led inside. 

Shen Qingqiu was setting down several plates worth of food that Mobei Jun knew Shang Qinghua would love. Especially if Luo Binghe cooked them. He hated to admit it, but Luo Binghe was an excellent cook.

Shang Qinghua still loved his noodles best, so he didn’t let it bother him too much.

Shen Qingqiu wiped his hands along his robes, and smiled at them, much more shy than Mobei Jun had ever seen him before.

“Hello. Nice to…see you,” he said with a small wave. Mobei Jun had not even lifted back up from his bow before Shang Qinghua spoke.

“Cucumber bro!” he yelled, pointing a finger at Shen Qingqiu.

“Wha-what?!” the peerless immortal sputtered. “How?”

Then, his husband pointed at himself. “Airplane!”

Shen Qingqiu stared, his mouth hanging open. “Airplane?!”

Shang Qinghua nodded with a laugh, and that was all it took.

The two launched into a conversation, pointing and arguing and laughing. This was very familiar, and Mobei Jun could not help his smile. Luo Binghe looked thrilled, grinning from ear to ear as he gazed at his husband.

When they were finally able to settle the two down enough to begin their meal, Luo Binghe did not stop smiling. Mobei Jun tracked the tiny movements of Shen Qingqiu. How he glanced at Luo Binghe constantly, and would turn away with a small smile. How their hands brushed against each other when they reached over the table, making the human’s face turn beat red. How whenever Luo Binghe refilled Shen Qingqiu’s drink, the human would look at him like he was the sun and the moon all in one.

It seemed their talk went very well, indeed. Good.

“And then we saw the three horned rhinos!” Mobei Jun focused back on his husband as he spoke between stuffing his face. “They were huge!”

“You saw them?! And they didn’t attack you?” Shen Qingqiu asked, his eyes wide with wonder.

“Of course not! Mobei Jun made it so we were basically invisible, right?” Shang Qinghua turned to him at the end, and Mobei Jun nodded. All it took was suppressing his demonic energy…and standing far away.

Shen Qingqiu turned to Luo Binghe, a hand on his arm. “...Can we go see them, too?” he asked shyly.

“Of course. Whatever my A Yuan wants he shall have.” 

Mobei Jun didn’t think Luo Binghe’s grin could get any bigger than when his husband gasped in excitement, and hugged him. “Thank you, Binghe!”

Shang Qinghua leaned against his side casually, bringing a welcoming warmth along with him. Mobei Jun brought his arm around his waist, pulling him snug against him.

After their meal was finished, their humans sat outside, conversing about who knows what. They switched to that language Mobei Jun does not understand, so he only watched with a smile as his husband spoke very animatedly. He was surprised to find Shen Qingqiu just as animated. Just as loud. They were both quite—

“They’re so cute,” Luo Binghe said, looking at them through the window. 

“Mn,” Mobei Jun agreed. “It seems your conversation went well.”

Luo Binghe turned to him with a grin, leaning against the wall. “Yeah, Shang-shishu’s advice was great, as always. Shizun was just confused. And…and scared. But, when I explained everything, and he talked to his system,” Luo Binghe made a face at the term. “A Yuan was much more relaxed. He feels…safe with me now.” 

Mobei Jun hummed in approval. He could tell. Shen Qinqiu only showed a nervousness around them at first, but when he found out Shang Qinghua was his…Airplane-bro…he seemed to be quite thrilled.

“Shang-shishu is just as happy as ever,” Luo Binghe said with a smile.

Mobei Jun watched his husband. He was smiling, and laughing, and every so often would turn to him and wave. Yes, he seemed very happy, indeed.

“What’s that look for?” Luo Binghe asked. Mobei Jun brought his attention to him.

“What look?”

“That look,” he said again with a nod.

“I always look like this,” Mobei Jun answered.

Luo Binghe shook his head with an eye roll. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. But you and Shang-shishu were very helpful when I didn’t know what to do with A Yuan. I can at least extend the same courtesy.”

Mobei Jun didn’t think that he was any help. He just kind of stood there. It was his husband with the good advice and ideas, as always. But, he appreciated what Luo Binghe meant.

“I feel as if I am lying to him,” he finally said.

Luo Binghe only raised his eyebrows, gesturing for him to continue.

“He thinks I am this perfect, loving husband,” Mobei Jun said.

“Are you not?” Luo Binghe asked teasingly, a knowing smirk on his face.

Mobei Jun knows he is far from perfect. But, a loving husband? Yes. He loves his husband more than he has ever loved anything in his life. But…still…

“I understand,” Luo Binghe said, more serious this time. “I feel similarly with Shizun. He doesn’t remember our past right now. And…it was rough. There is a lot that I regret.”

Mobei Jun knew of most of his past, but hasn’t heard Luo Binghe speak of it like this. 

“I did not treat him as caringly as I wanted to. Shizun was the most precious to me, and I hurt him.” He stared out to his husband, an unreadable look on his face. Shen Qingqiu must have felt him looking, for he turned toward them, and smiled. Luo Binghe returned his smile, and Shen Qingqiu went right back to chatting with Shang Qinghua.

“Consort Shen loves you,” he said, knowing it to be true. Knowing it is what his friend needed to hear right now.

Luo Binghe smiled at him “And Shang-shishu adores you.”

Mobei Jun hummed. He knows it. But, it was exactly what he needed to hear. 

“We must continue to be who they deserve,” Mobei Jun said, smirking at his friend. 

He returned the gesture. “How wise. Someone truly clever must have told you that.”

“Clever and foolish,” Mobei Jun said, and smiled when Luo Binghe scoffed.

His attention was brought back to their humans, when the two burst into a fit of loud laughter. He couldn’t help his smile, and neither could Luo Binghe.

“I will,” Mobei Jun said quietly. To his friend. To himself. 

He will be deserving of Shang Qinghua.

“I will, too,” Luo Binghe said, just as quiet.

A promise between the two. A promise that they will not break.

“It’s so beautiful.”

“Yes,” Mobei Jun agreed. But, he wasn’t looking at the cavern of ice. He wasn’t looking at the frozen lake that glittered like the night sky. He wasn’t looking at the icicles that hung from the ceiling that shone like crystals. 

He was looking at his husband.

Shang Qinghua wore a hefty coat over his robes. It was colder here than in their home, and his breath was visible as he laughed, spinning around with a look of awe and wonder.

Truly beautiful.

They sat down on a blanket, sharing snacks and sweets. Chatting aimlessly about nothing and everything in between. They spent hours like that. 

“Have I ever told you why I call this place The Beginning?” Shang Qinghua asked, belly full of sweets and a soft smile on his face.

“I have tried to get it out of you, but you always do that thing you do when you are nervous or embarrassed.”

“What thing? ” he asked.

“When your laugh gets weird.”

“I don’t do that,” he said, laughing nervously. Doing the thing.

Mobei Jun chuckled, hugging him closer, kissing his forehead. Shang Qinghua smiled.

His husband looked around the cavern, and put his hand on top of the lake, tapping it twice. Like he had to make sure it was real.

“This was the first thing I ever wrote for my book. For this world. Before Luo Binghe, and before Shen Qingqiu and everything. I couldn’t get this image out of my head. I just started writing it down. It was just a bunch of descriptive words. It was probably boring, but it started it all.”

“And then I just…saw you. I saw you here and knew I had to write you, too. This…this is where you were born, Mobei Jun. Not in a palace, like a little Lord should be, but here.”

That surprised him. Mobei Jun always assumed he was born in his father’s palace. 

“Your mother loved this place,” he continued. “She found it in her youth. It was her special, secret place. She used to visit often.” 

“I…I didn’t know that.” She never told him about it.

Shang Qinghua nodded, a little sad. “You came sooner than the doctor predicted. She had you here, alone. It was just you and her. You were so beautiful. She loved you so much.” Mobei Jun’s throat felt tight. “Your father was livid. He wanted to be there for your birth. He never allowed her to leave the palace again.”

Mobei Jun remembered. How…unhappy his mother was in his youth. She loved him, he knew. And she smiled and laughed and played with him. She was funny, and kind, and ruthless when she wanted to be. But, she was unhappy. She and his father argued all the time. And when she got sick, and left the both of them, his father grew more and more cold.

“This place was made from love. Your mother’s love. My love. I…made this place for you.”

Mobei Jun did not know what to say. All of his struggles, his failures. Every pain and suffering he went through, he felt so alone. But, even then. Even then, Shang Qinghua loved him. When Mobei Jun did not even know of his existence. When Shang Qinghua had never met him before. He was loved.

He had been cruel. A savage. A monster. He had become exactly what his Father and Uncle wanted him to be. 

And Shang Qinghua loved him anyway.

“Are you okay?” his husband asked softly, a warm hand on cheek, wiping the wetness from it.

Mobei Jun laid his hand on top of his. “Qinghua, I love you.”

He smiled at that. “I love you, too.”

“But I do not deserve it,” he said, squeezing his hand. Shang Qinghua’s smile fell.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his forehead creasing the way it does when his husband is displeased.

“I have not treated you kindly,” he began, taking his hand off his face, but holding on tightly. “Or with the respect you deserved. I…I have hurt you.” Shang Qinghua stared at him, unblinking. Mobei Jun swallowed. “I am not a good man.”

“Mobei—”

“And I am selfish. Selfish to marry you. To love you. To even ask you to stay by my side.”

Shang Qinghua was quiet for a long time. They sat together, in the place Shang Qinghua created for him. In the place Shang Qinghua first loved him. His husband has never been so quiet. Their lives were full of constant chatter, and yet this silence has never been so loud.

Finally, Shang Qinghua spoke. 

“Am I happy?” his husband asked.

Mobei Jun turned to him. Shang Qinghua was looking at him with a small smile, and Mobei Jun turned his gaze.

He could not argue that his husband wasn’t happy. He knew he was. Maybe…maybe not before. But, since he came back. Since then…

How he curls up beside him in the bed, covered in furs but never getting too hot for he had his “own personal air conditioner,” whatever that meant. How he steals glances at him whenever they are quietly working, thinking Mobei Jun does not notice, and smiling every time he looks away. How he holds his hand as they take walks around their gardens. How Shang Qinghua speaks so excitedly about his day when they share a meal together.

All the laughs, smiles, looks, kisses.

Yes. His husband was happy.

Eventually, he offered a short nod.

Shang Qinghua chuckled. “Yeah, I figured.”

“Qinghua,” Mobei Jun began, not knowing what he even wanted to say.

“You know of my past? Of my first life? My father?” Mobei Jun narrowed his eyes with a nod. His husband huffed a bitter laugh. “Then, you know. If I was unhappy. If I didn’t love you. If you didn’t treat me well. I wouldn’t have stayed.”

Mobei Jun stared, lips parted to retort back. Because…he didn’t stay. He left. When it got to be too much. When it shouldn’t have gotten to that point in the first place. Mobei Jun may not have understood the extent of the pain he was causing, but he knew he was hurting Shang Qinghua. That was how he was raised. 

But, that was how Shang Qinghua was raised, too. And when had his husband ever hurt anyone? When had he ever been unkind?

It hurts, doesn’t it?! 

No. He only pinched his cheeks, how could that have hurt? After everything Mobei Jun put him through, all he did was pinch him. And then he left. 

The only reason Shang Qinghua came back was because…

Because Mobei Jun promised. He promised he would change. He wouldn’t hurt him ever again. That he would make him noodles and care for him and treat him with respect and never allow him to be hurt again.

And then, Shang Qinghua stayed. He chose to stay. To be by his side. To allow Mobei Jun to court him. To marry him. To love him.

Mobei Jun looked at his husband, who was smiling sweetly, letting him think. His husband did not remember any of this, and yet, it was like he knew. Not what happened, but he knew that…that he wouldn’t have stayed. Not unless he believed he was safe. Not unless he trusted Mobei Jun.

Shang Qinghua put his hand on his, resting on the frozen lake. They were surrounded by cold, but Mobei Jun felt the warmth from his husband’s hand like a lifeline. 

Shang Qinghua loved him. Trusted him. Felt safe with him. Was happy with him.

It was more than he deserved. He knows. But, Shang Qinghua chose to stay. And Mobei Jun will never forget the second chance he was given. 

He bent down slightly, grazing his lips against Shang Qinghua’s forehead. “I love you.”

Shang Qinghua blushed, his smile widening. “I love you!”

They laid down upon the lake, holding one another close. Staring up at the ceiling of the cavern. It looked like stars.

This is where Shang Qinghua first loved him.

And this is where Mobei Jun will love Shang Qinghua forevermore.

A month came and went. A month filled with happiness. Laughter. Teasing. Telling stories. Sharing meals. Traveling. Spending time with Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu. Holding hands. Cooking noodles. Tending to the garden. 

Love. A month filled with love.

On the morning of the thirtieth day, Mobei Jun woke to his husband’s even breathing beside him. He smiled, and closed his eyes again. And waited.

A little later, he felt Shang Qinghua stir. A stretch. A tiny gasp. A pleasant noise.

He felt him turn. And he felt a warm kiss on his cheek. 

Then, he heard a small chuckle. 

“I know you’re awake, My King,” he said playfully.

My King.

Mobei Jun smiled, opening his eyes to see the same feeling of happiness upon his husband’s face. On his smile.

“Good morning, My King. I missed you.”

Mobei Jun rolled over him, his elbows on either side of his husband’s head, and kissed him. Shang Qinghua reciprocated in kind, laughing whenever their lips parted.

After several heated minutes, he laid back down, pulling his husband into his arms. He made a pleased noise, and snuggled up close. 

“Ah, I missed you so much,” Shang Qinghua said again.

“I am right here,” he replied. I missed you, too. 

“Yeah, but I missed…us,” he said, looking up at him with a small smile. Mobei Jun knew what he meant. Them. He missed their life together. Their past. The good and the bad. 

Mobei Jun hummed. He felt the same way.

“You were so good with me, My King. You took such good care of me,” he said.

Mobei Jun kissed his hair, then his cheeks, and then his lips. Shang Qinghua giggled. 

“And you were adorable,” Mobei Jun said, and chuckled when he felt the instant warmth radiating off his husband’s face.

“Shut up,” Shang Qinghua said with a laugh. “I was annoying.”

“Mn,” he agreed, and Shang Qinghua snorted, slapping his chest lightly. Mobei Jun smiled. “And adorable.”

With another giggle, Shang Qinghua buried himself further into his chest. Mobei Jun started rubbing his back in the way he knows his husband loves, and was rewarded by a sweet sigh.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Good,” Shang Qinghua said. “Everything back to normal!” He lifted his head. “Let me check the stupid system,” he said, before getting that far away look again.

“Great,” he said sarcastically. “Thanks so much. And Cucumber bro?” He made a face of great disgust. “Okay, great! Didn’t need to know that! Thanks! And please never use the word vigorously ever again!”

He blinked, and looked at Mobei Jun with a dramatically pained expression. 

“Do I want to know?” Mobei Jun asked his husband, although he is fairly sure he could come to the right conclusion.

“No. You don’t. Just know that A Yuan is a-okay!” he said, covering his face in his hands and groaning. 

Mobei Jun laughed. “Shall we make sure you are a-okay, as well?”

Shang Qinghua gasped dramatically, his hands over his chest, truly scandalized. “My King!” he said, mouth open wide, trying and failing to not smile. “Do you desire me so much?”

Mobei Jun answered by slowly dragging his lips against his husbands for several, long seconds, smiling against those lips when Shang Qinghua made a tiny, pleased moan.

“Yes,” Mobei Jun said when they broke apart.

Shang Qinghua answered by grabbing him by the collar and pulling him back down.

Several hours later, when they were both rung out and pliant, laying against one another lazily, Mobei Jun asked a question he had been dreading. 

“Do you think you would have been happier…if you didn’t regain your memories?”

Waking up to a world with a caring and doting husband. Who loved him more than life itself. Who would never hurt him and care for him and treat him right. Who never hit or yelled or got angry. 

Shang Qinghua lifted up on his elbows, and looked down at him. He stared for several seconds, then smiled. 

“No,” he said, kissing the demon mark upon his forehead. “I would have been happy. But, not happier. Our past may not have been perfect, but it made us who we are. What we are to each other.” He grinned. “I love you so much, My King. And I have never been happier in my two lives than I am right now.”

Mobei Jun hugged his husband close, peppering kisses all over his face. He felt the same way.

Shang Qinghua’s laughter was contagious. He was here, and happy, and loved. 

And Mobei Jun would make sure it would always be like this. He would make sure he would always be the man his husband deserved.